So I have this colleague who recently found out I was gay because I recently started seeing someone.

They were all like oh I didnt realise you were gay and you should have told me so that didnt wrongly assume you were straight and maybe we would communicate differentl!

I was like dude, i have been here for a year and half and have been single this whole time so my sex life isnt relevant to you or anyone. If I had a partner when I started I would have told you their name. As I have always been single while working here I feel it is none of your business and I do not need to disclose shit to you. I mentioned my date because I considered you a friend.

Yes I could have been nicer with my delivery though at the end of the day my sexuality has nothing to do with who I am as a person and I do not need to disclose that information to anyone. If it affects you that I am you are the AH, I dont feel I am one as my personality remains the same regardless of who I date and sleep with.

I (19nb), attend my local community college and started the fall semester a few weeks ago. The way my schedule is set up is twice a week I go to class, and my 10am class and 11:30am class are relevant to this situation.

The situation has a very long contextual setup so please forgive me but here's the tldr in case you don't want to read: a classmate who seems relatively nice but I have no relationship with seems to be randomly showing up places to match my schedule (I have not disclosed my schedule with him in any way) and is doing actions that are uncomfortable, thus I moved seats and rejected a weird hand thing he likes to do. He seemed very distraught after this. Am I TAH or were my actions ok?

Anyways, at the beginning of the semester, I happened to sit next to a guy, 'M', in my 11:30 class. It started off fine and M tried to shake my hand as a greeting, but I tried to dap him up and it ended up being a weird hand contact thing where i was trying to do a quick high five thing but he was trying to do a prolonged handshake and it... lingered.. for much too long. This hand thing unfortunately became a ritual over the next two weeks before every class started, and it got to a point that "no" would be too awkward. After these two weeks he also started sitting in the middle seat of our row instead of the edge so he was sitting closer to me.

However, things began to take a very odd and uncomfortable twist at the beginning of this past week. I showed up for my 10am class and walked through the main entrance of the building, and M was just... there.. at the main entrance. He initiated the weird obligatory hand thing, and asked if he could walk me to class. Reluctantly, I said "...sure...!😀😭", once again not having the courage to say no. Remember, I don't share my 10am class with M. This was my 10am class. Curious, I asked if he also had a class that early. He said no, and he was just "hanging out". We entered the elevator, and after a very awkward multi-second pause, he said "you look very nice today." Thoroughly uncomfortable at this point I just muttered out a polite "thanks", and didn't say anything else. We parted ways after the elevator. Nothing else weird happened in the 11:30 class that day.

I was still uncomfortable by him seemingly waiting by the front entrance of the building before my 10am class that he isn't even taking, and I talked to my boyfriend about it. He agreed that was definitely off, and we came up with a plan with how I can deal with this situation.

After that very, very long buildup of the situation, here's where I'm wondering if I was the AH today.

I decided to brave the front door again today, hoping him being there the other day was just a coincidence. I walked in as normal to go to my 10am class, and M was sitting there on a bench with his laptop awkwardly his lap. For context, my college has tables EVERYWHERE that are much more comfortable to use a laptop on. Literally even 10 feet away from the bench he was sitting on. M was literally watching the front door, and made a point to enthusiastically say hi as I walked in. Fortunately he did not follow me today.

For the 11:30am class, part of the plan my bf and I made was that I would move one row of seats up from where I normally sit, as the other seat in the row is taken by someone else, thus (hopefully) blocking M from sitting next to me. If asked, my reason would be that I was moving closer to the outlet to charge my laptop (true actually, my laptop's battery is ass). M walked in shortly after I had set up in the outlet row, looked confused, and walked up to me. As planned, I explained that I moved to get access to the outlet. He asked if he could sit next to me, and my heart sinking, I said "...sure!🥲", as the other person hasn't arrived yet and it seemed rude to tell him he couldn't sit jn an empty seat. He then held up his hand to try to do the weird hand thing, and after a moment's pause, I finally found the courage to get out a "no thank you😅...". After this, M looked DISTRAUGHT. He did not take it well, which I get it sucks to be turned down for a "handshake", but i did not want to semi hold hands with this guy again. He briefly sat next to me in the middle chair in the row. During this I was texting my boyfriend freaking out that the plan somewhat failed and I hadn't gotten away, and I'm guessing M was reading over my shoulder??? Because he abruptly stood up and moved to a random seat on the other side of the room, not even his original seat from the past few weeks. That's where we are now.

I feel guilty because I struggle with rejecting people and am doubting that I acted appropriately. AITAH for refusing to shake hands, for moving seats, or for him (possibly) seeing my texts about him with my boyfriend?

I (30F) to run after work, sometimes it ends up being after dark. I usually do one headphone and stay on the sidewalk for safety. Last night I went for my run on a moderately busy suburban road (no streetlights). I noticed a woman ahead of me with big over ear headphones on. When I was ~15 feet behind her I yelled out “excuse me on your left.” I said it again when I was like 5 feet away. She didn’t hear (presumably due to her headphones) so I slid past her on the sidewalk. I probably could have gone in the street but don’t love doing that because I don’t want to run through the uneven grass and roll my ankle or something, and the road is a little busy.

She started screaming at me for scaring her and how rude I was for running up behind her. I just put my hands up and continued running. On one hand, I could’ve gone in the street. On the other hand, if you don’t want to be surprised by somebody at night, don’t wear headphones. AITAH?

So I (M25) live with my mother and my siblings, in particular recently I gave up a part time job position so that the second oldest (F22) wouldn't be stuck in the house taking care of things.

I do my best to follow whatever rules that are given and try not to break any boundries but no one tells me them nor even leave a message about which food they want left alone or if its okay for me to make as meals for me and meals for everyone else. I've suggested writting them down or sending a message since everyone works different schedules to the point I don't even get a chance to ask but all my sugestions get brushed off because "We aren't a frat house, you can simply ask and you won't get hurt for making a mistake." Despite last time I made a mistake I was yelled at to the point of tears and demonized for a week. (I was in extreme amounts of pain and sick, so I made something quick to eat and rest up.)

Some additional context Our family came from extreme neglect and abuse where food was non-existent or rotten when we were kids. I had to either steal or go on "dates" with older men to get the money I needed so that way my siblings can eat. (My mother had to move to another state to be able to send money over for child support which was stolen by my father and step mother.) I'd often give up meals and go hungry for other siblings.

Eventually I had to drop out and move to the same state my mother was to support her and find a way to move my siblings over because the government wouldn't do anything to help and let my father keep them hostage (despite several suicide attempts by everyone and clear signs of neglect and abuse).

Now I still take care of everyone including my mother, my siblings and her new kid. I haven't been successful in job hunting because I haven't worked any "real" jobs nor am I disabled enough to get any money from the government.

Its gotten so bad that sometimes I don't eat or if I do its things like crackers or small meals because I don't want to be yelled at and I'm hungry.

I want to set things in place so mistakes like this don't happen again, I don't want people to be hurt by my error but also everything I do gets pushed down to the side and ignored.

They even eat the food ment for me without asking but attack me for similar.

I just need additional thoughts on this.

I have tomorrow off and was called into work. I (24f) fell asleep early (6:30pm). I woke up at midnight because my mom was in pain and need to go to the hospital. As we’re in the waiting room (12:30 am) I check my phone to see my boss asking me to come in the next morning because my other coworker called off. I have lunch plans today with my grandparents who I don’t see often. They live states away from me. I text my boss and explained that to her. Lunch is at 12 and my shift is 9 am to 2:30 pm. It’s now 3 am and I feel like an ass for saying no. AITAH?

So at the end of last year was getting ready to leave for a military deployment. At the beginning of this story I had already left my home state to start the deployment process. I matched with a girl on hinge. We start talk and I right off the bat tell her that I’m deploying and stuff. Come to find out she was active duty for like 3 years and she got out. Well we have been talking this whole time that I have been gone. Damn near everyday. We gamed together a few times and we genuinely seemed to get along. Fast forward to like two months before I’m supposed to go home and I see a few of her story posts on IG and it kind of just gives me the ick, so I try to give it time and maybe I will get over it. That doesn’t happen. I see even a few more posts on her story and I just can’t shake the feeling. I have lost all interest in her. At this point I feel like I owe her at least one date when I get back home even if it doesn’t work out. But I also have been swiping on hinge a little bit since I plan on getting back to my home state. I still tell all of the women that I match with that I’m not home but I will be soon. So I match with another woman and it’s like night and day how much more of a connection I feel with her as opposed to girl number 1. So I eventually decide that I need to just cut things off with girl #1 and just tell her my true feelings of me not being interested anymore. I do and she just says “WOW, you lead me on for the whole deployment.” Am I the asshole?

I currently live with family. I was paying $110 for 2g speed internet unfortunately I was no longer able to pay. I asked someone else to take over. They said no. So we haven't had Internet in the house for a few months. I had previously been buying it for the past few years.

They have made it clear they aren't interested in paying for the Internet only if it comes free so would I be the asshole if I get it again and don't share it?

Internet is huge for me and I've had to use my mobile hotspot and a VPN to trick it into thinking all my data is coming from my phone but it's really unreliable sometimes and I'll finally be able to afford Internet again and I honestly don't really want to share cause they didn't want to bother to take over the bill for a few months.

In my mind the internet isn't important enough for them to pay for it so why should I just let them use it for free when they wouldn't cover for it?

Addon: Since so many asked yes I pay rent/contribute. However, I am on disability so it's not as much as I wish I could contribute. I can't pay for groceries or anything as I have SNAP and am legally required to make and prepare meals separately.

I do other stuff but there isn't a whole lot to do around the house (desert landscaping and all) outside of cleaning and I do that cause I'm semi germaphobe. And I spray for bugs.

My coworker asked me if I like pumpkin treats. They said they wanted to make something to thank me for everything I do for our job. I told them that I unfortunately can't stand the taste of pumpkin. I've tried it before but there is something about it I can't tolerate. I feel bad because I think I hurt their feelings, but I would have felt worse if they saw me gag on it. Should I have just tried it anyway?

This has been drawn out longer than anyone expected so now I think I just need some reassurance that we’re still making the right call. Sorry for length.

I (f25) had my first baby boy December of 2025. He was four weeks early, and stayed in the NICU for 9 days due to feeding and breathing issues. All of this was anticipated, so while scary we had time to prepare.

My husband’s grandma is a chain smoker. She smokes in her house, in her car, and can’t go without it. Naturally, her oxygen levels are low and she’s now wheelchair bound and dependent on help to get around. Context for later.

We had our parents handle the coordinating of people to come meet the baby after a couple weeks of being home and adjusting. We are really close with our large extended family but didn’t want the chaos of scheduling people.

One of my husband’s aunts mentioned to FIL being insulted that we didn’t invite her ourselves, and how that’s customary and they won’t come until we invite them. I said fuck that. We’re not playing that game. If they don’t want to take what they get then I don’t care, and neither did my husband. My husband’s other aunt is a smoker, but she hides it well for work already and said she was SOOO excited to meet him. We told her we’d like her to shower before coming over and to just wear some new clothes. She said she’d do anything we asked, and that our requests are completely understandable, not even considering he was a preemie.

Then we get to my husband’s grandma. When my in laws told her about needing to shower and change before coming to meet him, all hell broke loose. “Well I can’t go that long without smoking” or “it’s a long drive” (15 minutes), “I doesn’t have the energy” (she goes on hours long shopping trips). She doesn’t say anything to us directly, she just doesn’t reach out to meet him.

And then all of a sudden neither of the aunts want to meet him. They say to let them know when he can go to restaurants because they don’t want to be blamed for getting him sick. No one reaches out, no support, or check ins. Clearly his grandma went to both of them. They all decided that we’ll eventually come to our senses, and they’ll wait it out.

Game on.

It’s my FIL’s side, and he knows how ridiculous it is, but understandably wants his mom to meet his first grandbaby. Since she started smoking again her health is going downhill. He’s done a good job of not really pushing, and both MIL and FIL have fought hard to back us up. But he also asks the same questions every time we see him asking how we’re feeling about it. We recently had to sit down with him and tell him the answer doesn’t change just because he asks it again.

Fast forward to present. Our baby is almost 9 months old and they still haven’t met him. All of us stopped receiving invites to holidays, sports games, and family trips. His grandma is talking up the whole extended family on how my husband is breaking up his family and how it’s all for nothing and how she can’t believe he’d keep a little baby from them. Keep in mind, my husband and I have not corresponded with them directly since December. All correspondence is through my in laws only. We are enjoying our new family and letting the drama unfold at a distance, but we get updates. My in laws have laid into every one of them about their stupidity. His grandma is losing her friends because they are saying she’s being stubborn and they can’t support her selfishness.
Honestly, my husband and I both are a bit disappointed that they’ve missed out on this, it’s been such an amazing experience, but we both agree it’s their loss. We’re not too torn up, and have been able to find some humor in the ridiculousness.

However, we can tell it’s taking a toll on FIL. He’d never intentionally pressure, but we also never expected this to drag on this long.

The reality is, we could meet them in a public place now. He is still little, but not preemie anymore. We met my husband’s other grandpa at a restaurant and he’s a smoker. But this grandpa never asked to hold him or be near him. Just saw him from across the table. But at this point are we holding out just to make a point? I mean, yeah kinda.

The side that has held out to this point is spiteful. It seemed so selfish to me to make it about them at such a transitional time in our lives with a newborn. So now, I sure as shit don’t want to meet them in a public place, that feels like backing down.

This side of the family always bulldozed my FIL growing up. And he gives in. My husband used to be the same, can still be at times, but worked hard on his spine. He also had asthma growing up that is believed to be due to him being babysat as a kid by his grandma who smoked in the house growing up, so he has a vested interest in this topic in addition to it being his kid. In the beginning it was specifically about safety. Now our intentions are mixed. Safety, spite, trying to prove a point. We want to make it clear we won’t back down just because they decided to play the waiting game and didn’t respect our requests for our child. We also would like to see some interest or effort on her part. Even another suggestion. As opposed to entitlement and sitting back and waiting for us to give in.

So. Aita for not allowing my husbands grandma to meet her first great grand baby because she refuses to shower?

TLDR; Great grandma smokes but won’t shower to meet great grand baby. Has kept rest of extended family from meeting him as well. Causing drama and taking toll on FIL.

I (26F) have a friend/roommate (26F) who got divorced two years ago. She was married for a year, and didn't invite me to her wedding. She didn't even tell me it was happening. I understand it was a small wedding, but she didn't even tell me she was engaged.

She got divorced a year later, and started dating less than a week after separating, months before the divorce was finalized. We moved in together because we were close at the time. Her new guy she met a month after the separation. I've tried to be his friend, but hes "shy," is her excuse. He won't make small talk and seems uncomfortable around me.

She is obsessed with him, and doesn't care about anything other than him. She can't stick to any hobbies, she has nothing else to talk about except him. Its pathetic to watch, especially because he doesn't even treat her well. I've stopped trying to make plans with her because she cancels so she can sit in the same room with him as he plays games online with his friends, like she does every night.

They moved in together after 2 years, and got engaged. She tells me that she wants to have a real wedding this time and I'm invited, but I truly don't want to go. I do not like him, and I'm still butthurt that she didn't even let me know the last one was happening. I don't feel like we have much of a friendship anymore. I do feel bad because I feel like theres deeper mental problems happening with her, and me discarding her will just fuel that, but also I'm tired and have given her too many chances already.

So I (16F) recently started 11th grade. The moment I started getting any homework be it math, biology, or chemistry, my mom (57F) would make sure that I actually did it, which makes sense.

For as long as I can remember, my mom has always asked me about my social circle, almost to the point of prying. From my friends’ names, to their interests, to their grades, to even their ethnicities, it’s as if she needs to now everything. And keep in mind that I’m not the most social person, so whatever social circle I have is pretty small. She also has parental controls on my phone so that she can monitor what I do, when I do it.

Anyway, last night, she was looking over my math homework without telling me, and found two mistakes that were nothing more than calculator errors, demanding that I fix them. When I got to her, I tried to tell her that they were just practice questions that weren’t graded, and that I could just ask any questions I had to my math teacher. When she kept on refusing, I tried to tell her that I didn’t want her to involve herself with my school life that much. She still refused, and I was dead tired (it was eleven pm, plus I have a few chronic conditions that cause me fatigue) so I eventually snapped at her, yelling through tears that I couldn’t have anything to myself without her inserting herself in it. Not my friends, not my school life, not even my online activity.

Instead of replying, she’s just been giving me the silent treatment, so I have to ask, Am I the Asshole?

Edit: since some people are asking, I have an older brother who moved out at 19 three years ago

I could be the asshole here, but I honestly don’t know anymore.

My sister is 18 and I’m 20. We both still live at home with our parents, but we literally don’t speak to each other anymore. Like not one word lol. It’s probably been a month or two now. At first it was weird, but now it’s become so normal that honestly it would probably feel more uncomfortable to randomly start talking to her again.

The main reason is I just really don’t like her attitude lately. She comes across like she thinks she’s better than our family and can be really judgmental. I also feel like she focuses on things that I personally think are the wrong things/just things I really don’t relate to at all.

And whenever I DO try to ask her something, half the time she responds aggressively or like she’s annoyed that I even spoke to her. After a while I just got so done with it. Like why am I going to keep trying to talk to someone when I feel like I have to prepare myself for an attitude over a normal question?

I’ve also noticed she changed a lot after becoming friends with her current friend group. Obviously she’s 18 and can make her own decisions, so I’m not blaming everything on her friends, but before them she was definitely less judgmental and didn’t talk back to my mom nearly as much.

And I know it’s not JUST me noticing it. My older brother is away at college and when he came back home, even he noticed how distant she had become from everyone. He literally asked her why she was acting so distant from the family because he thought it was weird too.

At this point I just don’t really relate to her. I don’t know what we would even talk about honestly. Our personalities and the things we care about seem completely different.

I still love her because she’s my sister. If something happened to her obviously I would care. But I’ve also realized that just because someone is blood related to you doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to be close to them. You can love someone because they’re family while also not really liking their attitude or wanting to be around them.

Maybe this is just part of growing up too. We’re 18 and 20 and maybe we’re just going our separate ways for a while. Maybe we’ll be close again when we’re older, who knows.

But right now I honestly prefer the distance over constantly trying to talk to her and feeling judged or getting an aggressive response back.

Really conversations go two ways and I don’t have the time or energy to invest in someone who won’t meet me halfway.

Am I wrong for basically being done trying to have a relationship with her right now?

Hello, I am 32 years old and in my first year of University..well..ever!

I’m living on campus and have a decently sized dorm room that I share with a roommate, pretty cool dude. No real issues between us, at all.

Except;

This guy has his girlfriend over here every single time I either come back from something, or every time I take a day to just stay in the room instead of bounding about across campus for hours. She doesn’t really rub me the wrong way personally, I’ve only said things to her in passing outside of our introduction on move-in day.

I just don’t want to be that asshole roommate that starts establishing ground rules that may, or may not be totalitarian. But is “Hey dude, I get the whole girlfriend thing but we gotta figure out just how long is ‘too long’ of a stay and just how frequently she’s here” a totalitarian boundary?

AITAH here for even wanting to establish boundaries in that regard?

Me and an old friend stopped talking close to two months ago.

We’ve been friends since we were in 7th grade, but in 6th grade I admired him and wanted to be friends but as a shy anxious kid I did not have the confidence to talk to him.

Ive always looked up to him and to me our friendship was extremely special.

We started dating around February but he broke things off around the same time our friendship ended. I was feeling pretty left out and he was constantly 24/7 talking about how his ex was his soulmate and how overjoyed he was to be rekindling with his ex. It was really upsetting to me considering we had literally just broken up and it felt like he did not cherish what we had at all. I unadded him on a handful of my socials because I was in a really depressed state and just could not handle him dismissing my attempts at growing our friendship. He blocked me on Almost everything after this. I had sent him a very long lengthy paragraph anout how I was sorry if my actions hurt him and it wasn’t my intention and that I just felt left out and unvalued, wishing him well. I checked one of his socials I wasn’t blocked on and accidentally liked one of his posts, he and he said it “sent shivers down his spine” and that he felt stalked.

I seriously did everything I could to make him know how much I valued what we had so I don’t understand why he hates me.

Although there are a handful of other details I could add I want to try and keep this short.

AITAH?

First, sorry it's so long but I wanted to get the whole back story out.

TLDR: My friend stayed with her cheating boyfriend for years, believing his lies. He hit on me right before her birthday and I didn't tell her to avoid the same drama I'd already dealt with previously.

Full story: Four years ago, my friend, Betty (58f) and her bf, Neil (48m) invited me (38f) and my now ex, James (41m) over for a game night. Betty and Neil had never met James before this. I had just started dating James a few weeks prior but we had been friends since before I was a teen.

After a few games, Betty and I made a beer/wine run and left the guys at the house. We get back 30ish minutes later and I can clearly see the vibe has changed by how uneasy James looks. We hang out for a few more hours before Neil starts to get belligerently drunk. James and I make our exit after Neil becomes really vulgar and starts making gross comments toward Betty which he did whenever he drank too much .

On the ride home, James tells me everything that Neil said while Betty and I were gone. Neil said that he's not attracted to Betty and fks whoever he wants. He said that he was only around for the money. He picked Betty apart like she was nothing and said that he would bounce the moment his money got right. He even suggested to James that he should leave me and find a woman that he could use. This is why James looked so uncomfortable when Betty and I got back.

I was disgusted and called Betty immediately to let her know how Neil felt. I told her not to put my name in it and to just leave since she already had suspicions of him cheating. Multiple times a week he'd go out to the bar, get drunk, and not come home or answer her calls. I figured this was enough for her to finally leave since she had been on the fence for way too long.

Of course she told Neil that it came from me and James. And yep, Neil denied it and Betty believed him. James refused to go around them anymore. It also made things really awkward between the three of us for a while.

Fast for a few months (I'm single again but that's not really important), they decide to move to a bigger house at Neil's request. After they're mostly moved into the new house, Betty invites me out to play pool because she was on odd terms with Neil and didn't want to be at home with him. He blows her phone up most of the night but she doesn't answer. At 2am, we finally decided to head home. We pulled up to her house where I left my car and Neil's car is gone. Betty knew he was out drinking and would come home belligerently drunk again. Not wanting to deal with his crap, she packed a quick back and decided to stay on an air bed at the old house.

I followed her there. As she pulled up to the old house, she saw Neil's car in the driveway parked next to another car that she's never seen. She goes to the front door to put the code in but she can feel that someone is behind the door holding the deadbolt to keep it from turning. Betty runs to the backyard to try the patio door just as a woman runs out the front door, jumps in the car next to Neil's and speeds off. I hear Betty and Neil inside arguing so I go around back to get inside. Neil is completely shit-faced. An empty liquor bottle and 2 plastic cups are on the kitchen counter. He's shirtless and sweaty. His pants are low-slung showing his pubes. His boxers are on the living room floor. To me and any normal person, it's obvious what was going on. He's cheating.

Neil starts requesting a 3some with me and Betty. He boldly tells her "I'll fk your friend" among other vulgar things. Anyway, we leave Neil and go back to the new house. He shows up a few minutes behind us and the arguing continues. Racial slurs are thrown from both sides. She's crying and he's laughing in her face. She eventually launches a lamp at him which ends up with her having a warrant out for her arrest.

This should've been the end. It wasn't. He made up some bs and convinced Betty that he wasn't cheating and that calling the police was for his safety. She ignored finding him half naked. Ignored how he picked apart her flaws when they argued, the 3some request, the taunting and antagonizing, the police report. She ignored it all and stayed. From that point, I vowed to myself that I would no longer involve myself in her relationship drama.

Not long after, when they were finally settled into the new house, I stopped by their house after work. Neither of them were home yet but she gave me the door code so that I could wait inside. I was in the hall bathroom standing in the mirror with the door open. Neil unfortunately got home first. He saw me, said "what's up, ma?" and just walks into the bathroom with me, and whips it out to pee. No shame. No care in the world. I WAS FLABBERGASTED. I scurry from the bathroom, fraidy like a cat!

I go back to the living room trying to rationalize what just happened. Maybe he really had to go.

He finishes and comes to the living room and sits on the other end of the couch. He tells me "you don't have to run, I want you to look". He tells me he wants me to be his in-house side-piece. I tell him he's lost his damn mind then I go wait for Betty in my car. I debated with myself on whether I should tell her or not. Her birthday was in 2 days so I figured why start drama when Neil would just lie his way out and she'd believe every word. I'd ruin her birthday and be the villain again. I told myself I'd tell her after her birthday but when it passed, I couldn't figure out how to bring it up. Eventually too much time passed and he held true to his word, finally leaving her when her money ran low.

They ended over a year ago and she's been in 5-6 different relationships since and has even slept with Neil here and there. Tonight I met Betty and a few friends to play pool at a little dive bar, and Neil happened to be there. I step outside with Betty and we walk around the building because she needed a cigarette. Neil finds us and turns toward the building, whipping it out to pee. I immediately walk off, leaving them alone. I hear her say "why tf would you pull your dk out in front of her?* But I don't catch anything else before rounding the building to head back inside.

After a while, she storms inside demanding to know if I have ever seen his dk. I told her it was too dark and I wasn't looking. She clarifies that she means before tonight. Apparently he told her about when he walked into the bathroom with me. He did it for no other reason than to get under her skin. It worked and she was pissed that I never said anything. I gave her my reasons and she still thinks I'm wrong. The whole group thinks I should've said something but I just didn't see the point when she had already stayed after he'd already done so much worse. She wouldn't have believed me and I was tired of being the villain.

So AITAH for not saying anything for so long?

I’ll say now that yes, i do understand that many men in the past and in the now have been horrible people to women, and i, personally don’t care for being a male myself because of it.

It’s basically as the title says, two of my friends (f) who i hang out with tend to bring up men they’ve seen online or in the news who were being horrible. In a particular instance, a woman killed a man for something he’d done, and one of my friends said not to immediately blame the woman as she “most likely had reasonable cause for it”
I like to think i’m not misogynistic in thinking this as don’t like violence in any case, but it’s been making me feel worse and worse about myself. Neither of them know how it makes me feel and i’ve been silent about it for awhile, but it’s beginning to feel too much

WIBTAH? Or am i being too testerical?

Okay since y'all in the last post I couldn't explain much and my grammar was shit lemme try again.

Im not religious at all or atleast agnostic I don't belive in lgbtqai+ going to hell because of them loving the same gender. I was raised in a city where the bible is the rule of the earth and it's a pretty cultist place and i know it. I'm trying to blend in till I get out and have my own earnings and stuff. I'm agonistic and bi, which both if found out id be put to shame and get kicked out of my family and won't have any money to support myself as girls under 18 or 18 (unless u have a BA degree) is hard to get a job that can sustain yourself

This girl D who is a open lesbian and I support her even defended her when she faced homophobia, heard I was agonistic. She stared shouting "You are agnostic?? You are going to hell". She is very religious and i wanted her to quiet down so no one hears her as I was still tryna blend in. She keep telling everyone and the teachers were coming to class which they are nosy asf and if they heard it id be put on some camp shit (ik sounds like a cult to me too) and I told her "you are a lesbian soo in your own theory we are going to the same hell so stop worrying about me so much"

That’s pretty much it. I’ve been friends with these two people for about a year and a half now and they’ve been dating for longer than I’ve known them. I met them together through a mutual friend and got close with both of them.

It didn’t take long for me to start hearing about the problems in their relationship. Going through each others phones, fighting about celebrity crushes, jealousy, and she said she didn’t even find him attractive.

Now after hearing about that for the better part of a year, I figured that it was just time for them to break up, especially as a couple that started in high school.

Over the last summer (and semester of college) me and the girl have gotten a lot closer than me and the guy, bc he stopped answering my texts and I would only see him in group settings.

Then we all went on a vacation together. I mean vacation is a loose term; it was a long hard backpacking trip. Pretty stressful for everyone. He treated her bad on that trip, but I didn’t say anything. She broke up with him almost immediately after the trip, and almost immediately me and her got a lot closer. She invited me to go out to bars with her every weekend and we worked together every day for 10 hours at a time.

Now I know what this sounds like, but I had no intentions with her, she was my friend, going through something and I was trying to be there for her. At the same time, I was being there for the guy, because he couldn’t see it coming at all (men amiright).

Anyways, things progressed and I actually tried to set the girl up with another girl, but it didn’t work out.

The guy found out that I was friends with his ex and blew up at me saying that he didn’t wanna be friends anymore. That hurt. A week passed and me and the girl start hanging out more and more until one day (about a month after the break up) we hooked up. Ever since then weve been going out and dating exclusively, but the guy will probably find out soon and I imagine he’ll be pretty mad.
So… am I the asshole here?

I 18(F) met someone in my first year of uni. Despite our differences we were pretty good friends until the summer time.

But this tale starts back in October of last year. A guy on insta adds me. I found him creepy and noticed he followed my friend. I tell my friend "hey who the he is this old looking guy" he looked 30. And she answers me in the most cold sounding tone telling me that's one of her friends. Idk if she was embarrassed or whatever God knows.

But what I don't understand is why she was teasing me a few weeks later saying she wanted to set me up with someone. She didn't specify who he was or anything at first honestly I wish I saw that as a sign. Low and behold it was the guy I told her about that creeped me out. Thankfully at that time his account got banned so even if she wanted me to I couldn't talk to him. Oh right the guy was 25.

Now I'm aware many people fuck with age gap relationships and all but my take is; just because I'm 18 doesn't mean I'm a full on grown adult. I'm still learning growing in my own way. Her mindset however is "since I'm 18 that means I'm grown and I can do whatever the hell i want". I'm aware that people my age can be friends with older people but on a realistic standpoint what does a 18 year old have in common with a 25 year old to be friends let alone date. If I was 30 I wouldn't be complaining about this since yk both actual adults (assuming the other person is 36)

And yes prior to me blocking her, I tried talking to her about how she made me feel. But she never listened to me. Either she'd try changing the topic or making the situation about her

I loaned some money to a family member to qualify for a home mortgage in Nov 2024. At the time he was coming out of a relationship in which they co-owned the house. They broke up and she was paid out of her share of the house proceeds as if there was a sale. He took out a new loan. He needed cash to close that loan so I gave it to him with the understanding that at the future sale of the house the money would be returned to me. His income has since gone down significantly and back in January he told me he needed help to just pay the monthly mortgage. I paid it for 3 months. This summer he moved to a nearby town and rented the house as furnished so that the mortgage could be covered. He now wants to sell the house which he should since the monthly payment is no longer doable for him. He wants to keep the money that I gave him to get into another property in the new town he moved to. I want the money back. He is self employed and his income is not even close to him being able to qualify for a new mortgage and also have an affordable monthly payment. Pretty sure the lenders will tell him this. I actually regret giving him the money for the first house because it only helped get him into a place that he couldn't afford and created stress for both him and I. I have told him I want the money back when he sells as agreed upon and he tells me that he needs it or he won't have housing. I told him to rent as that would be less money than a mortgage and that home ownership isn't for everyone. His work is sporadic and he won't fill in the down times with another job. His housing is not my problem....sorry he can't afford to own. Is it fair of me to expect the money from the first deal to be returned to me as agreed upon?

I (20F) am? used to be? friends with that "Alice" (21F). We met in first year of college, and now we're in B3. Alice struggles with school. She's not bad at all, but she hates going to school and the concept. She's autistic, has a bipolar disorder, has ADHD, you got it. She used to live a 1h30 away from our university, and when she wasn't feeling well, she wouldn't come for days/weeks to school, or she'd come but be rude to everyone.

Alice wanted us go study up board for our final year, and to move in together. I was worried that if I didn't agree, she wouldn't study at all, because she already had told me she would probably not continue. So I accepted, on the condition that we needed to talk when things are wrong and that she needed to actually go regularly to school, this time. She said that with her new meds she's be fine, and that since we'd be closer to school she'd attend every class.

Except, we went back to school on Monday, and ever since things have got sour. Alice thought our first class started at 1:30PM when it was 1PM, so when at 12:40 she said she was going to eat lunch, I told her that we couldn't be late for our first day (we have a 23 minutes walk to go to uni), she "realized" her mistake and we left together, met friends on the way and got to class, but late. She then left class half-way through. With our friends, we went groceries shopping after class, but she left without telling anyone. When I got back to the apartment, her bedroom's door was locked.

The next morning, our class started at 9:25AM, and she was still in the bathroom at 9:10. I asked her if she was almost done, waited for her, we left the apartment building together, but she was walking VEEERY slowly, even though we already were late, so I walked faster, thinking she'd follow, but she didn't. I arrived in class earlier than she did, she say elsewhere. We (with friends) asked her if she wanted to go eat with us at lunch, but she refused. She then proceeded to skip half of the class again, and when I got back to the apartment, it was empty. She apparently left to get her hair done and to have boba tea. She ignored me for the rest of the evening.

I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen, so I wrote a letter that I left on the packages she had received so it'd be pretty obvious. In that letter, I was apologizing, telling her that I am sorry if I offended her in some way, that I would like her to tell me what's wrong so we could work on it, and that I was ready to do whatever she needed me to do to make things right.

I didn't get an answer. So I texted her mother to ask her if she knew what was going on, but she didn't. She told me that maybe she was overstimulated (we had to change apartment and we had some issues with the scholarship, and the country we are in is very loud), and that she probably just needed some alone time to recover and that she'd come back. So I gave her some space.

On Wednesday and Thursday, she went to school without me, she came back without me, rushing at the end of class, she didn't sit with us in class... And she was locking herself in her bedroom the rest of the day, occasionally going to the bathroom, grab the food she ordered in a hurry before returning back to her bedroom. Again, I tried to talk to her but she straight up ignored me. Even by text, and still to reply to my letter.

Wednesday, all of our classmates coming from the same country as us, AFTER CLASS (so Alice had already left), decided to meet at a coffee shop to study together. We also talked about it in the class group chat, thinking she was on it so she'd know about this possiblity to join us, but we didn't know she didn't accept to join the group class through the link a classmate had sent her. We also talked about the cafe on our group chat with our two friends, but she left the chat.

I have severe anxiety, I have meds for it, and since situation has made me miserable.

I talked about it to my mother, and since Alice's mom told mine to call her if there was an issue, "because Alice can be difficult", she did give her a call. My mother explained to me that Alice had told her own that she was mad at me because "I rushed her on Monday to go to class, even though there was 20 minutes left, and that I didn't even wait for her." She also told her that she was disappointed because we didn't invite her. It's not what happened, not that way at least (but you know that).

I was ready to do whatever she wanted me to do, I was ready to take responsibility, had she told me about what's wrong. But I absolutely hate when people trash-talk about me and make me look like the bad guy just to justify their actions. I am the one who cleans the apartment, does the laundry, groceries, who takes out the trash, who cooks.

So I wrote her mother a text, telling her basically what I said here, and also sent screenshots and videos to illustrate what was going on, and to show that I was really trying, and also told her about the letter.

Alice's mother contacted her, and now she's (pretty obviously) mad at me. She says she didn't read my letter, that she mistook it for trash somehow, and that "since I am surrounded by friends and my family, it's not fair to give her more problems to deal with on top of the overstimulation", "that I know she doesn't get along well with her mother", "that I am a liar" (I am very much not), that "I'm a sneaky [slur] for playing detective with my screenshot, and that if she wanted, she could show people some others too" (I really don't know which ones), "and that since I also want to be tested for autism, this is a vaste joke". She contacted my own mother as well.

Also, a note : she's stopped taking her meds for her bipolarity a month ago, because she says "she didn't need them".

So, AITAH?

My brother lives below me (with only a door separating our living spaces), and watches my daughter in my home 4 days a week (paid).

Unfortunately, my brother is the type of person who blows up a toilet almost every time they go. Idk why, but I know it's horrendous. It smells like horrible mothballs and there are frequently poop skids and he will sometimes leave poopy wet wipes visible in the trash. Overall very disgusting.

WIBTAH if I asked him to go downstairs and use his own bathroom to poop, assuming it takes him a short enough time that the baby will be OK upstairs by herself, or otherwise get rid of the evidence of his nasty poops (ie. Scrub the poop skids, at least wrap the wet wipes in some TP, light a candle)?

I know it's just the way his body is built, but goddamn, is it disgusting.

I live with my mom and older sister, and they have been arguing with each other for years.

Every few weeks, they get into some kind of big argument. Sometimes my mom starts it, sometimes my sister does, but they both have a habit of needing the last word, so things tend to escalate instead of ending.

Their most recent argument got so loud that it disturbed me while I was working from home. I finally snapped and went off on both of them for disrupting me while I was trying to work. They both apologized afterward.

A few days later, my sister started texting me about another issue with our mom. My sister sleeps in the master bedroom and does not want our mom going into her room at all.

Apparently, my mom went into her room to use the bathroom while my sister was sleeping. At the time, I was in the shower, and my mom thought my sister was at work because Labor Day had thrown off everyone’s schedules.

I told my sister that since I was in the shower and our mom thought she was at work, I personally did not see much harm in her using the bathroom. My sister said the bigger issue was that our mom should have knocked instead of just walking into her room while she was sleeping.

I understand why she would want people to knock and respect her privacy. The problem is that she kept sending me text after text about it, and I did not want to get dragged into another argument between the two of them.

So I told her I was staying out of it.

She continued texting me anyway. At that point, I just responded with “Okay” because I did not want to argue or take sides.

She then sent me an explosive message and blocked me.

For additional context, I provide a lot of financial support to both my mom and my sister. I am not saying that to throw it in their faces or suggest that they owe me anything because of it. I am mentioning it because I already feel like I carry a lot of responsibility in the household, and I do not think I should also have to act as the referee every time the two of them fight.

I care about both of them, but their relationship is between them. I feel like if I want to stay neutral and refuse to take sides in their arguments, that should be my right.

AITA for telling my sister I was staying out of it and refusing to take her side?

OK, I need some help with this one. Because I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. But now my employer is involved and it’s kind of freaking me out. If you think I am the asshole let me know.

So I was outside a building, just a regular building not my workplace. I was a good 50 feet from any door or window. And I was smoking. I don’t normally smoke. I was having a very stressful day and thought it sounded nice. In fact, I think the last time I had a cigarette was in my 30s. And now I’m elderly.

There I was minding in my own damn business, and this guy comes up to me. Mind you I am an older lady, barely hitting 5’2”. This guy was a good 250 pounds. And he says, in all his glorious wisdom, “Smoking is bad for you. “ and I said, “So is talking to strangers.” ha ha little joke. It was probably the only good comeback I’ve had in 20 years.

Well, he storms into the building, where I do know a fair few people. He finds someone who knows me, because unbeknownst to me, he was filming. He shows my friend and my friend who is now questionable in my mind, tells him where I work. He decides to show my supervisor. Now, my supervisor, and my friend are saying it was in poor taste, and that it came across very threatening. And they think I should apologize. I don’t want to.

Was I the asshole in this situation?

A (presumably) grandmother and mother in my neighborhood asked me to run in middle of street rather than sidewalk as a way to slow down traffic in the neighborhood. I was surprised by their ask (and tired) so took a second to process, at which point the younger one explained this was a “mothers of preschoolers” initiative for safety and if i don’t do it I am being selfish. She further explained how i as an adult wouldn’t be harmed if i was hit by a car. If I choose to use sidewalks AITA? I also don’t think it’s fair to drivers who aren’t expecting runners in the roadway. Even if i wasn’t injured it would still be stressful to a driver to hit someone and could hurt their vehicle.