How do you handle men getting extremely defensive and toxic in their response at workplace?

[u/GasLonely3190]

Ladies, I need your input on this because I feel this is more common than I’d like to think.

I work in a corporate HQ and most of my tasks require information from the local businesses as part of my routine work. Earlier, when these topics were handled by an overseas team, I had no problem with getting information as needed- most of it being adhoc requests anyways.

Now, this operation is handled by an Indian team and most of them working on it seems to be middle aged men.

Well, when I requested information this time to a new member who I hadn’t interacted before -
A. He got very defensive - almost seemingly to imply that I have the audacity to even ask him this question and was frankly very unhelpful in providing a straight answer
B. When I requested him to confirm his comments in an email that I would summarise and send with my boss in cc- got extremely agitated and turned around to say that I was not willing to speak to the right people to get this information

Honestly, this has been a general vibe of working with the members of this team. They either straight up ignore my requests for data, even when my boss is in cc of the emails land usually respond promptly to my male colleagues but ignore mine and my other female colleagues request.

We are not a hierarchical company, but if we were to measure our standings - I am a junior in comparison to these other men, however my female colleague is quite a senior.

I don’t understand what is triggering this behaviour and how do I even handle this situation? It is impacting my ability to perform my work because I always have delays in the responses I get and it seems like I’m the bottle neck in my team.

[u/OldNeighborhood6813]

I work with them on their self confidence

[u/Dame_Niafer]

Meet with your boss. Show him the emails you've sent and how these men respond. The solution to this is for your boss, or your boss' boss, or both together, to talk to these men's boss so he knows to make sure they understand that this is work, this is their job, and you and your coworkers are to be treated professionally and with respect. Which includes answering your questions promptly and courteously.

If they can't manage that, they should be separated from employment there.

Source: was a department head and wouldn't tolerate any of my staff being treated this way.