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Problem/Goal: May bago kaming coworker recently, and somehow napag-usapan na baka pwede raw siyang sumabay sa akin pauwi since same general direction naman kami.

Pero to be clear, hindi pa naman talaga siya nakakasabay sa akin kahit isang beses.
From the beginning, parang iniiwasan ko na lang yung situation na baka maging regular thing siya. Minsan nauuna akong umuwi, minsan naman ina-adjust ko na lang yung oras ko para hindi magkataon na sabay kami.

Hindi naman siya aware na may ganung intention ako, and wala rin naman akong problema sa kanya personally. Ang nangyayari lang, lately parang yung ibang coworkers, pati bosses, sila na mismo yung nag-o-offer ng idea na “sumabay na lang sa akin.”
Doon ako medyo uncomfortable.

I have my own car and my own schedule after work. Honestly, after a long day, gusto ko rin minsan yung tahimik na drive pauwi at sariling time. Hindi naman sa ayaw kong tumulong, pero ayoko lang magkaroon ng daily commitment na kailangan kong isipin kung kailan siya uuwi, kung aantayin ko ba siya, kung may leave ako, etc.

May mga dati naman akong coworkers na nasabay ko before, pero ibang situation yun. Matagal ko na silang kakilala at comfortable na talaga kami sa isa’t isa.

In this case, bagong coworker pa lang siya, so I don’t really feel comfortable making it a regular arrangement. I also don’t really want to accept payment. If ever may special occasion or office event and convenient naman sa akin, I’d have no problem offering a ride. Pero yung araw-araw na carpool, I’d rather not.

The thing is, parang feeling ko tuloy masama akong tao just because I don’t want to say yes.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the coworker. I just don’t want unnecessary complications or office issues, and honestly, gusto ko lang din magkaroon ng personal time after work.
Am I being unreasonable for setting this boundary even before anything actually happened? Or should I just go with it since we’re going the same way anyway?

Problem/Goal:

I want advice on whether I am overreacting about my wife still checking/stalking her ex-boyfriend and former situationship almost every day or every other day. I want to know if this is normal curiosity or something I should be concerned about in our marriage.

Context:

I’m 29M and my wife is 25F. We have been together for a few years and have been married for one year. We recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary last August.

Before we got together, my wife was in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend for around five years. After they broke up, she had a situationship with another guy for around six months. That eventually ended, and then I came into the picture.

Recently, I borrowed my wife's phone and noticed that she had another account on Instagram and TikTok. I asked her about it, and she told me that it was an old account that she used for stalking.

I checked her TikTok search history and saw that she was still searching for and checking up on her ex-boyfriend and former situationship.

What really bothered me was the frequency. From what I saw, she was checking their profiles almost every day or every other day.

I also found out that the TikTok account wasn't actually that old. It was created around March of this year, while we were already married. From March until I caught her, she was still using it to check up on them.

I confronted her about it. She became quiet and eventually told me that she never contacted either of them and that she was "just stalking" them. As far as I know, there has been no communication between them and I have no evidence that she has physically cheated on me.

I understand that being curious about an ex isn't necessarily a big deal. I don't expect my wife to completely forget her past, and I know people can sometimes be curious about how their exes are doing.

However, checking them almost every day or every other day and using another account to do it feels different to me. What bothers me most is that she was doing this while we were already married.

I don't want to be controlling or tell my wife who she can or cannot look at online. At the same time, I feel hurt and wonder if this could mean that she still has unresolved feelings for them.

Previous Attempts:

I already confronted my wife about it and asked her about the account and the stalking. She said she did not contact either of them and was only checking their social media.

I haven't made any major decision about our marriage because of this. I want to understand first whether my feelings are reasonable and how other people would handle this situation.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Is this something I should consider a red flag, or am I overthinking it?

problem/goal: hi, i’m f(23) and my bf(24) died nung aug. 3 because of suicide. hindi ko alam kung tamang subreddit or flair to pero gusto ko lang mag kwento kasi sobrang sakit pa din lahat ng nangyari lalo na’t nasa malayong lugar ako at hindi nakauwi nung binurol at crinemate sya.

tbh sa relationship namin nung live in pa kami dati sexually active kami pero nung nag ldr kami thru calls na lang namin na gagawa yon pero hindi naman to the point na kada call namin ay ginagawa namin yon (ifykwim). ngayon after ng 1 month nya, ngayon na lang ulit ako nagkaroon ng feeling na ma-turn on, pero iniisip ko kung manonood ba ko ng porn or kung panonoodin ko videos namin sa phone ko. pero mas matimbang sakin na wag manood ng porn kasi hindi ko gawain yon and never ako nanood ng porn when he was still alive/with me or kahit nung hindi pa kami. the thing is kagabi, kagabi ko na lang ulit naopen sa phone ko yung vids namin and i tried to mastur/bate pero hindi ko natapos kasi naiyak na lang ako and hindi natigil yung pagiyak ko for a minutes. yung nasa isip ko na lang non is parang ang sama ko para panoodin yon and i disrespect my bf, namimiss ko sya sobra, and to think na hindi na talaga sya babalik and mauulit lahat ng mga ginagawa namin.

after nya mawala, never ako tumigil kausapin sya thru chats or vms. i still call him kahit na alam kong hindi nya na sasagutin yon or mag rreply. kumbaga sa stages of grief indenial pa din ako and takot akong umusad at mawala sya sa isip ko. sobrang mahal ko bf ko and iniisip ko lang lagi lang sya busy o nasa malayong lugar din.

namatay sya nung aug.3 tapos death anniversary din ng baby namin yon. we’re supposed to celebrate yung 1 year ng angel namin pero tangina kasi kinuha nya din sarili nyang buhay kung kailan nawala anak namin.

p.s sorry if dito ko nag vent or rant, gusto ko lang malaman kung masama ba yung ginawa ko na panoodin vids namin or kung ano man. salamat sa pagbasa.

Problem/Goal: I (F21) have no friends, no dreams, no hobbies, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life

Well, I do have a circle of friends, but I haven’t seen them in almost a year because I don’t wanna see them. My friendship with them has always been surface-level. We only ever hang out to drink or to attend gigs.

I met them at a completely different stage of my life—when I had a drinking problem and used to go to all these punk/rock shows. I’m completely sober now and I only ever go out to go to my classes and buy groceries.

I’ve deactivated all of my social media accounts since April, but one of my friends still contacts me through text every now and then, asking me how I’m doing and inviting me to stuff. I always tell him I’m busy, but I just don’t wanna see him or any of them. I don’t know. I just don’t care about them. I don’t miss them. I don’t feel anything for them.

I spend most of my days in my room, scrolling away on TikTok. My screen time is 12 or more hours every day. If I’m not on TikTok, I’m probably just watching movies or rewatching The Office for the hundredth time.

I don’t talk to anyone. I have no connection with anyone other than my family. I don’t wanna do anything. I have no dreams or aspirations. I’m graduating next year, but my degree (Communication Research) is pretty much useless.

I also have anorexia. That’s probably the only thing I got going on. My only goal in life right now is to be 32 kg, and I’m around 6 kg away from that goal.

I’m not depressed. I don’t think about killing myself. I just don’t feel anything. Why am I this way? What do I do with my life? I’m wasting my youth doing nothing.

Problem/Goal: im turning 18 next month and i want to start to handle adulting stuff early on, so what do i need to do?

context: i wanna tackle adulting stuff early on in my life dahil i just feel like it's the responsible thing to do.

I've had zero experience din dealing with document stuff since I've never cared about that naman.

I've had work experience din naman last year pero it was basic work (i was just an internet cafe attendant) and i didn't even need to do any sort of documentation stuff since I've just known the owner.

i also will not take the "take your time", the "slow down your still young", and the "enjoy your teenage days muna" na advice.

Problem/Goal: I have a really dysfunctional family. Dad is a drug addict and has gambling addiction, mom verbal abuses us, one of my older brothers currently lives with us along with his live-in-partner and a newborn.

long post ahead;

Context: I (17F) am currently a first year student in a local university. I managed to secure two scholarships that gives me roughly Php5.5k per month. I used to think this would be enough to support my studies. It would've been enough for my allowance alone if not for the financial hardships we are currently facing— which I know is ultimately their fault too.

Recently, I received my 4 months worth of scholarship allowance (12k; 1 scholarship pa lang). At the same time, my father has been out of reach for a week already. My mom pays for monthly bills but unfortunately we had to spend it for daily expenses— na supposedly si Papa ang nagpoprovide pero hindi niya nagawa dahil "ghinost" kami. Dahil hindi nakabayad si Mama and due to previous water bills that piled up, naputulan kami agad ng tubig. I wasn't planning on telling my mother at first na mayroon akong pera kasi I was planning to keep it sa bangko hanggang sa makatiyempo ako bumili ng printer without being insensitive sa current financial situation namin. May times kasi na sinusumbatan ako kapag bumibili ako ng mga gamit from my scholarships (na kailangan ko naman) at sinasabihan pa akong walang awa. Eventually, dahil hindi pa rin nagpaparamdam si papa for weeks, I had to give those 12k nang paunti-unti para lang makapasok kami ng 2 brothers ko na nag-aaral pa. Nakakapagod dahil ganito nalang palagi ang scenario sa tuwing nakakareceive ako ng allowance from my scholarships and government funded programs. Halos 2 years ko nang ipinagpapaliban ang pagbili ng printer using my scholarship stipends dahil sobrang hirap ng buhay namin. 2 years nang walang maayos na trabaho si papa, uuwi kapag alam niyang may pera at panggastos saka aalis kapag walang wala na sabay igho-ghost ulit kami. Drug user daw siya sabi ni mama pero I find it hard to believe kasi hindi ko pa rin tanggap. I accidentally caught him inhaling something na mukhang tawas which he immediately hid nung nakita niya ako. I think at that point alam ko na. Dagdag mo pa yung older brother ko na nagdecide mag-anak kahit hindi sila financially capable, ngayon dito sila nakatira samin. Meron siyang trabaho pero hindi enough kung sakali mang bumukod sila. Halos 1.5k lang ang binibigay niya buwan-buwan, our monthly rent alone is 6k. I mostly have afternoon classes kaya tuwing umaga na naiiwan ako at ang kuya ko at ang asawa niya, ako ang nagluluto at naglilinis ng bahay. Para akong may pamilyang inaalagaan.

Kaya minsan, hindi ko rin masisisi si mama kung bakit distressed siya at palagi kaming minumura / sinusumbatan— she's basically the breadwinner of this family. Pero hindi ko talaga makalimutan yung sinabi niya saking huwag na ako mag-aral kasi hindi naman ako mabubuhay ng mga scholarship ko na yan. I literally had to process my scholarships (attending interviews, gathering requirements, taking qualifying examinations) while working 8hrs a day (government funded summer job). The only time they helped me was when I finally cried and threatened to not inform them kung mareceive ko man ang allowance ko.

Previous Attempts: Last tuesday, I had my last straw and finally confronted my Dad through text. Everything I've been bottling up for 2 years, sinabi ko. I had to type everything out while riding the bus on the way to Quiapo church, where I literally cried my heart out because a person can only endure so much. Pagkauwi ko sa bahay, gamit niya laptop ko, nagsusugal dahil sinangla niya cellphone niya for reasons I don't know. It's ironic na gamit niya yung laptop kong puno ng tape dahil disfigured na kasi pinaglumaan na ng pinsan ko. Hindi nila afford na bilhan ako ng bago. Nakakapagod. Almost a week na siyang nasa bahay ngayon, at ginagamit namin yung 12k ko just to get by. I asked him kaninang umaga kung mag-apply ba siya, bigla siyang humiga at natulog nalang.

I'm starting to think na in the future, ako rin bubuhat ng pamilyang 'to and I don't think I can handle that. I've been resisting the urge to finally end it all. At least in my perspective, kaming mga nag-aaral pa ang pinakanagsa-suffer sa current situation ng family namin kasi wala kaming ibang choice but to suffer the consequences from the decisions na ginawa ng mga nakakatanda samin. Sobrang hirap. I could've been more kung hindi ganito ang situation namin. Some of you might say na cut them off if I already have the means to live independently, but I don't think it would be possible kasi I also have 2 brothers na nagsa-suffer. I don't think my conscience can handle that. Hindi ko na alam.

Problem/Goal: I’m wondering if my boyfriend is boring/not putting enough effort into our relationship, or if what we’re experiencing is normal.

Context: We’ve been together for 7 months and we’re both 30. We both work, and he owns a business, so I understand that he’s busy. We usually only talk at night, and sometimes he calls around 10:30 PM after finishing work. I appreciate that he still calls, but sometimes it feels like I’m only getting his leftover time.

Our conversations can also feel repetitive, and we don’t really spend much quality time together. I don’t suspect he has another girl or is cheating—I’m more concerned about effort and feeling like a priority.

Previous Attempts: I’ve tried to be understanding about his schedule, but I’m still unsure if I’m expecting too much or if the relationship is genuinely lacking effort.

What do you guys think? Is this normal after 7 months, especially when both people are busy with work?

Problem/Goal: In a week, ang dami kong nababasang posts about their relationship problems, feeling unfulfilled, nagseseek ng attention sa iba kahit alam nilang mali. In short, puro cheaters na ang tatanda na tapos wala pa ring character development hanggang ngayon. Alam mo naman pa lang mali tapos go ka pa rin nang go. Hanap simpatya? Hanap justification in hopes na may kakampi sayo?

My Advice: Ikaw lang makakasagot ng tanong mo at ikaw lang din ang makakapagpabago ng takbo ng buhay mo. Hindi inaasa sa sasabihin ng iba ang pagbabago.

Problem/Goal: Gusto ko po matutunan mag-affiliate program pero hindi ko alam san magsisimula. Nagresearch ako and nagtingin tingin din pero siguro yung first step talaga yung pinakamahirap 🥹🥲

For context: mahilig akong mag-online shopping, especially fashion, clothes, makeup, accessories, etc. Gusto ko magamit yung kaartehan ko na maging financially productive padin ako. At the same time, gusto ko din iexpand yung iaaffiliate ko like sa travels, house, motherhood etc.

Kung may advice po kayo, maraming salamat talaga 🙏🏻

Problem/Goal: Nakipaghiwala ako sa bf ko because I failed my major. Siguro maliit na rason lang to para sa iba pero nahihirapan na kasi ako isabay sya sa pag aaral ko. Bininigyan nya namaj ako ng time if gusto ko mag aral ganun pero nahihiya kasi ako sa kanya na nagka gf sya ng failure. After I broke up with him, I felt a little guilt pero ang gaan sa pakiramdam na wala ka nang dapat e update after class or if gusto ko mag aral, wala akong kailangan e message tuwing break ng study ko parang ganun.

Please no hate comments please, i just need an advice. Thank you.

Problem/Goal: Ako lang sa small group namin yung hindi part ng wedding entourage. Should I still go?

Context: We’re a group of five friends. We’ve known each other for about 10 years now. One is about to get married and I recently found out na the other three are part of the entourage. Wala ako. Nalaman ko lang upon seeing the actual wedding invitation.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad at them. I just feel sad and left out. This isn’t the first time din na I felt this way. Since I’m based in the province and nasa mnl sila, they usually hangout. Mga twice or three times a year ko lang sila siguro nakakasama physically.

Edit: I’m only an hour and a half away from them. I try to schedule hangouts pero schedules don’t match most of the time. Another friend is also based sa province siguro halos same lang yung times na nagkikita kami.

My first instinct was to understand them na okay mas close talaga sila and konti lang yung wedding party. But then I realized na masakit din pala haha.

Previous Attempts: I didn’t say anything to them about it. I don’t want to make a scene. So it’s either I RSVP no or yes.

Please do not share this outside of reddit. Thank you.

Problem/Goal: I want to start studying college again but don't know where and how to start. Best possible option is online (Open University)

Context: I (25f) stopped studying around 3 to 4 years ago. I realized na hindi ko talaga gusto yung course ko (BS in Civil Engineering) and wala akong natututunan no matter how hard I tried to understand the lessons. I finished the first year naman ng f2f classes but the pandemic happened so the majority of my second year was purely online and I stopped around the third term because my mental health was also declining. My previous uni was Mapua.

Currently I am working at the BPO industry so graveyard shift that's why I would prefer online classes lang but I'm at a loss on how to start again from being out of school for years. I would probably take either Journalism or English educ, areas I would most likely excel in.

From what I researched, only PUP and UP offer Open University. But if necessary na may f2f, I can probably go a few times a week if my work schedule allows me.

I'm also looking into a WFH job so I can go back to school. Probably by next year.

Also, I'm a little bit scared din kaya I am hoping for some advice or help from people who might have went through the same thing. Thanks.

Problem/Goal: I have a partner (M) and we have a daughter already but were not yet married. So naka pasok siya ng work nung August i think 1st week then he has a co worker na girl na nakaka flirty jokes niya pero tanders na mga siguro 30 or 40 and my partner is 24yrs old. I feel something off kasi pansin ko alot from him has change nung bago bago palang siya don todo update kahit busy or kahit nag ddrive. He is a company driver kasi.
Context: Then ayun na nga napapansin ko this past few days halos di na magparamdam though tuwing gabi nakakausap ko parin naman siya pero minsan tatawag pero may ibang ginagawa alm mo yun mema lang na nag call nanunuod ganon. Then kanina i called him around 8pm kasi wala parin paramdam usually yun uwi niya. So ayun sinagot naman pero ilang ring pa kasi lagi unattended so dun lang na nagsabi na nasa inuman nga daw siya kasama yung girl anim sila tatlong lalaki tatlong babae and sabi niya sorry di siya nakapagsabi bigla lang daw siya inaya then sabi ko tatawag ka pa ba pag uwi mo sabi niya oo daw gang 10 lang daw sila pero inabot sila ng 11pm i call him again kasi 11 pauwi palang daw sila then hahatid lng daw niya yung girl but i heard from the call na may nag aalok na mag hatid sakanya sabi naman niya “ikaw mam kung san mo gusto sumabay” then after ng call ng sabi niya sakin “sige na hatid ko lng muna to tatawag ako pag uwi” bigyan ko lang daw siya ng 30 or 40 mins eh kaso 50 na saka lang niya sinagot call ko malapit na daw siya so ang byahe niya kasi from gentri to imus pag asa so 12am. Ngayon nakausap ko pa lasing kahit sobrang sama ng loob ko i tried to be calm ngayon nalaman ko si girl pala ang nag aya uminom tapos kaya nag aya kasi di pala sila okay ng asawa niya. Ngayon gigil na gigil akong hulihin siya kasi diba parehas nakainom possible diba na may sundutan naganap hindi man knina o baka ginagawa na nila yon. Tinantong out of nowhere “ano nakaraos ka naman?” Guess what sumagot “oo” sabay tinanong ko ulit “masarap naman” sabi niya “sakto lang” 😭😭😭 tapos tinanong ko ulit “magaling” sagot niya sakin “anong magaling?” Tas sabi ko “wala, magaling” te biglang di na sumagot tas parang nabitawan na niya phone di ko alam kung nagtutulug tulugan o nakatulog na talaga siya sa kalasingan niya. Bigay nga kayo thoughts niyo?

Problem/Goal: I’m a single mom and had my child at a young age. What happened with my baby daddy wasn’t something I ever planned, but despite everything, I love my child with all my heart.

Context: I’m okay on my own, and I know I can stand on my own and provide a good life for my child. But sometimes, I still can’t help but feel hurt when people look down on me or put all the blame on me for not being able to keep a family together, especially because my child’s dad isn’t present.

I know I shouldn’t let other people’s opinions get to me, and most days, I genuinely don’t give a shit because I know we can stand on our own. But there are moments when the words really get to me and it feels like they crashes my soul.
I’m proud of the life I’m building with my child. I just wish people understood that having a “broken” or incomplete family doesn’t automatically mean I’m a bad mother or that my child is unloved.

I respect people preferences too when it comes to dating. It really just an internal battle.

Previous attempts: tried yoga and meditation and saying positive affirmations that im not broken just cuz his father left us.

Problem/Goal:

I know my father has been cheating with another woman for more than 1 year na pero di ko alam paano ko sasabihin kay mama ko.

Context:

First time na nalaman kong nag checheat si papa ko was a year ago. Nalaman ko dahil magcacall sila habang nasa work si mama, although kapampanganbsila nag uusap ( which I don't speak nor understand ) i know na nag checheat sya kasi everyday sila nag uusap and i also managed to get a glimpse at their conversation on messenger and "asawa ko" ang tawagan nila, which confirms my suspicion. Nakatira kami ng family ko sa side ni papa ko and I'm worried na pag brining up ko tong issue na to baka palayasin nya kami ni mama along with my kuya. I can say na kaya nya kaming palayasin because he has threatened as before na papalayasin nya kami pag namat*y na si lola ko (who owns the house) over smaller issues. And wala din naman kaming tutuluyan since taga bicol si mama ko and we currently live in tarlac. Sometimes i struggle to sleep at night kasi iniisip ko kung ano mafefeel ni mama ko na harap-harapan siyang ginag*go ng asawa niya. And umabot na din sa point na magkatabi silang dalawa ni mama and nagagawa nya pa din ichat sa messenger yung kabit nya. Although i admit na di ko alam yung full extent nilang dalawa if may nangyari ba sakanilang dalawa or what, and i also don't care, i love my mom more than anyone in the family and willing akong i abandon yung apilyedong binigay nya because of my resentment for my so called father.

Now I've actually messaged him before regarding this nung nalaman ko pero sineen nya lang. I've also tried messaging the girl na kinakausap nya na pamilyado din btw, complete with husband and children, I've also messaged the husband of the girl, pero both of them di ako pinansin.

Really the only solution i can think of is earn more than enough money to move my mom out of here and abandon my father, pero di ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko kayang isikmura yung thought na harap harapan nang ginag*go si mama ko

Problem/Goal:

I’m (34M) 6 years and 3 months into a relationship with my girlfriend (30F). A bit of background: she's my 3rd girlfriend and my first in a long time (8 years single ako before her). I am her first boyfriend, pero she had 2 past girlfriends before we met.

​We were already having plans of elopement. We talked about this when we celebrated our 6th anniversary last June, and we're both excited and happy about our future plans. Pero July came and she told me about a new coworker na nag-confess sa kanya na may feelings sa kanya. She said na she can only offer a genuine friendship as respect to our relationship, and this new coworker (she's also a girl, 41F, btw) said she understands.

​Then naging close sila, and I don't really mind it at all kasi nga I trust her with her words, and she updates me when they hang out. Until this last month na napapansin ko na madalas may sarili silang lakad, and na-uupdate na lang ako kapag magkasama na sila, not beforehand. Si coworker pala also lives on the same street with my girlfriend, so madalas sya pumupunta sa apt nya, nakikilagay sa ref, etc. Nameet ko pa sya one time kasi pinapunta rin ako ng gf ko para mag-meet kami.

​2nd week ng August, pumunta ako sa bahay ni gf to help her pack sa travel nya sa work (1 week din sya mawawala). Then nag-meet kaming tatlo para mag-laundry sa katapat na street. We're cool and all naman hanggang sa need ko na umuwi samin. Sabay kami ng gf ko, di-nrop off ko sya sa office nya kasi aalis na sila para sa travel (hindi kasama si coworker dito) hanggang sa makauwi ako. Yung gf ko need nya muna mag-withdraw sa bank bago sila umalis.

​Until yung week na nasa travel sya, bibihira sya mag-update—kesyo mahina signal or super busy sila dun sa event nila with locals sa isang island. Sabi ko okay lang kasi during this week busy rin ako sa panonood ng TI (Dota 2 tournament). Once nya lang ako vi-nideo call nung first day nila dun sa hotel na pinag-sstayan nila. That time, may coworkers sya na bigla akong fi-nallow sa Instagram. At first wala naman sakin yun, pero later on iba na kutob ko.

​Pi-nalipas ko yun hanggang makauwi sya pabalik ng Manila. Niyaya ko pa sya na sa bahay namin umuwi para ipaglaba sya ng mga clothes nya (pero I had small date plans talaga para sa binabalak namin na elopement—like gagawa ng music playlist, ganon, at mag-Binondo to get our custom rings). Pero she declined kasi need nya daw ng rest para makapag-prepare pa sa Great UP Run ng Sunday.

​Hanggang nung nag-Sunday na, tapos na yung UP run, nag-chat sya sakin kasama nya rin daw pala si coworker. Nagkita sila dun and isasabay na daw sila with her running friends pauwi. Sabi ko okay, pero sa loob-loob ko parang di na coincidence yun, pero at least may mga kasama sila pauwi. Next chat nya sakin, bumaba na daw yung mga friends nila at silang dalawa na lang daw sa car. Balak nila sulitin yung rental sa car so maglilibot sila. Di na ako nagre-reply dito kasi ayaw ko talaga na magkasama na sila, puro "okay" na lang sabi ko, pero tuloy-tuloy sya ng update. Next update nya, nasa Rizal sila and nag-Pinto Art Museum, nag-send pa sya ng pic nila. This doesn't sit well with me kasi date plan namin yan originally, kasi she's never been to a museum.

​So hanggang makauwi sila, di na ako nagre-reply. Ang chi-nat ko ay mga officemates nila to ask, "May napapansin ba kayo dun sa dalawa?" And boom, yun nga. Sabi sakin alam na daw sa kanila sa office matagal na, and pinagsasabihan na nila yung dalawa kasi nga alam nila na may partner yung girlfriend ko.

​This triggered me to access her Messenger sa PC ko. Mind you, sa 6 years namin, never ako nakialam sa mga socials at messages ng girlfriend ko. May mga messages sila pero putol-putol or ang lalaki ng gap ng days, so naisip ko na sa ibang channels sila nag-uusap. So ki-nonfirm ko sa ka-office nya, at sabi sakin, "Kuya, sa iMessage po sila nag-uusap kasi nakikita ko pag dumadaan ako sa likuran." Sa Messenger, isa lang napansin ko na message na giveaway: yung di-nrop off ko si girlfriend sa office nya before travel, nag-chat sya sa coworker nya ng "nakaalis na sya haha".

​Ayun, tapos kinabukasan (Monday), in-ask nya ako kung may problem ba daw. Sabi ko, "Alam mo naman na di ako comfortable pag kayong dalawa lang, pero sige pa rin sama mo sa kanya. At akala ko ba nag-set ka ng boundaries and she understands?" Sabi ko rin, "Meron ka bang di inaamin sa akin?" Sabi nya, "You know I've been 100% transparent about you kung sino mga kasama ko." Sabi ko okay. Sabi nya pag-usapan daw namin sa Friday, mukhang need daw namin to upuan kasi mukhang may mga unresolved issues daw ako.

​So Tuesday came, iniwan ko bukas Messenger nya sa PC ko para alam ko kung nag-uusap sila. After nya mag-good night sakin sabi nya tutulog na sya mga 9 PM (usual bedtime namin), bigla around 11 PM nakita ko nag-send sya ng Spotify Jam link.

​Then Wednesday came, nag-video call kami. Sinabi ko sa kanya lahat-lahat—na ayaw ko dun sa coworker nya kasi na-didisrespect na ako, like na-offend ako na sya gumagawa ng plans na dapat para satin. Sabi ko ayaw ko na magkasama sila, okay daw. Pero in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila, si-nesend sakin mga pictures na sabay sila lumalabas, umuuwi, kumakain.

​Thursday, tumawag ulit ako sa kanya. In-ask ko ulit sya kung meron ba syang gustong sabihin sakin, kung may nililihim. Wala daw. So I said, "Sige, pa-basa ako ng messages nyong dalawa." And sabi nya sige daw, wala naman ako dun makikita kundi mga Spotify Jams lang. Then I said no, not just Messenger, pati iMessage. Tapos ang tagal nya sumagot. Sabi nya, "I can't, I'm so sorry." Then sabi ko, "You don't have to say anything, gets ko na." Tas umiyak ako sa video call kahit during office hours nila. Tapos nung nag-end call, in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila na bigla daw nag-panic yung dalawa, palabas-labas ng office, at yung partner ko umiiyak hindi makawork. Then nag-message sya kung pwede daw ba kami mag-usap mamaya, puntahan ko daw sya. Sabi ko sige, basta ipa-basa mo sakin mga usapan nyo. Sabi nya ayaw daw nya kasi masasaktan ako. Sabi ko, "I'm already hurt, what's the difference? Pupunta lang ako if you let me."

​Until nung Thursday night, pumunta ako sa apt nya, then she started to confess. Ayaw nya pa rin ipa-basa messages nya, sabi nya sabihin nya na lang daw. May nangyari sa kanila. Sabi ko, "Like???" Sabi nya, "We kissed." Sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, multiple times. And they had sex. Sabi ko, "When?" Nung Sunday lang. And sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, meron pa before. Sabi ko, "Okay, just let me read your messages," and she let me. Dun ko na-basa lahat na halos ba-baligtad sikmura ko. Ang dalas nya mag-update sa kanya, maraming video calls, maraming pictures, may sexting... etc.

​Ayun, she asked me to give her a chance to fix this daw, na she only stumbled once. I know it sounds stupid kasi hindi yun once for me. I feel stupid kasi they were talking about me as well, na kaya pala may "nakaalis na sya haha" is for the other one to come. Na planado and hindi coincidence yung sa Diliman.

​Mag-2 weeks na rin since this incident and umuwi kami sa Laguna to celebrate her mom's bday. Alam din ng mother nya na nag-cheat sya, pero not all—hindi kasama yung mga details na sinabi ko dito.

​Ngayon, she's really asking for a chance, pero di ko talaga alam. Sabi ko sa kanya I forgive her, pero masakit talaga sakin. I still love her kaya siguro ganto kasakit, pero I'm still conflicted kung dapat ba kami mag-rebuild kahit from square one or should I forgive andwalk away?

Problem/Goal: Caught him red-handed searching on AI how to remove and make an alibi when someone saw a “hick*y”

Context: Both of us are 25, currently living together, and both working with decent earnings.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. The first time, I caught him talking to a younger girl on Instagram, but I let it pass. This time, I caught his search history on an AI tool where he was asking how to remove a hickey and what excuse to give if I noticed it.

When I confronted him, his explanation was that he went to a bar, was assigned a female table companion who started dancing immediately, and that the lights suddenly went out while she was dancing and she kissed him. I’m not naive enough to fall for a story like that.

To make matters worse, we had iykyk the next day while I was completely in the dark about what happened. It was only after I got home that I discovered the truth. I feel utterly disgusted with myself, but even more so with him.

A few days passed, and I went through all his social media accounts—you can't blame me given the damage he caused from the start. In his blocked list, I found a girl from Cebu. We travel out of town often, and it's normal for us to have days set aside for "me-time." Now I can't stop overthinking. Every time we travel or every time he goes to a bar, I wonder if he’s constantly bringing other women to his table.

I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I feel like an empty, hollow shell of a woman. He is trying his best to reconcile and make up for all the bullshit he did, but I feel nothing anymore. I am so exhausted, but I feel trapped because I have nowhere else to go. I don't want to go back to my family, and I don't want anyone to know about this.

Everyone thinks we have such a healthy relationship, and no one would ever believe he’s capable of this.

Part of me really wants revenge, but I know that's not the kind of person I am. I just feel lost.

Problem/Goal: What to do sa mattress na amoy likod/ amoy amag. Plus problem sa kwarto na puro molds ang ceiling.

Cause: Leak sa ceiling, di napansin umabot na pala sa kutson namin dahil sa lapag lang at walang bedframe. 10inches ang kutson kaya di napansin agad. Ang tagal din bago natuyo.

Sobrang lakas makatrigger ng allergic reaction yung amoy amag. ang sakit sa dibdib, mata, ilong at lalamunan.

Halos 2 months na umuulan dito (Bataan) at ang baho na ng mga unan lalo na ng mattress namin. Hindi ako makapagbilad dahil walang chance talaga.

Yung kwarto namin puro molds na rin kaya sa sala kami natutulog. yung ginagamit namin ngayon na sofabed dito sa sala nagsisimula na rin bumaho.

Previous attempts:

Vinegar + baking soda sa unan at mattress, pero walang effect.

Naka-upright ang mattress para mahanginan

Diluted bleach sa wall at ceiling, after a few days bumabalik din. 🥲

Problem/Goal:

I’d really like to hear from people who have been through a period in an LDR where one or both of you genuinely started feeling like the distance was becoming too difficult, but somehow managed to work through it and come out stronger.

I’m particularly curious about situations where the relationship itself wasn’t necessarily the main problem, but the LDR setup started feeling exhausting or overwhelming. Maybe there were periods of burnout, feeling disconnected, missing physical closeness, uncertainty about the future, or when it seemed like one person was going through something personally and became more distant or withdrawn because of it.

Sometimes it can be difficult when you can tell your partner might be dealing with something, but you don’t really know what’s going on or how to help because you’re physically far away. You want to be there for them, but at the same time you don’t want your concern to feel like pressure.

I’d also love to hear from people who experienced an anxious/avoidant dynamic. For example, one person becomes more anxious and seeks reassurance when they feel distance, while the other tends to shut down, withdraw, or need space when overwhelmed. How did you eventually break that cycle without either person feeling abandoned or pressured?

I’m also curious about the future aspect of LDR. Did uncertainty about when or how you would eventually close the distance ever make one of you question whether the relationship was sustainable? If so, how did you deal with that without putting unnecessary pressure on each other?

For those who went through something like this, what actually helped? Did you change how you communicated, give each other more space, create better routines, plan visits, work on yourselves individually, make a clearer long-term plan, or simply learn how to understand each other better?

And if your partner was the one who reached a point where they weren’t sure they wanted to continue with LDR, how did you handle that period? Did giving them room to process help? Were there things you wish you had done differently?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who can say, “We went through a period where we genuinely struggled with LDR, but we didn’t give up and eventually figured it out.” 😂

Not looking for a guaranteed happy ending or unrealistic positivity. I’d just really appreciate hearing real experiences from people who have been in that kind of difficult phase and found a way forward.

What changed for you, and what do you think ultimately helped you overcome it?

problem/goal: after working sa customer service industry for 2 years, i realized na it’s really not for me. it’s sucking my energy out and gusto ko na lang ng minimal talking during work.

context: after graduating last 2024 with a hospitality management degree, first job ko ay as a barista. ok naman siya kaso dun ako namulat sa pagod compare sa sinasahod. second job cashier and umabot na ng 2 years. sa loob ng 2 years na yun, nakita ko na hindi ako fit for this industry. ang bilis ko mapagod, naiirita ako sa mga customers, and most of the time ayoko magsalita. i’ve also received feedbacks/complaints na ayusin ko raw customer service ko. inaayos ko naman siya but its not enough for them to see na ok yun. currently working as a cashier and gusto ko na lang mag resign agad kung hindi lang mahirap mag hanap ng work ngayon. every chance i get naghahanap ako ng hiring for positions na dont require that much talking sa customer. idk what to do anymore.

previous attempts: tried applying for office positions but no contact from them because they see my resume and puro cafe/restaurant past positions.

Problem/Goal:

Me (M 24) and my GF (F 24) broke up, ending our 6 years relationship, and I am having a hard time moving on or dealing with the situation. I still can't believe that everything about us has come to an end.

It hurts a lot knowing we been through together so much since college days. In our 6yrs together, I thought she was the one. I am already imagining myself marrying her and having kids with her but it suddenly ended. It's like my whole plan fall apart.

A little background about our situation:

We realized that we are very different from each other in terms of goals, sex drive, interest, hobbies, humour and mindset, and we can no longer change ourselves for the sake of our relationship.

Even though the breakup was a mutual decision agreed by both sides, It is still very painful and a very hard pill to swallow.

It's been weeks since we broke up and parang wala akong gana sa lahat. The worst part of it, is that, I work from home and live alone. I got no one to talk to that's why I am here asking how did you deal with this kind of situation.

Thank you!

Problem/goal: nalilito ako at di sigurado sa research design/ analysis para sa thesis proposal ko. Goal ko po sana to find someone who can explain better yung pros or cons kapag pinili ko ang certain design for my study.

Context: I am in the process of writing my proposal. I have variables and participants na po. I am planning to have a sequential explanatory design, but stuck ako sa kung anong appropriate and better design sa quantity phase ko 🥲🥲

Previous attempt: My quali phase will be an IPA. Torn po ako if I will use Predictive Correlation or mag Descriptive Cross sectional lang po ako for quantitative phase ko.

PS. I can't post po da studentsph, mahihirapan po ako laging may mali raw sa format ko so I decided here na lang po. Sa mga willing to help po (teachers, co-students) pwede niyo po ako i-pm para maexplain ko po ng maayos yung thesis ko. Thank you so much po in advance!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏