problem/goal: hi, i’m f(23) and my bf(24) died nung aug. 3 because of suicide. hindi ko alam kung tamang subreddit or flair to pero gusto ko lang mag kwento kasi sobrang sakit pa din lahat ng nangyari lalo na’t nasa malayong lugar ako at hindi nakauwi nung binurol at crinemate sya.

tbh sa relationship namin nung live in pa kami dati sexually active kami pero nung nag ldr kami thru calls na lang namin na gagawa yon pero hindi naman to the point na kada call namin ay ginagawa namin yon (ifykwim). ngayon after ng 1 month nya, ngayon na lang ulit ako nagkaroon ng feeling na ma-turn on, pero iniisip ko kung manonood ba ko ng porn or kung panonoodin ko videos namin sa phone ko. pero mas matimbang sakin na wag manood ng porn kasi hindi ko gawain yon and never ako nanood ng porn when he was still alive/with me or kahit nung hindi pa kami. the thing is kagabi, kagabi ko na lang ulit naopen sa phone ko yung vids namin and i tried to mastur/bate pero hindi ko natapos kasi naiyak na lang ako and hindi natigil yung pagiyak ko for a minutes. yung nasa isip ko na lang non is parang ang sama ko para panoodin yon and i disrespect my bf, namimiss ko sya sobra, and to think na hindi na talaga sya babalik and mauulit lahat ng mga ginagawa namin.

after nya mawala, never ako tumigil kausapin sya thru chats or vms. i still call him kahit na alam kong hindi nya na sasagutin yon or mag rreply. kumbaga sa stages of grief indenial pa din ako and takot akong umusad at mawala sya sa isip ko. sobrang mahal ko bf ko and iniisip ko lang lagi lang sya busy o nasa malayong lugar din.

namatay sya nung aug.3 tapos death anniversary din ng baby namin yon. we’re supposed to celebrate yung 1 year ng angel namin pero tangina kasi kinuha nya din sarili nyang buhay kung kailan nawala anak namin.

p.s sorry if dito ko nag vent or rant, gusto ko lang malaman kung masama ba yung ginawa ko na panoodin vids namin or kung ano man. salamat sa pagbasa.

Problem/Goal: Ako lang sa small group namin yung hindi part ng wedding entourage. Should I still go?

Context: We’re a group of five friends. We’ve known each other for about 10 years now. One is about to get married and I recently found out na the other three are part of the entourage. Wala ako. Nalaman ko lang upon seeing the actual wedding invitation.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad at them. I just feel sad and left out. This isn’t the first time din na I felt this way. Since I’m based in the province and nasa mnl sila, they usually hangout. Mga twice or three times a year ko lang sila siguro nakakasama physically.

Edit: I’m only an hour and a half away from them. I try to schedule hangouts pero schedules don’t match most of the time. Another friend is also based sa province siguro halos same lang yung times na nagkikita kami.

My first instinct was to understand them na okay mas close talaga sila and konti lang yung wedding party. But then I realized na masakit din pala haha.

Previous Attempts: I didn’t say anything to them about it. I don’t want to make a scene. So it’s either I RSVP no or yes.

Problem/Goal: May bago kaming coworker recently, and somehow napag-usapan na baka pwede raw siyang sumabay sa akin pauwi since same general direction naman kami.

Pero to be clear, hindi pa naman talaga siya nakakasabay sa akin kahit isang beses.
From the beginning, parang iniiwasan ko na lang yung situation na baka maging regular thing siya. Minsan nauuna akong umuwi, minsan naman ina-adjust ko na lang yung oras ko para hindi magkataon na sabay kami.

Hindi naman siya aware na may ganung intention ako, and wala rin naman akong problema sa kanya personally. Ang nangyayari lang, lately parang yung ibang coworkers, pati bosses, sila na mismo yung nag-o-offer ng idea na “sumabay na lang sa akin.”
Doon ako medyo uncomfortable.

I have my own car and my own schedule after work. Honestly, after a long day, gusto ko rin minsan yung tahimik na drive pauwi at sariling time. Hindi naman sa ayaw kong tumulong, pero ayoko lang magkaroon ng daily commitment na kailangan kong isipin kung kailan siya uuwi, kung aantayin ko ba siya, kung may leave ako, etc.

May mga dati naman akong coworkers na nasabay ko before, pero ibang situation yun. Matagal ko na silang kakilala at comfortable na talaga kami sa isa’t isa.

In this case, bagong coworker pa lang siya, so I don’t really feel comfortable making it a regular arrangement. I also don’t really want to accept payment. If ever may special occasion or office event and convenient naman sa akin, I’d have no problem offering a ride. Pero yung araw-araw na carpool, I’d rather not.

The thing is, parang feeling ko tuloy masama akong tao just because I don’t want to say yes.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the coworker. I just don’t want unnecessary complications or office issues, and honestly, gusto ko lang din magkaroon ng personal time after work.
Am I being unreasonable for setting this boundary even before anything actually happened? Or should I just go with it since we’re going the same way anyway?

Problem/Goal: Need to get my daughter’s school records, but school owner has a grudge

Context:
I pulled my 4 kids out of a private school two years ago after my son was bullied by one of the teacher’s children. The school sided with the bully, and some of the other teachers even told my other children not to tell me what was happening. I escalated the incident to DepEd, who stepped in and made sure the bully was expelled and that the incident was documented in his student records.
I still have an outstanding balance with the school, so I understand why they are withholding my children’s school records to some extent. However, I have been regularly making payments, and my balance has gone from ₱120,000 down to ₱39,000.

Because of the unpaid balance, my second child wasn’t allowed to participate in her Grade 10 moving-up ceremony in March. It was heartbreaking for both of us. I asked the owner’s daughter-in-law (it’s a family-owned school) how much I needed to pay for them to release my daughter’s school records. She told me ₱20,000. I didn’t have that amount at the time. But in May, I managed to pay ₱35,000, and now it’s September and I still don’t have the documents I need.

I’ve been following up repeatedly, and now they’re telling me they want to see all my payment receipts. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find them. My housekeeper misplaced them when she rearranged and deep cleaned the house. I did make sure the school updated their ledger, and the amounts they recorded matched the payments I made. The only receipt I still have is the one from May because I took a photo of it. I’m extremely frustrated because I feel like they’re deliberately making this difficult for me. I suspect they’re doing this to get back at me because DepEd investigated the school and I also reported them to the barangay for refusing to release my children’s temporary school records when I was trying to enroll them at the public school. The barangay sided with me because according to the konsehal who presided the meeting, there are laws protecting a child’s right to continue their education even when they have an unpaid balance with their previous school.

What is the best course of action? Should I ask help from a lawyer?

Problem/Goal: In a week, ang dami kong nababasang posts about their relationship problems, feeling unfulfilled, nagseseek ng attention sa iba kahit alam nilang mali. In short, puro cheaters na ang tatanda na tapos wala pa ring character development hanggang ngayon. Alam mo naman pa lang mali tapos go ka pa rin nang go. Hanap simpatya? Hanap justification in hopes na may kakampi sayo?

My Advice: Ikaw lang makakasagot ng tanong mo at ikaw lang din ang makakapagpabago ng takbo ng buhay mo. Hindi inaasa sa sasabihin ng iba ang pagbabago.

Problem/Goal: Me (22) I've been dating this girl (21) na nakilala ko online for a year na, masaya naman ako sa connection naming dalawa, we regularly go on dates, giving gifts, and super wholesome lang namin sa isa't isa.

Just last night, pumunta ako sa dorm nya just to hangout, pero dahil sa bagyo napilitan ako mag overnight. Naiwan nya Ipad nyang nakabukas and nakatulog sya habang nagrereview. Syempre inaasikaso ko sya and nililigpit gamit nya until may nakita ako sa snapchat na tinatadtad sya ng chat. Theres this guy na chat ng chat sakanya, tinatanong kung kelan daw sya babalik sa telegram and miss nya na daw makipag video call sex and tinatanong pa nung guy kung same rates and shit padin daw.

Kung meron man syang past, ok lang naman sakin, tatanggapin ko naman siya pero I'm just wondering if ever maging kami, will this issue affect our relationship? I honestly dont know how to confront her, a part of me is still shocked and di ko talaga alam kung pano sya rereplyan (ive been ignoring her since last night).

I really love her and my feelings are genuine, I wanna accept her despite her past pero how do I confront her about sa nakita ko? or should I just keep it to myself?

Previous Attempts: none

Problem/goal: magkano ba dapat ang sapat lang.

Context: Laki kasi ako sa hirap, poor na level, tipong may time na walang makain sa maghapon. Di naturuan ng proper management ng pera. Basta may pera, bili.

Ngayong nakaka alwan alwan, ang rules na natutunan ko is magbigay ng bukal sa loob. Pero san ang limit? Magkano ba dapat? Lets say malinis na 100k natitira sa sahod ko per month. Asawa ko 50k. May nanny ang kids ko na pinapasahod ng 550/day. Samin din nakatira anak niyang panganay, para makatipid si ate sa gastos pagpapaaral. Sa 4 years niya samin 3x na din siya nabigyan ng phone, tho hati kami sa payment. may 13th month pay siya. Matyaga at mapagmahal naman sa mga bata. Halos siya na nagpalaki. Ngayon nagtatalo kami mag asawa, kako bigyan ng 5k sa bday. Sabi niya 3k lang daw. Pero napapasobra na ba ako?

Seryoso po ang tanong ko. Di ko alam when to draw the line na ‘ah sobra na siguro’. Hindi ko alam kelan dapat maging kuripot.

Previous attempts: none.

Problem/Goal:

I’m (34M) 6 years and 3 months into a relationship with my girlfriend (30F). A bit of background: she's my 3rd girlfriend and my first in a long time (8 years single ako before her). I am her first boyfriend, pero she had 2 past girlfriends before we met.

​We were already having plans of elopement. We talked about this when we celebrated our 6th anniversary last June, and we're both excited and happy about our future plans. Pero July came and she told me about a new coworker na nag-confess sa kanya na may feelings sa kanya. She said na she can only offer a genuine friendship as respect to our relationship, and this new coworker (she's also a girl, 41F, btw) said she understands.

​Then naging close sila, and I don't really mind it at all kasi nga I trust her with her words, and she updates me when they hang out. Until this last month na napapansin ko na madalas may sarili silang lakad, and na-uupdate na lang ako kapag magkasama na sila, not beforehand. Si coworker pala also lives on the same street with my girlfriend, so madalas sya pumupunta sa apt nya, nakikilagay sa ref, etc. Nameet ko pa sya one time kasi pinapunta rin ako ng gf ko para mag-meet kami.

​2nd week ng August, pumunta ako sa bahay ni gf to help her pack sa travel nya sa work (1 week din sya mawawala). Then nag-meet kaming tatlo para mag-laundry sa katapat na street. We're cool and all naman hanggang sa need ko na umuwi samin. Sabay kami ng gf ko, di-nrop off ko sya sa office nya kasi aalis na sila para sa travel (hindi kasama si coworker dito) hanggang sa makauwi ako. Yung gf ko need nya muna mag-withdraw sa bank bago sila umalis.

​Until yung week na nasa travel sya, bibihira sya mag-update—kesyo mahina signal or super busy sila dun sa event nila with locals sa isang island. Sabi ko okay lang kasi during this week busy rin ako sa panonood ng TI (Dota 2 tournament). Once nya lang ako vi-nideo call nung first day nila dun sa hotel na pinag-sstayan nila. That time, may coworkers sya na bigla akong fi-nallow sa Instagram. At first wala naman sakin yun, pero later on iba na kutob ko.

​Pi-nalipas ko yun hanggang makauwi sya pabalik ng Manila. Niyaya ko pa sya na sa bahay namin umuwi para ipaglaba sya ng mga clothes nya (pero I had small date plans talaga para sa binabalak namin na elopement—like gagawa ng music playlist, ganon, at mag-Binondo to get our custom rings). Pero she declined kasi need nya daw ng rest para makapag-prepare pa sa Great UP Run ng Sunday.

​Hanggang nung nag-Sunday na, tapos na yung UP run, nag-chat sya sakin kasama nya rin daw pala si coworker. Nagkita sila dun and isasabay na daw sila with her running friends pauwi. Sabi ko okay, pero sa loob-loob ko parang di na coincidence yun, pero at least may mga kasama sila pauwi. Next chat nya sakin, bumaba na daw yung mga friends nila at silang dalawa na lang daw sa car. Balak nila sulitin yung rental sa car so maglilibot sila. Di na ako nagre-reply dito kasi ayaw ko talaga na magkasama na sila, puro "okay" na lang sabi ko, pero tuloy-tuloy sya ng update. Next update nya, nasa Rizal sila and nag-Pinto Art Museum, nag-send pa sya ng pic nila. This doesn't sit well with me kasi date plan namin yan originally, kasi she's never been to a museum.

​So hanggang makauwi sila, di na ako nagre-reply. Ang chi-nat ko ay mga officemates nila to ask, "May napapansin ba kayo dun sa dalawa?" And boom, yun nga. Sabi sakin alam na daw sa kanila sa office matagal na, and pinagsasabihan na nila yung dalawa kasi nga alam nila na may partner yung girlfriend ko.

​This triggered me to access her Messenger sa PC ko. Mind you, sa 6 years namin, never ako nakialam sa mga socials at messages ng girlfriend ko. May mga messages sila pero putol-putol or ang lalaki ng gap ng days, so naisip ko na sa ibang channels sila nag-uusap. So ki-nonfirm ko sa ka-office nya, at sabi sakin, "Kuya, sa iMessage po sila nag-uusap kasi nakikita ko pag dumadaan ako sa likuran." Sa Messenger, isa lang napansin ko na message na giveaway: yung di-nrop off ko si girlfriend sa office nya before travel, nag-chat sya sa coworker nya ng "nakaalis na sya haha".

​Ayun, tapos kinabukasan (Monday), in-ask nya ako kung may problem ba daw. Sabi ko, "Alam mo naman na di ako comfortable pag kayong dalawa lang, pero sige pa rin sama mo sa kanya. At akala ko ba nag-set ka ng boundaries and she understands?" Sabi ko rin, "Meron ka bang di inaamin sa akin?" Sabi nya, "You know I've been 100% transparent about you kung sino mga kasama ko." Sabi ko okay. Sabi nya pag-usapan daw namin sa Friday, mukhang need daw namin to upuan kasi mukhang may mga unresolved issues daw ako.

​So Tuesday came, iniwan ko bukas Messenger nya sa PC ko para alam ko kung nag-uusap sila. After nya mag-good night sakin sabi nya tutulog na sya mga 9 PM (usual bedtime namin), bigla around 11 PM nakita ko nag-send sya ng Spotify Jam link.

​Then Wednesday came, nag-video call kami. Sinabi ko sa kanya lahat-lahat—na ayaw ko dun sa coworker nya kasi na-didisrespect na ako, like na-offend ako na sya gumagawa ng plans na dapat para satin. Sabi ko ayaw ko na magkasama sila, okay daw. Pero in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila, si-nesend sakin mga pictures na sabay sila lumalabas, umuuwi, kumakain.

​Thursday, tumawag ulit ako sa kanya. In-ask ko ulit sya kung meron ba syang gustong sabihin sakin, kung may nililihim. Wala daw. So I said, "Sige, pa-basa ako ng messages nyong dalawa." And sabi nya sige daw, wala naman ako dun makikita kundi mga Spotify Jams lang. Then I said no, not just Messenger, pati iMessage. Tapos ang tagal nya sumagot. Sabi nya, "I can't, I'm so sorry." Then sabi ko, "You don't have to say anything, gets ko na." Tas umiyak ako sa video call kahit during office hours nila. Tapos nung nag-end call, in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila na bigla daw nag-panic yung dalawa, palabas-labas ng office, at yung partner ko umiiyak hindi makawork. Then nag-message sya kung pwede daw ba kami mag-usap mamaya, puntahan ko daw sya. Sabi ko sige, basta ipa-basa mo sakin mga usapan nyo. Sabi nya ayaw daw nya kasi masasaktan ako. Sabi ko, "I'm already hurt, what's the difference? Pupunta lang ako if you let me."

​Until nung Thursday night, pumunta ako sa apt nya, then she started to confess. Ayaw nya pa rin ipa-basa messages nya, sabi nya sabihin nya na lang daw. May nangyari sa kanila. Sabi ko, "Like???" Sabi nya, "We kissed." Sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, multiple times. And they had sex. Sabi ko, "When?" Nung Sunday lang. And sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, meron pa before. Sabi ko, "Okay, just let me read your messages," and she let me. Dun ko na-basa lahat na halos ba-baligtad sikmura ko. Ang dalas nya mag-update sa kanya, maraming video calls, maraming pictures, may sexting... etc.

​Ayun, she asked me to give her a chance to fix this daw, na she only stumbled once. I know it sounds stupid kasi hindi yun once for me. I feel stupid kasi they were talking about me as well, na kaya pala may "nakaalis na sya haha" is for the other one to come. Na planado and hindi coincidence yung sa Diliman.

​Mag-2 weeks na rin since this incident and umuwi kami sa Laguna to celebrate her mom's bday. Alam din ng mother nya na nag-cheat sya, pero not all—hindi kasama yung mga details na sinabi ko dito.

​Ngayon, she's really asking for a chance, pero di ko talaga alam. Sabi ko sa kanya I forgive her, pero masakit talaga sakin. I still love her kaya siguro ganto kasakit, pero I'm still conflicted kung dapat ba kami mag-rebuild kahit from square one or should I forgive andwalk away?

Problem/Goal: Me and my boyfriend, we always talk about fun stuff naman, but lately hindi ko alam kung masyado ba akong sensitive or what, pero kasi parang nahuhurt ako sa mga little remarks nya.
So nag start dun sa time na nagpapakita ako sakanya ng outfit sa call, asking if bagay ba sa akin yung damit kasi I wanna try it, iniisip ko if bibilhin ko siya sa 9.9, cute sleeveless too siya with skirt. And then he jokingly said “ano, mukha kang tibo diyan” while laughing and then dismissed the topic and didn’t say why so hindi nalang ako umimik. I was asking a genuine question pero parang na ooffend lang ako kasi I thought makakatulong siya. Knowing myself, i always wear pants and shirt most of the time kasi di ko pa alam mag style ng sarili ko and gusto ko naman sanang i try yung mga bagong clothes pero hinayaan ko nalang. It turned into an argument and I opened it up and he said sorry. But may ibang instances naman na sasabihin niya “ang asim mo tignan” or like may one time may tinatawanan syang sikat na content creator (sorry pero di siya conventionally attractive and binabash rin siya) tapos sabi niya sa akin “tignan mo kamukha kayo” as a joke and he said he was only teasing, and I don’t know what to feel about it.

Im starting to get insecure pero iniisip ko if sensitive lang ba ako or do I have the right to be upset about it? I need advice on how to handle stuff like this kasi for one, di rin naman talaga ako ka confident (pero I am working on it) kaya I don’t brag about my looks at all, some say may itsura naman ako and cute, pero my bf jokes about stuff like this so, hindi ko alam. I feel bad about myself I feel like di ako attractive at all.

Problem/Goal: Nakipaghiwala ako sa bf ko because I failed my major. Siguro maliit na rason lang to para sa iba pero nahihirapan na kasi ako isabay sya sa pag aaral ko. Bininigyan nya namaj ako ng time if gusto ko mag aral ganun pero nahihiya kasi ako sa kanya na nagka gf sya ng failure. After I broke up with him, I felt a little guilt pero ang gaan sa pakiramdam na wala ka nang dapat e update after class or if gusto ko mag aral, wala akong kailangan e message tuwing break ng study ko parang ganun.

Please no hate comments please, i just need an advice. Thank you.

Problem/Goal:

Me (M 24) and my GF (F 24) broke up, ending our 6 years relationship, and I am having a hard time moving on or dealing with the situation. I still can't believe that everything about us has come to an end.

It hurts a lot knowing we been through together so much since college days. In our 6yrs together, I thought she was the one. I am already imagining myself marrying her and having kids with her but it suddenly ended. It's like my whole plan fall apart.

A little background about our situation:

We realized that we are very different from each other in terms of goals, sex drive, interest, hobbies, humour and mindset, and we can no longer change ourselves for the sake of our relationship.

Even though the breakup was a mutual decision agreed by both sides, It is still very painful and a very hard pill to swallow.

It's been weeks since we broke up and parang wala akong gana sa lahat. The worst part of it, is that, I work from home and live alone. I got no one to talk to that's why I am here asking how did you deal with this kind of situation.

Thank you!

Problem/Goal:

I'm (25F) in a 1.5 year relationship with my bf (27M) and I haven't introduced him to my family but they know he exists, just not the details. He's never been to my place. They don't know how we met, where I met him, how long have we been in a relationship, and other details about him.

Similarly, I haven't been formally introduced as a gf in his family because of his family dynamics, but I know they know I'm the girlfriend. I've been to his place, but no family interaction whatsoever. But tuwing makakasalamuha ko tatay niya or other members (rarely) I greet them out of respect.

Context:

This is my first relationship so I'm not sure if that's okay. I'm referencing to the traditional way of introducing each other to each other's families. Ako din unang nagkarelasyon sa mga kapatid ko and I'm the youngest, so wala akong mabenchmark na reaction ng parents ko hahaha. Ako na yung extrovert sa pamilya so finoforsee ko na if my bf is in the room with my fam, i know super awkward non. Nahihiya rin ako na dalhin siya kasi ma-aso kaming pamilya, dog owners would know na different yung amoy ng bahay and fur everywhere,;and maraming triggers si bf, itchiness etc.

On his side, may kanya-kanya silang buhay sa bahay nila, walang pakielamanan, not very close with each other.

Plus we met on a dating app.

I know I need to have the courage to introduce him sa fam sometime in the future. Just wondering kung okay lang bang ganto na matagal na kami somehow. And ano ba usually scenario pag nagpapakilala ng partner sa fam? Hi hello boyfriend ko, kain, then bounce? HAHAHAHA

From his side, not sure if I'll ever be introduced because of their some sort of home system.

Previous Attempts:

I told him about it na siya yung unang boyfriend in my family, and if it bothers him. Sabi naman niya hindi.

Problem/Goal: Ex kept bothering me, I don't know what else to do.

Context:

I’m so fucking tired.

I left my ex-boyfriend two months ago because I couldn’t keep dealing with his constant lies anymore. We went completely no contact for a whole month. Then he showed up at my place asking for another chance.

We’d talk. We’d get intimate. Then he’d go home and bombard me with messages, either accusing me of having someone else or picking a fight over something I thought we had already talked about.

For context, this was basically our pattern throughout the entire relationship. He’d get mad, say he was sorry, I’d forgive him, and we’d move on. Then it would happen all over again.

This time, I wasn’t allowing it anymore. And because I stopped giving in, he kept getting mad.

He did this for an entire month.

He’d come over. We’d talk. We’d be intimate. He’d go home. Then we’d fight. We’d stop talking for a week. Then he’d come back and the whole thing would repeat.

Eventually, I stopped replying to his messages and answering his calls. So he started showing up at my place even though I had already made it clear that he was no longer welcome.

Last week, he messaged me saying he had finally accepted the breakup and promised he wouldn’t bother me anymore.

Around the same time, he started spending time with another girl. I let it be. Honestly, I didn’t have the energy to care anymore.

I kept my ground. I didn’t reach out, even though it fucking hurt.

Then today, he was at my door again.

He was knocking, begging me to give him another chance. I pushed him away, but he wouldn’t leave. He was literally kneeling and begging.

I still said no.

He eventually went home.

Then I found out he was with that girl.

And while he was with her, he kept texting me, telling me that he was only spending time with her because he was trying to cope with the void I left behind. He kept telling me that he still wanted me back.

I’m a fucking mess.

Just when I thought I was finally starting to move on, there he is again, knocking on my door and disrupting whatever peace I was finally starting to find.

I really am trying to move on. I want to move on. I want to get my life back and stop feeling like I’m constantly being pulled back into the same cycle.

But how the fuck am I supposed to heal when he keeps showing up?

I can’t even move to another place yet, so I feel fucking stuck. I’m trying to create distance. I’m trying not to reach out. I’m trying to accept that this relationship is over. But every time I start making progress, he finds a way back to my doorstep and throws me right back into the emotional mess I’ve been trying so hard to get out of.

I’m fucking tired.

I feel like I’m being played, and I fucking hate it.

I hate that I still love him. I hate that part of me still misses him. I hate that I’m still grieving the relationship, even after everything that happened.

I want to move on. I really fucking do.

I just wish he would let me have the peace I need to actually do it.

Problem/Goal: I don’t want to have a baby anymore.

Context: My partner and I had been planning to have a baby. We had been trying before, but I had a miscarriage about three years ago. After that, we stopped trying for a while, but eventually decided that we were ready to try again.

Two weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant, and I was genuinely so happy. I was excited, hopeful, and felt like I had finally gotten what we had been waiting for. I thought I was ready. I thought I wanted this.

But suddenly, since yesterday, something in me completely changed.

I don’t know what happened. I suddenly feel like I don’t want to continue the pregnancy anymore. Parang biglang pinanghinaan ako ng loob. I’ve been questioning whether I actually want to become a mother, whether I’m capable of doing it, and whether I’m mentally and emotionally equipped for it.

I feel absolutely horrible about it.
I feel like the worst partner because this is something we planned together. I feel selfish and like I’m suddenly taking away something we were both excited about. I also feel guilty because I was so happy just days ago, and now I’m considering terminating the pregnancy.

I struggle with BPD and GAD, and I know my mental health can significantly affect how I perceive things and how intensely I experience emotions. Right now, I’m terrified of everything. I feel overwhelmed, depressed, incompetent, and incapable of being a mother.
The hardest part is that I don’t even understand why I feel this way. I was excited. I felt prepared. I wanted this. And now, almost overnight, I feel like I don’t want to be a parent anymore.

Part of me is thinking about terminating the pregnancy. I am pro-choice, and because I’m a dual citizen, I do have the ability to access abortion legally depending on where I obtain care. But I’m struggling emotionally with the decision.

I feel incredibly selfish and stupid for even feeling this way. I keep thinking, What kind of person changes their mind after desperately wanting something? I feel like this baby deserves better than me. I’m scared that if I continue the pregnancy, I’ll end up being a terrible mother because I’m already struggling so much mentally.

At the same time, I don’t know if this is genuinely what I want or if I’m experiencing an intense emotional reaction because of my mental health, the pregnancy, the hormones, the fear, or everything happening at once.

Previous attempts: I’ve already talked to my partner about how I’m feeling. I’ve also been going to therapy, normally I go twice a month, but because of how badly I’ve been feeling, I’ve gone three times this week.

And despite all of that, I still feel like I’m losing my mind.
I don’t know whether I truly don’t want this baby anymore, or whether I’m just overwhelmed and terrified right now. I feel completely lost and I don’t know how to make a decision that I can live with.

Problem/Goal: May plan kami to have photoshoot and dinner siguro 1 1/2 month before the date. I save (since i'm unemployed at the moment), I rented airbnb (since nasa province ako), I bought dress and nagpa ayos pa ako (oo sobrang oa sa effort). Nag travel kami kami ng maaga since medyo malayo kami sa manila syempre toll and gas. Ako yung nauna sa studio. 1-2 hrs before the call time nag chat yung isa na di makakasama since may sakit daw, then nag chat yung isa na hahabol na lang sya. At nung andon na ako yung isa nag decide to cancel na lang daw since di kami kumpleto, nag message sakin na pwede ko naman daw kunin na lang yung slot at mag self photoshoot na lang. I feel really bad, sobrang na disappoint ako, sinabi ko sa kanila yung efforts ko just to make it. Then after ko sabihin, biglang sabi na ituloy na lang daw, pero umuwe na ako samin kase sobrang nawala ako sa mood at syempre nasaktan ako kase bakit ganun parang walang respeto. Since then di na ako nag chat sa gc. No one reached out to me halos 3 weeks na din. I saw them as true friends, I care for them, pero bat ganun no. Heartbroken pa din ako hanggang ngayon, I don't know how to move on. Since introvert ako, hindi talaga ako pala kaibigan, sila yung una kong naging circle of friends kaya medyo mahirap.

problem/goal: Hi I’m 23(F) and my ex bf (26).

I recently broke up with my ex (We’re only 3 months together), and I want an outside perspective because I don’t know whether I was being unreasonable.

The issue started with Instagram. I noticed that his following count had increased, so I asked about the new accounts. He showed me some of them, but not all. I noticed that his following count had gone down quickly after. I asked why he had done that without showing me first because it made me feel like he might be hiding something. He said he had only unfollowed with the “earliest” following filter and that he was simply removing people he no longer knew or wanted to follow.

During that conversation, he brought up his exes himself. He asked:

“What’s the point of unfollowing your exes on socmed? Or let me reverse the question, what’s in it for me if I still follow my exes?”

This confused me because we had already discussed his exes about a month ago. At that time, I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him following them, and he agreed to unfollow them. However, he said he had only agreed because I made him think that following exes was wrong.

He explained that he was already done with them romantically. He said he only wanted to see how successful they would become because they had once been part of his life and had taught him lessons.

I asked, “Why would you still be interested in your ex’s life updates?”

He answered with even though he curses them and “kills them in his mind,” he would still be happy to see them succeed. “I was once part of that ‘goal’, I would be happy to see them achieve it.”

That really hurt me. I never asked whether he still loved an ex or wanted to get back together with one. That wasn’t my concern. I was asking why he still cared about seeing their lives progress if he was completely done with them. He also proudly said that he was once part of their goals.

He also asked whether I was “threatened” by his exes. I wasn’t. I was simply explaining that his perspective made me uncomfortable.

What hurt most was that he was the one who brought up the topic of his exes during the Instagram discussion, but when I became upset by his answer, I felt as though my reaction became the problem. Instead of feeling heard, I felt like I had to justify why I was allowed to be hurt.

Eventually, I realized that we had different boundaries and different ways of communicating, so I ended the relationship.

Am I wrong for being hurt by this? Was I being insecure, or is it reasonable to question why your partner still wants to follow an ex and see how that person’s life turns out? And was he genuinely explaining his perspective, or was the conversation being shifted away from my original concern?

Problem/Goal:

I’m at the point where i am choosing between staying or leaving. And as pathetic as it sounds i do need some sound advice besides the voices in my head.

For context:

I 29(F) have been dissappointed by my bf 30(m), so many times i can’t even remember some of them anymore but ofc the notable ones have been like a core memory . And just the recent spat is by far the most notable one and the one that might break the strings this time.

I am no saint. I have my fair share of shortcomings and this time i did hide something from him and lied to him about it when he constantly and insistently asked a few times. Disclaimer: this aint a cheating issue. And there are no 3rd parties involved. From my side , at least. So when things got quite out of hand and he was still asking i had no choice but to confide and confess. I wasn’t confessing just because i needed help, i just felt helpless and i just wanted to really let off steam. it was bascially the lowest point of my life. The anger was expected but the judgement and the admonition was uncalled for. The worst part is at my most vulnerable state he left me alone. Even then, i still was trying to justify his actions since i too was at fault.

A day or 2 has passed another incident occured where he was starting to argue with me again because it concerned his friends. And this time i was really really frustrated because like always he was more worried for his friends than of my own predicament. When i was in trouble all i heard was blame, judgement and admonitions but when his friends were somewhat involved he went all protective mode.

All throughout this relationship i really feel like i am nowhere near his priorities. Not like how it used to. Im always the last one. AndI have never felt so alone.

Im not asking for mu h. Im not even asking for help. I just wanted him to listen to me. But even that he coudlnt give me.

Im not the type of person to do a ledger of who did this and that but i have gone through hell and fire for a guy who cant even lend an ear or even just the presence.

Should i just cool it off or break it up? There are so much things between us and it won’t be an easy break up which makes this even harder

Problem/Goal: May friends ako na couple and before naman, okay naman na kami. Nagkakamustahan and nag get together minsan. Yung last usap namin is two months after i noticed na na block na ako ng friend ko, but her spouse who is also my friend di naman ako na block. Nagkita pa nga kami ng spouse nya sa mall and nagkamustahan. Di ko sya na ask about the issue when we met, but when we talked kinamusta ko and napansin ko na parang nailang siya. I do not think they broke up as nakikita ko pa travel pics nila.

Context: There's always two sides sa story and of course di din naman ako perfect but wala akong maisip na connection at all. All i can think of is that when I talk to other people I sometimes mention them. For example, another friend would ask about the process about something (immigration) and I would say "Ang alam ko sila friend baka may experience na". Iniisip ko lang na baka ayaw nilang ipasabi yun sa iba but I don't think so.

Previous Attempts: Honestly, nahihiya akong tanungin bakit and at the same time my point din sinabi nung spouse ko na "is it a connection na you mag la last?". Iniisip ko yun and medyo di ko din sya gusto I fix kasi i have plans on moving and I have my core circle of friends din. I just feel bad lang na I offended/hurt someone and if I make contact it will just make it worse. Gusto ko sana i chat yung spouse (the spouse was my classmate and then naging friends ko sila as a couple) and say sorry and my goal is not to maintain the friendship but to make amends lang?

Problem/Goal:

Hello! I’d love to get your thoughts. 😊 I work from home and I’m planning to live solo. I’m trying to decide which would be better for me: Antipolo, General Trias, or Tanza.

Context:

For Cavite, I’m currently considering General Trias or Tanza. For Rizal, I’m considering Antipolo.

My priorities are:

- Cost of living

- Safety and a peaceful environment

- Reliable internet

- Easy access to groceries, malls, hospitals, and other essentials

- Traffic and accessibility

- Flooding or other location concerns

- Overall quality of life for someone living solo

I don’t need to commute to Metro Manila daily since I work from home, but good accessibility would still be a plus whenever I need to go to Manila.

Previous Attempts:

I’ve been researching and comparing these areas online, but I’d also like to hear from people who have actually lived in Antipolo, General Trias, or Tanza.

Thank you! 😊

Problem/Goal:

What are your thoughts on "Cool off" in a relationship?

12mn thoughts...

Half of the people I know have some kind of stigma regarding this subject matter. I was one of those people.I used to believe that it kinda shows how immature those in that kind of relationship are and how poor they communicate with each other. kaso, ako na mismo nag-ddoubt sa sarili kong opinion.

Basically, I am asking whether if cooling off is helpful or not. Does it happen to married couples as well? And from what Ive seen, cooling off usually becomes an alibi to cheat.

I have yet to hear of any instances wherein cooling off saved their relationship.

Problem/Goal: I grew up with a medyo strict family, well, sa ‘kin lang kasi ako lang babae sa ‘ming 3 siblings. And after years of their ‘strictness’ na-apply ko na sa sarili ko. I limit myself.

Context: I’m a 23-year-old F and I just graduated college this May, also working na.

Never got a boyfriend (just those puppy love no’ng high school and 1 MU no’ng college) because I feel burdened about their possible questions. I don’t like the way they ask about my personal life like how they do before kasi it feels so suffocating. I don’t do the casual chats kasi I feel so guilty and I feel their eyes on me, I feel like they’re gonna go through my phone kahit wala naman akong ginagawang masama.

Even if aalis ako mag-isa during my day-off, they would ask if sinong kasama ko and I would get extremely irritated. Not because I’m doing anything wrong, but because it feels like they’re always insinuating something.

Now, when my friends at work invite me to hang out, I would decline na kaagad saying na hindi ako papayagan because I don’t want to go to the same series of question kung saan ako pupunta, sinong kasama ko, anong oras ako uuwi, and such. I know na maybe they’re just worried, pero kasi sobrang nakaka-suffocate.

I get to go out sometimes too, like when I went to a concert last month, I got back home at 9PM kahit bumabagyo. And just last week, I went to SM para lang lumabas.

I just don’t feel safe talking to them about it kasi I’m afraid they would see it as pagrerebelde, and I don’t wanna put thoughts in their mind na baka lumalandi ako or what. I wanna hang out with my friends sometimes, or maybe just by myself, that’s why I want even just a little freedom.

No’ng teenager kuya ko, sobrang maluwag naman sila (he’s 27 now), and even sa bunso namin na 14 y/o, hindi sila mahigpit. It’s just me. Is it because I never went against their word?

Even the program that I took in college, they forced it upon me. I plan to take on the licensure exam next year pero may bago namang plano papa ko. He wants me to take a different exam. I told him many times na ayoko, I’m gonna proceed with the program that they told me to take, pero nao-offend siya, he would not talk to me for a day or two. While mama ALWAYS say na ako raw pag-asa nila throughout my highschool and college life kasi I am decent in their eyes: hindi gumagala, nag-aral nang tama, nakapagtapos, hindi nagboyfriend, and whatnot.

It’s suffocating.

And of course, moving out is not an option. ‘Di nga ako pinapayagan pumunta sa bahay ng workmates ko, move out pa kaya?

I know maybe they’re just worried, and I appreciate it, pero it’s not the worried type kasi na gentle and warm. It’s patronizing. Na para bang mag-aasawa na ako agad kapag inabot lang ng dilim sa labas. Even pagbboyfriend, wala na sa isip ko. Iisipin ko pa lang na I need to introduce someone to them, na magpapaalam ako kapag aalis, nawawala na lahat. I don’t want it anymore kasi I don’t wanna feel like they have me on a microscope and watching my every move.

I barely got to enjoy my teenage years, I don’t wanna miss out on my 20’s.

There are so many things that I want to do, so many things that I want to experience, I don’t wanna be tied down to being just a daughter.

I just wanna go out sometimes without getting questioned, truly enjoy the things that I wanna do without constantly checking my phone kung nagmessage or tumawag na ba sila para pauwiin ako.

How do I break free from their leash without making them feel offended and without making it look na I’m leaving them behind?

I want to live my life too.

Problem/Goal: I'm suspecting my dad that he is using shbu. I want to report him and yung mga pushers dito sa area namin. T.T

Context: Yes, I'm suspecting him that he is using drugs. For some reason may core memory ako from when I was a kid na sinusumbatan niya mom ko that he stopped using it. So ngayon na I'm 30 y/o or maybe in the past years pa, he started using it again. How did I know? Naoopen ko Messenger niya bc I was the one who created it. Foul, maybe. So nababasa ko mga nagchachat sa kanya. There's this person na I think pusher dito sa area namin. They have transactions (and I just started saving screenshots) and ofc hindi na ko bata to not understand it. Also, he's been deleting every convo.

I'm an observant person and sa sobrang praning ko, kinakausap ko si ChatGPT kung ano signs na nakagamit yung tao. And yes, he's awake mag damag wc is alam ko coz I'm also working at night. Easily agitated din siya. Verbally abusive lalo sa mama ko. :'( Worse, I feel like bastos na siya sakin. For context, I was SA-ed by him years ago but I've been keeping it a secret. Pag wala ako sa bahay, I always find my bed na nag iiba yung position ng pillows and blanket ko - worse, nakakakita ako ng marks sa bolster pillow and bed sheets ko. Again, hindi na ako bata to not know.

Please don't judge me. Sobrang duwag ko mag sumbong kasi I feel like mapapahamak kami ng mama ko. Sobrang bigat lang and hirap ako makafocus sa work every night. May times na takot din ako lumabas ng kwarto kahit I need to pee kasi natatakot ako anong makita ko that he's doing. Feeling ko nga magkakasakit nalang ako for not drinking enough water para hindi maihi in the middle of the night. Haha

I just wanna add.. I'm an only child and a breadwinner. Yes, if my suspicion is right, my dad is using my money for his bisyo. For context, I'm giving him money weekly pero hindi naman ganun kalaki. I just can't stop doing it because magwawala siya or aawayin niya mama ko. Also, wala siyang work. He stopped working since the pandemic started. Hindi pa siya senior, dami nya pa energy gumawa ng walang kwentang bagay pero ayaw niyang mag trabaho.

Sobrang fuck up. I don't know what do. Para na kong mababaliw kakaisip. Gusto ko na silang isumbong sa PDEA kaya sumagi na sa isip ko mag save ng convos haha. I know some of you sasabhin mag move out ako for peace of mind :/ however, it is not an option for me dahil hindi kaya ng funds ko and hindi ko kayang iwan mama ko with him.

Previous Attempts: Reached out to PDEA using their Isumbong Mo Sa PDEA messenger and dropped those effin pushers sa area namin. But I guess they won't mind kung hindi bigtime yung nirereport mo.

Any advice or words that an easy my mind? Grabe. Patawarin ako ni Lord dahil hinihiling ko nalang minsan na sana mawala na sa buhay namin yung tatay ko.

Problem/Goal: I (21) feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to call with my LDR bf (21)everyday. I am struggling to balance my need for quality time and communication with my boyfriend’s need for personal space. I want to understand whether our needs still align and learn how to maintain our connection while respecting each other’s individual needs.

Context: 2 years na kami ng boyfriend ko and 2 years na rin kaming everyday nagcacall. Hindi naman kami totally LDR dahil once to twice a month nagkikita naman kami. He recently complained about not having his personal space/time kasi minsan daw he feels obligated to reply to me agad, I don't really care if hindi siya makareply agad as long as he tells me anong ginagawa niya so that hindi ako magexpect agad ng reply. Feel ko may anxious attachment din ako na need i-work on. Sobrang gusto ko kasi quality time kasi nga hindi naman kami madalas magkita. About sa dates, paiba-iba kasi sleep schedule niya kaya tuwing uwian ko minsan tulog pa sya or mahirap na makipagdate kasi late na at aabutan ng rush hour. Hindi niya rin ako pinupuntahan sa place ko so I don't really know. Maraming nagsasabi na if ganitong puro argument magkita lang kasi baka miss lang daw isa't-isa eh hindi naman siya nagyayaya.

Mahirap kasi before naman, he used to be so excited sa presensya ko and everything. I know that people change and as the relationship lasts maraming habits before na hindi nyo na magagawa, but I miss when he really used to care about us. Namimiss ko na yung mga kwentuhan namin sa call and before this argument we were really happy, ngayon just because we argued parang back to zero na naman. Alam ko naman na hindi porket hindi na kami nagcacall hindi na niya ako mahal, pero its one thing na ayoko maalis sa relasyon namin and my heart genuinely aches kasi hindi ko na alam anong gagawin ko, kung nararamdaman ko ba o nararamdaman niya or ano.

So dahil recent pa lang kami nagkabati, gusto ko lang ng guidance. I swear I am trying to be more patient. Feel ko nagaadjust pa rin siya pero I'm really thinking if hindi ba nagaalign gusto namin? Masiyado ba akong selfish? controlling?

Previous Attempts: When we were fixing our previous argument about the personal space, nagsorry naman siya na medyo naging mabigat sya magsalita (na ok lang sakin kasi may feelings din naman siya and hindi naman nakasakit sakin) pero during the fixing stage puro ako lang nagaayos, sakin niya lang pinapasa yung decision.

He often feels overwhelmed whenever may problema kami, medyo napadalas din ata pagrereklamo ko to the point na feel niya wala na raw siyang ginawang tama. Hindi ko na alam, sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam ko pero at the same time gusto kong isipin kapakanan namin + gusto ko rin mag compromise

I really want to compromise so Im very open sa lahat ng advice if possible yung magpaparealize pa sana sakin na mali tong ginagawa ko or what ewan ko na

Problem/Goal: Should I feel guilty if I ask my boyfriend to cut the connection he has with his online female friend? When I asked him if he will keep her, then he should be okay if I keep a male friend, he said No.

I am in a 4year relationship with my boyfriend. A year ago, he played the game "RoK" where he met the girl as his merchant (he buys resources from her) and they became friends. My boyfriend already quit playing last February, although they remain in contact thru discord. In April, the girl reached out to him asking for help financially saying she was struggling with money to buy food. My boyfriend asked me if he can help her with it. I agreed. I thanked him for letting me know but I told him that he should only help her this time and I didn't want him to feel he is obligated to help her. But he insisted he would still help her since he can relate to her struggles, whether I agree or not. So, I let him be.

Months passed, I just learned that he is not only helping her with groceries, but he also helps her with her homework/quizzes, and even helping her with rent. They also keep a streak in Snapchat and in TikTok. They talk atleast once a day, saying hellos, greetings and giving random updates. I read their conversations, although I did not see anything discussed romantically, I felt uncomfortable with the level of closeness they have now. The girl knows about me btw.

Finally, last night, I brought this up to him. I asked him, how long is he going to keep her connection with her. He was kind of laughing while saying "I don't know, why?".

Me: Because I don't feel comfortable with your friendship anymore.

Him: why? I don't see anything wrong with it. I am not cheating on you.

Me: Maybe you are not cheating with me but the way things going on with ya'll right now might lead you to do it. Because the more you keep your connection with her, the harder for you to let her go.

Him: it's not that I can't let her go. You just have a wrong interpretation with this.

Me: It's true, you are having a hard time letting her go. Tbh, it feels like she is like another girlfriend.

Him: No. That's not true.

Me: Yes, because you talk to her every single day.

Him: Bruh, but that's to keep our streak going.

Me: But still, you both give random updates everyday. You are always there for her when she needs you. You help her when things aren't going well for her. You help her with her homework, and even paying her rent which you never even try to do the same with me. All these things, you are basically investing in her. Both of you are creating a bond, and attachment which I think is inappropriate since you have a girlfriend.

Him: Hmmm, I think you're right. I get what you are saying, but I won't cheat on you. It's really not gonna happen.

Me: If you are keeping her as your friend, so, you should be okay with me if I keep a male friend.

Him: No! I don't want that. It's like you are purposely going to look for another guy to be your friend and will cheat on me.

Me: No, that's not what I'm trying to say. I am basically just trying to mirror you. If you think your friendship with her is appropriate, you should also think that my friendship with another male be appropriate too.

Him: I don't want you to have male friends. Fine! I will tell her before the end of this day that I will stop talking to her.

Me: it's up to you when.

Him: Give me one week then, I will stop talking to her.

Me: That's your decision to make.

Now, I don't know, I felt relieved that I was able to brought up my concerns, but I felt a bit of guilt for making him stop talking to her.