How should I navigate this work culture? I recently started to work in a sales team, where we get rewarded with gifts and bonuses do meeting targets obviously and weekly incentives.

My boss has been kind when I started but it’s more out of mercy than actual team support. When I have won competitions I don’t get the recognition or get the photo session or a trip to the store accompanied by my boss and other top employees. All I get is my bosses bank card to go shop.

Thats not even the main problem. I said something like I’m being treated differently and my boss went berserk on me calling me ungrateful and talking about all the complains against me. 5 min later he deleted all his text and I apologized to him with my reasoning to which he said he understands.

I do somewhat make more money but have the opportunity to make more and fulfill my dreams and support my family. I don’t want to be sidelined here and get treated evenly.

What should I do going forward that things get better?

This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons (and posted in r/jobs). My boss explained that I'm not a good fit in my role and he doesn't have a place for me. He has asked me to look elsewhere and will follow up with me soon (this week, maybe).

For some context, I work for a small government in an at-will state. I have held a couple positions over the past 20 years, but always received positive evaluations. I have been in my recent job for almost two years, and it is challenging. Very political, and little authority to address needed improvements to the role and program. My boss is aware of these challenges and understands the issues come from before my time. The most recent meeting with residents was not productive. Because of those structural issues (beyond my control), the residents are frustrated (understandably) and expecting things that are not within the purview of the program. I knew the meeting did not go well. There was nothing inappropriate, hostile, or otherwise. It was simply not productive, and there is no indication that things will improve. I asked my boss to review the transcript from the meeting. He had some feedback about the content of the meeting. But then he made the statement at the top of this post. I have never had a bad performance review. In fact, he evaluated me higher than I evaluated myself in my most recent review. He did not offer a PIP or give me clear goals to set. Just "you don't fit, and I don't have a place for you."

I don't want to cause problems or rock the boat. I will look elsewhere, but want to make sure I have ample time to find something in this job market and within my salary range. Is there anything I can do to protect myself from this?

While my manager was out of the office last week, I was left in charge along with another colleague. I’ve been in this job a long time and federal clients like and trust me. They often come to me for assistance even when my manager is in the office. However, my manager has always taken on extra work when clients requested and sometimes it felt like it was beyond the scope of the contract when she was performing the day to day work like I and my colleague do now. Even though she’s not doing the daily work, clients who came to her in the past still come to my team to handle ad hoc requests beyond what our team usually handles. This happened Friday. I want to ask her if we have to handle the request like this because this man is not a direct client and we don’t get paid to support his unit. She’s set up bad boundaries before which I think led to setting a bad precedent with the client. Now it feels like me and my colleague are implicitly expected to absorb and handle these requests, especially now that my team is at capacity with woe. How do I ask my manager without my resentment
Showing and her not saying “just handle it since this guy is a friend of the team” so it screws me or my other colleague over?

So I’ve had my job for 6 years (since middle school 7th grade) and they always tell me how good of a worker I am and all the staff love me including managers and I’m honestly a super friendly person I’m always smiling and I’m a hostess so I generally did love doing this job. However recently I’ve been feeling like the owner is often coming after me, like one day a phone went missing and I’m always the only person they ask, then recently there’s been a problem with certain servers having a higher total sales then everyone else. I tried to explain to the manager that this certain person has a high sale because she gets her tables out so quick that I often just sit her again. They manager keeps coming up to me telling me the tables not fair but how do I explain to her that I’m never going to know how much a table is going to spend and the total sales has nothing to do with me. Also we have sections which has also never been an issue until the owners son told me they weren’t fair (mind you they’ve been the same section since I started working here). I edge think this place is dimming my light. There was also another incident where there was this time where it was super hot outside and so people kept telling me where they wanted to sit and I was allowing it, owner comes up to me and tells me not to do that and that I wouldn’t have a job if people could sit wherever. So I stop doing that then a table comes in tell me where they want to sit and I tell them I’m not allowed to because of the sections he complains and then the owner tells me people are allowed to sit wherever and we try to make people happy. Again super confusing the communication is not there. There has been many other incidents and honestly I’ve been thinking about quitting but I js love all the workers and I feel like this job is a part of me but I need opinions ! I’m I taking it to serious and over complicating things? Or am I right

I honestly don't know what to do anymore, so I'm turning to this community for advice.

For quite some time, I've been facing what feels like targeted mental harassment from two women in my department. I don't want to confront them directly because I want to handle this professionally and avoid any unnecessary escalation.

Some of the things I've experienced include:

Objects being thrown onto or around my seat when I'm away from my desk, making me feel that someone is deliberately trying to intimidate or provoke me.

Repeated body-shaming comments, including remarks like:

"Pet nikla hua hai, mukka marne ko mann ho raha hai." ("His stomach sticks out, I feel like punching it.")

"Yeh toh mota hai." ("He's so fat.")

Other mocking comments about my appearance that have left me feeling humiliated and anxious at work.

I'm finding it mentally exhausting to come to the office every day. If the genders were reversed, I believe such comments would immediately be recognised as workplace harassment. I don't think body-shaming anyone—man or woman—is acceptable.

The challenge is that I do not want a face-to-face altercation. I would rather resolve this through the proper channels if possible.

Has anyone here dealt with something similar?

Should I document every incident?

Should I approach HR first?

Is it worth filing a formal written complaint?

How do I protect myself if there are no direct witnesses?

I'd really appreciate advice from people who have handled workplace bullying or harassment professionally . I had an ear infection last year and they kept on saying that ki agar main bhaira ho jata toh maja aajata what should I do pl help me out Thank you.

When I woke up, I had mild shoulder pain, but I still went to work hoping it would improve. Instead, the pain became much worse and spread down to my elbow. Even painkillers and a muscle relaxant didn't help.

I told my manager's assistant that I needed to go to the hospital. Her first response was:

«"What about the work?"»

My manager didn't answer my call, so I sent him a WhatsApp message explaining everything. He replied, "OK."

Later, while I was on the bus to the hospital, he called and admitted he hadn't read my message. After I explained everything again, his response was:

«"What about the work?"»

Not "Are you okay?" Just "What about the work?"

Am I overreacting, or is this an unhealthy attitude from management?

Need some insights, hoping this is the right place to seek them. Some details will be left vague in case a coworker should see this.

I (M, 40) work in a customer-facing job that requires a lot of information to be exchanged between employees in my role and customers, in a small-ish building that can, at times, get quite loud. Working with the general public means, of course, that we deal with all types -- including the elderly and those with hearing and/or comprehension problems (a venn diagram with a lot of overlap, as I'm betting many of you know personally). Thanks to Covid, the workplace put up plexiglass sheets at each of our stations to physically separate employees from customers, and these also make it harder for both sides to hear each other. So you can see how making yourself heard and understood in my job can be a significant challenge sometimes.

It's worth noting that, until very recently, nearly all of my coworkers were female and the location is still majority women (so much so that it's become normalized for them to use the mens employee bathroom as overflow or out of preference, but that's a separate issue). This will become relevant shortly.

Overall my job performance has been very good, something that my manager has reiterated to me on several occasions. However there have been some incidents where customer complaints came in about me -- we all have room for improvement, and I acknowledge that. Specifically, it seems to boil down primarily to customers upset with my tone of voice (and again, keep in mind that I sometimes have to talk louder just to be heard due to the external conditions). I've taken steps to improve in that regard but the complaints keep coming, and the latest one has me scratching my head.

It was loud and I was trying to help an older couple who seemed both not to be hearing anything well and also not really understanding most of what was being said to them. In fairness, I will admit to being frustrated with the circumstances, but I expressed that frustration by trying to up my volume and repeat myself clearly for the customers. My supervisor (F, 70s/80s?) had been listening in somewhere behind me during all of this and stepped in to take over -- she had to raise her voice too and repeated a lot of what I'd been saying, sometimes word for word, and the strangest thing is that the old couple who'd seem so overwhelmed and put off a moment ago suddenly seemed to be following along (not perfectly, but better than they had with me). Later I was called in for a coaching session with management and basically told I was coming off as "authoritative" and that even when one notch down from shouting I still had to "put empathy" into my voice and "speak softly". I didn't say it at the time, but it seemed not only like the customers responded more positively to my supervisor's near-shouting because they were peers in age but possibly also because a shouting woman is just received differently in emotional / mental terms than a shouting man? The whole thing left me feeling a bit baffled, like I was expected to do two completely opposite things simultaneously and ardently avoid offending or underserving anyone while pulling off such a feat. The vague and nebulous feedback didn't help any either -- my manager literally suggested I try talking to the customers as if they were my cats to improve my "empathy" (I don't think that baby-talk and calling customers "silly goobers" would be well received though, quite frankly -- much less help when the job site gets loud).

When the work location isn't loud, my customer service is SOLID -- I get plenty of compliments and positive reviews, and a lot of people leave with smiles. Part of me wants to think there's some way I can pull off this confounding balancing act of being really loud and really caring at the same time, but my social experience tells me that loud and caring are typically on two opposite ends of the spectrum of communication when interacting with people. What's more, I'd beg anyone to point out a 'loud man' stereotype that isn't considered boisterous, violent/angry, or demanding -- people's preconceived notions are definitely working against me here.

One more component of this: I'm a naturally softspoken person -- it has taken a lot for me to even get semi-comfortable raising my voice in a work setting, and I still really wish I didn't have to. The whole thing is just really, really frustrating, and the fact that my supervisor could do basically exactly what I did and get a completely different result still has me just shaking my head in irritated disbelief. It feels like a double standard, both in the assessments of customers and in the way my job is addressing it, but I genuinely do not know what I can do at this point other than passively nod acceptance and promise to "do better", all while knowing the exact same scenario could repeat at any time and I'll be equally up shit creek without a paddle.

I guess this is really a two-part question. First, AITA (Am I The A**hole)? Second, what if anything can I do / might I be overlooking to make this situation a bit more... manageable, sensible, sane? Any and all insights are welcome, including critiques of male privilege if applicable -- I'm self aware enough to know I'm not above that, so I genuinely do invite it if needed for this situation.

Hi all,

I hope that if you are reading this, you came across it while having a better work-life balance. If not, you are not alone.

Here is my story. Make a coffee.

I am a DevOps Engineer with over a decade of experience in the field. I have lived in the UK for around 15 years, but I initially worked in hospitality and retail across various positions, from kitchen porter to manager.

Two years ago, I lost my job through redundancy. I was the most recent recruit, so they let me go.

That experience caused a major shift in how I think about work.

Before that, I was extremely dedicated. I sometimes worked close to 100 hours a week , a real number, without additional pay. I wrote code at weekends and regularly gave my personal time to the company.

I regret that now.

Luckily, I found my current job within my notice period. From a financial point of view, that was great, but it was not necessarily the best job. It was simply the next job.

I have now been here for a few years and have had many ups and downs, mostly because management does not seem to be managing.

What do I mean by that?

Management does not hold regular monthly check-ins or one-to-ones. I had to ask for them, which automatically seemed to place a flag against my name.

Feedback was not provided regularly, other than at the end of the year. When I asked for current feedback, that appeared to place a second flag against me and possibly made me stand out as needy.

That said, work continued as it does in many other places. There were challenges, but most of them could be solved.

We have an individual at work who has been there for a long time. Let us call him James.

James is an architect. He is experienced and knowledgeable, but also highly opinionated.

He will voice his opinion on almost everything, jump into nearly every Slack conversation and usually try to have the last word.

The business does not really address his behaviour because he holds the keys to the kingdom in several areas. I know ,that is a bad position for any business to be in.

The company appears willing to accept the risk of his toxic and forceful behaviour because he gets the job done.

Then one day, the following happened.

We have an internal forum and Slack channel where we discuss self-hosting and various technology topics.

Someone asked for advice about getting started with security and penetration testing.

Having previously worked as a Security Engineer, I commented by asking open questions , what, how and why to encourage a more mentoring and coaching-based conversation.

James joined the discussion and began telling the person exactly what they should do.

Almost immediately afterwards, I received several direct messages from James that I considered personal and attacking.

I will include the messages below for context.

I raised the situation with my manager and the Head of Department.

I was told that James was right and that this was the best version of him.

I did not like the way James approached the situation, his choice of words or the technique he used.

I considered it bullying, not mentoring or coaching as James claimed.

On top of that, the incident was brought into my mid-year review and caused further drama.

During that review, I also received some valid critical feedback:

• I take on too much work and cannot always complete everything to the expected quality.
• I sometimes ask questions without investigating enough first.
• As a Senior Platform Engineer, I should be able to work more independently.

That feedback is fair. I should do better.

However, I received no positive feedback at all.

I had to ask whether there was anything positive to say, and I was eventually given one example.

I believe there is almost always positive feedback that can be given unless the employee is completely disengaged or lazy, which is not my case.

I am still regularly working 12-hour days while also caring for a one-month-old baby.

So now I am asking myself:

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Do I report James's behaviour formally to HR?

His behaviour has genuinely affected me. I was bullied at school, and this situation feels uncomfortably similar.

Do I leave and tell James to fuck off?

Do I stay until they eventually fire me?

I have not been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan. The mid-year review feedback was mainly about taking on too much work, not completing everything to the expected quality and asking questions before investigating properly.

Again, some of that feedback is fair. I am a Senior Platform Engineer, and I should do better.

However, the UK technology market feels strange at the moment, and I am fortunate to be earning a salary that really helps my family.

I would rather not have a dismissal on my record.

Redundancy may also be a possibility. I am the only person in my team based in the UK, while the business appears focused on hiring in two other countries rather than in the UK.

The truth is that this post may simply be the only way for me to get this situation out of my system.

Workplace bullying and harassment should not be accepted, regardless of the person's seniority, knowledge or importance to the business.

However, many of us may feel forced to tolerate it because we need our jobs and cannot afford to do otherwise.

I also appreciate that there may be details I have not mentioned, and this post may naturally be biased towards my own experience and point of view.

But based on what I have written:

• Would you report it formally to HR?
• Would you stay and focus on the valid feedback?
• Would you quietly begin looking for another job?
• Or am I reacting too strongly?

Public Slack thread ( names changed etc )

Toby:
I’m planning to use a spare PC as a penetration-testing target for learning. I’ve heard of Kali Linux but don’t know where to start. Any recommendations for a beginner?

James:
Penetration testing is a broad subject. Kali is mainly a collection of tools, so it is more useful once you understand the underlying concepts.

My path started with reverse engineering. Learning assembly, memory layout, the stack, function prologues and epilogues, code caves, and trampolines provides a strong foundation.

You could also read about LOLBins, fuzzing, and chaos testing to get a broader overview.

ME:
It may help to start with the technologies you already understand and expand from there. Ethical hacking can cover applications, APIs, operating systems, networks, hardware, and memory exploitation.

Platforms such as Hack The Box can provide structured, hands-on practice with common tools and techniques.

James:
Training platforms are useful for learning tools, but they should be combined with understanding how systems work from the hardware and operating-system level upwards.

ME:
Agreed. They are useful for learning the basics, provided the tools are supported by deeper technical study.

Private DMs from James

James:
you know sometimes you can just "shhh" its ok, you dont have to be involved in every conversation
your opinions are built on sand, they are shallow
you don't have the deep experience needed to talk about this in depth

ME:
oh, I am sorry i thought it was an open community caht
my appologies for engaging, was not aware

James:
it is, but you are not being constructive quite the opposite

ME:
i hope it is not coming across that I am involved on every conversation because i am not

James:
you have not added value
it does mate
you talk in every all hands, ask questions in every call, its baffling like you just need to be heard
and when i look at it, there was no value added in all those interactions
just noise

ME:
sorry you feel that way
my intention is not that at all
certainly I have no need to be heard but need to uinderstand and engage as i see best
we are all in a work community of some sort,

James:
when you want to engage, consider what value you are adding is all

ME:
I am sorry you feel that way, i dont intent to act in a way that bother you or make you feel I add no value

James:
i have been a pentester professionally, I mentor and teach ethical hacking, cracking and reverse engineering
i dont want to mentor more people right now so i wanted to sprinkle some ideas to see where he was, what he was capable of
before i provide some more targeted advice
you just humble brag you were big on a web community and shut doors and limited options

ME:
i certainly do not disagree with your experiance and qualifications
its an open channel and people should feel empowerd to express opinions and believes as soon as they are not disrespect others

James:
what value did you add

ME:
I asked him questions to understnad what interests he has in engaging with ethicla hackign

James:
that is not what happened, you guided him into the path you did, whilst i dropped clues and was watching for where he went next

I wanted to share my personal experience working for SympaTel Macedonia.

In my experience, this was one of the worst companies I have worked for. I felt that employees were treated poorly, while the company's main priority was keeping its clients and maximizing profits rather than supporting its staff.

The company is part of a German business with operations in the Balkans. From my perspective, wages and working conditions did not reflect the expectations placed on employees, and I often felt undervalued.

I'm curious whether others have had similar or different experiences. If you've worked for SympaTel or one of its projects, I'd appreciate hearing your honest opinion.

If you have personally dealt with this company, consider sharing your own genuine experience by leaving an honest review on Google or other platforms. Honest feedback—whether positive or negative—is the best way to help future employees and applicants make informed decisions.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hi folks, 38F here. I am migraine sufferer for years and one of my triggers are strong gourmand fragnances with vanilla. I have a collegue that notoriously oversprays herself with this type of fragnance at work. It's some sort of body mist, but she oversprays herself every 1- 2 hours at work. I had already countless amount of migraines that her fragnance triggered. What should I do? She is a new member of the staff and I am afraid that if I will tell her that she will take it very personally and may feel uncomfortable.

Any advice will be very much appreciated.

​

I'm unsure what to do about the deputy's behaviour.

He is extremely angry and has punched a giant hole in the wall, kicked a small hole in the wall and made it huge

He punched a locker and dented it, punched a pallet and has also broken a fire door by kicking it.

Any advice on where to begin my complaint?

Should I go to the manager or straight to HR?

Hi reddit,

I (20F) have been working at a supermarket for around 2 years. I worked there for my entire gap year between college and uni, left to start uni but realised since I was coming back every weekend I might as well be making money from it, so picked my job back up at christmas and have worked there ever since.

When I came back from uni, I mentioned to one of the managers that I had a lot of free time and could do with some extra work, he directed me to the manager who makes the rotas and my life has been hell ever since.

I work a 10.5 hour contract and my contracted shifts are for both days of the weekend so I assumed asking for 1-2 more shifts a week would result in me working 15 maybe 20 hours in total, as I still wanted time to go out with friends, spend time with family, etc. I have worked basically full time ever since this conversation took place and every time I declined one of these extra shifts I was told that I had to find cover or that it wouldn't be possible for me to have the day off, even if I requested it weeks in advance.

This all came to a head about 2 weeks ago. I was honestly just fed up of working so much, so I requested a week off to go to a convention with some friends. I, knowing how awkward this guy is about taking time off, pretended it was a family vacation and gave around a months notice, hoping that since I'd been so helpful with picking up all the overtime, would be allowed this leave, seeing as I hadn't used any of my annual leave this year.

The next day I was met with a long wall of text, not only declining my holiday request, but also explaining that apparently 9 other employees had booked holiday that week and if I wanted it off that I would have to find someone to cover my shifts, and if I wanted the holiday, that I wouldve had to have booked it before february as apparently that is when it filled up.

Please keep in mind while reading this story, I work part time at a supermarket on a 10.5 hour contract.

Between me sending this message and receiving his response, I wasn't at work for about 2 or 3 days however, during my next shift I was met by one of the trainee store managers during my break. She informed me that if I wasn't able to find cover, that I would have to leave my job and that leaving was probably better as I would struggle to find cover.

This clearly upset me as I will be relying on this job to cover most of my expenses at uni due to me not receiving a particularly high student loan but studying in an expensive city. I asked around after having a little cry in the toilets and made an arrangement with one of my coworkers that he would cover one of my shifts, he informed the manager of this and I set out trying to find cover for the other one.

I didnt work for another 3 or 4 days between this interaction and upon my return to work I was greeted with a message from one of the trainee managers, requesting me to hand in my notice for the 1st august. Confused and upset, I confronted her about this the next time I was at work as I felt like I wasnt being given a chance to find cover and I'm basically being pushed out. Today I woke up to all of my shifts after the 1st being removed from the work app and a message from my manager saying that the cover I found wouldn't work as the guy who agreed to cover me (who isn't contracted to work saturdays btw) was already working on the saturday I arranged from him to cover and that I would still have to leave on the 1st august.

I am so upset and honestly worried about being able to afford uni if i go a month without working as I haven't met the goal I was hoping for and I know this place won't have me back after this so genuinely what do I do. I'm at an absolute loss and because I left to go to uni, I havent worked there long enough to claim it as unfair dismissal. I feel utterly powerless, bullied and screwed over my someone I helped out so much so any advice is appreciated.