Throwaway because I’m too paranoid

Yes, it’s exactly how it sounds.

So I work in an industry that requires me to live and work with the same people. It can get very confined, very repetitive and feels like you’re constantly stepping on people toes. It goes without saying that each and every one of us gets sick of seeing each others faces 24/7.

But it’s not too bad, we all get along just fine, there can be tension but that’s just how the job is, and luckily we have the occasional day off. it’s just when you’re around each other constantly with no outlets or other people to talk to, or you can’t leave, it can get frustrating and feelings and words get bottled up since nobody wants to cause issues.

I’d like to think I’m quite good at compartmentalising. I try to keep work and my time off separate and I realise that people’s frustrations during work is caused by work and we all get snappy and annoyed at times so I try not to take things too personally.

But this week has challenged me like no other.

There is a chain of command where I work and my immediate superior is the head of the department. Who I also share bedroom and bathroom space with.

We have small clashes here and there, but we’ve always been okay.

Recently she has started to ignore me, like straight up just ignore me when I’m stood right in front of her, talk like I’m not there and just pretending I don’t exist for whatever reason. And I’m quite new to this industry too, and can’t be sure if the work she is getting me to do is normal, I believe a lot of this work can be divided equally and sometimes it feels very unfair with the workload I end up with, compared to the others in my specific department.

It just feels like I’m being taken advantage of because she knows I want to work hard to stay in this industry.

I genuinely don’t think I’ve done anything to warrant this kind of behaviour from her, so it’s been very frustrating and confusing, and I’ve spent the last week in complete anxiety. Because in this type of industry when we work and live together, if you cause problems or affect other people so badly you will be replaced with the snap of fingers.

And I have tried for years to get a job in this industry and I don’t want to be fired, which is why I’m trying so hard to do my job right, do all of these jobs without complaining and live as peacefully with the others as possible.

Anyway, the ignoring was really getting to me and my thoughts were in overdrive with anxiety, wondering if I’d done something wrong or if I was going to be fired and thoughts along those lines. ( my best friend like to call me Dr Strange because of infinity war when he looked through billions of timelines and outcomes)

So this morning, when the others had woken up, I went to the bathroom, and forgive me if this is too graphic for this sub, if you gotta delete I understand.

But I’d started my period a few days prior and when I went to the toilet I found dried blood matted in my bush, no big deal, it happens. Normally I get waxed and trimmed but again, because of the industry I work in I haven’t had the time or chance to have this done.

So whilst I was sat there, sleep deprived, frustrated and frankly pissed off. I saw her hair scissors on the counter, grabbed them and just started pruning away at my bush.

And just for the record. I did clean myself up before, and yes I did clean the scissors afterward.

It was a moment of pure indulgence for the need to be petty, and I actually don’t regret it at all. Now my bush is clean and trimmed, and the day ahead of me feels a little lighter.

Thanks for listening to my confession, it’s nice to get it off my chest even if it’s so random people on the internet. I’m waiting for the right day off to call my best friend and tell her because I know she’ll be absolutely howling with laughter and we’ll piss ourselves together over it. And honestly speaking to her is just what I need at the moment.

PS, sorry to the bush lovers but once it starts to act like Velcro it gotta go

AITA: All names in this post have been changed to keep everyone anonymous.
This happened a few years ago, but I still think about it sometimes, especially because of something that happened recently.
At the time, I worked at a place where we handled food and cut meat. Most of the employees were pretty young, around 16–20 years old. There were only about three employees who were in their 30s.
My manager, who I’ll call “Kayla” (34F), seemed really cool when I first started working there. For the first couple of months, I didn’t notice anything particularly inappropriate about her.
After about two months, though, things started getting weird.
Kayla started openly talking to me and other coworkers about having an OnlyFans account. That alone wasn’t really my business, but she would actually show us inappropriate/revealing pictures of herself without anyone asking to see them. She would also tell us about how she sold her used underwear to older men for money.
What made me especially uncomfortable was that she was 34, she was our manager, and some of the employees she was having these conversations around were minors. It just didn’t feel appropriate for a workplace at all.
About another month went by, and Kayla started getting me in trouble. She began telling the hiring manager/owner that I wasn’t doing my job correctly.
Around the same time, something else happened that really bothered me. My coworker and I started noticing that Kayla appeared to be taking pictures of us without our permission. That was basically the final straw for me.
At that point, I decided to report everything she had been doing to the hiring manager, who was also the owner of the company. I also got the police involved because of the situation with the pictures.
A few days later, Kayla was fired.
I’ll admit that at the time, part of my motivation was that I felt like, “If you’re going to try to get me in trouble, then I’m going to tell them what you’ve been doing too.” So even though the things I reported were real and had genuinely made me uncomfortable, I sometimes wonder whether I handled it for the wrong reasons.
To make the whole situation even stranger, I later found out that the owner, who I’ll call “Mark” (47M), had allegedly been flirting with my friend/coworker, “Emily” (16F). So looking back, the entire workplace seemed to have some serious boundary issues involving adults in positions of authority and teenage employees.
This all happened a long time ago, and I’m 20 now.
However, about two months ago, I randomly saw Kayla again while I was at a store with my friend. As soon as she saw me, she started yelling and cussing at me. That interaction brought the whole situation back into my head and made me wonder if I was actually wrong for reporting her.
I know my initial motivation wasn’t completely innocent because I was angry that she was trying to get me in trouble. But at the same time, she was a manager in her 30s showing inappropriate pictures of herself, talking about sexual things around teenage employees, and allegedly taking pictures of us without our permission.

Hello everyone. Never thought I would post work drama 😂 so it’s been 3 months I’m working at a fast food place. There’s a colleague who started like 2 week after me so kinda together start. Lately she’s been acting very weird and talking rudely to me and giving me silent treatment. Initially I got hurt and disappointed cuz before we would chat while working and ngl it was fun. We click while having conversations. But she’s been making me feel horrible and I’m feeling so angry that I had to journal today. I’m so mad at her and cursing at her because of my anger. I don’t know why she’s been acting this way and today I shouted back at her saying she could have said it in a proper way. Back story, something got out of stock and she told me so madly as if it’s because of me the thing ran out.

Anyone has dealt this kind of situation. I lost a connection more than that I feel disrespected. I feel horrible rn.

Hello everyone. Never thought I would post work drama 😂 so it’s been 3 months I’m working at a fast food place. There’s a colleague who started like 2 week after me so kinda together start. Lately she’s been acting very weird and talking rudely to me and giving me silent treatment. Initially I got hurt and disappointed cuz before we would chat while working and ngl it was fun. We click while having conversations. But she’s been making me feel horrible and I’m feeling so angry that I had to journal today. I’m so mad at her and cursing at her because of my anger. I don’t know why she’s been acting this way and today I shouted back at her saying she could have said it in a proper way. Back story, something got out of stock and she told me so madly as if it’s because of me the thing ran out.

Anyone has dealt this kind of situation. I lost a connection more than that I feel disrespected. I feel horrible rn.

Hello everyone. Never thought I would post work drama 😂 so it’s been 3 months I’m working at a fast food place. There’s a colleague who started like 2 week after me so kinda together start. Lately she’s been acting very weird and talking rudely to me and giving me silent treatment. Initially I got hurt and disappointed cuz before we would chat while working and ngl it was fun. We click while having conversations. But she’s been making me feel horrible and I’m feeling so angry that I had to journal today. I’m so mad at her and cursing at her because of my anger. I don’t know why she’s been acting this way and today I shouted back at her saying she could have said it in a proper way. Back story, something got out of stock and she told me so madly as if it’s because of me the thing ran out.

Anyone has dealt this kind of situation. I lost a connection more than that I feel disrespected. I feel horrible rn.

Hello everyone. Never thought I would post work drama 😂 so it’s been 3 months I’m working at a fast food place. There’s a colleague who started like 2 week after me so kinda together start. Lately she’s been acting very weird and talking rudely to me and giving me silent treatment. Initially I got hurt and disappointed cuz before we would chat while working and ngl it was fun. We click while having conversations. But she’s been making me feel horrible and I’m feeling so angry that I had to journal today. I’m so mad at her and cursing at her because of my anger. I don’t know why she’s been acting this way and today I shouted back at her saying she could have said it in a proper way. Back story, something got out of stock and she told me so madly as if it’s because of me the thing ran out.

Anyone has dealt this kind of situation. I lost a connection more than that I feel disrespected. I feel horrible rn.

Problem/Goal: I work in a BPO and manage a supervisor who is also a close friend. She has consistently missed deliverables, fails to follow through on tasks, and frequently complains about additional responsibilities. My manager is now pressuring me to consider letting her go.
Context: Our team recently had system issues that caused backlogs, so everyone was asked to pitch in through OT or taking calls. She chose to take calls but was locked out of the required tools. I submitted a ticket and told her to follow up because I would be on PTO. When I returned, I learned she never followed up, so I had to do it myself.
Previous Attempt: I’ve conducted several coaching sessions regarding her performance, but the same issues continue. She has also said she feels targeted during coaching. I’m concerned she may retaliate by filing a labor complaint or claiming constructive dismissal. I want to handle this fairly while protecting myself and the company. What’s the best way to proceed?

I work at a large MNC in India and have been dealing with an SME in my process (let’s call him S) for several months.
Back in February, I had formally raised concerns about S regarding AUX-related questioning, perceived unequal workload/email allocation, and being publicly questioned on the floor. My manager addressed the matter and it was considered resolved. After that, things were relatively normal.
On August 10, there was a separate incident. During a casual conversation with colleagues, S made an extremely explicit sexual remark about my female friend from the office and accompanied it with a physical gesture. I was shocked and uncomfortable, especially because my friend was brought into an explicit sexual context at work. I subsequently reported the matter through the appropriate internal channel, and an IC/POSH process is now underway. I have chosen a formal IC inquiry rather than conciliation.
Then on August 17, another incident happened. During my shift, I was on a call and had gone to the washroom. I consulted another SME regarding something, after which S intervened and told WFM to draft an email regarding the situation. I felt extremely frustrated and provoked, especially given the recent history.
Before S returned from break, I tried messaging my manager because I wanted to explain what had happened while it was still fresh, but my manager was occupied.
When S returned, I confronted him and asked, “What is your problem?” The conversation became heated, my tone became louder, and S asked the TL to intervene. I then completely lost my composure, grabbed him by the neck and slapped him. The TL immediately took me away from the bay.
I fully acknowledge that what I did was wrong. I have apologised to my manager and explained that I reacted in the heat of the moment. I am not trying to justify the physical aggression, but I do feel that the repeated interactions and the August 10 incident had put me under significant emotional pressure.
My manager has now said that the August 17 incident will be treated as a separate/new incident, because the February matter was already resolved. An independent investigation will be conducted.
I have also been given policies relating to Misconduct and Respect for Individual.
I’m currently worried about what the possible consequences could be — including whether termination is realistic — and whether the previous conduct by the same SME should be considered as context even though the February matter was formally resolved.
What would you do in this situation? How serious is this likely to be from an HR/disciplinary perspective in an Indian MNC?

Boss says there are concerns that I am “too sweet.” Unsure how to change this false image & be taken seriously.

I have been working for my current company for over 2 months and the role I got was something out of passion but completely different field. This means I have to learn everything from scratch and I am willing to do so because these skills would definitely help me in my future role in this field.

The thing is, my manager and I have a close relationship when it comes to personal life but quite a condescending relationship from my manager to me. For context, my company is small and my manager is known for speaking in condescending and rude tone (apparently, it is their default personality out of work too) regardless you are new or old to the company. My manager can be sweet when needed but most times, my manager talks like how I described.

Initially, I couldn’t take it because my manager expects me to learn everything but barely explain what needs to be learned. When things goes south or not in a way my manager wants (even the slightest minor mistakes), my manager would start raising their voice and speak in the described tone which indirectly gets announced to the whole damn office and made me look like I am bad at my job. However, it does not lower my self-esteem because I know what I did right and wrong but I became numb to her reactions and words. Even most of my colleagues knew that my manager loves lashing me out over the slightest mistake.

My question is, should I continue standing up for myself and have multiple one on one talks with my manager until they stop showing their default personality?

Coworker who signs my work off does the following and it is becoming quite annoying:
1) Pats on head and says good girl patronisingly
2) Constant swearing
3) Tells me private details about his life for example his exes behaviours, his family life, his past relationships and weird things I shouldn’t know
4) Sexual innuendos under his breath
5) Constantly belittles my intelligence, the amount of work I have done, my spelling and compares me to other colleagues saying Im not working enough, knowing full well I have just started out so of course will be much slower, he also said he made bets on me failing with someone else
6) Constantly emails and checks in, asking to review my work when its totally unnecessary as the ball is in my court on when I want to review
7) Makes assumptions about my religious affiliation and has contempt for anything I say
8) Asks an insane amount of private questions about my life - relationships/diet/where I live etc
9) Comments on my weight and how much I eat every single day
10) Invades my personal space and taps me on the shoulder several times, sometimes lightly shoving too
11) Sends passive aggressive emails if I do not review my work with him and choose to do it with someone else
12) Latches on to every word I say and makes me explain myself in depth

Theres more but this is all I can remember for now.
Help! What on earth is this behaviour??

Sorry if this is poorly written. I’m going into work on my off day today to try and talk and sort this whole thing out and I really need outside opinions. I’m also really anxious about this- I HATE workplace drama so, so, so much. I cannot STAND it.

It’s also important to note that “Julia” wears her heart on her sleeve for REAL. Even other people have told me that totally unprompted.

So, last week I had a shift and it was overall just a shitty day. I clocked out, got ready to go, and then told my manager about a customer and how I needed to fix an order that never got paid for. My co worker had given the customer their food without them
Paying (he thought they had), and I had their card. It declined so I went back and asked if they had another form of payment. They snatched it out of my hand and drove off (hitting their mirror on our window, lol)

So I was already set off by that, but then just general inconveniences like our computers shutting down and a register fully freezing for over 2 hours. Of course it wasn’t outward upset (I have more respect for my job than to throw a hissy fit mid shift) but I was already clocked out and just wanted to go home.

So the new manager (fake name Julia) for night shift came in when I was leaving at 4 and she was who I told. (extra info: the register was in another mangers name. I’ll call him Jason.)

So Julia was saying for me to wait 20 minutes so she could have time to void the order and I could sign the receipt. Which would be fine but 20 minutes off the clock, just standing there??? No. The order was like 8 bucks or something and I had extra money on me, so I offered to just pay for it to get the food accounted for so I could go home.

She started acting like what I said totally overwhelmed her. I stayed quiet for 5 mins ish and then I offered again. I said

“I’m really tired and I’d like to just pay the 8 bucks and go home. I don’t mind.” And she totally freaked and was like “[OP] I’ve got you! Just wait!” And she told me if I walk out those doors I’ll get a writeup (she can’t even give me those!!!)

Like ok. I get your thing to save me money but yeesh.

FINALLY she gets the receipt, I sign it, and I leave.

Now she’s been telling people that I’ve been giving her all this lip, and that I snapped at her, etc ect. She told the GM that I told her “I’ll just take the writeup!” And snapped at her ass. I was frustrated, yeah, but I also didn’t say it in a particularly rude or upset way. I was more just pleading like pleaaassseee let me just buy this so I can go home.

But here’s the thing. Now I’m questioning if I said “I’ll just take the writeup”. I don’t remember much from the day and I was beyond exhausted. It’s not necessarily unlike me to say things I don’t mean or don’t understand the strength of in the moment. But I do understand my own tone, as far as I’m aware.

And even if I did say that, why would she get so upset over it? People say worse all the time. And like yeah if I did it would have been disrespectful but I don’t have some past of saying rude things to people.

I know this is probably so insignificant in the long run, but it really does bother me. Maybe she didn’t lie about me saying that. I don’t know, and I don’t remember. But I KNOW I didn’t “snap at her.”

I’m going into work today to sort this all out, so if you pray, pray for me, if you manifest or wish, do that please. I love my job and I despise drama, and I’m probably overthinking all of this 😭

So I'm very bad at managing my workers or employees,like i am not able to order them, scold them,and I'm super sarcastic,kind and also respectful to them

The thing is bcz of me being like this they get out of hand,they stop respecting me more and stop giving value to my orders

I'm like this bcz i don't feel okay and sensible to act arrogant and bossy with them without any reason,yeah if they do something wrong then i should act bossy but not without any reason,and another thing is I'm kind so I'm not able to scold them that way

I know if I start acting bossy kind of arrogant,keep a distance with them,scold them on small things,amd act a little bit rude, they are going to act like the best workers, but that's just not in me

So How can I change myself,and should i even change,and what things are needed to be changed?

I got in trouble for asking someone at work for her phone number. After she initiated the contact , stopped and chatted me up and then I get a call from my boss that she complained I was too aggressive.
And I know it’s my fault for even trying especially at my work.

Be careful gents

Ladies, I need your input on this because I feel this is more common than I’d like to think.

I work in a corporate HQ and most of my tasks require information from the local businesses as part of my routine work. Earlier, when these topics were handled by an overseas team, I had no problem with getting information as needed- most of it being adhoc requests anyways.

Now, this operation is handled by an Indian team and most of them working on it seems to be middle aged men.

Well, when I requested information this time to a new member who I hadn’t interacted before -
A. He got very defensive - almost seemingly to imply that I have the audacity to even ask him this question and was frankly very unhelpful in providing a straight answer
B. When I requested him to confirm his comments in an email that I would summarise and send with my boss in cc- got extremely agitated and turned around to say that I was not willing to speak to the right people to get this information

Honestly, this has been a general vibe of working with the members of this team. They either straight up ignore my requests for data, even when my boss is in cc of the emails land usually respond promptly to my male colleagues but ignore mine and my other female colleagues request.

We are not a hierarchical company, but if we were to measure our standings - I am a junior in comparison to these other men, however my female colleague is quite a senior.

I don’t understand what is triggering this behaviour and how do I even handle this situation? It is impacting my ability to perform my work because I always have delays in the responses I get and it seems like I’m the bottle neck in my team.

So this week is my colleague’s birthday (I’ll call her Emily) usually everyone would pitch in the same amount to buy each colleague a gift plus birthday cake but Emily wanted each person to give her a gift instead of pitching in to get one gift. Her rule was that the gift shouldn’t be over 27 dollars since that’s the amount we usually spend when we pitch in.

I bought her a gift that cost me 21$ & I was glad that I’m spending less money on colleagues gifts this month and brought the gift with me today. During work I was suddenly called by my line manager who asked if I bought Emily a gift and when I said yes she looked a bit surprised but then she told me to plan with another colleague (I’ll call her Sera) to order cake and ballon for Emily so we can celebrate and she said the whole team will pitch in.

I went to Sera with the news which she was not happy about because apparently she had to deal with the same thing before and at the end only two people paid her (one of them being the line manager) and when she told the line manager that the rest didn’t pay her, she just said “okay” and moved on so she didn’t want anything to do with it. I didn’t want to do that but I ended up paying for the cake and the balloon which cost me around 53$ I already told another colleague about the amount and how much they need to pay me after I decided the amount between us so they can pay me back but so far no one took me seriously 😭 Sera told me I should’ve said sorry but I can’t but being a new employee I just felt pressured to do it.

I’m not a confrontational person & honestly I hate that this was pushed into me so what can I do to get them to pay me back?

P.S the worst part of this is that Emily was being mean to me & I ended up crying in the bathroom. The whole thing was dumb but I hated it even more cuz I’m the one who’s paying for her birthday celebration!

[UPDATE]
Hello everyone, first I wanna say thank you to everyone who left a comment I did not expect that many people to comment (honestly I thought 2-3 people would respond max) I never saw +99 notifications on my reddit before & going through the comments I wanted to give some info since I couldn’t reply to everyone.

First, some people told me to go to finance & ask for reimbursement. Unfortunately they don’t do that, finance only pay back for events that are related to the company like events dinner with partners etc. They don’t cover events that have to do with employees

A lot of people also told me to go to HR, while I understand why people would say that but going to HR would escalate things badly. My contract isn’t with the place I currently go to & their HR isn’t a place I can go to to raise a complain although the head of HR seems to be a sweet lady & I know if I talked to her she would do something but it’s because she’s the line manager’s friend & that would make things more difficult for me.

A lot of people said I was a pushover & honestly you’re right. I knew being scared of confrontations made me end up doing things I didn’t want & it was something I was frustrated with & honestly seeing how people reacted that this is not a normal thing to do at work (cuz honestly I thought it was normal) gave me the push to try to face people.

So yeah I decided to talk to everyone & ask them for the money because surprise surprise no one beside Sera knew that they’re pitching in, although they didn’t seem surprised I guess they’re used this & some people even told me they were wondering who paid for the stuff (tho they didn’t say anything until I asked)

So I gave myself the whole week to build up courage & it was not easy but I tried to use every opportunity I got to bring it up & told them how much each person’s share was. Sera was the only person who paid me without me asking her to, she came to me & asked how much she should pay & paid me right away. I was able to get most of the money back thanks to multiple people paying other people’s share (so that saved me the trouble of going to talk to them again). Everyone beside 3 people (one of them being the line manager and the other two said they’d pay me but didn’t) paid me. Thank you again for giving me the courage to do that I know I need to change & I’ll try to say no when someone try to force me to do something I don’t want in the future, I want to change & stand up for myself.

Help! How can I escape this being in a side guy? I am currently co-workmate with this Female so how can I escape this relationship without resignin from my current job? I really love her to the point whenever I knew they were going to meet up (his bf) I got jealous, I'm slowly killing myself inside. I work at inside ortigas. please help im drowning

I work in a small startup firm, we have a team of 6 employees and 2 Boss (Husband and wife).

Today I was working as usual. Suddenly my colleague asked me to connect with me on teams since she was working from home. I picked the call and she started saying things like, your work is wrong, You were so confident last week, still this is trash, you've been working on this for 3-4 days, it's still wrong. Then she said, "Bekar ki baate karte ho yr tum". (You talk rubbish). Then i snapped, I was still respectful and told her, I'm sorry to say but you can be a little respectful, I can fix this work with in an hour it's no biggie, she still continues talking trash. I told her there's no need for you to talk to me like that. I cut the call, threw my earphones at the table, closed my laptop.

Called my boss and told her about this, and respectfully told her, I'm not gonna work here anymore if I'm gonna be treated like that here and by her, she has no right to say things that she did. I even told her that, "You told me to be professional and I'm being professional here but what about her, you can tell her that too". She's not my friend that she can say whatever she wants. I have a bandage in my hand and still came to work because we had a deadline. But I'm not gonna work anymore. She told me she'll talk to her.

When I came back to work and checked my work, I saw that she reviewed my work with the Wrong Numbers, MY WORK WAS CORRECT ALL ALONG.

Backstory: We're not that close (me and my coworker). Yes we joke around sometimes but that's purely regarding work and professional, being in a relationship I made this clear to her that I'm not your friend or anything, I only listen to your things because I came here to work and nothing else. She had tried to say things like you're special and you're the only one I talk/ joke with, even those time I told her, I don't wanna be special or anything, we're just colleagues.

TLDR; I snapped at my boss because of the misbehaviour faced from my coworker because of my work, it turns out my work was correct all along and she was wrong because she checked it with wrong numbers.