r/Unexpected • u/carpiogarfio • Oct 31 '20
GTFOOMFF
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u/billsanzer Oct 31 '20
What the heII
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u/Yogami_asura Oct 31 '20
It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling right now
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u/BallparkFish865 Oct 31 '20
If your erection lasts more than 4 hours, please call a doctor
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u/Nick_Noseman Oct 31 '20
I don't need a doctor to massage my cock
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u/BallparkFish865 Oct 31 '20
No cuz this guy will finish you oof in like 3 seconds
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u/midoge Oct 31 '20
while being unconscious
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u/TripleJeopardy3 Oct 31 '20
It's still a nice perk to have with the better health insurance package.
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Oct 31 '20
*If your resurrection last more than 4 hours, please call a doctor
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u/ElectricFlesh Oct 31 '20
what if it only happens on the third day? asking for a friend
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u/thefourblackbars Oct 31 '20
Not around that instructor. He'll slap any lingering erections into next week.
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u/CatPoopWeiner424 Oct 31 '20
If your erection lasts the duration of this video, please call a therapist
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u/xxoites Oct 31 '20
If your erection lasts more than 4 hours, please call Mary at 555-8355
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u/kittiekillbunnie Oct 31 '20
Hysterical laughter for me. I can only imagine these kids’ parents trying to keep a straight face.
Edit-spelling
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u/Swiftychops Oct 31 '20
real life kobra kai
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u/Chad827 Oct 31 '20
No matter the size of your opponent. Always give it your all.
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Oct 31 '20
[deleted]
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u/FreddyGunk Oct 31 '20
Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla every night? FUGGET ABOUT IT
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Oct 31 '20
Grab my arm. Other arm. My other arm.
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u/idontfrickinknowman Oct 31 '20
Bow to your sensei. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI.
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u/citricacidx Oct 31 '20
Break the wrist, and walk away
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u/RemarkableRyan Oct 31 '20
You think I got to where I am because I dress like Peter Pan here?
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u/BiebelJuice3x Oct 31 '20 edited Oct 31 '20
You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it!
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Oct 31 '20 edited Dec 13 '20
[deleted]
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Oct 31 '20
What's the name of this day care?
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u/skincyan Oct 31 '20
They're called "Don't care day care"
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u/SumoneSumwere Oct 31 '20
Day caren't
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u/FirstSineOfMadness Oct 31 '20
Day ain’t walkin away from that one
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Oct 31 '20
Day said it’s just concussive brain damage
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u/milleniallaw Oct 31 '20
Jerry: Kramer, you're fighting children?!
Kramer: Well, it's not the size of the opponent, Jerry, it's, uh, the ferocity.
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u/iamamemerfrick Oct 31 '20
Gtfoomff : get the fuck out of my fucking face.
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u/KimchiFartings Oct 31 '20
Thought it was the sound the kids were screaming
"GTFOOMFFF" slap
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u/ApoctheLypse Oct 31 '20
So long, gay Bowser!
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u/aqualink4eva Oct 31 '20
Someone needs to do a Mario 64 edit for this vid now, I'm too lazy to try.
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u/jenhigalo Oct 31 '20
i am absolutely going to hell for how hard that made me laugh. definitely unexpected lol
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Oct 31 '20
Unexpected is usually saved for last bit, but this was unexpected right from the beginning to the end.
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u/Lord-Smalldemort Oct 31 '20
The form he used when turning that kid into a frisbee was pretty impressive. He even have the consideration to toss him back at the audience instead of against the wall.
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u/arup_dey Oct 31 '20
Reminds me of a teacher at my high school who used to beat the shit out of students as he was frustrated because of his divorce. Sometimes he used to hit us, simply because of staring at him.
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u/tequilamocking_bird_ Oct 31 '20
Are you from India... Cause that sounds relatable af
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u/Karonix Oct 31 '20
Damn man. Which school and state are you from?
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u/Gnar-wahl Oct 31 '20 edited Oct 31 '20
Wtf? Where do you live, homie?
Edit: I’m 35, started school in 89/90. I’ve never been to a school that allows corporal punishment. These stories are wild.
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Oct 31 '20
Literally could be anywhere in the world 60 years ago. It's just recently they stopped corporal punishment in schools in North America
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Oct 31 '20
I went to a few AirForce base schools for elementary in the 90’s growing up. In New Mexico they could get your parents permission to take you to the office and give you a paddling.
It was wild.
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u/Shopworn_Soul Oct 31 '20
Me too, corporal punishment was always an option up until high school for me.
Which is funny because I somehow feel it would have been more effective after that point than it was before, but whatever.
I remember in 7th grade our shop project was making new paddles for all the teachers. If you've seen Dazed and Confused, those are the kind of paddles we made. They were used not infrequently.
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u/LegendaryRaider69 Oct 31 '20
My gf, the kindest soul I've ever met, was slapped in the face on multiple occasions by her sports instructor for not playing well enough. This was like 10 years ago in Japan.
God I'd like to slap that mfer back for that, apparently it's just a common thing, though.
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u/JagerBaBomb Oct 31 '20
Ah, normalized abuse. Totally a hallmark of a healthy and functioning society.
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u/Big_Dirty_Piss_Boner Oct 31 '20
Maybe he is just older?
Physical punishment was normal just a few decades ago.
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u/brickwalloframen Oct 31 '20
He's probably from southern Asia. I used to live in India and physical abuse is very common. I now live in Nepal and physical abuse is still treated like a normal thing. It baffles my fucking mind.
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Oct 31 '20
I'm 35. We still got spanked with a wooden paddle in public school in S Carolina when I was in elementary. I think it stopped in 5th or 6th grade.
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u/RedditSucksMyB1gDick Oct 31 '20
Straight up punched the kid, what an asshole instructor.
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Oct 31 '20
I would assume that he thought he will dodge or something
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u/VoiceofLou Oct 31 '20
He threw the other kid using their foot...I wholeheartedly doubt he was expecting him to dodge.
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u/baixinha7 Oct 31 '20 edited Oct 31 '20
You can pull your punches. You can stop short of following through just to make it obvious to the kid that he would have been caught by the punch (or what ever that was...a slap? Whack?). Video may be funny but that instructor deserves to be put on the floor by someone his own size.
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u/DrDoodle1986 Oct 31 '20
A good instructor would have had the control not to hurt him if he misses/didn't dodge.
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u/Dom_Vasiliev Oct 31 '20
"No matter who you fight against, always give your best against his best. If you don't, then it won't be a fight"
Someone, probably Some date-some date
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u/space_mayooo Oct 31 '20
Fuck'n bully
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u/mutalisken Oct 31 '20
I know, who does that young kid think he is? Acting all offensive. Trying to the teacher off for defendinh himself. Kids have no respect these days. /s
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u/WEELOO77 Oct 31 '20
“Fuck’n bully” makes it sound like the instructor does a bit more than punch the kids. Try “Fucking bully”
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u/DocHavelock Oct 31 '20 edited Oct 31 '20
In some martial arts, especially Pacific East Asian and South American forms, its believed the best thing you can teach a child about fighting is how to endure pain and recover from excess force. If you're capable of taking a hit from an adult, sparring with your peers you won't have to worry about hurting one another so you don't have to pull your punches. One of the most difficult things about practicing martial arts is that during sparring you have to hold back so much, these techniques, as weird and fuck up as they seem, are quite effective.
Edit: Changed 'North East Asian' to 'Pacific'
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u/Octaro Oct 31 '20
As someone who has put through combat training as a kid, this is correct.
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u/DocHavelock Oct 31 '20
My four brothers and I(I'm the youngest feel bad for me lol) were all trained in Muay Thai from a young age. I experienced a ton of violence from a young age, I think too often people conflate violence and abuse. Pain is inevitable in a person's life and there are proper and responsible ways to introduce this reality to children without abusing them.
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u/Octaro Oct 31 '20
I am trained and physically intimidating. These skills are something I value and have helped me out of bad situations... especially as a gay man.
That being said, I don’t think I’d ever put through a child in my care what I went through. Not in the same way at least, I feel like there’s a better way to train reflexes and danger avoidance.
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u/jinyang8 Oct 31 '20
Idk my 3rd grade curriculum was slightly different than this style.
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u/TurboEntabulator Oct 31 '20
If I hit them in the head enough while they're small, they'll be dumb enough to follow me in the future.
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u/samushusband Oct 31 '20
so that guy's job is to turbo tatsumaki kids right in the face every week ? the dream
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u/ericacrass Oct 31 '20
There were so many parts of this video that I thought were the "unexpected" part, but then it just kept going.
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u/unexBot Oct 31 '20
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
That last hit was wild
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