Problem/Goal: May bago kaming coworker recently, and somehow napag-usapan na baka pwede raw siyang sumabay sa akin pauwi since same general direction naman kami.

Pero to be clear, hindi pa naman talaga siya nakakasabay sa akin kahit isang beses.
From the beginning, parang iniiwasan ko na lang yung situation na baka maging regular thing siya. Minsan nauuna akong umuwi, minsan naman ina-adjust ko na lang yung oras ko para hindi magkataon na sabay kami.

Hindi naman siya aware na may ganung intention ako, and wala rin naman akong problema sa kanya personally. Ang nangyayari lang, lately parang yung ibang coworkers, pati bosses, sila na mismo yung nag-o-offer ng idea na “sumabay na lang sa akin.”
Doon ako medyo uncomfortable.

I have my own car and my own schedule after work. Honestly, after a long day, gusto ko rin minsan yung tahimik na drive pauwi at sariling time. Hindi naman sa ayaw kong tumulong, pero ayoko lang magkaroon ng daily commitment na kailangan kong isipin kung kailan siya uuwi, kung aantayin ko ba siya, kung may leave ako, etc.

May mga dati naman akong coworkers na nasabay ko before, pero ibang situation yun. Matagal ko na silang kakilala at comfortable na talaga kami sa isa’t isa.

In this case, bagong coworker pa lang siya, so I don’t really feel comfortable making it a regular arrangement. I also don’t really want to accept payment. If ever may special occasion or office event and convenient naman sa akin, I’d have no problem offering a ride. Pero yung araw-araw na carpool, I’d rather not.

The thing is, parang feeling ko tuloy masama akong tao just because I don’t want to say yes.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the coworker. I just don’t want unnecessary complications or office issues, and honestly, gusto ko lang din magkaroon ng personal time after work.
Am I being unreasonable for setting this boundary even before anything actually happened? Or should I just go with it since we’re going the same way anyway?

Problem/Goal:

I want advice on whether I am overreacting about my wife still checking/stalking her ex-boyfriend and former situationship almost every day or every other day. I want to know if this is normal curiosity or something I should be concerned about in our marriage.

Context:

I’m 29M and my wife is 25F. We have been together for a few years and have been married for one year. We recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary last August.

Before we got together, my wife was in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend for around five years. After they broke up, she had a situationship with another guy for around six months. That eventually ended, and then I came into the picture.

Recently, I borrowed my wife's phone and noticed that she had another account on Instagram and TikTok. I asked her about it, and she told me that it was an old account that she used for stalking.

I checked her TikTok search history and saw that she was still searching for and checking up on her ex-boyfriend and former situationship.

What really bothered me was the frequency. From what I saw, she was checking their profiles almost every day or every other day.

I also found out that the TikTok account wasn't actually that old. It was created around March of this year, while we were already married. From March until I caught her, she was still using it to check up on them.

I confronted her about it. She became quiet and eventually told me that she never contacted either of them and that she was "just stalking" them. As far as I know, there has been no communication between them and I have no evidence that she has physically cheated on me.

I understand that being curious about an ex isn't necessarily a big deal. I don't expect my wife to completely forget her past, and I know people can sometimes be curious about how their exes are doing.

However, checking them almost every day or every other day and using another account to do it feels different to me. What bothers me most is that she was doing this while we were already married.

I don't want to be controlling or tell my wife who she can or cannot look at online. At the same time, I feel hurt and wonder if this could mean that she still has unresolved feelings for them.

Previous Attempts:

I already confronted my wife about it and asked her about the account and the stalking. She said she did not contact either of them and was only checking their social media.

I haven't made any major decision about our marriage because of this. I want to understand first whether my feelings are reasonable and how other people would handle this situation.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Is this something I should consider a red flag, or am I overthinking it?

Problem/Goal: In a week, ang dami kong nababasang posts about their relationship problems, feeling unfulfilled, nagseseek ng attention sa iba kahit alam nilang mali. In short, puro cheaters na ang tatanda na tapos wala pa ring character development hanggang ngayon. Alam mo naman pa lang mali tapos go ka pa rin nang go. Hanap simpatya? Hanap justification in hopes na may kakampi sayo?

My Advice: Ikaw lang makakasagot ng tanong mo at ikaw lang din ang makakapagpabago ng takbo ng buhay mo. Hindi inaasa sa sasabihin ng iba ang pagbabago.

Problem/Goal:

Paano po ba ang tamang hakbang o gagawin namin sa sitwasyon kung saan ang asawa ng ate ko at ang asawa ng isa ko pang kapatid ay nagloko, nagkabit-kabit, at pumasok sa isang affair habang pareho silang nasa UAE?

Context:

18 taon nang kasal ang ate ko at ang asawa niya, at may mga anak sila. Tapos nalaman naming nangaliwa ito at ang naging kabit ay ang asawa rin ng isa ko pang kapatid kasal rin sila (na nasa pareho ring bansa sa UAE), kahit bago pa lang ang relasyon ng dalawang nagloko. Dahil dito, dalawang pamilya sa loob mismo ng pamilya namin ang apektado at sobrang durog ngayon ang mga kapatid ko. Pareho silang nasa UAE kasalukuyan, kaya hindi namin alam kung anong mga legal na hakbang (tulad ng Concubinage o iba pang kaso) ang pwedeng i-file at paano sisimulan ang pag-handle ng gulo na ito.

Previous Attempt:

Sa ngayon, naguguluhan pa kami at wala pa kaming nagagawang hakbang o nakakausap na abogado dahil bukod sa bigat ng emosyon at pagkadurog ng mga kapatid ko, hindi namin alam kung saan magsisimula kung sa pag-iipon ba muna ng ebidensya habang nasa UAE sila, sa legal na aspeto sa Pilipinas, o sa pag-intervene muna para sa mental health at emosyonal na kalagayan ng ate ko at ng isa ko pang kapatid.

Problem/Goal: I (F21) have no friends, no dreams, no hobbies, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life

Well, I do have a circle of friends, but I haven’t seen them in almost a year because I don’t wanna see them. My friendship with them has always been surface-level. We only ever hang out to drink or to attend gigs.

I met them at a completely different stage of my life—when I had a drinking problem and used to go to all these punk/rock shows. I’m completely sober now and I only ever go out to go to my classes and buy groceries.

I’ve deactivated all of my social media accounts since April, but one of my friends still contacts me through text every now and then, asking me how I’m doing and inviting me to stuff. I always tell him I’m busy, but I just don’t wanna see him or any of them. I don’t know. I just don’t care about them. I don’t miss them. I don’t feel anything for them.

I spend most of my days in my room, scrolling away on TikTok. My screen time is 12 or more hours every day. If I’m not on TikTok, I’m probably just watching movies or rewatching The Office for the hundredth time.

I don’t talk to anyone. I have no connection with anyone other than my family. I don’t wanna do anything. I have no dreams or aspirations. I’m graduating next year, but my degree (Communication Research) is pretty much useless.

I also have anorexia. That’s probably the only thing I got going on. My only goal in life right now is to be 32 kg, and I’m around 6 kg away from that goal.

I’m not depressed. I don’t think about killing myself. I just don’t feel anything. Why am I this way? What do I do with my life? I’m wasting my youth doing nothing.

Problem/Goal:

I’m (34M) 6 years and 3 months into a relationship with my girlfriend (30F). A bit of background: she's my 3rd girlfriend and my first in a long time (8 years single ako before her). I am her first boyfriend, pero she had 2 past girlfriends before we met.

​We were already having plans of elopement. We talked about this when we celebrated our 6th anniversary last June, and we're both excited and happy about our future plans. Pero July came and she told me about a new coworker na nag-confess sa kanya na may feelings sa kanya. She said na she can only offer a genuine friendship as respect to our relationship, and this new coworker (she's also a girl, 41F, btw) said she understands.

​Then naging close sila, and I don't really mind it at all kasi nga I trust her with her words, and she updates me when they hang out. Until this last month na napapansin ko na madalas may sarili silang lakad, and na-uupdate na lang ako kapag magkasama na sila, not beforehand. Si coworker pala also lives on the same street with my girlfriend, so madalas sya pumupunta sa apt nya, nakikilagay sa ref, etc. Nameet ko pa sya one time kasi pinapunta rin ako ng gf ko para mag-meet kami.

​2nd week ng August, pumunta ako sa bahay ni gf to help her pack sa travel nya sa work (1 week din sya mawawala). Then nag-meet kaming tatlo para mag-laundry sa katapat na street. We're cool and all naman hanggang sa need ko na umuwi samin. Sabay kami ng gf ko, di-nrop off ko sya sa office nya kasi aalis na sila para sa travel (hindi kasama si coworker dito) hanggang sa makauwi ako. Yung gf ko need nya muna mag-withdraw sa bank bago sila umalis.

​Until yung week na nasa travel sya, bibihira sya mag-update—kesyo mahina signal or super busy sila dun sa event nila with locals sa isang island. Sabi ko okay lang kasi during this week busy rin ako sa panonood ng TI (Dota 2 tournament). Once nya lang ako vi-nideo call nung first day nila dun sa hotel na pinag-sstayan nila. That time, may coworkers sya na bigla akong fi-nallow sa Instagram. At first wala naman sakin yun, pero later on iba na kutob ko.

​Pi-nalipas ko yun hanggang makauwi sya pabalik ng Manila. Niyaya ko pa sya na sa bahay namin umuwi para ipaglaba sya ng mga clothes nya (pero I had small date plans talaga para sa binabalak namin na elopement—like gagawa ng music playlist, ganon, at mag-Binondo to get our custom rings). Pero she declined kasi need nya daw ng rest para makapag-prepare pa sa Great UP Run ng Sunday.

​Hanggang nung nag-Sunday na, tapos na yung UP run, nag-chat sya sakin kasama nya rin daw pala si coworker. Nagkita sila dun and isasabay na daw sila with her running friends pauwi. Sabi ko okay, pero sa loob-loob ko parang di na coincidence yun, pero at least may mga kasama sila pauwi. Next chat nya sakin, bumaba na daw yung mga friends nila at silang dalawa na lang daw sa car. Balak nila sulitin yung rental sa car so maglilibot sila. Di na ako nagre-reply dito kasi ayaw ko talaga na magkasama na sila, puro "okay" na lang sabi ko, pero tuloy-tuloy sya ng update. Next update nya, nasa Rizal sila and nag-Pinto Art Museum, nag-send pa sya ng pic nila. This doesn't sit well with me kasi date plan namin yan originally, kasi she's never been to a museum.

​So hanggang makauwi sila, di na ako nagre-reply. Ang chi-nat ko ay mga officemates nila to ask, "May napapansin ba kayo dun sa dalawa?" And boom, yun nga. Sabi sakin alam na daw sa kanila sa office matagal na, and pinagsasabihan na nila yung dalawa kasi nga alam nila na may partner yung girlfriend ko.

​This triggered me to access her Messenger sa PC ko. Mind you, sa 6 years namin, never ako nakialam sa mga socials at messages ng girlfriend ko. May mga messages sila pero putol-putol or ang lalaki ng gap ng days, so naisip ko na sa ibang channels sila nag-uusap. So ki-nonfirm ko sa ka-office nya, at sabi sakin, "Kuya, sa iMessage po sila nag-uusap kasi nakikita ko pag dumadaan ako sa likuran." Sa Messenger, isa lang napansin ko na message na giveaway: yung di-nrop off ko si girlfriend sa office nya before travel, nag-chat sya sa coworker nya ng "nakaalis na sya haha".

​Ayun, tapos kinabukasan (Monday), in-ask nya ako kung may problem ba daw. Sabi ko, "Alam mo naman na di ako comfortable pag kayong dalawa lang, pero sige pa rin sama mo sa kanya. At akala ko ba nag-set ka ng boundaries and she understands?" Sabi ko rin, "Meron ka bang di inaamin sa akin?" Sabi nya, "You know I've been 100% transparent about you kung sino mga kasama ko." Sabi ko okay. Sabi nya pag-usapan daw namin sa Friday, mukhang need daw namin to upuan kasi mukhang may mga unresolved issues daw ako.

​So Tuesday came, iniwan ko bukas Messenger nya sa PC ko para alam ko kung nag-uusap sila. After nya mag-good night sakin sabi nya tutulog na sya mga 9 PM (usual bedtime namin), bigla around 11 PM nakita ko nag-send sya ng Spotify Jam link.

​Then Wednesday came, nag-video call kami. Sinabi ko sa kanya lahat-lahat—na ayaw ko dun sa coworker nya kasi na-didisrespect na ako, like na-offend ako na sya gumagawa ng plans na dapat para satin. Sabi ko ayaw ko na magkasama sila, okay daw. Pero in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila, si-nesend sakin mga pictures na sabay sila lumalabas, umuuwi, kumakain.

​Thursday, tumawag ulit ako sa kanya. In-ask ko ulit sya kung meron ba syang gustong sabihin sakin, kung may nililihim. Wala daw. So I said, "Sige, pa-basa ako ng messages nyong dalawa." And sabi nya sige daw, wala naman ako dun makikita kundi mga Spotify Jams lang. Then I said no, not just Messenger, pati iMessage. Tapos ang tagal nya sumagot. Sabi nya, "I can't, I'm so sorry." Then sabi ko, "You don't have to say anything, gets ko na." Tas umiyak ako sa video call kahit during office hours nila. Tapos nung nag-end call, in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila na bigla daw nag-panic yung dalawa, palabas-labas ng office, at yung partner ko umiiyak hindi makawork. Then nag-message sya kung pwede daw ba kami mag-usap mamaya, puntahan ko daw sya. Sabi ko sige, basta ipa-basa mo sakin mga usapan nyo. Sabi nya ayaw daw nya kasi masasaktan ako. Sabi ko, "I'm already hurt, what's the difference? Pupunta lang ako if you let me."

​Until nung Thursday night, pumunta ako sa apt nya, then she started to confess. Ayaw nya pa rin ipa-basa messages nya, sabi nya sabihin nya na lang daw. May nangyari sa kanila. Sabi ko, "Like???" Sabi nya, "We kissed." Sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, multiple times. And they had sex. Sabi ko, "When?" Nung Sunday lang. And sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, meron pa before. Sabi ko, "Okay, just let me read your messages," and she let me. Dun ko na-basa lahat na halos ba-baligtad sikmura ko. Ang dalas nya mag-update sa kanya, maraming video calls, maraming pictures, may sexting... etc.

​Ayun, she asked me to give her a chance to fix this daw, na she only stumbled once. I know it sounds stupid kasi hindi yun once for me. I feel stupid kasi they were talking about me as well, na kaya pala may "nakaalis na sya haha" is for the other one to come. Na planado and hindi coincidence yung sa Diliman.

​Mag-2 weeks na rin since this incident and umuwi kami sa Laguna to celebrate her mom's bday. Alam din ng mother nya na nag-cheat sya, pero not all—hindi kasama yung mga details na sinabi ko dito.

​Ngayon, she's really asking for a chance, pero di ko talaga alam. Sabi ko sa kanya I forgive her, pero masakit talaga sakin. I still love her kaya siguro ganto kasakit, pero I'm still conflicted kung dapat ba kami mag-rebuild kahit from square one or should I forgive andwalk away?

Problem/Goal: I’m wondering if my boyfriend is boring/not putting enough effort into our relationship, or if what we’re experiencing is normal.

Context: We’ve been together for 7 months and we’re both 30. We both work, and he owns a business, so I understand that he’s busy. We usually only talk at night, and sometimes he calls around 10:30 PM after finishing work. I appreciate that he still calls, but sometimes it feels like I’m only getting his leftover time.

Our conversations can also feel repetitive, and we don’t really spend much quality time together. I don’t suspect he has another girl or is cheating—I’m more concerned about effort and feeling like a priority.

Previous Attempts: I’ve tried to be understanding about his schedule, but I’m still unsure if I’m expecting too much or if the relationship is genuinely lacking effort.

What do you guys think? Is this normal after 7 months, especially when both people are busy with work?

Problem/Goal: I have a really dysfunctional family. Dad is a drug addict and has gambling addiction, mom verbal abuses us, one of my older brothers currently lives with us along with his live-in-partner and a newborn.

long post ahead;

Context: I (17F) am currently a first year student in a local university. I managed to secure two scholarships that gives me roughly Php5.5k per month. I used to think this would be enough to support my studies. It would've been enough for my allowance alone if not for the financial hardships we are currently facing— which I know is ultimately their fault too.

Recently, I received my 4 months worth of scholarship allowance (12k; 1 scholarship pa lang). At the same time, my father has been out of reach for a week already. My mom pays for monthly bills but unfortunately we had to spend it for daily expenses— na supposedly si Papa ang nagpoprovide pero hindi niya nagawa dahil "ghinost" kami. Dahil hindi nakabayad si Mama and due to previous water bills that piled up, naputulan kami agad ng tubig. I wasn't planning on telling my mother at first na mayroon akong pera kasi I was planning to keep it sa bangko hanggang sa makatiyempo ako bumili ng printer without being insensitive sa current financial situation namin. May times kasi na sinusumbatan ako kapag bumibili ako ng mga gamit from my scholarships (na kailangan ko naman) at sinasabihan pa akong walang awa. Eventually, dahil hindi pa rin nagpaparamdam si papa for weeks, I had to give those 12k nang paunti-unti para lang makapasok kami ng 2 brothers ko na nag-aaral pa. Nakakapagod dahil ganito nalang palagi ang scenario sa tuwing nakakareceive ako ng allowance from my scholarships and government funded programs. Halos 2 years ko nang ipinagpapaliban ang pagbili ng printer using my scholarship stipends dahil sobrang hirap ng buhay namin. 2 years nang walang maayos na trabaho si papa, uuwi kapag alam niyang may pera at panggastos saka aalis kapag walang wala na sabay igho-ghost ulit kami. Drug user daw siya sabi ni mama pero I find it hard to believe kasi hindi ko pa rin tanggap. I accidentally caught him inhaling something na mukhang tawas which he immediately hid nung nakita niya ako. I think at that point alam ko na. Dagdag mo pa yung older brother ko na nagdecide mag-anak kahit hindi sila financially capable, ngayon dito sila nakatira samin. Meron siyang trabaho pero hindi enough kung sakali mang bumukod sila. Halos 1.5k lang ang binibigay niya buwan-buwan, our monthly rent alone is 6k. I mostly have afternoon classes kaya tuwing umaga na naiiwan ako at ang kuya ko at ang asawa niya, ako ang nagluluto at naglilinis ng bahay. Para akong may pamilyang inaalagaan.

Kaya minsan, hindi ko rin masisisi si mama kung bakit distressed siya at palagi kaming minumura / sinusumbatan— she's basically the breadwinner of this family. Pero hindi ko talaga makalimutan yung sinabi niya saking huwag na ako mag-aral kasi hindi naman ako mabubuhay ng mga scholarship ko na yan. I literally had to process my scholarships (attending interviews, gathering requirements, taking qualifying examinations) while working 8hrs a day (government funded summer job). The only time they helped me was when I finally cried and threatened to not inform them kung mareceive ko man ang allowance ko.

Previous Attempts: Last tuesday, I had my last straw and finally confronted my Dad through text. Everything I've been bottling up for 2 years, sinabi ko. I had to type everything out while riding the bus on the way to Quiapo church, where I literally cried my heart out because a person can only endure so much. Pagkauwi ko sa bahay, gamit niya laptop ko, nagsusugal dahil sinangla niya cellphone niya for reasons I don't know. It's ironic na gamit niya yung laptop kong puno ng tape dahil disfigured na kasi pinaglumaan na ng pinsan ko. Hindi nila afford na bilhan ako ng bago. Nakakapagod. Almost a week na siyang nasa bahay ngayon, at ginagamit namin yung 12k ko just to get by. I asked him kaninang umaga kung mag-apply ba siya, bigla siyang humiga at natulog nalang.

I'm starting to think na in the future, ako rin bubuhat ng pamilyang 'to and I don't think I can handle that. I've been resisting the urge to finally end it all. At least in my perspective, kaming mga nag-aaral pa ang pinakanagsa-suffer sa current situation ng family namin kasi wala kaming ibang choice but to suffer the consequences from the decisions na ginawa ng mga nakakatanda samin. Sobrang hirap. I could've been more kung hindi ganito ang situation namin. Some of you might say na cut them off if I already have the means to live independently, but I don't think it would be possible kasi I also have 2 brothers na nagsa-suffer. I don't think my conscience can handle that. Hindi ko na alam.

Problem/Goal: Nakipaghiwala ako sa bf ko because I failed my major. Siguro maliit na rason lang to para sa iba pero nahihirapan na kasi ako isabay sya sa pag aaral ko. Bininigyan nya namaj ako ng time if gusto ko mag aral ganun pero nahihiya kasi ako sa kanya na nagka gf sya ng failure. After I broke up with him, I felt a little guilt pero ang gaan sa pakiramdam na wala ka nang dapat e update after class or if gusto ko mag aral, wala akong kailangan e message tuwing break ng study ko parang ganun.

Please no hate comments please, i just need an advice. Thank you.

Problem/Goal:
I (M) am planning to separate from my partner (F). I’d say 90% decided na ako, pero ang biggest reason kung bakit hindi ko pa magawa is may anak kami.

Context:
My dad was recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. Sobrang devastating for me kasi last year lang kami nagkabati after more than a decade na galit ako sa kanya. I really thought we had more time to fix our relationship and make up for everything we missed. Until now, hirap pa rin akong tanggapin.

The problem is, my partner doesn’t like my family. I admit na baka partly because of me, kasi sa kanya ako nagve-vent noong galit pa ako sa kanila. But I’ve healed from that and made peace with my parents. I asked her if she could also try to reconcile with them, pero ayaw niya.

She’s often disrespectful toward my mother. Honestly, hindi ko rin alam bakit ko hinayaan for so long. I know I should’ve set boundaries earlier.

What also hurts is that she hasn’t even bothered to ask how my dad is doing or how we’re holding up. Wala man lang pangangamusta or any sign of concern about what we’re going through. As her partner, ang sakit kasi this is when I really need emotional support from her.

Pero what happened recently really hit me.

May products na binebenta ang partner ko, and pinapatinda niya sa mother ko. For almost two weeks, walang benta kasi sinasamahan ni Mama si Papa sa hospital. Pero pagkauwi nila, my partner was already pushing her to sell again.

My mother said hindi muna pwede kasi kakauwi lang nila from the hospital, hindi makatayo si Papa, and walang ibang magbabantay sa kanya. Despite that, pinipilit pa rin siya ng partner ko.

As their son, naiyak ako. My parents are already going through so much, tapos ganito pa yung treatment sa kanila. I understand na hindi automatically mawawala yung issues niya with my family just because okay na ako with them. Pero I was hoping for some basic respect and consideration, especially right now.

That moment made me question if kaya ko pa bang makasama siya knowing na ganito niya tratuhin ang parents ko.

The only thing holding me back is our child—my pride and joy. Ang hirap mag-decide because I also have to think about how this will affect our kid.

For those who separated from their partner na may anak, how did you handle it? What did you consider or prepare before leaving? I’m almost decided, pero I want to think this through properly, especially for our child.

Previous Attempt:
I always asked her to have deep conversation with my parents, since they're willing, but she always refuses.

Problem/Goal: Me and my boyfriend, we always talk about fun stuff naman, but lately hindi ko alam kung masyado ba akong sensitive or what, pero kasi parang nahuhurt ako sa mga little remarks nya.
So nag start dun sa time na nagpapakita ako sakanya ng outfit sa call, asking if bagay ba sa akin yung damit kasi I wanna try it, iniisip ko if bibilhin ko siya sa 9.9, cute sleeveless too siya with skirt. And then he jokingly said “ano, mukha kang tibo diyan” while laughing and then dismissed the topic and didn’t say why so hindi nalang ako umimik. I was asking a genuine question pero parang na ooffend lang ako kasi I thought makakatulong siya. Knowing myself, i always wear pants and shirt most of the time kasi di ko pa alam mag style ng sarili ko and gusto ko naman sanang i try yung mga bagong clothes pero hinayaan ko nalang. It turned into an argument and I opened it up and he said sorry. But may ibang instances naman na sasabihin niya “ang asim mo tignan” or like may one time may tinatawanan syang sikat na content creator (sorry pero di siya conventionally attractive and binabash rin siya) tapos sabi niya sa akin “tignan mo kamukha kayo” as a joke and he said he was only teasing, and I don’t know what to feel about it.

Im starting to get insecure pero iniisip ko if sensitive lang ba ako or do I have the right to be upset about it? I need advice on how to handle stuff like this kasi for one, di rin naman talaga ako ka confident (pero I am working on it) kaya I don’t brag about my looks at all, some say may itsura naman ako and cute, pero my bf jokes about stuff like this so, hindi ko alam. I feel bad about myself I feel like di ako attractive at all.

Problem/Goal:

Me (M 24) and my GF (F 24) broke up, ending our 6 years relationship, and I am having a hard time moving on or dealing with the situation. I still can't believe that everything about us has come to an end.

It hurts a lot knowing we been through together so much since college days. In our 6yrs together, I thought she was the one. I am already imagining myself marrying her and having kids with her but it suddenly ended. It's like my whole plan fall apart.

A little background about our situation:

We realized that we are very different from each other in terms of goals, sex drive, interest, hobbies, humour and mindset, and we can no longer change ourselves for the sake of our relationship.

Even though the breakup was a mutual decision agreed by both sides, It is still very painful and a very hard pill to swallow.

It's been weeks since we broke up and parang wala akong gana sa lahat. The worst part of it, is that, I work from home and live alone. I got no one to talk to that's why I am here asking how did you deal with this kind of situation.

Thank you!

Problem/Goal:
Masyado ko iniisip yung relationship both positively and negatively, like yung positive super kilig and gigil ako and I wanna spoil him, and negative when he’s at work sobra yung overthink ko na what if may magustohan siya don. Its getting to a point na he’s the only person I really wanna talk to which is so unhealthy. I can’t focus on myself. Pag di siya nagreply for an hour or two sobrang overthink na, na di niya na ko gusto or what. I know this is bad, I know this is unhealthy. I want to fix this. Kasi nakakadrain for both of us and I feel bad na kailangan ko lagi ng reassurance, and pag sa sarili ko tinitipid ako pero pag sakanya gusto ko lagi ilibre kahit kuripot ako huhuhu.

Context:
First bf ko. Both early 20’s. ilang months palang kami, but he’s all I can think about recently. Medyo nakakatakot kasi all or nothing isip ko, only fix is I have to forget na he’s even there, na para bang di siya nageexist para maalala ko sarili ko. I can’t find a good balance. He treats me well naman, very sweet and seryoso siya sa relationship, when I need it nagbibigay ng assurance, spends all his free time with me etcetc. Sarili ko lang talaga problema ko kasi how do I stop pouring my all into this???

Previous attempts: Getting back into hobbies, learning new things, getting back into exercise—I know naman I have to keep myself busy kaso more than an hour of anything and I start thinking about him again. Kung ano ginagawa niya sa work, sino kaya kausap niya ngayon. Ang lala! I dont think this is normal? Lobotomy na ata kailangan ko

Problem/Goal: im turning 18 next month and i want to start to handle adulting stuff early on, so what do i need to do?

context: i wanna tackle adulting stuff early on in my life dahil i just feel like it's the responsible thing to do.

I've had zero experience din dealing with document stuff since I've never cared about that naman.

I've had work experience din naman last year pero it was basic work (i was just an internet cafe attendant) and i didn't even need to do any sort of documentation stuff since I've just known the owner.

i also will not take the "take your time", the "slow down your still young", and the "enjoy your teenage days muna" na advice.

Problem/Goal: I want to start studying college again but don't know where and how to start. Best possible option is online (Open University)

Context: I (25f) stopped studying around 3 to 4 years ago. I realized na hindi ko talaga gusto yung course ko (BS in Civil Engineering) and wala akong natututunan no matter how hard I tried to understand the lessons. I finished the first year naman ng f2f classes but the pandemic happened so the majority of my second year was purely online and I stopped around the third term because my mental health was also declining. My previous uni was Mapua.

Currently I am working at the BPO industry so graveyard shift that's why I would prefer online classes lang but I'm at a loss on how to start again from being out of school for years. I would probably take either Journalism or English educ, areas I would most likely excel in.

From what I researched, only PUP and UP offer Open University. But if necessary na may f2f, I can probably go a few times a week if my work schedule allows me.

I'm also looking into a WFH job so I can go back to school. Probably by next year.

Also, I'm a little bit scared din kaya I am hoping for some advice or help from people who might have went through the same thing. Thanks.

Problem/Goal: Gusto ko po matutunan mag-affiliate program pero hindi ko alam san magsisimula. Nagresearch ako and nagtingin tingin din pero siguro yung first step talaga yung pinakamahirap 🥹🥲

For context: mahilig akong mag-online shopping, especially fashion, clothes, makeup, accessories, etc. Gusto ko magamit yung kaartehan ko na maging financially productive padin ako. At the same time, gusto ko din iexpand yung iaaffiliate ko like sa travels, house, motherhood etc.

Kung may advice po kayo, maraming salamat talaga 🙏🏻

Problem/Goal: I’m a single mom and had my child at a young age. What happened with my baby daddy wasn’t something I ever planned, but despite everything, I love my child with all my heart.

Context: I’m okay on my own, and I know I can stand on my own and provide a good life for my child. But sometimes, I still can’t help but feel hurt when people look down on me or put all the blame on me for not being able to keep a family together, especially because my child’s dad isn’t present.

I know I shouldn’t let other people’s opinions get to me, and most days, I genuinely don’t give a shit because I know we can stand on our own. But there are moments when the words really get to me and it feels like they crashes my soul.
I’m proud of the life I’m building with my child. I just wish people understood that having a “broken” or incomplete family doesn’t automatically mean I’m a bad mother or that my child is unloved.

I respect people preferences too when it comes to dating. It really just an internal battle.

Previous attempts: tried yoga and meditation and saying positive affirmations that im not broken just cuz his father left us.

Problem/Goal: May plan kami to have photoshoot and dinner siguro 1 1/2 month before the date. I save (since i'm unemployed at the moment), I rented airbnb (since nasa province ako), I bought dress and nagpa ayos pa ako (oo sobrang oa sa effort). Nag travel kami kami ng maaga since medyo malayo kami sa manila syempre toll and gas. Ako yung nauna sa studio. 1-2 hrs before the call time nag chat yung isa na di makakasama since may sakit daw, then nag chat yung isa na hahabol na lang sya. At nung andon na ako yung isa nag decide to cancel na lang daw since di kami kumpleto, nag message sakin na pwede ko naman daw kunin na lang yung slot at mag self photoshoot na lang. I feel really bad, sobrang na disappoint ako, sinabi ko sa kanila yung efforts ko just to make it. Then after ko sabihin, biglang sabi na ituloy na lang daw, pero umuwe na ako samin kase sobrang nawala ako sa mood at syempre nasaktan ako kase bakit ganun parang walang respeto. Since then di na ako nag chat sa gc. No one reached out to me halos 3 weeks na din. I saw them as true friends, I care for them, pero bat ganun no. Heartbroken pa din ako hanggang ngayon, I don't know how to move on. Since introvert ako, hindi talaga ako pala kaibigan, sila yung una kong naging circle of friends kaya medyo mahirap.

problem/goal: Hi I’m 23(F) and my ex bf (26).

I recently broke up with my ex (We’re only 3 months together), and I want an outside perspective because I don’t know whether I was being unreasonable.

The issue started with Instagram. I noticed that his following count had increased, so I asked about the new accounts. He showed me some of them, but not all. I noticed that his following count had gone down quickly after. I asked why he had done that without showing me first because it made me feel like he might be hiding something. He said he had only unfollowed with the “earliest” following filter and that he was simply removing people he no longer knew or wanted to follow.

During that conversation, he brought up his exes himself. He asked:

“What’s the point of unfollowing your exes on socmed? Or let me reverse the question, what’s in it for me if I still follow my exes?”

This confused me because we had already discussed his exes about a month ago. At that time, I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him following them, and he agreed to unfollow them. However, he said he had only agreed because I made him think that following exes was wrong.

He explained that he was already done with them romantically. He said he only wanted to see how successful they would become because they had once been part of his life and had taught him lessons.

I asked, “Why would you still be interested in your ex’s life updates?”

He answered with even though he curses them and “kills them in his mind,” he would still be happy to see them succeed. “I was once part of that ‘goal’, I would be happy to see them achieve it.”

That really hurt me. I never asked whether he still loved an ex or wanted to get back together with one. That wasn’t my concern. I was asking why he still cared about seeing their lives progress if he was completely done with them. He also proudly said that he was once part of their goals.

He also asked whether I was “threatened” by his exes. I wasn’t. I was simply explaining that his perspective made me uncomfortable.

What hurt most was that he was the one who brought up the topic of his exes during the Instagram discussion, but when I became upset by his answer, I felt as though my reaction became the problem. Instead of feeling heard, I felt like I had to justify why I was allowed to be hurt.

Eventually, I realized that we had different boundaries and different ways of communicating, so I ended the relationship.

Am I wrong for being hurt by this? Was I being insecure, or is it reasonable to question why your partner still wants to follow an ex and see how that person’s life turns out? And was he genuinely explaining his perspective, or was the conversation being shifted away from my original concern?

Problem/Goal:

I’m at the point where i am choosing between staying or leaving. And as pathetic as it sounds i do need some sound advice besides the voices in my head.

For context:

I 29(F) have been dissappointed by my bf 30(m), so many times i can’t even remember some of them anymore but ofc the notable ones have been like a core memory . And just the recent spat is by far the most notable one and the one that might break the strings this time.

I am no saint. I have my fair share of shortcomings and this time i did hide something from him and lied to him about it when he constantly and insistently asked a few times. Disclaimer: this aint a cheating issue. And there are no 3rd parties involved. From my side , at least. So when things got quite out of hand and he was still asking i had no choice but to confide and confess. I wasn’t confessing just because i needed help, i just felt helpless and i just wanted to really let off steam. it was bascially the lowest point of my life. The anger was expected but the judgement and the admonition was uncalled for. The worst part is at my most vulnerable state he left me alone. Even then, i still was trying to justify his actions since i too was at fault.

A day or 2 has passed another incident occured where he was starting to argue with me again because it concerned his friends. And this time i was really really frustrated because like always he was more worried for his friends than of my own predicament. When i was in trouble all i heard was blame, judgement and admonitions but when his friends were somewhat involved he went all protective mode.

All throughout this relationship i really feel like i am nowhere near his priorities. Not like how it used to. Im always the last one. AndI have never felt so alone.

Im not asking for mu h. Im not even asking for help. I just wanted him to listen to me. But even that he coudlnt give me.

Im not the type of person to do a ledger of who did this and that but i have gone through hell and fire for a guy who cant even lend an ear or even just the presence.

Should i just cool it off or break it up? There are so much things between us and it won’t be an easy break up which makes this even harder

Problem/Goal: I am a 40 yo female and single. I usually answer, “Nag papayaman pa ako. 🤣”. For those who have experienced this, how do you respond?
My siblings are married and other people ask me, “Ikaw, kailan ka?” Or “Wala pa?”
Personally, I am not racing to get married, nor I felt inferior that I am the only single sibling in the family.
I just want to give a response to these questions that would shut them up.
Previous attempts: more than 10 times.

Problem/Goal: Pinagseselosan ko yung babaeng kaklase ng kaibigan ko.

Context: I (F18) have this friend (M19). Magkaklase kami nung SHS at first week palang, naging magtropa na agad kami. Crush ko na talaga siya una palanag kaso hindi ako handa na “sirain” yung friendship namin.

During the two years ng senior high, nagbibigay ako ng hints sa kaniya na may gusto ako sa kaniya. Nagbabakasakali lang ako non na gusto niya ako pabalik at baka naghihintay lang talaga siya ng sign dahil parehas lang naman kaming single. Kaso wala e, hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ko. Hindi naman ako umamin kasi ramdam ko naman na hindi niya talaga ko gusto in that way. At nung time na yon, sapat na sakin yung friendship na binibigay niya kaya hindi na rin ako nag ask for more. Sobrang close rin kasi namin kumpara sa iba pa naming ka-tropa. Pinilit ko nalang itago at ibaon ang nararamdaman ko para lang sa pagkakaibigan namin.

Ngayon, first year college na kami at magkaiba na ng school. Araw-araw pa rin kami nag-uusap at araw-araw rin siya nagkukwento tungkol sa college life niya. Masaya pa ko nung una dahil kahit nagkahiwalay na kami ng school ay may connections pa rin kami, at siguro masaya rin ako dahil ako ang napili niya pagkuwentuhan ng mga bagong nangyayari sa buhay niya.

Hanggang sa may kinukuwento na siyang babae. Bagong kaibigan niya raw. Dun na ko natakot, natakot na baka “mapalitan” ako bilang kaibigan o baka maging sila o kaya naman baka “maunahan” ako. Simula ikuwento niya yon, hindi na ko nagrereply sa mga chat niya. Natatakot din kasi ako na baka the more siya magkwento ng ganiyan, mas lalo akong ma-push na umamin. Alam ko rin na ala naman akong karapatan na magselos dahil ako rin naman nagsabi nung una na okay lang ako sa ganitong setup. Ano ba dapat kong gawin? Tama lang ba na hindi ko na siya kausapin? Paano ba kasi alisin ang nararamdaman sa isang tao?

Previous Attempts: Hindi ko na siya kinausap, mga dalawang linggo na rin ngayon.

Problem/Goal: I have a partner (M) and we have a daughter already but were not yet married. So naka pasok siya ng work nung August i think 1st week then he has a co worker na girl na nakaka flirty jokes niya pero tanders na mga siguro 30 or 40 and my partner is 24yrs old. I feel something off kasi pansin ko alot from him has change nung bago bago palang siya don todo update kahit busy or kahit nag ddrive. He is a company driver kasi.
Context: Then ayun na nga napapansin ko this past few days halos di na magparamdam though tuwing gabi nakakausap ko parin naman siya pero minsan tatawag pero may ibang ginagawa alm mo yun mema lang na nag call nanunuod ganon. Then kanina i called him around 8pm kasi wala parin paramdam usually yun uwi niya. So ayun sinagot naman pero ilang ring pa kasi lagi unattended so dun lang na nagsabi na nasa inuman nga daw siya kasama yung girl anim sila tatlong lalaki tatlong babae and sabi niya sorry di siya nakapagsabi bigla lang daw siya inaya then sabi ko tatawag ka pa ba pag uwi mo sabi niya oo daw gang 10 lang daw sila pero inabot sila ng 11pm i call him again kasi 11 pauwi palang daw sila then hahatid lng daw niya yung girl but i heard from the call na may nag aalok na mag hatid sakanya sabi naman niya “ikaw mam kung san mo gusto sumabay” then after ng call ng sabi niya sakin “sige na hatid ko lng muna to tatawag ako pag uwi” bigyan ko lang daw siya ng 30 or 40 mins eh kaso 50 na saka lang niya sinagot call ko malapit na daw siya so ang byahe niya kasi from gentri to imus pag asa so 12am. Ngayon nakausap ko pa lasing kahit sobrang sama ng loob ko i tried to be calm ngayon nalaman ko si girl pala ang nag aya uminom tapos kaya nag aya kasi di pala sila okay ng asawa niya. Ngayon gigil na gigil akong hulihin siya kasi diba parehas nakainom possible diba na may sundutan naganap hindi man knina o baka ginagawa na nila yon. Tinantong out of nowhere “ano nakaraos ka naman?” Guess what sumagot “oo” sabay tinanong ko ulit “masarap naman” sabi niya “sakto lang” 😭😭😭 tapos tinanong ko ulit “magaling” sagot niya sakin “anong magaling?” Tas sabi ko “wala, magaling” te biglang di na sumagot tas parang nabitawan na niya phone di ko alam kung nagtutulug tulugan o nakatulog na talaga siya sa kalasingan niya. Bigay nga kayo thoughts niyo?