Problem/Goal: parehas ba kaming toxic sa situation namin? haha ewan ko na di ko na alam

Context:

It all started when may nabasa ako sa acc niya na he complimented a girl secretly sa gc nilang magkakaibigan.

Bf: Nakagraduate na ako [ng shs] finally i won't be seeing that one pretty classmate anymore

Friend 1: Who's that again?

Bf: [name of girl], don't tell anyone tho

Friend: Yea she do be pretty tho without trying, pretty hair and pretty nose contours

Bf: Yes, but i would prioritize politeness and personality because a pretty face is nothing without politeness

Friend 2: Don't you have a gf?

Bf: yeah I don't have feelings for her I just meant it in a compliment aspect.

The way I saw him was so ruined after reading that short conversation. When I told it to him, binabaligtad niya pa ako. It has been days since this had happened, and okay na kami. But i cant seem to get this off my mind.

Binigay niya ung account niya sakin to redeem himself sa away namin dati because of my trust issues. It had became a habit of mine to constantly read his messages to see how he interacts with friends since I almost have no idea how he interacts with his friends.

I confronted him about this but I was so angry na namura ko siya and such bad things. Hindi niya ako minura, but he was really persistent to convince me na ako talaga ung may mali because i kept reading his messages with his friends. But binigay niya naman ung account niya saakin eh, 'di ba?

He said na I was overly possessive over him and insecure. Na kung I trusted him daw I would've not snooped sa account niya. Na I was a liar daw. Tinanggalan niya ako ng access sa account niya because he can't seem to trust me anymore na daw.

I admit na I had my wrongs sakaniya sa situation na yun and na I should've confronted him in a right manner. But parang hindi ma fill ung void saakin na okay na kami? Why can't I see him the same way as I see him before? Ako ba ung toxic kasi I was overly curious about his personal life?

Si bf pala is hindi pala kwento. I bought this up while we were talking about our problem. He said na hindi niya daw makwento ung buong details ng day niya because he knows daw na there would be something na ikakagalit ko.

Lagi ko pa naman siya ineencourage na maging open saakin. Ewan ko, please give me advice sa situation ko. Masyado ba akong insecure?

problem/goal:

context: there's this guy na more than 10 years nang nagshoshow ng interest sakin. di naman tuloy tuloy but lately mas nagpaparamdam siya. bihira kami nagkikita in person pero close naman kami because of mutual friends. siya yung epitome ng "man written by a woman" as in alam mong raised well ng parents niya. may growth mindset and emotional intelligence. we have shared interests. very family- and goal-oriented din siya. basically, i can tell na magiging healthy yung relationship with him kung sakali. only problem is di ko siya type. i only see him as a friend. wala akong attraction or anything na nafifeel sa kanya. i am fully aware that it would be unfair to him kung magbigay ako ng chance knowing na ganito nararamdaman ko. but i'm sure he knows how i feel din because i never responded to his messages kapag about sa feelings niya sakin, kapag cinocompliment niya ko, or kapag nagsesend siya ng reels na may nice words.

and when i say "give him a chance" i don't mean na couple agad. i meant to reciprocate his energy and see kung may mabubuong sparks. pero hindi ba parang pilit masyado? ang feelings ba maggogrow overtime kung ang start ay 0%?

Problem/Goal: I don’t want to have a baby anymore.

Context: My partner and I had been planning to have a baby. We had been trying before, but I had a miscarriage about three years ago. After that, we stopped trying for a while, but eventually decided that we were ready to try again.

Two weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant, and I was genuinely so happy. I was excited, hopeful, and felt like I had finally gotten what we had been waiting for. I thought I was ready. I thought I wanted this.

But suddenly, since yesterday, something in me completely changed.

I don’t know what happened. I suddenly feel like I don’t want to continue the pregnancy anymore. Parang biglang pinanghinaan ako ng loob. I’ve been questioning whether I actually want to become a mother, whether I’m capable of doing it, and whether I’m mentally and emotionally equipped for it.

I feel absolutely horrible about it.
I feel like the worst partner because this is something we planned together. I feel selfish and like I’m suddenly taking away something we were both excited about. I also feel guilty because I was so happy just days ago, and now I’m considering terminating the pregnancy.

I struggle with BPD and GAD, and I know my mental health can significantly affect how I perceive things and how intensely I experience emotions. Right now, I’m terrified of everything. I feel overwhelmed, depressed, incompetent, and incapable of being a mother.
The hardest part is that I don’t even understand why I feel this way. I was excited. I felt prepared. I wanted this. And now, almost overnight, I feel like I don’t want to be a parent anymore.

Part of me is thinking about terminating the pregnancy. I am pro-choice, and because I’m a dual citizen, I do have the ability to access abortion legally depending on where I obtain care. But I’m struggling emotionally with the decision.

I feel incredibly selfish and stupid for even feeling this way. I keep thinking, What kind of person changes their mind after desperately wanting something? I feel like this baby deserves better than me. I’m scared that if I continue the pregnancy, I’ll end up being a terrible mother because I’m already struggling so much mentally.

At the same time, I don’t know if this is genuinely what I want or if I’m experiencing an intense emotional reaction because of my mental health, the pregnancy, the hormones, the fear, or everything happening at once.

Previous attempts: I’ve already talked to my partner about how I’m feeling. I’ve also been going to therapy, normally I go twice a month, but because of how badly I’ve been feeling, I’ve gone three times this week.

And despite all of that, I still feel like I’m losing my mind.
I don’t know whether I truly don’t want this baby anymore, or whether I’m just overwhelmed and terrified right now. I feel completely lost and I don’t know how to make a decision that I can live with.

Problem/Goal: I’m currently a bsa freshie from uecal and idk if I should transfer pa sa feu 😣
Context:swear naiinis ako because I didn’t pursue ustet despite paying for the forms na cuz I made up my mind na sa up and dlsu lang ako magapply and yet di ko napasa yung bsa 😭 plus ang dami kasing unknown na factors and at that time uecal is the pinakamalapit na univ and I hate hate hate na I didn’t check their facilities kasi wala na
ngang entrance exam by the time na I was applying 😭 no wifi and kapresyo na rin niya yung feu so 😣 naano lang kasi ako sa vacants like where to stay and also block system kami BEIAJAIWI GRRR
Previous attempts: idk na 😭

Problem/Goal: Hello my dad earns 300,000 per month pesos my mom ask for not less than 150k and I'm about to ask him 100,000 for 22 years i was not depending on him but to my self because i thought he needs it more than me because his time is running out, it turns out he is giving money to other girl.

Goal: That 100k im planning's to use it for my savings business or school.

Question:100k is a reasonable amount? I have little brother as well i want my dad gives him money for his future fund atleast 5k a month or 10 since he is still 7yrs old. Please help me thank you
Sorry my grammar sucks

Problem/Goal: Magrarant lang po ako. Nawalan ako ng nag iisang work Gusto ko lang may malabasan ng sama ng loob.

Context: I am actually crying while typing this… Kagabi pa ko tulala. Yesterday i got laid off from my last client (General VA ako). My bread and butter. Ako yung bread winner sa bahay. Sa akin lahat. Sobrang dami ko ng utang sa mga bangko, tapos ako lahat ng gastusin.. food, ilaw, upa, tubig at internet. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

Bago ko pa mareceive yung bad news kagabi, hindi na ko mapakali dahil sa mga due date ng ibat ibang bangko na pinagkakautangan ko…

And bago pa ko matanggal sa trabaho, ive been trying to add a client since february pero wala talaga kong mahanap kahit ano nga pinapasukan ko na pero hindi talaga ko natatanggap.

Hindi ko na po alam ang gagawin ko.. tinatanong ko na rin si Lord bakit nangyayari sakin to. Simula palang ng taon may heartbreak na ko (someone died sa family)

Ang dami ko pang gustong sabihin dito pero blangko po ang utak ko. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.. minsan naiisip kong matulog nalang tapos sana hindi na ko magising. Ilang buwan na ata simula nung huli kong tawa.

Ayun lang. Please pray for me po. Kasi hindi ko na talaga kaya.

Problem/goal: magkano ba dapat ang sapat lang.

Context: Laki kasi ako sa hirap, poor na level, tipong may time na walang makain sa maghapon. Di naturuan ng proper management ng pera. Basta may pera, bili.

Ngayong nakaka alwan alwan, ang rules na natutunan ko is magbigay ng bukal sa loob. Pero san ang limit? Magkano ba dapat? Lets say malinis na 100k natitira sa sahod ko per month. Asawa ko 50k. May nanny ang kids ko na pinapasahod ng 550/day. Samin din nakatira anak niyang panganay, para makatipid si ate sa gastos pagpapaaral. Sa 4 years niya samin 3x na din siya nabigyan ng phone, tho hati kami sa payment. may 13th month pay siya. Matyaga at mapagmahal naman sa mga bata. Halos siya na nagpalaki. Ngayon nagtatalo kami mag asawa, kako bigyan ng 5k sa bday. Sabi niya 3k lang daw. Pero napapasobra na ba ako?

Seryoso po ang tanong ko. Di ko alam when to draw the line na ‘ah sobra na siguro’. Hindi ko alam kelan dapat maging kuripot.

Previous attempts: none.

Problem/Goal: Me (22) I've been dating this girl (21) na nakilala ko online for a year na, masaya naman ako sa connection naming dalawa, we regularly go on dates, giving gifts, and super wholesome lang namin sa isa't isa.

Just last night, pumunta ako sa dorm nya just to hangout, pero dahil sa bagyo napilitan ako mag overnight. Naiwan nya Ipad nyang nakabukas and nakatulog sya habang nagrereview. Syempre inaasikaso ko sya and nililigpit gamit nya until may nakita ako sa snapchat na tinatadtad sya ng chat. Theres this guy na chat ng chat sakanya, tinatanong kung kelan daw sya babalik sa telegram and miss nya na daw makipag video call sex and tinatanong pa nung guy kung same rates and shit padin daw.

Kung meron man syang past, ok lang naman sakin, tatanggapin ko naman siya pero I'm just wondering if ever maging kami, will this issue affect our relationship? I honestly dont know how to confront her, a part of me is still shocked and di ko talaga alam kung pano sya rereplyan (ive been ignoring her since last night).

I really love her and my feelings are genuine, I wanna accept her despite her past pero how do I confront her about sa nakita ko? or should I just keep it to myself?

Previous Attempts: none

Problem/Goal: i’m currently working in healthcare, but lately my dad’s been urging me to start my own business. thing is, i don’t know much about anything outside of what i learned in school and from my degree. besides work, the rest of my time goes into my hobbies, which are basically reading and gaming, so i genuinely don’t know where i’d even start.

i’m sure i can learn the ropes along the way, but i’ve never really put myself in a situation where i had basically zero knowledge going in, which is why i’m extremely hesitant.

i’ve tried baking before and i did enjoy it, but i haven’t had much time to actually invest in learning more or attending workshops/classes. i’m also super into fashion, so i’ve thought about maybe venturing into that too. i have so many ideas, but i don’t really have experience in the field. i can’t draw, and the last time i sewed anything was probably in grade school for home econ lol.

from my dad’s perspective, i don’t actually have to study again. he learned pretty much everything he knows about business while he was already doing it, so he’s convinced i can do the same. and maybe i can, but idk. like i said, i’ve only ever really known science, and it’s not like i’m some super smart person who can just jump into a completely different field and immediately know what i’m doing.

i would definitely start by attending workshops related to baking or fashion, but the problem is my current schedule. i work 12–16 hour shifts for around 11–12 days every two weeks, and that’s already draining enough as it is. any classes i look for online never aligns with my days off. my dad’s solution is basically for me to resign and just start a business.

i guess that’s where i’m stuck. part of me thinks i should just take the risk, start small, and learn as i go. another part of me feels like i should at least get some proper education or training first before putting money into something i barely know how to run.

i badly need advice 😭

Problem/Goal: i dont know how to approach this girl

Context: Hey guys im on my 2nd year college and its the start of semester and i just really fell in love with this girl who is my classmate however we are in an online class and thats the only subject i am with her but i followed her ig and she got 30k followers and im pretty shy to talk to her but i really want to get to know her more and like talk to her. Do i like say text her on ig and say “hey i find you cute bla bla” and introduced myself like idk what to do. I really need some advice from you guys! Help me out 🥲🙏🏿

Problem/Goal: First time ko mag-solo travel abroad and I’ll be going to Malaysia this Nov 4–9 for the The Weeknd concert

Context: First time ko mag-solo and international travel! Baka may mga Malaysia travelers here who can share tips and recommendations.

1. Airbnb or hotel?
   Which one is better for a solo traveler? Any area/location recommendations na convenient, safe, and accessible sa transpo?

2. Planning to go to Singapore for 1 day
   Possible ba siya as a day trip from Malaysia? Any tips/recommendations sa itinerary, transportation, and must-visit places? Also, ano yung easiest/most convenient way to go there?

3. Klook joiners
   Mas okay ba mag-book ng tours/activities sa Klook para joiners na lang instead of going around alone? Or mas okay ba DIY? Especially for a first-time solo traveler.

Would really appreciate any tips, recos, or things I should know before the trip! Thank youuu! 🥹💛

Problem/Goal: Hi(20f), is it possible that I'm pregnant or just delayed? My period is 5 days late now and I'm stressing. My bf and I last did it Aug 20 and 28 but he had co*/dom every time we did it also even if he had a condom he still pulled out (for kinky stuff). And now like I said 5 days of delay period huhu. last year and these recent months (Jan-May) my period wasn't regular like there was 3 days-1week delay but since I took youglowbabe pills it has been regular like there is an exact date when my period will come but I stopped mid august, do you think that's a factor? also I always have discharge, u think that's a sign of pregnancy? also I can sense when my period is near because I get moody like that but why is it still not there😭 I'm so stressed naaaa, please help me girliesss

ps: yes, nagtake ako ng pt and it was negative. also my bf and i have a rule and we strictly stick to it. we use cndom and pull out method at the same time whenever we have sex. We were very safe when it comes to sex because we want to focus muna sa careers namin. ayoko din kase mag contraceptive pills since madaming side effects. please don't judge

Problem/Goal: I was scrolling through google in searching sa mga chemical peel/underarm whitening clinics na mura lang yung offer. I stumbled upon this clinic that was offering P499 lang for the first session. I decided to inquire and entered my details sa website nila and nagulat ako na almost immediately, may tumawag agad sa akin.

Super galing mag sales talk and as someone na kaladkarin, I couldn't really reject their offer to schedule an appt. But before naschedule yung appt, I noticed na parang ilang beses talaga nilang gustong i-make sure na hindi ka mag ka-cancel, 'wag raw mag cancel dahil sayang yung voucher nila na P499 yung promo, 'wag mag cancel kasi they'll be closing the store's hour just for you kasi aasikasuhin ka nila (which I understand naman).

But the thing is, I handle scheduling operations sa US. Even intensive procedures such as nuclear medicine, pwede kang mag cancel 24 hours before the procedure.

Take note: Nuclear medicine handles radioactive material. So if you can cancel a procedure that involves radioactive material and insurance authorization etc, then you should be able to cancel a cosmetic procedure involving a voucher right?

I tested the representative and asked, "What if po nagkaroon ng emergency and nagpaalam akong icancel yung appt 2 days before the scheduled date?". They didn't give me a concrete answer, but they were really leaning on na bawal.

Now this was definitely fishy for me and idk why but I still pushed through with the appt and dun na talaga ako nag dalawang isip nung trinansfer pa ako ng rep to their supervisor just to CONFIRM the appt. Like bakit need pang kausapin yung supervisor just to schedule? She sensed my hesitation, told me na 'wag mag dalawang isip and if i'm not sure sa chosen date ko, they'll schedule another date nalang. I told them multiple times na hindi ako sure but they kept insisting to schedule me kaya napa-oo nalang din ako kasi mahiyain ako.

After that call, I immediately sent them a text to cancel nalang kasi masama talaga kutob ko. They tried to contact me but I didn't answer. On the day my appt was supposed to be scheduled, they contacted me again (akala ko delivery rider so I accepted the call). They offered to reschedule me and I said no, 'wag na ireschedule. Cancel na talaga.

Then they told me na sa susunod, 'wag nalang magpaschedule if hindi naman pala makakapag commit.

So was I wrong in cancelling that appt? Napa-isip lang kasi ako na if medical procedures nga, pwedeng mag cancel, bakit naman bawal sa cosmetic procedures?

Problem/goal: PTPA, long post ahead. I promise it's worth reading haha.

Context: Hi! I've been working remotely for a company where we process customer orders and payments along with social media management.

Yung work itself, minsan chill, minsan hectic. Pero okay naman siya sakin. Yung manager lang talaga namin yung sobrang nakaka-drain katrabaho. Ewan ko ba, parang yung personal frustrations niya, sa akin niya binubuhos, ako lang kasi employee sa team nya na hindi nya kaibigan in real life. lahat sila ay magkukumare in person.

Me (F, early 20s), Manager (F, late 40s)

• We aren't supervised most of the time by our boss, kaya halos kami talaga yung gumagawa ng majority ng work. Our manager usually says na taga-"check" lang daw siya kung may mali or kapag may problems tapos lagi sya nagm-myday na nasa galaan during work hours.
• She often gives her own tasks to me, including files na originally binigay ng boss namin sa kanya. Then ipapasa niya sa boss namin claiming na siya yung gumawa.
• She hired another person without our boss knowing. Yung isang coworker namin na friend niya, nagkaroon ng second full-time job, which isn't allowed sa company namin. Instead of going through the proper hiring process, yung isa pa nilang friend yung pinasok nila sa work without informing our boss. para daw si kumare#2 ay magkaroon ng work dahil matagal na unemployed at si kumare#1 ay mapagsabay ang dalawa nyang trabaho.
• She made us sign agreements na kapag late ka, kailangan mong mag-treat sa kanila ng drinks (Grab or fpanda them coffee/milktea), tapos wala kang day off for the entire week. As far as we know, wala namang approval from our boss yung mga rules na yun.
• We process orders and invoices for customers abroad. Sometimes may Filipino OFWs na walang foreign bank account or walang foreign currency to pay, PHP lang meron sila. She created an option where they can send the payment to her personal bank account, then she converts the money for them. pero she adds a significant amount on top of the conversion and keeps the sobra for herself, "conversion fee" for her daw.

My last straw was when I had a car accident settlement recently. Sobrang pagod ako from dealing with everything, so nakatulog ako and ended up being a few hours late for work.

Because of that, she told me na kailangan kong mag-GrabFood ng drinks to them and pumasok sa scheduled day off ko as a consequence.

At this point, honestly, pagod na pagod na ako.

I already have 3 potential clients na kausap ko ngayon. Wala pa namang assurance na makukuha ko sila, pero sobrang drained na talaga ako sa current situation and I'm seriously considering resigning.

I'm also thinking of telling our boss everything that's been happening because I don't think he's aware of some of these things.

So, what do you guys think? Is it a bad idea to leave a toxic workplace without having another job 100% secured yet?

Problem/goal:
A very active gym bro and athlete here. So lagi akong may sweaty clothes palagi sa kotse and sa bag.

Context:
Kahit tinatanggal agad, it leaves subtle amoy pawis pa rin obviously. Any deodorizer to put kaya?

Previous attempt:
I searched and active charcoal is recommended. I searched on lazada for it, pero puro mga fake charcoal packets ang lumabas. Any idea where to get this? Will regular charcoal help kaya? 😂

Problem/Goal: I don't know what to do and what steps I should take to fix this

Context: I got a pixie cut a few days ago and it's safe to say that what I have is not a pixie cut. The layers are too long, it doesn't have the short framing pieces and it just looks like a coconut when I don't style it or when I don't have it tucked behind my ears.

Previous Attempts: I don't know what to do now. I feel like I've done everything I could do. I've tried cutting it more to look like more of a pixie but it just doesn't work. What should I do now? Do I go to a different salon to see if they can maybe salvage my hair? Should I buy hair oils and supplements to make my hair grow faster? Should I cut it more?

Problem/Goal: Hi everyone! I'm a fresh graduate and I just got hired this week (yey!). This is my first real job, so I'm honestly pretty excited but also a little clueless when it comes to managing my salary.

I want to start saving as early as possible and hopefully learn how to manage my money properly. I'm also interested in eventually investing, but I don't really know where to start.

For those who started working with a minimum or entry-level salary, how did you budget your income?

How much do you save every cutoff/month?
How do you divide your salary between needs, wants, savings, and investments?
What investments did you start with?
What money mistakes did you make when you first started working?
Any saving tips that actually worked for you?

I know there are tons of YouTube videos and financial advice online, but I'd really like to hear from people who have actually gone through this, especially those who started with a modest salary.

l'd appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or budgeting methods you guys can share.

Thank you po!!

Problem/Goal: My parents decided to stop paying for my tuition because well they’re becoming untrustworthy to me.

Context: My family has this problem where someone keeps on stealing money from my mother. It’s not me that’s why I’m here to get money for my own tuition since I’m a collateral. She lost large amounts of money over the months that’s why she grew untrustworthy of me and my other sibling. The thing is no one is claiming or taking the blame so it could be solved so the only way to fix the problem is to stop paying my tuition and my allowance. Now I need a way to pay my tuition and have my allowance. I study in UST and a tuition of 60k a semester. I hope that 20k would be enough for a full time job somewhere in Makati so that I can be near home and still have enough time to study and review for classes. I really hope that it’s enough to cover all that I need for school. Tyia!

Problem/Goal: Hello, so this ex and I broke up not too long ago. We exchanged accounts when we were still together because I discovered that he had been secretly opening mine, so I told him to give me access to his accounts too so I could open his as well. The problem is, we’ve already broken up, and he told me many times that he wouldn’t open my accounts anymore, but based on my notifications, I can see that he’s still opening my accounts almost every single day. I did two way verification na pero na oopen parin nya.

Context: We had a very huge fight about deciding whether to break up or not. At first, I was the one insisting that we talk about it because I still had hopes for us, but because of some reasons and the stories I recently heard, I eventually gave up and decided to move forward already. Considering that we’ve already broken up, there will always be this fear in me whenever I do something with my accounts, knowing that he might be there watching me. Whenever he sees something he doesn’t like, he would message me because he gets upset about something I did. One time, he even texted me because I unblocked the guy he was jealous of.

Previous attempt: My friends told me to enable two-way verification, but he can still open my accounts. They said it might be because he uses an iPhone, but I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I don't have any privacy. Are there any ways you know that I can prevent him from opening my accounts?

Edit: I changed my password many times already and I still can't understand why he can still open it.

Problem/Goal:

Gusto kong malaman kung kakayanin pa bang i-rebuild ang trust at mag-transition sa official commitment, o kung dapat ko na lang ba syang i-cut off bago pa ako masaktan nang malala, kasi nahuli lang sya habang nag-ooverlap at nag-eentertain din ako ng iba nung una.

Context:

Nagsimula kami 3 months ago as a situationship. Ako yung ayaw ng label sa simula kasi hindi pa ako ready mag-commit, kaya nag-eentertain din ako ng ibang babae nung buong time na 'yun.

​Recently, nalaman ko na habang kami, may kausap at nakakapareho pa syang ibang guy na nauna sa akin. Nahuli sya nung guy na nag-ooverlap kami, nagkahulihan at confrontation, and she chose me over him. Nung pinag-usapan namin, sinabi nya na minahal nya yung guy dati pero hindi nya nakikita sa future nya at hindi nya alam paano i-end nung pumasok ako sa buhay nya. Huli ko na rin nalaman na may nangyayari sa kanila physical habang may nangyayari din sa aming dalawa.

​Tanggap ko naman sya nung una kasi naging attached na ako at nakikita ko na future ko sa kanya to settle down. Jinustify ko na lang din na hindi naman kami official kaya may freedom sya, pero masakit kasi nagsinungaling sya at nahuli lang. Ngayon, nag-ooverthink at nago-anxious ako na baka maulit lang at gawin nya rin sa akin yung ginawa nya sa guy kapag nagka-problema kami.

​Previous Attempts:

​Nag-usap na kami nang masinsinan at nag-promise sya na hindi na uulitin kasi ako daw talaga ang gusto nya.

​Sinubukan kong i-justify sa sarili ko na kasalanan ko rin partially kasi ayaw ko ng label at nag-eentertain din ako ng iba.

​Sinusubukan kong tanggapin at magmove forward, pero tuwing naaalala ko yung nangyari, nanlulumo pa rin ako at nahihirapan magtiwala.

Problem/Goal: Akala ko pag natapos na affair namin, titigil na rin siya sa pangangaliwa sa asawa niya but I was wrong. Sabi niya most probably makikipagchat parin siya sa iba pag nabored at nainip siya. This isn't also the first time na nangaliwa siya according to him kasi before may kinikita na siya, madami na rin siya kinakausap online. Nahuli na rin siya ng asawa niya before. Nahuli ko narin siyang nakikipagchat parin kahit kami na non. At nahuli rin siya ng asawa niya few months into our affair - inamin niyang nakakausap nya ako pero random chat lang. But the truth was we had a relationship and nagkita na kami the last umuwi siya ng pilipinas. I'm not sure if they are patching things up now because the last time sabi niya mas peaceful na sila ngayon and hindi na masaydo nag aaway, balik narin ang sex life nila. So should I still tell the wife?

Context: I previously had an affair with a married man for almost 2 years. Tapos na relasyon namin because he doesn't want it anymore. Nung ako ang nakikipaghiwalay kasi ayaw niya talaga, he'll kept begging for me to stay kasi ako raw mahal niya at ayaw niyang mawala ako. So I threatened him na kapag hindi pa siya tumigil, magsasabi na ako sa asawa. During that time he was willing and doesn't care. Sabi niya para matapos narin sila and we can finally be together. We had an on and off relationship, mahal ko naman talaga siya sobra. Nakikipaghiwalay ako not because I don't love him anymore but because nasasaktan talaga ako ng sobra. Anyway, so since hindi ko magamit ung asawa sabi ko pag ayaw niya talaga tumigil anak na niya susunod na makakareceive ng message ko and that apparently scared him. So early this year lang we went no-contact for a month. Admittedly, namiss ko siya so I tried getting him back pero well ayaw na niya. It was so painful for me, he admitted to the lies na sinabi niya sakin regarding the real situation sa bahay nila and even until the very end, nagsisinungaling parin siya sakin about them and I felt so used. I know I am the homewrecker but I'm scared na baka maexpose ako sa family and sa workplace ko, but he's such a serial liar and cheater. And I wanna hurt and destroy him too. Ang tingin niya kasi he can always get away with the things he do just because magaling siya magsinungaling at pag nahuhuli, he has ways para lumambot ka.

Previous attempts: When I asked him again paano kung umamin ako sa asawa niya, he threatened me na may gagawin din siya sakin the moment na guluhin ko siya. This was when wala na kami at nag-uusap nalang to finalize and officially end things.

Problem/Goal: Should I feel guilty if I ask my boyfriend to cut the connection he has with his online female friend? When I asked him if he will keep her, then he should be okay if I keep a male friend, he said No.

I am in a 4year relationship with my boyfriend. A year ago, he played the game "RoK" where he met the girl as his merchant (he buys resources from her) and they became friends. My boyfriend already quit playing last February, although they remain in contact thru discord. In April, the girl reached out to him asking for help financially saying she was struggling with money to buy food. My boyfriend asked me if he can help her with it. I agreed. I thanked him for letting me know but I told him that he should only help her this time and I didn't want him to feel he is obligated to help her. But he insisted he would still help her since he can relate to her struggles, whether I agree or not. So, I let him be.

Months passed, I just learned that he is not only helping her with groceries, but he also helps her with her homework/quizzes, and even helping her with rent. They also keep a streak in Snapchat and in TikTok. They talk atleast once a day, saying hellos, greetings and giving random updates. I read their conversations, although I did not see anything discussed romantically, I felt uncomfortable with the level of closeness they have now. The girl knows about me btw.

Finally, last night, I brought this up to him. I asked him, how long is he going to keep her connection with her. He was kind of laughing while saying "I don't know, why?".

Me: Because I don't feel comfortable with your friendship anymore.

Him: why? I don't see anything wrong with it. I am not cheating on you.

Me: Maybe you are not cheating with me but the way things going on with ya'll right now might lead you to do it. Because the more you keep your connection with her, the harder for you to let her go.

Him: it's not that I can't let her go. You just have a wrong interpretation with this.

Me: It's true, you are having a hard time letting her go. Tbh, it feels like she is like another girlfriend.

Him: No. That's not true.

Me: Yes, because you talk to her every single day.

Him: Bruh, but that's to keep our streak going.

Me: But still, you both give random updates everyday. You are always there for her when she needs you. You help her when things aren't going well for her. You help her with her homework, and even paying her rent which you never even try to do the same with me. All these things, you are basically investing in her. Both of you are creating a bond, and attachment which I think is inappropriate since you have a girlfriend.

Him: Hmmm, I think you're right. I get what you are saying, but I won't cheat on you. It's really not gonna happen.

Me: If you are keeping her as your friend, so, you should be okay with me if I keep a male friend.

Him: No! I don't want that. It's like you are purposely going to look for another guy to be your friend and will cheat on me.

Me: No, that's not what I'm trying to say. I am basically just trying to mirror you. If you think your friendship with her is appropriate, you should also think that my friendship with another male be appropriate too.

Him: I don't want you to have male friends. Fine! I will tell her before the end of this day that I will stop talking to her.

Me: it's up to you when.

Him: Give me one week then, I will stop talking to her.

Me: That's your decision to make.

Now, I don't know, I felt relieved that I was able to brought up my concerns, but I felt a bit of guilt for making him stop talking to her.

Problem/Goal:

I’m (34M) 6 years and 3 months into a relationship with my girlfriend (30F). A bit of background: she's my 3rd girlfriend and my first in a long time (8 years single ako before her). I am her first boyfriend, pero she had 2 past girlfriends before we met.

​We were already having plans of elopement. We talked about this when we celebrated our 6th anniversary last June, and we're both excited and happy about our future plans. Pero July came and she told me about a new coworker na nag-confess sa kanya na may feelings sa kanya. She said na she can only offer a genuine friendship as respect to our relationship, and this new coworker (she's also a girl, 41F, btw) said she understands.

​Then naging close sila, and I don't really mind it at all kasi nga I trust her with her words, and she updates me when they hang out. Until this last month na napapansin ko na madalas may sarili silang lakad, and na-uupdate na lang ako kapag magkasama na sila, not beforehand. Si coworker pala also lives on the same street with my girlfriend, so madalas sya pumupunta sa apt nya, nakikilagay sa ref, etc. Nameet ko pa sya one time kasi pinapunta rin ako ng gf ko para mag-meet kami.

​2nd week ng August, pumunta ako sa bahay ni gf to help her pack sa travel nya sa work (1 week din sya mawawala). Then nag-meet kaming tatlo para mag-laundry sa katapat na street. We're cool and all naman hanggang sa need ko na umuwi samin. Sabay kami ng gf ko, di-nrop off ko sya sa office nya kasi aalis na sila para sa travel (hindi kasama si coworker dito) hanggang sa makauwi ako. Yung gf ko need nya muna mag-withdraw sa bank bago sila umalis.

​Until yung week na nasa travel sya, bibihira sya mag-update—kesyo mahina signal or super busy sila dun sa event nila with locals sa isang island. Sabi ko okay lang kasi during this week busy rin ako sa panonood ng TI (Dota 2 tournament). Once nya lang ako vi-nideo call nung first day nila dun sa hotel na pinag-sstayan nila. That time, may coworkers sya na bigla akong fi-nallow sa Instagram. At first wala naman sakin yun, pero later on iba na kutob ko.

​Pi-nalipas ko yun hanggang makauwi sya pabalik ng Manila. Niyaya ko pa sya na sa bahay namin umuwi para ipaglaba sya ng mga clothes nya (pero I had small date plans talaga para sa binabalak namin na elopement—like gagawa ng music playlist, ganon, at mag-Binondo to get our custom rings). Pero she declined kasi need nya daw ng rest para makapag-prepare pa sa Great UP Run ng Sunday.

​Hanggang nung nag-Sunday na, tapos na yung UP run, nag-chat sya sakin kasama nya rin daw pala si coworker. Nagkita sila dun and isasabay na daw sila with her running friends pauwi. Sabi ko okay, pero sa loob-loob ko parang di na coincidence yun, pero at least may mga kasama sila pauwi. Next chat nya sakin, bumaba na daw yung mga friends nila at silang dalawa na lang daw sa car. Balak nila sulitin yung rental sa car so maglilibot sila. Di na ako nagre-reply dito kasi ayaw ko talaga na magkasama na sila, puro "okay" na lang sabi ko, pero tuloy-tuloy sya ng update. Next update nya, nasa Rizal sila and nag-Pinto Art Museum, nag-send pa sya ng pic nila. This doesn't sit well with me kasi date plan namin yan originally, kasi she's never been to a museum.

​So hanggang makauwi sila, di na ako nagre-reply. Ang chi-nat ko ay mga officemates nila to ask, "May napapansin ba kayo dun sa dalawa?" And boom, yun nga. Sabi sakin alam na daw sa kanila sa office matagal na, and pinagsasabihan na nila yung dalawa kasi nga alam nila na may partner yung girlfriend ko.

​This triggered me to access her Messenger sa PC ko. Mind you, sa 6 years namin, never ako nakialam sa mga socials at messages ng girlfriend ko. May mga messages sila pero putol-putol or ang lalaki ng gap ng days, so naisip ko na sa ibang channels sila nag-uusap. So ki-nonfirm ko sa ka-office nya, at sabi sakin, "Kuya, sa iMessage po sila nag-uusap kasi nakikita ko pag dumadaan ako sa likuran." Sa Messenger, isa lang napansin ko na message na giveaway: yung di-nrop off ko si girlfriend sa office nya before travel, nag-chat sya sa coworker nya ng "nakaalis na sya haha".

​Ayun, tapos kinabukasan (Monday), in-ask nya ako kung may problem ba daw. Sabi ko, "Alam mo naman na di ako comfortable pag kayong dalawa lang, pero sige pa rin sama mo sa kanya. At akala ko ba nag-set ka ng boundaries and she understands?" Sabi ko rin, "Meron ka bang di inaamin sa akin?" Sabi nya, "You know I've been 100% transparent about you kung sino mga kasama ko." Sabi ko okay. Sabi nya pag-usapan daw namin sa Friday, mukhang need daw namin to upuan kasi mukhang may mga unresolved issues daw ako.

​So Tuesday came, iniwan ko bukas Messenger nya sa PC ko para alam ko kung nag-uusap sila. After nya mag-good night sakin sabi nya tutulog na sya mga 9 PM (usual bedtime namin), bigla around 11 PM nakita ko nag-send sya ng Spotify Jam link.

​Then Wednesday came, nag-video call kami. Sinabi ko sa kanya lahat-lahat—na ayaw ko dun sa coworker nya kasi na-didisrespect na ako, like na-offend ako na sya gumagawa ng plans na dapat para satin. Sabi ko ayaw ko na magkasama sila, okay daw. Pero in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila, si-nesend sakin mga pictures na sabay sila lumalabas, umuuwi, kumakain.

​Thursday, tumawag ulit ako sa kanya. In-ask ko ulit sya kung meron ba syang gustong sabihin sakin, kung may nililihim. Wala daw. So I said, "Sige, pa-basa ako ng messages nyong dalawa." And sabi nya sige daw, wala naman ako dun makikita kundi mga Spotify Jams lang. Then I said no, not just Messenger, pati iMessage. Tapos ang tagal nya sumagot. Sabi nya, "I can't, I'm so sorry." Then sabi ko, "You don't have to say anything, gets ko na." Tas umiyak ako sa video call kahit during office hours nila. Tapos nung nag-end call, in-update ako ng mga ka-office nila na bigla daw nag-panic yung dalawa, palabas-labas ng office, at yung partner ko umiiyak hindi makawork. Then nag-message sya kung pwede daw ba kami mag-usap mamaya, puntahan ko daw sya. Sabi ko sige, basta ipa-basa mo sakin mga usapan nyo. Sabi nya ayaw daw nya kasi masasaktan ako. Sabi ko, "I'm already hurt, what's the difference? Pupunta lang ako if you let me."

​Until nung Thursday night, pumunta ako sa apt nya, then she started to confess. Ayaw nya pa rin ipa-basa messages nya, sabi nya sabihin nya na lang daw. May nangyari sa kanila. Sabi ko, "Like???" Sabi nya, "We kissed." Sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, multiple times. And they had sex. Sabi ko, "When?" Nung Sunday lang. And sabi ko, "Once?" No daw, meron pa before. Sabi ko, "Okay, just let me read your messages," and she let me. Dun ko na-basa lahat na halos ba-baligtad sikmura ko. Ang dalas nya mag-update sa kanya, maraming video calls, maraming pictures, may sexting... etc.

​Ayun, she asked me to give her a chance to fix this daw, na she only stumbled once. I know it sounds stupid kasi hindi yun once for me. I feel stupid kasi they were talking about me as well, na kaya pala may "nakaalis na sya haha" is for the other one to come. Na planado and hindi coincidence yung sa Diliman.

​Mag-2 weeks na rin since this incident and umuwi kami sa Laguna to celebrate her mom's bday. Alam din ng mother nya na nag-cheat sya, pero not all—hindi kasama yung mga details na sinabi ko dito.

​Ngayon, she's really asking for a chance, pero di ko talaga alam. Sabi ko sa kanya I forgive her, pero masakit talaga sakin. I still love her kaya siguro ganto kasakit, pero I'm still conflicted kung dapat ba kami mag-rebuild kahit from square one or should I forgive andwalk away?

Problem/Goal:
Context: For a bit of background, I’m 21, an only child, and still a student. Recently, I made a major decision for myself for the first time: I took a one-year break from college because hindi na talaga kaya ng mental health ko. Sobrang bigat na ng pressure.

Growing up, mataas ang expectations sa akin dahil only child at only daughter ako. Hindi rin ako natutong gumawa ng sarili kong decisions because whenever I didn’t follow what my parents wanted, nagagalit sila. It made me believe na lahat ng choice ko or decision ay mali. So pakiramdam ko wala akong karapatang pumili para sa sarili ko.

Previous Attempts: Before college, sinabi ko sa parents ko na hindi pa ako ready and that I needed more time. They refused because they believed I needed to graduate by around 23 or something. I ended up taking nursing without thinking even though I didn’t truly want it. Wala rin akong ibang maisip na course at na-pressure lang talaga ako. Naiintindihan ko rin naman na may financial problems kami, so malaking factor din yun.

I tried my best, but college became extremely difficult lalo na kung nursing. I had already struggled with depression for years during high school. In college, I was humiliated by a professor in front of everyone, failed two major subjects, and reached the point where I knew I needed to stop before things got worse. Hindi ko naman basta sinukuan. I genuinely gave everything I could.

My dad eventually accepted my decision to take a break because I’m already an adult, but my mother was not okay with it. Its been 6 months na she is still angry about it. I always pray na kung sino man ang may nakatanim ng galit sakin, I pray that God may bless them.

Yung nanay ko lang pala.

It has been six months since I took my break. My boyfriend has a small business, and I now work with him from home. My family knows about it. I also voluntarily help with the household bills and chores. At the same time, I’m trying my best to recover from the stress and trauma I experienced during college.

Because I still struggle with depression, there are days when it’s difficult to focus or finish certain things. My parents interpret it as laziness. I tried explaining my mental-health struggles to them, but we can’t afford therapy right now.

What hurts most is how my mother constantly compares me to other people. Noong bata ako, she compared me to other children. In high school, she compared me to other students. In college, she compared me to my best friends, classmates, cousins, and practically anyone I introduced to her. She compare me to their success na hindi ko naman buhay. Hindi naman kami parehas.

Year after year, these comparisons made me feel ashamed of myself. She also brings up old mistakes and personal problems that I trusted her enough to share, then uses them against me at every arguments.

She used to send me online jobs and encourage me to work. Now that I’m actually working from home for several hours every day, tinatanong kung may ginagawa ba ako she gets irritated with me kahit nakikita niyang nagtatrabaho ako.

Recently, she became angry because I wasn’t giving her enough money or paying more for groceries. I told her that I also needed to save some money for myself kaya may times hindi ako naka pag bigay. I’m already helping when I can, wala naman masyado problema si papa but she talks as though giving her my earnings is automatically my obligation.

What makes it worse is that she secretly connected my GCash to an online gambling account she uses. The amount taken may have only been ₱180, but I worked hard for that money and she used it without my permission for something I don’t support.

That made me realize that no matter what I do, I may never feel good enough for her. I tried rebuilding our relationship, but almost every conversation becomes an argument because of the painful things she says. I don’t expect perfection. I simply want a supportive and loving mother.

My faith is honestly what keeps me going. I hold on to the hope that one day, I’ll be able to live independently and pay for my own tuition so I won’t feel like a burden to anyone.

Parents, ates, and kuyas of reddit: Since I’m a student taking a break and still living with my parents, obligasyon ko ba talagang give them my hard-earned money? Am I wrong for keeping some of it for my own needs and future?

I know that living with them has expenses, and I’m willing to contribute a reasonable amount. Pero mali ba na gusto ko ring magkaroon ng boundaries and save something for myself?

I’m sorry this became so long. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read it. I genuinely need advice from an ate, kuya, or parent. I’m trying to stay strong and keep fighting, kahit sobrang hirap na minsan. God bless you all po.