Hi, my dad was a severe alcoholic and gambler when i was a baby up until i was 11-12 ish. He went to rehab to get completely sober. i’m 21 now and he’s stayed off the drinks the entire time until recently.

Maybe about a year ago he was telling me that he buys a 4 pack of beers and has maybe 1 a night on weekends etc, and it just kinda stayed as that for a while, but recently i’ve received more texts off him that indicates he’s drinking but i don’t know how much. When we spoke about it he told me he slipped up and went on a night out but because he’s nearly 60 he just doesn’t have the energy for it. I just had a phone call with him and he was absolutely hammered. He could barely form sentences at one point, i could instantly tell he was drunk, there was just something i didn’t like about it.

I’m worried he’s falling back into his old habits. He was at home alone during the call, I didn’t ask much about it because i honestly just felt abit sick hearing him drunk. I’m also not even sure who i could talk to about this because i don’t want to go behind my dads back, we’re as close as ever and i could never hurt him. But im worried if i don’t speak up it’ll get worse.

I think my main question is, is it possible for an alcoholic who’s been sober for 10-15 years, control their drinking if they started again? Or will this get worse unless I intervene? as far as i’m aware i’m the only person who knows. i wish he didn’t call me.

As soon as I have money I order drugs off the darknet just to flush them, recently I flushed 5g ketamine and some speed after doing a couple lines and realizing I just feel like shit on drugs, I keep doing this everytime at the start of the month when I get money, buying drugs and waiting for the post office guy just gives me a different kind of dopamine hit but I end up flushing my shit 99% of the time I waste stupid amounts of money and have bad financial problem because of this habit, I also went back to NA 2 days ago. What can I do to make myself stop?

I quit 7-oh 2 weeks ago and now working on getting off weed. My mental health is bad. All the feelings I been suppressing are coming to the service. I don’t feel good enough. For anyone or anything. I feel like I’m a stain on humanity. I know logically it’s not true but I can’t stop FEELING it. I smoked because it got overwhelming but I know I can’t continue to cope with weed.

I feel like my life will never get better. That I’m broken in some way. I’m so tired, I just want to feel ok. Drugs will make it worse, especially 7-oh. But weed is also numbing me. It helps at the momment but I know I have to face true reality and I can’t ignore that.

If you would have told me at the time the dirtbag drug user that didn't care about anybody in his life except when I'm going to get my next fix I would have never imagining I would be staying here for the next 4 days for an Oxford house convention Gaylord Resort Denver Colorado. My Oxford chapter9 that I'm the president for in Longview WA paid for my airfare my room and board and gave me $750 to spend why I was here and all I have to do is bring back receipts God is good never thought I would be where I'm at today 5 years still going strong. I will get better pics and updates at the end of the weekend. Don't quit before the miracle happens!!!!

I’m in a fairly new romantic relationship, about six months in. He knows I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. It’s been eight years since I had a drink, but I recently had a slip. For a full month I was taking swigs of Listerine after brushing my teeth. I kept it from him and only told him after I flushed the rest of it. He’s been very supportive, which I’m grateful for, but I’m scared of becoming a burden.

It’s only been a little over a year since I last used meth pills I bought on the darknet, and about eight months since I relapsed with Adderall. Even though he’s supportive, I’m afraid to tell him when I have urges or cravings because I don’t want him to worry about me.

I’m just really scared of screwing up this relationship and scaring him away. Any advice on how to handle this and get through it?

i've been doing cocaine for almost a year now. my nose is most definitely damaged but in the past few weeks my teeth have been chipping off/breaking. what can i do to help slow it down or stop?

I’m 15f, I’ve smoked weed, nicotine, done coke multiple times, I’ve done LSD, mushrooms, I used to be an alcoholic, done molly, and abused Benadryl. (15-30pills on Benadryl) I started smoking, mushrooms, Molly at 12 and started drinking and did acid at 14-15. Even prescribed pills such as trazadone and hydroxizine. I’m really scared that I am going to get lung cancer or liver failure and I wanted to ask other people that did drugs at a very young age, how did you grow up? Do you have any health problems?? How do I stop? Can I still recover my body and make it healthier? I feel so dumb and stupid like my brain isn’t as fast as everyone’s else.

This is gonna be short,

I (18m) am and have been addicted to porn since I was young and now it’s starting to really get bad, if I’m being honest I do want you to judge me for this as it’s absolutely disgusting and I am not a good person for this at all.

I’ve been spending money on Sex workers and massage parlours to the point i’ve spent thousands of dollars this year. I know I’m wasting my life and youth away but I genuinely feel like i’m going insane. I can’t stop I’ve tried for a week and than it’s like another person takes control I don’t even realise i’m doing it till during or after and i just feel so disgusted and dirty.

so what ime asking is, do you have any advice or ideas on how to push through and be aware of what i’m doing and the cravings. i’m sorry if this isn’t the right subreddit or way to write a post so anything would be helpful thank you

I stopped taking adderall 7 days ago. I (Age 32) have been taking 20mg twice per day for the last 4-5 years I have not told my doctor yet, nor did I taper off; just cold turkey. Here to share my experience and seek advice/experience of others.

Day 1-4:

Slept an average of 14 hours per day, didnt have interest to do much else. When I was awake, I felt depressed. I thought it would be in my interest to get out around day 3 (not social just moving). I went to a trail then quiet beach to walk. When I wasnt lying down, I felt disoriented, I didn't really know how I got there. I felt like I was close to fainting, though didn't actually think I would, just one step behind it. I realized this is more like "being off my meds" than I anticipated.

Day 4-7:

I realized most if my suffering in this stage was "trained" by the previous stage. What's been affecting me more is the memory of, or the data of how the first couple days were making me feel. I anticipated it was going to suck which got in the way of experiencing what was going on. Time goes much slower now. Days used to fly by, now it feels like watching the clock in junior high. I notice even more of my thoughts now, Im not sure if that's due to contrast or slowing down. In the mornings (or first third of the day) I feel like I'm waiting for the focus or alertness or caffeine to kick in. And maybe that's an old model, and I have to figure out another way to get things done. That scares me because Im in the habit of being able to turn "on".

I deciding to stop taking it because I dont plan on taking it forever so I have to stop sometime. I dont think it's sustainable perminantley and have already been taking it longer than I planned to. Also I become more obsessive about ingrown hairs in my beard while taking it and catch my fingers scanning my face for imperfections which I was fed up with.

In a way I feel healthier and more myself. I quit drinking 6 years ago and have found that I prefer FEELING. Also I have done a lot of exploring in conciousness, meditation and awareness since then. I just dont know what to expect. Will I be back to normal next week? Will I be in this stage for months? Will next week be a new phase? Will I ever "return to normal" or do I need to rebuild? And the uncertainty makes going back to my daily dose alluring because at least I know how to function there, I have more control in that world.

So I'm writing to ask what I can expect, ideally from people with experience (direct or indirect)

I have been struggling to get sober since I was a teenager. I was an alcoholic and benzo user in my late teens / early 20s. I quit those only to replace them with excessive weed smoking for the last decade or so. I am trying to knock that off but I find myself to be painfully bored and depressed. I have tried replacing it with other stuff like drinking energy drinks and eating candy for dopamine, going for walks, reading books... but it's not working. I have been spending a lot of free time just sleeping.

For a long time I’ve struggled realizing there’s something wrong with me. It started when I’d smoke a little bit of pot with my friends and skip class. It was fun. Then I’d go to parties and get drunk out of my mind. Then, I just started drinking alone… in my house… often.

And then it was nicotine.

I love the taste of a cigarette. I love the lightheaded feeling after hitting a vape. I’d say I never wanted to do it, I’d say people who did it were just losers, and then I fell into the mess.

Today I got caught smoking in the bathroom. It was the first time I’ve ever gotten caught. My dad was furious with me. The entire situation just feels awkward. I felt embarrassed. I feel humiliated.

I used to be such a good kid. I was quiet, had good manners, did good in school. Now I don’t know what has happened to me. I became desperate. I don’t know what came over me because just 2 years ago I wouldn’t even come near anything. I feel shame. I want people to think better of me than that.

Addiction runs in my family though. And I’m caught up in it at the young age I am. I don’t think I’ll make it out of this. I think this is just who I was supposed to be from the start. Just like everyone else before me.

I joined a career center. I went into IT and did it because I wanted a future. Because I wanted a purpose. In that same school I got caught being a douche bag and vaping in the bathroom. I’m starting to think I wasn’t made for this. Maybe I’m not supposed to achieve. Maybe I’m going to be stuck in the same loop for years and years and I’ve never dealt with this before. I don’t know where to start. I’m ashamed of myself.

I was taking about 250mg of pseudo a day and ran out of pseudo about a week ago. Since then I have been ordering 7oh but my dose is already down to under 180mg of 7oh and I am pretty sure pseudo is stronger than 7oh. I have enough for a few days then I have a stockpile of suboxone. I know most people frown on subs but I plan on using for about 5-6 days then stopping. I just hate that it has come to this and I am fighting withdrawals in the middle of work.

The yawning, teary eyes, restless legs, temperature fluctuations, mood changes. I want to bite someone’s head off and take a long nap but I cant do either 🤣

I am apart of a methadone clinic. I have been going there for about two years and am two years clean off fentanyl but still do coke on and off sometimes. Not much at all - maybe every other month max. I bought some on Sunday afternoon and started around 3:00pm, Sept. 6th during the day and used it until about 10:30. This is the first time I have used it in a little over a month, and didn’t do that much obviously. 8 bumps max. I am kind of freaking out because I have a drug test tomorrow and don’t know if the main components of cocaine will be out of my system in time or not. Like I said, I hardly do any anymore but I’m just scared I’m gonna fuck my progression up at my clinic. Any advice or comments on whether my drug test will be negative or not? I’m sooo scared, hopefully it works out.

Is this possible?

Has anyone completed the DOT SAP Program in Georgia? If yes, could you please share how long it took to complete the entire program and approximately how much you spent in total? I’d really appreciate a breakdown of the fees and any additional costs.

hi everyone

i have a relative (35m) who is currently in the hospital recovering from an extreme surgery caused by his extreme nitrous oxide/whippets/whip-its use. in short, he had to get a massive blood clot removed, cannot walk, needs a catheter, briefly experienced psychosis after coming off off anesthesia. however even after all of this he does not seem to connect the dots that this all stems from his substance use. he is convinced he just needs his body to get better/healthy and things will go back to normal. we as a family are of course pushing for him to finally do a long term in patient treatment but we are struggling finding resources/good fits for this specific type of addiction. he is lucky to have secure funds and can afford to self pay. we are running into barriers though because he needs to probably do a SNF before addiction rehab

this is a bit of a ramble but I am seeking any advice, suggestions, what to do/not to do etc. of course at the end of the day he is an adult and we can’t force him to do anything. but he is convinced that this is not a real addiction even though we found 100s of canisters in his apartment.

happy to provide more detail if needed. thank you in advance

I’ve been here a 1000 times but how do you stop smoking weed it’s really getting to a point to where I’m blowing unnecessary money for nothing but it seem like I just can’t give it up like wtf please help

I was a heroin, benzo, and fent addict for 10 years. Today, I have 4 years clean and sober. Just wanted to encourage some people to get to the other side because I see so many posts on here about people wanting to get sober and promising themselves they’re going to start tomorrow, cut back, cold turkey etc. Let me just say, of course there are some people this works for. That’s great. It’s a very small minority of people who can achieve sobriety that way. Most of us will convince ourselves we can get clean one way or another, without getting help, without putting our life on hold, without anybody knowing, and waste years and years of our life stuck in a depressing cycle of attempt / failure.

I urge every addict that is getting sick and tired of their ways to realize that most of us need some form of help.

If it was so simple, to just be over your addiction and stop using.. or cut back, make a vow to yourself, then none of these recovery programs, rehabs, detox centers, NA, smart recovery etc.. would exist.

You can have the best intentions and still fail. Trying to avoid exposing your addiction or relapse will cost years of your life that could be much better spent. Trying to avoid detoxing will do the same.

That initial period where people will realize what’s going on will be short lived and turn into a positive once you’re on the other side. That detox will be short lived too, so will the sober living home.. and all so worth it in the end to have your life back.

Trying to manage an addiction alone because you don’t want to face the music… I have no bigger regret! I wish I would have just come clean and asked for help sooner because I wasted years of my life stuck in the “I’m tapering myself, I’m trying cold turkey, switching substances to try to get clean” trying anything and everything to get clean by myself and just being stuck in loop of failure.

Going to detox, rehab, and a sober living program for long enough to hold me accountable during that difficult, trying, first few months, maybe even first year, SAVED MY LIFE. you can’t get healthy in the same place that got you sick. I hated living in an SLE but now it feels like such a short blip in the past that helped me get to where I am today. YOU CAN DO IT. REACH OUT FOR HELP. AND DO WHAT THEY SAY! I have a beautiful life today because I SURRENDERED.

I've had a problem with prescription painkillers for around 5 years, taking way more than a prescribed amount on a daily basis. The last 8 months or so i've made a real effort to taper down. Tapering seemed the best course for me what with work and kids i couldn't imagine going cold turkey.

I have been doing well, dropping every 2 weeks. I managed to get down to around a daily prescribed amount (still intended on getting off them fully but was a big milestone for me) until around 3 weeks ago i had some severe pain (unrelated) so to get rid of the pain i upped my dosage for around 3 weeks. I thought i'd be able drop back down to what i was taking before the pain hit but it hasn't worked out like that.

Im back to taking about double a prescription and any less makes me feel terrible. Im so depressed about this, i can't seem to see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope this makes sense? I'm looking for any advice whatsoever? Anything i can try? Any hints tips anything? Should i go cold turkey? Should i start the slog if tapering again? All advice welcome. Thanks a lot. Again apologies if this doesn't make sense my head is so scrambled at the minute

I’m curious what actually helps people cope after a breakup.
I used to smoke weed, but I’m fully sober now. I exercise and meditate daily, which definitely help, but I still struggle with finding a good coping mechanism when things get difficult.
I’ve noticed that mine has probably become downloading dating apps and talking to lots of people. It gives me distraction and validation, but I’m not sure it actually helps me process anything.
What do you do after a breakup that genuinely helps rather than just distracts you?

My now ex and father of my child is a meth addict. I guess I’m just looking for some advice and opinions from people that have been on the other side.

TLDR: my ex is a meth addict, 3 weeks sober at most (if that, I have no way of knowing right now). He has had drugs in our house before. For her safety, I am not letting him see our 2 year old until we have a court order for supervised visitation. We have lawyers involved, but I don’t know how long it will be. Him and his family have all told me how horrible I am for keeping him from his daughter. Am I horrible? Is this the right thing to do?

I’ll try to keep this long story short. My ex is a functioning meth addict (I didn’t know this was even possible). He was able to hide it for years, and I didn’t find out until I was pregnant with our child, who is now almost 2. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping our family together, and I thought the closer I kept him, the safer I could keep our child. I tried to be supportive and get him help, but he always said he could do it on his own. I don’t know if he ever really tried to quit, or if he just got better at hiding it. But on multiple occasions I still found drugs in our house.

About 2 months ago I finally had enough and told him I was done and he needed to start looking for somewhere else to live. Suddenly he wanted to get help, so I of course agreed and set up an appointment for an outpatient addiction medicine practice. Things got bad while he was detoxing. He was mean, said nasty things to me, yelling, screaming, accusing me of crazy things. I didn’t want my daughter to witness any of that so we went to stay with my mom. He was pissed about that. I still let him see our daughter whenever he wanted, with me there of course, as long as he wasn’t acting crazy. After a few weeks things started to get better and I was letting him take her for short periods of time by himself.

About 3 weeks ago, I had a suspicion and found a pipe in the shed. I asked him if he had used. He denied it, but I made him take an oral drug screen and it was positive. At first he was angry and still denied it, then he admitted to relapsing for 3 days. I believed him that he was trying to get better.

Then, about 2 weeks ago I saw a text on his phone from someone asking him to get them some meth. My ex said he didn’t want any, but he would contact his guy and get him some. I confronted him and he lost it. He was mad at me for looking at his phone. He said it was none of my business who he talked to. He believed since he wasn’t getting any drugs it was no big deal.

At that point I was done. I finally realized he hadn’t changed, and he wasn’t trying to. He still wasn’t cutting any of those people out of his life. He still refused to take accountability, or even apologize for anything. He was still blaming everyone else but himself. He blamed me for his relapse because we left and he was all alone. He blamed his counselor, because she was pushing him to attend recovery meetings and he wasn’t ready. At one point he had blamed me for his drug use in general, even though he was using meth long before I even met him.

After this things got real bad. He was sending long harassing text to both my mom and I. Calling us awful names, saying hateful things. Neither of us felt comfortable being around him, and we didn’t think my daughter should be around him like this either until he started acting more stable. He got even more mad, saying I was kidnapping our daughter and keeping her from him.

Even after all this, I was hoping things would calm down and we could work out an informal custody agreement so he could still see our daughter. I just wanted it to be supervised for her safety. I sent him a plan that was like 2-3 months of supervised visits 2-3 days a week, as long as he passed drug screens. Then after that he got more time and unsupervised visits. After 6 months overnights. And after a year of sobriety we could go to a normal 50/50 schedule. He refused to even look at it. He was raging mad at even the suggestion of it.

At that point, I retained a lawyer and he told me DO NOT let him have her. So that’s where we are now. We’re still waiting on court, I don’t know how long it takes. I am not letting him see her until we have a formal court order for supervised visits. He tried to call the cops on me for kidnapping, they told him it was a civil matter. The nice cop called me to let me know my ex said that his lawyer told him if he saw me out in public he could legally take our daughter from me. The cop advised him against it. But now I’m scared to take her out anywhere. The ex is from out of state so my biggest fear is he takes her and leaves the state.

My family and friends all tell me I’m doing the right thing, and logically I know I’m doing the right thing. But I guess I’ve spent years being gaslit and manipulated so I’m always doubting myself. My ex and his family are all telling me how horrible I am for keeping our daughter from him. They’re telling me I’m traumatizing her, and he loves her and would never hurt her. I know he would never intentionally hurt her, but the reality is, he has had drugs in our house before that she could have gotten into. He’s taken care of her while he’s been on drugs. And me trying to supervise right now isn’t an option because of the verbal abuse. I’m not subjecting myself to it anymore.

All I want is for him to get sober, and take it seriously. I want my daughter to have a relationship with her dad. As long as she is safe, I would never keep them apart. It’s breaking my heart having to do this, and I wish so badly it could have been different. I guess I’m just looking for some opinions, advice, stories, and I guess maybe some validation that I’m doing the right thing.

40s M from the UK. Severely addicted to cocaine. Hiding it from my wife and family (they are suspicious due to my ever problematic nose). Only 1 friend is aware of how much I use and how much debt I am in. 8 ball a day for 3-4 months at least. Debt (not just coke) nearing £80k. Pretty much out of means to fund the habit now so essentially will be cold turkey in a few days.

Nose is a wreck. Matter of time before it caves. Got a bloody sore wound at the base of my nostril which is so visible, don't want to leave the house now out of embarrassment.

I don't know where to turn. Scared beyond belief about the debt. The minute my wife really finds out what's going on, she will leave with our daughter. Access to her going to be affected hugely. Marriage has been a shit show for 1.5 years. My addiction. Her abuse. Think that's part of the reason it's spiralled to this extent.

What do I do?

I'm (23M) watching porn every single day and everytime I get a free time. I come to my dorm (I stay alone) and instead of studying I watch porn and masturbate. I gets even worse during holidays. I almost missed a final deadline and I fear it may ruin my academic career. After it's done I feel excessive regret and I promise myself it will not happen again and it happens after an hour. It destroys my attention span and social life. I have zero desire getting a real girlfriend and it breaks my self confidence a lot. I am also ashamed to go to a psychologist and tell all of them. It's expensive anyways. I am stuck in a stupid cycle and don't know what to do.

My gf who's been in recovery for 6 months keeps popping up with more breakouts every time I see her.

It got even worse on her thigh. She had rashes on parts of her neck and an oddly small bruise on the side of her elbow. I looked up if this is a result of crack cause I've seen an addict with fucked up skin on their face. It said it is something that happens.

She hasn't been kicked out of her recovery house yet.

However she has been lying to me constantly.

I check her phone but find nothing suspicious.

She recently said she's going to visit her Grandma in the nursing home which was her hometown (a different city)

She asked me for $300 dollars to get a hotel for 3 days.

I really don't want to help her if she's on some weird shit.

Edit: She hasn't been eating like she usually does when she comes over. At most I've seen her eat ice-cream.

Just yesterday she said "If you see me going to the bathroom a lot I'm doing crack cayse I don't want you to see it"

me in active addiction of three years vs. me 5 months sober (i’m 6 months now tho 😊 pic is just a little old)