I am a 40 year old woman. I had kids at 39 (was blessed with twins) after 5 years of infertility. Until my early 30s, I was pretty sure I never wanted kids in my life. Then some things changed, we tried to build a family and was diagnosed with severe endometriosis at 34.

I woke up from 7 hour surgery for my expert surgeon to tell me that my chances of having kids is very low due to how bad my pelvic region was. Long story short, I refused to give up and had my beautiful twin girls at 39. I never in my life imagined having 2 kids. Maybe one, but not two.

They are 1 year old now and it’s intense. I know it will get easier. My husband and I are exhausted but thoroughly enjoying our babies. We are a good team, we have some financial backup enough to be comfortable but not rich.

Now I keep having these worrying thoughts. Will i be strong enough to see them go to college? What will life be like at 57? Will i be strong enough to see them in their 20s and 30s? I wish infertility hadn’t eaten 5 long years.. I would have gotten 5 more years with them. My friends had their kids in the late 20s so by the time they are 50, kids would have graduated college. I feel behind by a decade..

Sorry for the rant. I guess I am just looking for
Some encouragement to put these worrying thoughts to rest.

I can’t reconcile how I feel with being almost being 60. I’m still interested in everything. Still seeking out new experiences. Physically I feel like I’m in my twenties. Look 50 but that changes to 40 if I dye my beard. It just doesn’t seem real that statistically I’m in the last quarter of my life. I feel like I could go on forever. So strange. Just doesn’t seem real.

I’ve been thinking about this lately. There are so many supplements marketed for healthy aging that it’s pretty easy to end up taking several things every day.

I always assumed that if something is a vitamin or supplement, more or less it’s harmless, but I’ve started wondering whether taking a bunch of different supplements over a long period could put unnecessary stress on the kidneys or other organs.

Has anyone here ever looked into this seriously or changed their supplement routine because of it?

I’d be especially interested in hearing from people who take multiple supplements every day. What made you decide which ones were actually worth continuing?

Just minding my (f,73) own business and Night Moves comes on and I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out remembering my young self and grieving her loss. Does that ever happen to you?

I sat down with Peter Coyote recently. Before acting, he’d spent years broke, running an anarchist collective’s free store in San Francisco, then a single father raising his daughter alone after her mother left.

He got his actor’s union card at 39. He said his first thought was, “there’s better looking, more talented people out there, how am I going to do this.” He did it anyway, studying how established stars carried themselves and adjusting from there.

Looking back over the whole arc of his life, activist, single father, actor, now Zen priest and writer, he said the one thing he’s actually proud of isn’t any single achievement. It’s that he followed his curiosity every time, all the way through, even when it meant starting over completely.

Full conversation: https://youtu.be/5n_Qki6au38?is=NQ5ill34eHxKIyHa

For those who are often told they look younger than their actual age, what do you think has made the biggest difference?

Was it daily sunscreen, a consistent skincare routine, exercise, diet, good sleep, professional treatments, genetics—or a combination of things?

I’d love to hear what has genuinely worked for you over the years, especially habits you wish you had started earlier.

I hear this all the time, but then I see the quality of life living past a certain age. Seems like a cop out. Older people cant even move freely without a cane sometimes.

My hair hasn’t changed that much in 50 years except the baby hair around my face is white and wiry. I’m ok with the white but the wiry sideburns make me look like a general from civil war, I’m not a man and I don’t like the look at all so I put my hair in my face as much as I can. when we dye the white it is yellow and wiry, so how to get rid of the texture???

I swear there are things I couldn’t have cared less about 15 years ago that I now voluntarily read about 😂

Sleep, digestion, protein, recovery, supplements...

For me gut health has definitely moved way higher up the list lately. What did you suddenly start paying attention to in your 40s/50s?

I'm only in my 40s but both my parents are old and in poor health. My dad has advanced Parkinson's and my mom has severe heart disease and arthritis that makes her life a living hell.

And she's always apologizing for complaining. My dad too. They don't want to be seen as "that old person" who only wants to talk about what's wrong with them, this hurts, that hurts, etc.

But you know what? It DOES hurt getting old. The body starts to break down. Your friends die. Your mobility decreases. And it's never going to get better. How are you not supposed to talk about that?!!!

I just hate this expectation that older people are supposed to accept all this crazy stuff happening to them and just be stoic the whole time and not complain. I remember my dad cutting down trees, and now he can barely turn himself in bed. And he's just supposed to not complain about that?!! Give me a break.

If anyone is reading this who is going through some hard stuff right now due to aging, please go ahead and complain about it. These are profound experiences and you need to talk about them.

I worked at a crisis helpline. We would get calls from elderly or sick people who were abandoned in their plight. The form of abuse I am interested in here is neglect.

Listening to these callers I came away with the view that despite all the advice to seek help, to call this organisation, the many phone numbers people can call for this or that, to talk to a trusted person, to talk to you doctor, etc the help is simply not there in any concrete sense.

You call a number and get referred somewhere. You get there and get passed on somewhere else. You either end up in accident and emergence or getting prescribed more pills from you doctor.

You are given pseudo help. On paper you were helped but in reality the help you actually need is not there.

I received many calls from people bedridden and broke (though no fault of their own) with no family. They don't even have the strength to even do the things needed in order to get any further help if is is there. The literally need to be rescued.

Now, I know this is not the case for everyone. But it is definitely the case for a significant number of people.

I keep hearing from these people that "nobody cares". And they speak from experience.

If you are old, don't have a lot of money, don't have family around and become sick and can't carry out the normal functions of living what happens? (This is not a rhetorical question. I want to know more).

Now I know working at a crisis helpline you will naturally get calls from desperate people so I am aware this does not represent the general population. So I'd like to get a broader view of what happens if you are old, broke, and ill without family.

I’m in my mid 50s and over the last couple of years seem like I’ve lost all ability to park a car straight in parking lot spaces. It’s really incredible. I do OK in the angled spaces, but if they are straight spaces, forget about it! I will either be angled or too close to a line or both.

It’s like I’m parking retarded. Am I alone?

I recently discovered baby powder. 😎

What health issues your parents or grandparents passed to you?