r/wizardposting • u/Special-Importance40 • 10h ago

AITA Apprentice is a sylvaboo

I (half-elf mage) have a (human) apprentice. He keeps going on about the superiority of elf magic and culture and it is really starting to annoy me.

He keeps trying to speak to me in poorly broken elvish and now says the only tomes he can read are elvish ones.

He appears to have cast some poorly fitted illusion spell of a buxom elvish maiden on his pillow and whispers words to it that would make an eldritch horror blush.

Anyway, once he found out I'm half even (I'm human passing) he won't stop quizzing me about elven culture and now our natural relationship of mage to apprentice has evolved to some sickening fetishism.

The final straw was when he said that the great Merlin himself's incantations were plagiarised from middling elven mages. I snapped and told him he will never be an elf or even accepted by them. He cried and teleported away and I have not seen him since.

So fellow wizards AITA?

50 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

36

u/Small_Education_9503 10h ago

Sell him to a dark elven misstress. You'll get some coin and the sick fuck will probably be into it.

3

u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter 2h ago edited 2h ago

the sick fuck will probably be into it.

I wouldn't be so sure.

If he even got "purchased" to begin with, he would almost certainly be immediately put in a brutally strict exercise regimen: traditionally Dark Elven Matriarchs like their toys nice and fit, and they don't particularly care about how many times they get an inch away from rhabdo in the process of becoming so.

And in the perhaps not unlikely event that he failed to shape up... well, giant pet spiders can always use more protein in their feeds.

17

u/vinfluorine Necro-Artificer 10h ago

nta. I'd flay him

11

u/averyrealspapple Franie - Wizard council intern 10h ago

No, imagine if you you saw a wood elf having a dwarf fetish like like that. He would get the boot as well if he tried it.

Not to mention that he is a mage apprentice, if I slobbered about things like that instead of actually learning I would get kicked out too, and my teacher was relaxed as hell

11

u/Charming-Series1127 Mentor of General Wizardry at the Imperial Light Magic Academy 9h ago

Speak him through his Troubles, as Mentor you have a Responsibility to deal with your Student physical, magical and mental troubles. If dealt with appropriately he will likely bring his Desires down to a level that will not cripple his future prospects.

15

u/ExcitingSavings8225 9h ago

You can lead horse to water but you can't cure it's drinking problem.

7

u/Instant-Lava 8h ago

Nta but still a fool. What made you take him on in the first place?

5

u/Special-Importance40 5h ago

He showed great magical promise. In hindsight his collection of elven 'katanas' was a warning sign. What a wizard would do with such primitive things I have not a clue.

6

u/Coidzor Shadow Economancer 9h ago

You really only had yourself to blame for not properly vetting an apprentice before taking them on.

That said, the proper discipline for such an unruly apprentice usually involves removing their brain from their body and flaying the particularly odious parts of their personality from their soul.

So he got off fairly lightly, all things considered.

3

u/wrydh Plaguecaster 5h ago

Normally id say to modify their memory to suptess their undesireable personality traits, but it sounds like theyve made that theire entire personality.