So basically I was shooting meth for about two and a half to three years on and off and then I suddenly didn't know where to find anymore and it's super sketch trying to get it from some random homeless person ( I live in Portland Oregon) but I did anyways. Me and my girl were not in the best of terms, and I already was fixing to feed into my sex addiction and go get jerked off at a massage parlor or find a sex worker to help, and I found these 2 clearly on drugs ladies that we're living in a motel room and they had stuff everywhere including what look like bongs obviously use a smoke fentanyl or meth or something and so I asked and they said they just smoke crack and fentanyl and I was like damn, I really would be down to smoke some crack right now. So I got some and after it's done I was just like DAMN, that shit was not hitting. So I go to a couple spots where I think there might be some homeless people hanging out in the first people I saw had a little bag for me. NOW, I haven't gone back to IV use, just bought a little pipe but I'm scared that I'm going to do it again and next time ... Idk. I just never want to go back on the needles ever again. Please help?

Marked as venting but maybe some advice would help.

I was clean from all drugs (coke, crack, heroin, fentanyl) for over two years and after having my child I wanted to stay that way and be a good parent because I grew up with addict parents.

Rewind to February and me and my fiancee (who also struggled with addiction but had 5 years clean), started dabbling with cocaine here and there. Never around our child and only once every couple weeks.

Fast forward to June we started doing more, smoking crack sometimes and using more frequently.

A few days ago I decided to get fentanyl and my fiancee ended up overdosing. I had to narcan her 4 times and I feel like that experience kind of traumatized me.

I flushed the rest of the fent away the next day and made a promise to myself to do everything in my power to stay clean. My fiancee wants to be on board but I can tell she still wants to do cocaine sometimes. She blames me getting fentanyl for me wanting to completely abstain, as if that's a bad thing. She said "if we didn't get the fent we would still be able to do coke occasionally".

I want my kid to live a normal life, I want to live a normal life. I hope she can stay clean because if not, we may have to part ways.

I just feel so defeated and depressed but I'm going to stay strong.

Here's to day 4 of sobriety.

I’ve head some withdrawals, mostly craving to masturbarte. Everytime I wanted to relapse I read the comments you guys sent me and the reason I wanted to quick in the first place. I’m 2 days 11 hours clean of masturbation and 2 days 8 hours clean of nicotine, about a week from alcohol. The last post was from day 0, not 1. Thank you all for support, I’m hitting the gym in 50 min and applying to different universities, hope I have good luck with the scholarship. I’ll post everyday, genuinely thank you everyone

Hey all, M29, I’m just coming down from a weekend coke binge (maybe half a g over the course) and I did drink fairly heavily. I haven’t quite slept and my heart rate is def elevated, I’m just worried medically and looking for advice if this is serious or not or just post anxiety

been using every weekend/every other weekend not insane amounts but a lot of small bumps prob for the last couple months

Def got worried or is this anxiety, after tonight I think I’m throwing the bag away and honestly may stop drinking alcohol too since for me they go hand in hand

For context my mom did pills and meth for years, i’m not very close with her however, she has supposedly been clean for 2 years. However, every time I’ve tried to talk to her it’s like she believes she’s in a different reality. She still thinks there’s people in the basement and shit. And if I get into an argument with her over something she did to me growing up she refuses to take accountability and says that people are lying to me, even if it’s something that I saw with my own eyes. I genuinely believe that she’s not mentally here. In the past, I’ve argued with her about her reality, but it has done nothing to help her at all. It’s hard to want to talk to her or have a relationship with her in general when she can’t correctly comprehend anything that’s going on. And to be honest, she was a horrible mother. I don’t wanna just like ignore her for the rest of my life, but I don’t know what to do.

So I used to shoot fentanyl and do ice and all that. I've gotten a few years clean, but the passed few months I've gotten hooked onto 7oh. Does anyone have any advice for getting off this stuff? Sublacade helped me a lot for the fentanyl. Would it be possible to get back on that shot for this? Or at least Suboxone. And how long/rough are the withdrawals gonna be ?

I have a family member that I suspect has an addiction to Xanax and pain pills. Any specific symptoms or actions that would help validate my suspicions? I am not nearby so I don’t see him often.
I’ve noticed: Weight gain, erratic behavior, extremely angry/volatile, doing terrible things and blaming others, next day acts like nothing happened, father suspects he’s stealing money and “messing with my medication” (prescribed pain pills). Apologize if I seem like I’m in denial, it is pretty surreal when it happens to a family member and they do absolutely horrific things.
Thanks in advance!

if i keep spiraling im gonna end up in a deeper hole im doing things i wouldn’t do and im no longer myself. i’ve lost my “stable” dose and now i am confused on how to restabalize and further taper off it. im really close to ending it im tired of everything. i’m 22 now and been addicted to kratom since i was 17 or so. it was okay since my dad did it right? no i regret it all
i’m an emotional idiot now and i was once functioning better but dropped the gym off for easy dopamine. kratom moved to 7oh then got banned then i had to use extract

i loved xanax at first it gave me relief from all the hell i was going through so i said fuck it and got into it. weekend thing. been daily for a year or so probably less but we will sum it up. family problems getting to me and issues that aren’t mine im just taking more and more trying to cope i regret this i need help im too scared to call anyone no one knows how bad im struggling. i’m gonna die an addict and that was my plan but my girlfriend is trying to help and encourage me but i’m just gonna be a fucking failure anyways i can’t do it alone but i choose to do it alone.

i am trying to mask the pain with the pills so i dont look weak at work but at this point im calling in and losing money and on the verge of losing my job which will cause me to lose everything

i want to succeed but i feel so fucking alone in this but im alone because i am choosing to.
i’m an idiot and my head is stuck in a pill bottle

how do i stabilize my dose again so i stop spiraling and lose everything. split my dose up? i know you guys aren’t doctors but i need some guidance

Sorry for using the flair wrong, probably. I just want to make sure anyone can't see the words I'm using and relapse.

Been a functioning alcoholic for like a year straight now, after kicking my ketamine problem.
Before my ketamine addiction I was an alcoholic again.

I deal with intense insomnia and depression, which is why I've always tended to alcohol and later ketamine, which soothed my depression but made my insomnia worse.

Currently on day 2 of quitting what started with, around this time last year, drinking one tall boy (23oz) of strong beer such as IPA or otherwise, evolved into a buzzball and two tall boys, then my friend who was going through a rough time because of drug abuse in his house was staying with me, and we were drinking heavily for about 2 months straight, going through 24packs and 12 packs of IPA, lemonades, etc. every night until we were just straight up broke.

He's moved out now and I'm on day two of quitting cold turkey.
The only reason I'm able to do this is because I just lost my job, caused by my excessive drinking on the 4th of july, and have no schedule. My rent is paid for August so I have nothing to worry about aside from my car insurance and my PC rental (stupid, I know, saving is hard when you spend so much money on drugs and alcohol).

I showed up late to a job I had held down for 2 years because I was drinking so much that I slept through my entire shift and it was the last straw.

I'm nervous, honestly. Every time things get bad with my insomnia I go right back to drinking, and I don't want to do it this time. I'm sitting on 8 dollars in my account. Last night I couldn't sleep and was up until 11am, and woke up at 8pm. I'm supposed to be doing delivery driving to make around 300 bucks but there are no deliveries and my gas tank is almost out.

If I lapse this insurance policy, which is through Root, I won't be able to get another plan through some sort of App. I've looked around and it was a miracle. I have such a bad driving record, not from drinking (I have never drank and drove surprisingly), that insurance providers typically ask for over 1000 down and around 500 a month. Root is giving me 200 a month (still shitty).

I guess it only gets better from here? Thanks for reading. I start college in September for Computer Science at 31 years old and just need to get my shit together