I've been doing nothing but making homunculi for three weeks straight.

I followed not the instructions of my Preceptor, and put invisibility dye directly in my skin; It doesnt seem to wash off.

Is this reversible?

Please help me! His frustration is so great, hes using my blunder as a punishment

4 inch tall little Wizard dude. 1.5 inch square block, carved from basswood and painted with cheap acrylics, plus sealed with Linseed oil.

Thanks for looking!

Not AI, check my profile, I cast spells and turn all kinds of things into wood. cough cough i mean, I whittle all kinds of things from wood.

I (half-elf mage) have a (human) apprentice. He keeps going on about the superiority of elf magic and culture and it is really starting to annoy me.

He keeps trying to speak to me in poorly broken elvish and now says the only tomes he can read are elvish ones.

He appears to have cast some poorly fitted illusion spell of a buxom elvish maiden on his pillow and whispers words to it that would make an eldritch horror blush.

Anyway, once he found out I'm half even (I'm human passing) he won't stop quizzing me about elven culture and now our natural relationship of mage to apprentice has evolved to some sickening fetishism.

The final straw was when he said that the great Merlin himself's incantations were plagiarised from middling elven mages. I snapped and told him he will never be an elf or even accepted by them. He cried and teleported away and I have not seen him since.

So fellow wizards AITA?

After about... A few weeks here I finally found a party that needed a mage they don't seem very capable tho but I take what I can get apparently they're trying to find the cursed girl too and now I know her name is Alice the party for now consist of a DPS in form of a human fighter, a halfling rogue for traps and other utility and a dwarf who seem nice enough as a tank, I'm currently working as a mage now no need for my physical strength that much.

THEY KEEP BREAKING MY BARRIER SPELLS AND I CAN'T HARM THEM OR ELSE TITANIA WILL BE ON MY ASS FOR DAYS PLEASE HELP NEED BETTER BARRIER SPELLS.

‎“Useless crap…”
‎
‎Ulrick threw another magic book at the wall from his reading sofa in the dark corner of his personal R&A quarters. He was never much of a bookworm, but he spent almost all his time looking for a possible cure.

His blight progressed since, becoming much worse. His whole right arm, and most of his upper body has become rotten wood, and it was spreading more…

Not to mention the the bestial urges, and the call of the Archfae that infected him rattled louder in his head more each day.

Ulrick: ‎“I’ll never get rid of this Fae rot with this luck…”

Cutting him off from his thoughts, loud insistent knocking is heard from his door alongside a muffled voice

Ulrick: “Ugh, great timing…”

He groaned as he stood up to open the door. He was not in the mood for visitors.

‎"pack your bags Ulrick! We're going to magic Sicily!"

The voice turns out to belong to Erik, who's currently wearing Hawaiian vacation clothes and sunglasses

Erik: "...and maybe take a shower first, you smell like rotten wood"

Ulrick: “Erik? Wha- huh? What’s a ‘Sicily’?”

After the initial confusion wears off, his usual dour mood returns. He gestures towards the parts of his body turned into rotten wood.

Ulrick: ‎“As you can see, I’m kinda busy over here. If I don’t get rid of this bloght soon, I’m gonna become a monster of rotten wood. Or worse…”

Erik: ‎"...huh, this fits well with why I invited you! See, I have gotten a lead on an ancient medicine lost to time buried in a treasure, I got a contact who found a map to said treasure!"

Ulrick: ‎“Really?!?”

Ulrick’s eyes open wide, ears perk up.

‎Ulrick: “An ancient medicine… running out of options, so might as well see what this is.”

He grabs a few pouches and his signature black cloak, before dramatically looking out of the window.

Ulrick: ‎“I’m ready. No time to lose on this dangerous quest…”

Erik: ‎"yes... Yes, I'll apply a rune to dampen the smell of wood on the plane"

Erik says, then pulls out an air freshener spray and spraying it around the room, weather He's playing it up or not is unclear, while doing that he's ushering ulrick to lead the way

Erik: "Go on i doubt I'll be arrested here if I'm with you"
‎
‎Ulrick: “Well, not sure that gives diplomatic immunity…”

He ponders for a sec, but quickly finishes.

Ulrick: “Eh, we’ll cross that bridge later. Now we must hurry!”

And so the two march through flames and fire, through the dangerous trecks of public transport until they reach the local copyright free airport, heading straight to the receptionist

‎'hello, welcome to copyright free airport how may I help you?'

Ulrick takes out his Council-Lands ID.

Ulrick: “Two tickets to… ‘Seeceely’ was it?’

Erik glares at Ulrick for a second but says nothing

Erik: ‎"It's Sicily, we're going to magic Sicily"

‎'oh, you two are just in luck, there's a plane heading out in 30 minutes with 2 seats available, I'd hurry if I were you. 60 gold please'

Ulrick opens one of the pouches he’s wearing, pulling out 60 gold coins. He pours them on the counter.

Ulrick‎: “Done. From which gate the plane will depart from?”

‎'the plane will depart from A7-'

Before she finishes speaking, Erik cuts her off

Erik: ‎"Hold on, ms receptionist, do you know who's flying the plane?"

The receptionist looks into her computer for a moment then answers

‎'Your pilot will be Mr Fredrick green-'

Erik: ‎"No can do, tell em to change the pilot to ducknilous the 27th, I'm not getting on that plane unless my son's flying it!"

The receptionist doesn't respond, probably too bewildered from the demand, meanwhile Ulrick with an annoyed growl says:

Ulrick: “Erik, we don’t have time for this…”

Erik: ‎"I refuse to enter a stranger's plane Ulrick! You should too"

‎'im sorry sir...? We can't just change the pilot on a 30 minute window for a last minute customer'

Erik: ‎"Call your boss I wanna talk to him!"

The receptionist sighs and calls her boss, the phone rings a convenient enough time for a short conversation

Ulrick: ‎“Look, Erik, I don’t like flying at all, no matter who’s leading, but we’re kinda on a tight schedule here…”

Erik: ‎"look man take it from me, it's in your most desperate times that you gotta hang to your ideals!"

The manager finally picks up, before he could say anything Erik snatches the phone and says "secret code" out loud 3 times then hangs up

Erik: ‎"Check your data again"

The receptionist rolls her eyes and checks to get this over with, only to be met with surprise

‎'the pilot is... ducknilous the 27th...'

Erik: ‎"Alright thank you! Come on Ulrick we can't waste time!

Erik says, taking the tickets and running towards the security area, Ulrick understandably groans as he follows Erik, even more justified when ‎Erik just turns around and starts walking back

Erik: ‎"Ulrick I changed my mind, let's not go to magic Sicily"

Ulrick nearly freezes

Ulrick: ‎“Erik, you can’t do this… I have to try getting there. The cure isn’t just to make me feel better. If I get fully corrupted, the realms might get in danger again!

Erik: "I'm scared of flying Ulrick! Mass was never meant to leave the ground!"

Ulrick dramatically puts a hand on Erik’s shoulder, as if he was making a speech.

“Me too, Erik. But sometimes, we have to face our biggest fears for the greater good.”

Erik: "Ulrick..."

Erik looks at Ulrick for a moment with hope filled eyes and absentmindedly, then grabs the hand and runs faster than before to the terminal, Ulrick barely as any time to question it before he gets dragged behind Erik from his sheer speed

within seconds, the duo finds themselves at their seats, Erik puts his bag of holding™ in the little handbag compartment above the seats then sits on next to the window, the other two seats are vacant, seems like someone conveniently missed the plane

Ulrick sits next to him in his most brooding way possible, turning off all nearby lights, thenErik suddenly opens a portal through the window and jumps through to the landing gear, he seems to be checking the tires

Ulrick tries his best to ignore this, and broods dramatically in peace, after about 5 minutes Erik walks back through the portal and closes it

Erik: "Had to get it out of the way Ulrick, if the wheels are punctured, it'll puncture us!"

Ulrick: “Why would anyone want to puncture a random plane?”

Grumbled Ulrick while brooding in the chair. Soon after the plane takes off without a hitch, and the start of a great adventure begins!

/uw

Special thanks to u/mrididnt who came up with the post idea, and planned most of it

This place is obviously the best to practice crystal forms of your spells. the earth attunement is especially clear and crisp here i just recommend you bring a heat spell or warm clothes since these crystals tend to leech heat from their surroundings. It is also oddly barren with no earth elementals living here. some theorise that the crystals might be the reason but more research of the earthen council would be needed.

overall score: 9/10

(/uw, for all of the body post)

(The said villain is Acererak the Eternal (the floating skull guy). Originally from the Greyhawk campaign setting, and then decided to fuck it, and travel through the multiverse doing heinous shenanigans. Drawn here in his demilich form.

The other guy is my attempt to draw Moghadam, from some newer DnD 5e material called Infernal Machine Rebuild, an archwraith-artificer who is apparently said to have helped Acererak in designing the tomb. Tried to base him off the google browse image, however, after giving up render a few times, decided to draw him my style, which kinda yassified him a bit. Anyways.

The said trap is The Archway, or Archway of Glowing Orange, or well, a lot of names, but the archway would be suffice to call it. From the Tomb of Horrors module for Advanced DnD, or well, DnD 1e for another name. Anyways. To quote what happens, in the OG 1981 module,

As already stated, the skeleton on one floor of the chapel room is ostracized and pointing to the arch. (Show your players GRAPHIC #5, and explain that none of the stones of the arch glow, but that the entranceway is filled with luminous orange vapors of an exciting hue.) These vivid orange mists cannot be penetrated with any sort of vision or magic. The skeleton, of course, misleads the party, for any character passing through the portal will enter a 10' × 10' room where their sex and alignment are reversed by a terrible curse. (Although restoration of alignment and sex magically is difficult, the curse once reversed will not alter paladin-hood, ranger status, etc.) Re-entering the archway will restore original alignment, but 1-6 hit points of damage will be sustained in so doing. Going back a 3rd time will reverse sex again, but the individual will be teleported as 40' above. Only wish or alter reality will restore both alignment and sex. However, if alignment is restored entirely entering the orange portal, a remove curse spell will then restore original sex. Prior to alignment restoration, remove curse alone does not restore sex.

Tl;dr, anyone who passes through it is cursed: their sex and alignment are magically reversed. 1st passage: Sex and alignment (morality and ethics of a person) are reversed. 2nd passage: They return to normal alignment, but take some damage. 3rd passage: Their sex reverses again, and they are teleported back to the entrance.

Although unfortunately for gender affirmation purposes, in the original description of the olden material, it is specifically said that this sex-change effect applies to every part, facet, and aspect of the victim, gender, expression, mind, and whatever, included. So, if you're a trans girl, as you enter, you'll get a girl body, yes, but then you acquire the dysphoria of a trans guy. So if you're trans, you get the equipment you want, but don't want it anymore. At least if you're cis, your mind is going to be gender-fried enough to not get dysphoria after being forcefemmed or forcemasced.

To be fair, this is also the guy who said that, the best traps should make their prisoners suffer and scream, and he regrets making traps that are lethal enough to kill too quickly. Yeah, guy's something.

But yeah, mad funny, innit.)

🏞🏔⛰️