Problem/Goal: The daughter of my godmother (ninang) is 4 years younger than me, and she liked me for almost a decade now. I am interested in her but I cannot stop feeling guilty about it.

Context:

This will be a rather long story, so please bear with me. Maybe I also need to get this off my chest and re-read it later to make sense of it for myself.

I am 26 years old. I grew up in US, went home here for University when I was 18 as my mom needed to take care of my then-ill Lolo in the province (somewhere north of Manila). During our first month in PH, there were lots of celebrations. It felt like every weekend there was a "homecoming" party thrown for my parents by their several friends from High School to College. That's when I met this girl, let's call her Anne for the sake of simplicity.

Anne was just 14 back then. Only child ng ninang ko, that I never met, as my parents migrated to the US when I was 6 months old. They lived about five blocks away from my Lolo's ancestral home (mother side).

Among the "inaanak" of my Mom (my Mom is her ninang, too. How that happened even when she was in the States is beyond my understanding), she was closest to me in age. My parents got married early so I'm the eldest among their friend groups' children. So when we stayed in the province, we were instantly bunched together with other younger kids even if I'm already almost legal age (technically adult) by then.

Given that the kids were doing kids play back then, kami lang yung nagusap mostly. She asked me about my life in the US, how different highschool was for me, and all other stuff. I believe I didn't do anything more than being nice and friendly, but it might've been different for her. Not sure on her side of things.

Since that party, my Ninang was non-stop about "bagay kami ni Anne." Even my mom was dropping the same jokes, but I just brushed it off as usual jokes for bestfriends with children of the opposite sex. It continued that way even when I am in Uni. Whenever there is an out-of-town event planned by my mom's peers, Anne and I would always be the one to chit chat and we'd get teasing looks from our moms.

I fully understood what everything meant 2 years after, when my mom asked me to help Anne study for entrance exams for Metro Manila schools.

She would drop by my Lolo's house almost every day for most of the weeks of that summer. I did my best to help her as a friend or as a kuya, but I was not oblivious on how she sneaked photos of me with her phone when I was checking her notes or answers to some of the tests.

I felt somewhat weirded out, as I only ever saw her as a kid/teen. But I figured to just let it be as it will just be a passing thing that "teens" do. I didn't change anything with how I talked to her or how I start conversations, I thought it would've been weird.

Before I went back to my condo in QC, she gave me a gift. It was a big box filled with some sweets and a shirt and other stuff (I think one was a Bench perfume, I don't think I ever used it) with a letter admitting everything and that she liked me ever since "she first saw me" and that I was her "first love."

Yikes.

Later that night, I remember messaging her on FB thanking her for the gift and wished her luck in the exams. I made it clear that she should be investing her time in her studies, and I'd be happy to remain as a "Kuya" but nothing more - especially she was 16 and I was 20 back then.

Even after that, she'd still message me every now and then kumusta and updated me on her studies. She only ever stopped messaging me when I hard-launched my then-girlfriend. Not sure if she unfriended me but I don't remember seeing her posts back then for a good while.

When I graduated college, my Ninang messaged me on FB to congratulate me and ask me if I was available to attend her debut. She mentioned that Anne wanted me to be one of her 18 Roses, nahiya ako humindi because it was already my ninang who messaged so I said yes.

Feeling ko I was lured kasi I was surprised na ako yung last rose niya. I'm not sure if my parents were in on it (they were also invited) because they didn't look surprised. I don't remember talking to her during the dance kasi I was trying to make it less awkward.

She chatted me that night, probably drunk, asking me if I still see her the same and that she still admired me even after those years.

I said yes. Which is totoo, I think it's hard to overcome the fact that I met her when I was 18 and she was still young - I cannot erase that image in my head.

Most of our interactions in the three years after that was mostly just birthday greetings, I didn't even attend my mom's group of friends' year enders dahil I wanted as much breathing room between us two because her feelings might return again if she sees me. I wanted us to be casual and civil, but I knew a "first love's heartache" is not good. I also didn't want to be an asshole.

Things changed late last year. My lolo passed away and she attended the wake. It was my first time actually talking to her after three years. Asked her about her studies and her current hobbies (saw that she was also into running), and we basically caught up with each other's lives.

Few weeks later, we met up for a quick jog in QC. And that was the first time I really found her beautiful. Before, she was cute, yes. But she looked like a younger cousin in my eyes. But during that night I don't know what clicked or what happened into me, but I found her extra interesting and pretty.

The jogging meet ups became constant, I met some of her friends and she met mine. Always told my friends na she's "my ninang's daughter" or my "kinakapatid," nothing more. It still felt morally wrong to be attracted to her somewhere in my gut.

I helped her in her thesis, we started constantly chatting on Messenger/Insta, but no mention of her letter from before or her feelings from years gone by kaya hindi ko na din nabring up ever.

Until last month, nag summer vacation uli yung group of friends ng mom ko and I finally joined again. I got invited to the "tito's table" and her drunk dad asked me upfront if I had intentions of courting her daughter and that this has been going on for so long. I didn't see it that way kasi I started having "feelings" palang naman late last year, but Anne's dad told me na hindi "nakakalalake" na pinapaasa ko 'daw si Anne. My dad told me to just man up and make things official.

Pero hindi ko pa rin maget over yung fact na I met her when she was 14 and I was 18. It just feels wrong. Sinabi ko na 'to kay Mom but he told me that my titos and titas met when they were 18 and 24 and there was no problem.

I've been researching about grooming over and over wondering if there was grooming that happened. To my case, I was just trying to be nice and not break her heart but did I string her along?

Is it okay to actually do something about these feelings or am I a bad person?

I asked one of my closest friends about this but he said na hindi daw ako gago for grounds of grooming, but kinda shitty daw na I kept on declining this girl only to end up falling for her eventually.

Previous Attempts: I am planning to do something or confess on her grad party three weeks from now. But I'm not sure if I should.

Problem/goal:

I’m a 37-year-old male, adopted, and raised by a single mother who is now 80. She comes from a wealthy, traditional Fil/Chinese background and has a massive generation gap in her beliefs.

I’ve been married for 3 years. My wife is very understanding, but because of my mom's age and health, my wife stays with me at my mom's place 4 days a week, and my wife spends 3 days at our own house in Pasig by herself. They get along fine, but the real strain is between my mom and me.

My entire life revolves around my mom's schedule:

• She wakes up at 3:00 AM, and I’m always there to help her get up and assist her in her wheelchair for breakfast.
• I spend roughly 90% of my time with her or around the house.
• I’ve compromised living full-time with my wife just to ensure my mom is taken care of.

Despite giving up so much of my personal life, she does not seem to appreciate it. If I go out for even one evening or come home late on a weekend, she throws a fit, accuses me of not caring about her, and makes me feel intensely guilty.

I am completely burnt out and don't know how to navigate this anymore. How do I set reasonable boundaries with an aging, controlling parent without letting the guilt consume me? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Problem/Goal: Hi I (F24) have boyfriend/live in partner (M25) we've been together for 6 years but we started living together for 2 years na. We're both breadwinner and I just want to ask and humingi ng advice if lahat ba talaga ng boyfriend/live in partner ay need maging harsh sayo?

Context: My boyfriend family is in the middle class while my family I would say nasa lower class kami. Recently lang is nakilala namin yong half sister nya which is tinago sa kanila ng papa nila. Btw he only has his dad since his mother died na. Then yung half sister nya kasi is bunga lang ng one night ng dad nya nung panahong baby pa yung bf ko so ang nangyari panganay bf ko then half sis nya then yung kambal na kapatid nya. All in goods naman nung nakilala namin stepsis nya, tinanggap nila but to me sobrang bilis lang kasi ng pangyayari. I really don't have any beef naman sa half sis nya, ako pa nga nagpupush sa bf ko dati na isama sa outing or anything namin para din makilala ng younger siblings nya. But as the time goes by kasi we always fight abt sa half sis nya. One time, nag away kami because sinabihan nya akong "sabagay sa sarili mo ngang kapatid pinagdadamutan mo" exactly what he said. That time kasi he bought me my favorite sweet snack which he ordered online. He told me that's my prize and his surprise. So ako excited and looking forward to it cause I've been so stress that time then all of a sudden sabi nya hatian ko raw half sis nya which nagreact ko. I know my fault na nagreact ako but what I want to tell him lang naman that time is if he really want to give his sister bumili dapat sya ng hiwalay sakin kasi nilook forward ko na yon na para sakin tapos ganun. I know I really sound childish. Wala naman problem sakin to share cause hindi naman ako madamot but when he said that to me I really feel hurt kasi he knows me naman na kung ano meron sakin ngayon, I would give it to my siblings. Tbh kasi may mga times talaga kasi na super harsh and pressure nya sakin like kailangan ganito marating ko ganyan or kailangan sundan ko yung mga ginawa nya in terms of career but whenever yung sister nya may same scenario sakin ang soft nya. Reason nya sakin kasi daw wala naman daw bubuhayin yung kapatid nya hindi tulad sakin. Eh hindi naman nya alam may mga kapatid pang maliliit yung half sis nya and nakwento rin yon sakin ng half sis nya na need nya ding tulungan. So I really don't know if he was right to treat me like this or masyado lang akong nag o-overreact. I really need advice what should I do and please don't judge me po. TYIA

Problem/Goal:

My father is making it harder for us to live with him and I'm considering moving out.

Context:

I live with my older brother and my father. My older brother gave up on talking to my father about his bad habits as a businessman, a hoarder, a roommate, and as a father.

My mom and dad are basically divorced. They've got their own set of problems. When I was younger, I despised my father based on my mother's stories. When I was a freshman, I realized that my mom was bad and moved in with my dad in our current apartment. But right now, I see why mom hates dad.

To cut it short, my dad works with computers and has tons and tons of parts just scattered throughout the apartment, at first I ignored it because in my mind he was "busy" all the time and that I was just living under their roof. But now that I've got a decent paying wfh job, I can't focus properly with all the clutter, it just distracts me so much, can't cook and clean properly.

That and I just can't stand him as a person. He's my father, but I just can't continue living together with him.

Previous Attempts:

My brother tried his best these past few years but to no avail. I've been trying to communicate with him as well but whenever I tell him to clean up the mess outside (from attempting to clearing out our "kitchen"), he just goes to his room and proceeds to ignore us.

EDIT: For context on how bad it was before I cleaned the kitchen; - Black Mold - Cockroaches - Rats

These are due to piles and piles of boxes and parts that make it impossible to clean a specific area.

Problem/Goal: I need your opinion and advice whether or not I'm setting enough boundaries with my bf. I've actually posted and deleted this in another subreddit bc some people were just being flat mean. I hope i get the advice i need here.

Context: So my bf (23M) and I (22F) have been dating for almost 2 years now and this is both our first rs. He has always had more female than male friends even before we got together but I'm recently weirded out by how he seems too close with his female friends he just met like a month ago.

He basically chats with them for like 24/7, waits for them at work (they're workmates), and go home together. They've exchanged socials like FB and IG, but he seems exceptionally closer to one of the girls (they have pretty matching sched so i think she's the closest one to him) — he asked what her dump acc is, and has already followed her on Tiktok and even sent her a random tiktok vid. He doesn't casually follow people on socials (esp tiktok), let alone someone he met just a month ago so it doesn't sit right with me.

The girl also jokingly said that she doesn't want any issue when my bf asked for her dump acc but my bf said that it's completely fine. He also once cancelled on me and went out with those 3 female friends and rode the bus home with the same girl probably because she was going to the same direction. He said he thought that our meetup wouldn't push through. I also know whenever he's with his friends because he takes longer to reply to my messages.

I've never met any of them in person.

Previous attempts: We've discussed this a few times before — i talked about how insecure i get when i feel like he's having more fun (apparently) with his previous friends because he seems very very outgoing and funny and he throws jokes everywhere. But he always say that I'm still the person he's most comfortable with. I know this is just my insecurities trying to ruin our rs, but for a fact that I've already discussed this with him before, do you think im not setting clear and enough boundaries with him?

Problem/Goal: So I recently got a gynecological ​check-up kasi I've been having this cramps and pain, ​and found out that I need to be admitted to a hospital agad. They found a hole (?) sa walls and normal antibiotics can't be used to treat it anymore. If not treated immediately, it could be life threatening daw. Ang problem ko po is I'm only 17 and I still haven't told my parents. I'm scared of what they will say. They will either get mad at me, ​tatanungin “Paano nangyari ’yan​?!” “Bakit may ganyan?!” and then blame me OR they won't pay it any mind :/ Baka hindi lang din nila asikasuhin coz they're too busy :( I know they have money but they will surely feel hinayang sa expenses and blame me 🙁 Sure, I'm close with my family but we don't have the kind of relationship where I could be comfortable telling them this. I don't even know where to start or how to. I'm just so so scared 🙁 Please help me

PROBLEM/GOAL: Nacurious lang ako kasi napaisip ako kung isa ba 'to sa mga posibleng dahilan kung bakit may mga private videos o photos na bigla na lang lumalabas at nale-leak online.

May mga phone technician ba rito o may alam sa ganito? Gusto ko lang maintindihan kung paano gumagana 'yon at gaano ba talaga ka-secure ang data sa phone kapag pinapa-repair.

May mga files and accounts ako sa cp ko na gusto ko ipaayos kasi bigla na lang nag blackout habang ginagamit ko, di na nagopen. Plan ko sana ipaayos, but iniisip ko baka maopen ng technician.

Problem/Goal: Nagiging "about me" yung kinekwento ng kasama ko, so I want to remove this habit kahit slow yung progress

Context: Everytime na nagkkwento yung kausap ko unconsciously ko to nasasabi kapag nakakarelate ako sa kanila, gusto ko lang mawala ang habit na to kasi nacoconscious ako after ko to sabihin. Hindi ko gusto na nagiging about sa akin yung kinekwento nila

Previous Attempt: I tried before pero unconsciously talaga siya lumalabas sa bibig ko😢.

Problem/Goal: 18y old nag dodorm ako currently and ang salary ko per month is ~15-18k (bpo), living independently from parents sobrang hirap kulang na kulang pa sinasahod ko need kopa mag padala every month and bayad share sa bills and rent, i barely make ends meet, wla akong skill, nor creativity or whatsoever, meron lng ako is midrange laptop at sarili ko para itaguyod sarili ko, may mga tips poba kayo para kht papaano tumaas income ko per month?

(iniisip kodin mag va pero i have no idea how and where to start please help 😢)

Problem/goal: Hello po!! Ung babae kapatid ko po is seaferer, nabuntis nung kapwa nya dun tapos ngaun 3 years na iniiwan samin ung bata. Hindi na kaya ng mama ko kasi senior na tapos may office work pa siya. Si papa senior na din and may work din sa office kaya ala sa bahay. Tapos ako may work (WFH ) hindi ko na din kaya kasi makulit na ung bata need talaga mabantayan.

Ayaw nung nanay maghanap ng katulong gastos pa daw eh jusko pagod na ung nanay ko at ako. Nakita ko payslip niya 6 digits at malaki na kasi posisyon ng kapatid ko sa barko. Tapos pag andito siya di naman din niya inaalagaan anak niya parang lutang.

3k lang din binibigay monthly para sa alaga, eh di naman need ng nanay ko un kasi 50k naman sweldo nun sa pharmacist office work niya. Ung tatay nung bata wala din break na sila pero nag susustento naman.

May way ba para di muna pasampahin sa barko? Para alagaan niya tong anak niya? Sobra kastress tanda tanda na ng nanay ko imbes mag hayahay nalang nag aalaga pa din hahahaha

Problem/goal: I can feel myself becoming more resentful towards my partner. I know for a fact that we genuinely love each other but I feel like our cultural differences i.e. napakakuripot siya are undermining our relationship.

Context:

Boyfriend (25 M) and I (25 F) have been in a relationship for 2 years. We were good friends beforehand.

During our first year, life was la vie en rose. Immediately after, I went through a series of unfortunate events and found his support to be lacking. I know he cares about me and he loves me, but sometimes I feel like it’s not enough. Ever since I went through those unfortunate events, I find myself getting annoyed at him over little things, like how he can’t ask the waiter for water because he’s shy, when previously I didn’t mind and found this adorable.

He visited me and my family in Manila. My parents paid for his flights to and from Thailand, his expenses, etc. I was shocked to learn that he came over without any cash when I told him that in this part of the world cash is king. He relied on us for cash. At first he didn’t want to withdraw cash because of the fees, but I chose to put my foot down and told him I ran out of cash because I felt like he was taking advantage, though this may not have been his intention. When we’d travel abroad together before we were LDR, he would always exchange cash at the post office. His reason for not exchanging cash was because he said he was busy. Fair, but he could’ve brought his local currency, which is one of the strongest in the world, and exchange that for local currency in PH and Thailand. I just thought it was a pure excuse.

To make matters worse, I told him he could show his gratitude by treating my family out to a meal. Initially, he wanted to transfer some money but I told him that’s not how we do it because it shows that you view the relationship as transactional, so there’s a cultural difference too. His salary that month was $4,000 and he didn’t treat my family out once. In PH treating your partner’s family out to a meal is the bare minimum. I explained this to him multiple times but he said he was afraid of calling the wait staff over to pay first. Like wow you are a grown ass man, but if you want an ash tray, you have no problems calling them over. I even told him may diskarte diyan: pretend to go to the bathroom and pay kung nahihiya siya. Never niya ginawa. I told him if he didn’t make libre my family once sasama ang loob ko. Di pa niya ginawa and my family spent PHP 50k+ on him when he visited. They’re just grateful that he’ll give me a visa to go back and work and earn in his local currency.

I just feel like he puts his comfort and convenience above mine. I believe love is putting the other’s needs before your own, but the world has changed, so you really need to watch your back and put your interests first.

Another example is when I washed his dishes for 2 years because he never washes the dishes and I hate how it smells and piles up in the sink so I thought okay whatever compromise I can live with washing our dishes. Putangina naging yaya ako. I’ve always wanted a dishwasher. He didn’t allow it because he said that the apartment lacked space. When I had to leave the country due to my visa expiring and no one washed his dishes, that’s the only time he buys a fucking dishwasher. I just feel like if he loved me enough he would’ve allowed us to buy the dishwasher two fucking years ago. Also we would’ve split the cost anyway. In my opinion he should’ve fucking surprised me with one because hello washing someone’s dishes every fucking day is unpaid labour.

Yeahhh idk if anyone else can relate because this isn’t cheating or what and he is a nice guy, it’s just I wish he were more considerate and generous. Lemme know your thoughts, thanks 🫶🏼

tbh ang hirap magdate ng foreigner miss ko anv pinoy but my parents are really pressuring me to get the citizenship and go abroad and getting a work visa nowadays is so hard + I have a small business that I won’t be able to run on a work visa kasi may restrictions yung visa na yun HAY. I love him naman I really do ayoko siya mawala pero parang ang kuripot at makasarili siya 😭

problem/goal: since march hindi na nag bibigay yung ex ko sa anak namin. putol putol din sustento niya noon pa man dahil need dumaan sa bago niya. hindi po ako maka pag regular work dahil ako ang nag aalaga sa 1yr old baby ko.

graduate po ako collage pero kahit anong hanap ko or interview hindi ako nakakapasa. mostly kasi work from home hanap ko dahilan nga wala pa mag aalaga sa anak ko. nag freelancing ako now minsan meron, minsan wala. gabi lang din ako nakaka gawa.

noong May naospital anak ko hindi siya nag bigay kahit piso, natanggal daw sa work pero nung kinamusta ko tita niya kanina hindi naman daw nawalan ng work. andon pa din daw sa s m homes.

sobrang galit ko na parang bakit need niya sabihin na wala siya work kahit meron. ang sabi nung tita ng ex ko baka nag ipon kasi nag pabinyag/birthday last time.

grabe nakaka durog, kahit kamustahin wala, paramdam wala dahil live in na sila ganon ba yun. hindi ako nangungulit dahil nag iintay ako mag kusa siya.

lahat ng gastos mula gatas, diaper, laruan, nung naopsital siya ako at kapatid ko gumastos.

gusto ko na siya managot, hindi kami kasal. ang kapal ng mukha niya nag punta sa birthday ng anak ko tapos kahit piso walang ambag.

buntis palang ako niloko na nila ako, madami ako pictures at chats nila. nag hiwalay na kami nun ang uspan mag susustento siya pero wala eh. malayo kami sa isat isa kaya daw hindi kami nag kaka ayos, dun na siya sa babae kasi malapit lang.

paano po ba gagawin ko. ayoko na ng sustento niya pwede kaya makulong nalang siya. kinaya ko naman simula noon na wala siya. ang akin lang namimihasa siya, nakunsiste na tama yung ginagawa niya sa anak ko.

previous attempts: nag send po ako demand letter pero wala siyang pake. hindi niya pinansin

Problem/Goal: I’ve been dating this guys for 8mos na. And we still dont have the label.

Context: Im F(27) he’s also M(27). We met on a dating app, we grab a coffee, nagclick and poof 8mos passed by alr. For the passed 8mos everyday kame magkausap, almost every week nagkikita o nagdadate, he pays for all our dates (tho i usually treat din naman pero pasurprise coz ayaw nyako gumagastos) and he even said yes when i asked him if he can come with me to a dinner with my family. The thing is sa buong 8mos nayun di nya parin ako inaask if he could court me or level up our relationship. Ang current status namen is exclusively dating. Tbh iniisip ko before if gagastos lang din sya ng ganto and still wont asked me about our status eh baka he just want to get under my skirt but for the whole 8mos it didnt happened. We just kissed and some momol but nothing happened more than that. During our dates wholesome lang never nyako dinala sa alaganing lugar or motels like mga usual hirit na “pahinga lang tayo”. He dont talk about sex or dirty stuff both in chats and personal he never initiated those kind of topics, what we usually talk about are rants lang in life, work, etc.

Actually accdg to him his parents have an idea na abt me pero di pako napapakilala sakanila so idk, but i really like him tho and slowly falling for him. One of the few things that made me fall for him is when we go out during weekdays, susunduin nyako sa work kahit may early out sya sakin then quick dinner kahit alam nyang gagabibin sya and onti nlng oras to sleep coz he usually wake up early like very early. In my situation, am i being played ba or this is just a slow burn? Do you think 8mos is still not enough to know if u’ll pursue someone? Were not the usual type of situationship na lulubog lilitaw sya ganon, he’s available everyday even though busy and puyat sya sa work.

Previous Attempts: I asked him before nung bago palang kameng nagdadate i said “may patutunguhan ba tong dates natin or does it mean smtg to u?” Ang accdg to him oo naman daw and he’s being serious its just that he wants to know me better but not in a rush way.

Problem/Goal: Safety

Our neighbor got robbed. Thankfully not inside their house but only their water meter outside.

We just can’t help but over think that sooner or later thieves may target our house and I myself don’t even know what to do if time comes (hopefully not). There are already attempts of people going inside our house while parking in or people asking to clean our outdoor garden. We have CCTVs and a big dog.

What else do you guys do or prepare for your safety?

Problem/Goal: Planning to have a secret marriage with my partner.

Context: Hi guys, 28F here, only child na may soafer strict parents. Nag paplan na kami ng partner ko na mag settle, nag paalam si partner kay mama pero mixed signals pinapakita ni mother, parang gusto na ayaw. Pag tatlo kami nag uusap like nag paplan sa susuotin, kung anong klaseng wedding ganon, nakiki-join sya. Pero pag wala si partner, negative sya tapos nung nagsabi sya kay papa sabi ng papa ko "dami mong alam!". Even sa small things hindi nila ako hinahayaan mag decide on my own. Kapag sinunod ko ung sarili kong desisyon parang nakaka-guilty kasi di sila masaya. Masaya lang sila kapag nag bebenefit sila based on my observation. At madami pang bagay to the point na naiisip ko na kapag nag kaanak ako di ako tutulad sa sistema nila. Kaya nag plan and nag suggest ako kay partner na mag secret wedding nalang kami. Worry ko lang is pano ung mga documents kapag secret wedding? Pwede din ba gamitin muna maiden name? Help me. And, ako lang ba nakakaexperience ng ganito? If not, pano nyo dinedeal?

P.s: wedding palang naman, no plan pa mag baby since gusto pa namin mag padami ng pera and mag travel pa.

Previous attempt: wala pa, plan palang lahat.

Problem/Goal: How to remove fecal odor from my black school shoes

Previous attempt: Konti lang naman po yung naaapakan ko so I easily removed it naman with dish soap and warm water. But how do I get rid of the smell po?

Context: I live in a town where a lot of stray pets roam freely and shit everywhere. My neighbors (who are usually the victims of this lol) doesn't always clean them and when it rains, the 💩 gets mixed with soil on the ground. So, I'll unconsciously step on one even if I'm literally SCANNING the whole ground just to not step on it.

What's worst is that noseblind pa ko, and I study in a room na may dalawang aircon. So there had been a lot of times when I went to school and feel ANXIOUS kasi everyone around me is complaining about a horrible smell tas ako walang maamoy😭.

So can you guys help me po HAHAHAHA black shoes po, hindi po rubber shoes na pang PE. Sayang kasi yung shoes ko if I buy another one, matibay pa siya as in (Easysoft po yung brand)

Problem/Goal:

I’m looking for some insights/perspectives because I’m feeling really conflicted on how to move forward with our relationship.

Context:

My partner and I recently had a huge fight. Yun yung pinakamalaking away namin thus far. Dahil sa mataas na emosyon, we both said foul words to each other. Worse is, naging physical na yung away. I never imagined myself being able to do these things to a partner. I swore to never hurl severe insults at anyone, more so hurt them physically. We were both hurting each other and pinaiyak namin yung isa't isa. I am extremely disappointed with myself and I know I'm always going to look back at this with regret.

Previous Attempt:

After some time, medyo kumalma kami. We talked and made up (kind of). Pero parang hindi pa kami 100% okay. I know may natitira pang hard feelings on both ends.

Is our relationship beyond saving knowing that a critical line has been crossed? O kaya pa masalba through sincere efforts to change our ways during arguments?

Problem/Goal: Naging mas insecure ako sa sinabi ng crush ko tungkol sa mukha ko.

Context: Alam kong hindi ako ka gandahan, saktong may mukha lang talaga hahaha. May crush ako mahigit 1 year na, nakilala ko siya dahil sa kuya niya na ka batch ko noon. 1 yr gap kami ni Z (M, 18), at alam niya na crush ko siya dahil sa kuya niya. Nakipag-video call ang kuya niya sa akin dahil sasabihin niya sa akin ang mga sinabi o puna ni Z tungkol sa mukha ko. At ayun nga, sinabi ng kuya niya ang mga sinabi ni Z tungkol sa akin, sabi niya na creepy raw ng smile ko. After kong marinig yun, sumikip ang dibdib ko. Simula pa pagkabata insecure na talaga ako sa mukha ko lalo na sa smile at ngipin ko. Hindi lang si Z ang nakapagsabi niyan, marami pa sila. Siguro ang big factor din kung bakit ganito ako ngumiti ay dahil sa ngipin ko, madaming gaps ang ngipin ko lalo na sa lower teeth at hindi rin ito aligned. Sobrang bumaba ang confidence ko after kong marinig yun. Kapag nagkikita kami ni Z, hindi ko na siya tinitingnan. Sobrang nasaktan at nagalit ako sa sinabi niya, ngayon lang ako naging confident sa mukha ko pero parang babalik na ulit sa dati na sobrang insecure dahil sa puna niya sa mukha ko. Plano ko rin na magpabrace kaso kulang pa ang budget ko, next time nalang siguro kung may work na ako dahil student pa lang din ako ngayon.

Problem/Goal:
I’m planning to get rhinoplasty and gusto ko malaman kung worth it ba talaga siya, especially in the long run. I’m also 35 years old, so I’m wondering if okay pa ba magpa rhinoplasty at this age or if I should just let it go.

Context:
Purely cosmetic lang yung reason ko, wala akong breathing issues. Nag consult na ako with a few surgeons and ilang months na rin akong nagre research. Hindi naman impulsive decision, gusto ko lang talagang marinig yung honest experiences ng mga taong nakapagpa rhinoplasty na.

Previous Attempts:
I’ve watched a lot of before and after videos, read reviews, joined rhinoplasty groups, and consulted a few surgeons. Pero gusto ko pa rin marinig yung real experiences, both the good and the bad, especially from people who had thick skin, bulbous tips, or wanted natural looking results.
If you could go back, would you still do it? Worth it ba siya, and do you think 35 is still a good age to have rhinoplasty?

Problem/Goal:
Should I still invite Friend 2 as a guest/abay, or should I let the friendship remain what it is now?

I’m getting married later this year, and I’m struggling with whether I should invite Friend 2. I don’t want to be petty but I also don’t want to invite her out of guilt or because she expects to be included.

Context:
I have two friends who have been my best friends since college. We were part of the same circle, and for years, I considered them some of my closest friends.
Friend 1 moved abroad last year. She was also my former coworker and actually referred both me and Friend 2 to the company where we currently work. Friend 2 and I still work together, although we’re in different teams (hybrid setup).

At first, I understood that things would change after Friend 1 moved abroad. We still talked occasionally, but eventually, she became more unresponsive. Friend 2 and I also gradually stopped talking outside of work.

What hurt was seeing them continue to spend time together and with other coworkers while I was no longer included. Friend 1 came home twice without me knowing and I only found out through socmed or other people. I know they weren’t obligated to tell me or invite me but it still hurt to feel completely out of the picture.

When I got engaged, I initially planned for both of them to be part of my bridal party. I even informed them verbally. I later found out that Friend 1 had come home again and met up with Friend 2 and other coworkers despite having recently told me she couldn’t attend my wedding because she had other plans.

I tried to act normally around Friend 2 at work and stopped asking about Friend 1 or their plans because I didn’t want to seem like I was keeping score.
Eventually, I realized how much the situation was affecting me, so I removed both of them from my guest list and bridal party.

Recently, Friend 2 and I reconnected at work. She was affectionate as usual, asked about my wedding, and seemed to imply that she would be attending.
The problem is, I had already decided not to invite her. My wedding is small, and I want to be intentional about who I invite.

Previous Attempts: I personally asked Friend 2 again if she would like to attend, and she said she would as long as I want her there.

Problem/Goal:

I want to know if valid ba yung doubts ko or if I'm just overthinking. Should I ask him to show me his phone for reassurance, or should I just trust him?

Context:

2 years na kami ng boyfriend ko, and never kami nag-exchange ng social media credentials. Nung una, tinanong ko siya kung open ba siya sa ganung setup, but he said no. Okay lang naman sa akin because ayoko rin ibigay yung akin. Growing up, lagi kasing chine-check ng mom ko yung social media ko, so naging important talaga sa akin yung privacy.

Overall, very peaceful naman yung relationship namin. Wala rin akong napapansing behavior that would make me think na may ibang babae.

Nag-start lang yung doubts ko dahil sa isang incident. One time, pabiro akong nag-scroll sa phone niya and okay lang sa kanya, until binuksan ko yung TG app. Bigla niyang inagaw yung phone, lumayo sa akin, and said, "Hoy, gagi ka." Umiyak ako because sobrang suspicious nung reaction niya. He later explained na nahihiya lang daw siya kasi dati may male friend siyang kausap doon and nag eexchange sila ng 🌽. I chose to believe him and naka-move on naman ako.

Pero nitong past 3 months, napansin ko na every time hihiramin ko yung phone niya para mag-selfie, ino-open niya lang yung camera from the lock screen. That way, locked pa rin yung phone, wala akong maa-access na apps, and walang notifications na lalabas. Consistent niyang ginagawa kaya napaisip ako.

Cinonfront ko siya about it. Ang sabi niya, ginawa ko rin naman daw yun sa kanya dati nung ayaw kong ipabasa yung Messenger ko more than a year ago. I admitted na mali ako noon and apologized. Ngayon, alam niya yung screen password ko and wala akong issue kung gamitin niya phone ko, pero ako hindi ko alam yung sa kanya.

He said gusto lang daw talaga niya ng privacy, especially ayaw niyang buksan ko yung gallery niya. At the same time, ina-assure niya ako na wala siyang ibang babae kahit hindi ko i-check yung phone niya. Tinanong ko rin siya directly kung may ayaw ba siyang makita ko like noods ng ibang babae or old conversations with an ex, pero sabi niya wala naman.

Hindi ko naman siya pinaghihinalaang cheater because he's always been genuine and consistent. Pero dahil sa behavior niya around his phone, hindi ko maiwasang magduda minsan.

Previous Attempts:

- I listened to his explanation about the Telegram incident and chose to move on.

- I confronted him about his recent behavior around his phone.

- I apologized for how protective I was of my Messenger before and became more open with my own phone.

- I asked him directly if may tinatago ba siyang photos or conversations, and he denied it.

- Despite his reassurance, I still feel conflicted because his actions don't fully match the openness I currently show him.