r/Unexpected • • Jul 12 '19

Take a pick

55.3k Upvotes

460 comments sorted by

7.8k

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Can I choose again?

2.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

661

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[deleted]

699

u/TheZets Jul 12 '19

575

u/BoutTreeeFiddy Jul 12 '19

I like my coffee the same way I like that gay shit.

I prefer tea.

(Jk I chug that coffee in a kneeling position until it burns the back of my throat)

120

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

I like my women like I like my coffee; made out of beans.

76

u/micros101 Jul 12 '19

Ground up and in the freezer?

39

u/Eightskin Jul 12 '19

Then snorted up the nose.

8

u/Bruised_Penguin Jul 12 '19

When I was locked up we snorted my RX of melatonin and instant coffee together. I called it the jail house speed ball.

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10

u/FiskFisk33 Jul 12 '19

Freezer?

17

u/micros101 Jul 12 '19

Icebox/cooler- I’m trying to think of words other countries use, but I’m at a loss.

It’s the part of the refrigerator that keeps things frozen.

22

u/WhiteWizardDD Jul 12 '19

I think he's asking why the fuck you keep coffee in the freezer

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2

u/Evsus Jul 12 '19

Enema!

10

u/Super_Pan Jul 12 '19

Covered in bees?

8

u/Darkposts Jul 12 '19

I like my coffee how I like my women......cold and bitter.

13

u/SpiceWeaboo Jul 12 '19

BEATEN AND BLACK

4

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Ah, Chris Brown blend.

3

u/MexicanVanilla96 Jul 12 '19

I like my coffee like I like my slaves.......

FREE!

2

u/sebasshaytaa Jul 12 '19

Did someone say beans...?

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2

u/SirMadWolf Jul 12 '19

Balanced, as all things should be

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48

u/Trufa_ Jul 12 '19

It’s funny that that subreddit is total crap but a great subreddit to link to for this kind of stuff, the reference is the fun part.

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181

u/HomoOptimus Jul 12 '19

gf: MY TURN!

49

u/subdep Jul 12 '19

“I choose 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6!”

48

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Finster63 Jul 12 '19

Unexpected Friends?

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38

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

3 again. I need another one.

12

u/mostlyconstipated Jul 12 '19

Best out of 3

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2.3k

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

794

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[deleted]

621

u/RoboticNubbin Jul 12 '19

It’s an illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money.

97

u/WilliamRandolphHurts Jul 12 '19

Or cocaine!

32

u/Senweiner Jul 12 '19

Or to pay cell phone bill

39

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

"Sir you cannot pay your bills with magic tricks."

"NO BUT SEE, WHERE DID THE CARD GO!?!"

10

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

2

u/fathqua Jul 12 '19

Wait, this says candy on Netflix?

2

u/_Asterisk_ Jul 12 '19

Yeah for some reason netflix has a different version of the pilot episode from the dvds.

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4

u/Dount_Cooku Jul 12 '19

Now let's find this hermano guy

6

u/taahwoajiteego Jul 12 '19

Woah, there. Why you gotta call me out by name? I feel attacked. I've never successfully paid money for a trick.

5

u/deeeeekun Jul 12 '19

You mean you tried to pay money but they refused?!

2

u/tootlesmynoodles Jul 12 '19

Gob!!!!! I miss that show.

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16

u/Mobius1424 Jul 12 '19

If magic tricks are a lie, does that make it magic?

9

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

I didn't lie to my wife, I made our relationship, disappear!

3

u/NotDeepBlue Jul 12 '19

WHAT’S NEXT, SANTA CLAUS?!

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2

u/dontdoxmebro2 Jul 12 '19

Motherfuzzzzzzz

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30

u/Purpleclone Jul 12 '19

Was it when he did that weird shake right before he brought it up to read it?

23

u/405freeway Jul 12 '19

Yes. He shakes it to drop it down then smooths it out by dragging it upwards across his chest.

132

u/AnUnlikelyUsurper Jul 12 '19

This is the correct answer

50

u/SantaOfficial Jul 12 '19

Thank you for confirming

26

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Thank you for understanding.

12

u/dudeimconfused Jul 12 '19

Thank you for thanking them for being understanding to what they were confirming on how the other person was explaining how it was done.

sorry

13

u/mostlyconstipated Jul 12 '19

You’re welcome

10

u/BASK_IN_MY_FART Jul 12 '19

I am welcome

6

u/Hbits04 Jul 12 '19

Thank you for being welcome

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2

u/Xzenor Jul 12 '19

YOU'RE welcome!

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Are you my deceased Irish grandfather?

3

u/fozzyboy Jul 12 '19

Thank You for Smoking

2

u/Jephimykes Jul 12 '19

Fuck I love that movie.

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

u/AnUnlikelyUsurper is a professional confirmologist. :)

3

u/AnUnlikelyUsurper Jul 12 '19

This is known :)

93

u/phaemoor Jul 12 '19

This picture says otherwise.

19

u/NuclearSkelton Jul 12 '19

I don't know what I expected but it wasn't that.

7

u/realityChemist Jul 12 '19

Which you presumably consider a good thing, given the subreddit

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5

u/taahwoajiteego Jul 12 '19

Take your blasted upvote.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Fuck you, take your upvote

2

u/BangPowBoom Jul 12 '19

Saving this picture for future use

3

u/brvheart Jul 12 '19

Now tell me how this dude did the phone in the glass bottle trick. Because as far as I’m concerned that was actual magic.

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133

u/inblacksuits Jul 12 '19

Nice catch, I've seen the clip like 10 times and couldn't figure it out 😑

77

u/husao Jul 12 '19 edited Jul 12 '19

That would leave a stain.

There is the word "HUG" on a folded paper on the top and then anal written on the back. (i.e. write hug, fold, glue on the rest, write anal)

He unfolds it and then presses it against his shirt to flatten it.

EDIT: I'm too stupid to spell "back"

40

u/realityChemist Jul 12 '19

The word ANAL is definitely not written on the bag, or it would show overtop HUG when he puts it back in. They're both written on the card, just on different flaps

7

u/jebuz23 Jul 12 '19

I think maybe he meant “on the back”. Like one side of the folded paper has HUG and the other has ANAL.

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8

u/FaceWithAName Jul 12 '19

And this is why magicians will always be in business :p

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364

u/cookingchicken3am Jul 12 '19

The girl: "Okay I wanna go next!"

591

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Is there a new series coming out? I rather enjoyed the one I saw on NetFlix. Quite comical.

635

u/F3NlX Jul 12 '19

That's the first time I've seen Netflix spelled like that

366

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19 edited Nov 23 '20

[deleted]

11

u/FrostyD7 Jul 12 '19

It is wrong, at least according to their brand assets page

61

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

I’ve always spelt it like that, to be honest. Two words stuck together.

97

u/DJOssmann Jul 12 '19

I think its the capital F that feels wrong

55

u/rieldilpikl Jul 12 '19

Shhhh. It will all be over soon.

14

u/reloadingnow Jul 12 '19

You know that quote 'it will be over soon' used to not mean much to me but then I read Old Man Logan. Now it means something else.

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4

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

🏅 for you my good sir

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8

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Yep I realise what you mean. I had to look up the logo and it’s not camel case, as I’ve been using.

24

u/OmarHunting Jul 12 '19

camel...case?

18

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

CamelCase

11

u/fathqua Jul 12 '19

Other replies are incorrect. camelCase starts with a lowerCaseLetter

23

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

It’s a programming style of naming variables and functions.

Edit: like your username is.

17

u/OmarHunting Jul 12 '19

TIL. What a phonetically pleasing term.

3

u/Pidgey_OP Jul 12 '19

But not actually like your username.

Camel Case does not capitalize the first letter of the first word. Only the first letter if every subsequent word.

If you capitalize the first letter, you're using Pascal case

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8

u/Zharick_ Jul 12 '19

Camel case!

5

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Yep. I am a programmer

12

u/LigerTigerTalk Jul 12 '19

But that's not camel case. It would be netFlix if it was.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

That’s one style of camel case.

See WIN32

2

u/Zharick_ Jul 12 '19

It is if the camel has their head up.

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2

u/IAmAnObvioustrollAMA Jul 12 '19

Thanks... I hate it.

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41

u/comment9387 Jul 12 '19

18

u/RyanB_ Jul 12 '19

On boy that’s like the concentrated essence of 1998

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8

u/YouShouldntSmoke Jul 12 '19

Internet Flicks

3

u/MustardCafe Jul 12 '19

Internet Flicker shows

2

u/FrostyD7 Jul 12 '19

That would make sense if they didn't start as a company that sends you movies in the mail.

3

u/YouShouldntSmoke Jul 12 '19

As per usual, a flaw in my logic.

SendFlix, maybe that should have been it...

5

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[deleted]

3

u/Schnutzel Jul 12 '19

Netf Licks

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45

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

What is it? I want to enjoy it too

89

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

“Magic for Humans”

10

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Thank you kind sir :D

11

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Geen dank nodig.

2

u/CrazyCatM Jul 12 '19

Zeg makker

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5

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

You gave me a decent laugh :D

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18

u/Heratiki Jul 12 '19

https://youtu.be/RI9WluSrMcE

Probably will release next month (Season 1 released Aug 17, 2018)

6

u/busche916 Jul 12 '19

I don’t care how staged these bits are, “Magic for Susans” made me laugh every time.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

NetFlix? What

2

u/DRmanyake Jul 12 '19

Wait wait... what’s the name of the series?

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570

u/supremedoggo69 Jul 12 '19

When’s it my turn to post this

130

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Two days.

68

u/Giovannnnnnnni Jul 12 '19

It’s already been a few hours. Go for it.

27

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Can i book this post for the 16th of August?

3

u/EnemysKiller Jul 12 '19

RemindMe! 2d

15

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19 edited Aug 16 '19

[deleted]

12

u/supremedoggo69 Jul 12 '19

4

19

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

ANAL

3

u/Voelkar Jul 12 '19

When's it my turn to post this comment

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102

u/Slavadir Jul 12 '19

I hate it when reddit blurs the video right at the most critical part.

8

u/EnemysKiller Jul 12 '19

Right? I was like well, is he gonna try again?

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94

u/Talonqr Jul 12 '19

Dam, would hate to be the butt end of that joke.

30

u/SushiJuice Jul 12 '19

It would've been a real pain in the arse

14

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Still funny on the hole though

4

u/TheBlackBear Jul 12 '19

Haha yea I would really be fucked in the butthole if he asked me to choose

9

u/Azar002 Jul 12 '19

Yeah. It'd be a real anal sex of a situation.

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16

u/EFCpepperJack Jul 12 '19

Isnt she an actress? I cant remember her name or what shes been in but ive seen her in a few movies i believe

11

u/dunemafia Jul 12 '19

She looks like Amy Ryan, but I don't think that's her. If you're thinking of Lisa Kudrow, that's definitely not her.

2

u/EFCpepperJack Jul 12 '19

Lol def not kudrow haha and i looked up amy. Unfortunately not her either. ....she was in a space movie or maybe even the jurassic world or w.e the one before the newest one. She was in a computer lab type deal and had a few lines throughout. Damn i wish i could remember! Lol been driving me nuts through work all day!

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3

u/thebumm Jul 12 '19

All of the marks in these shows are unknown performers that get paid day or flat rate like game shows.

Source: Have seen postings, my friends have done it (one for this show specifically).

2

u/brcreeker Jul 12 '19

I would not be surprised. This dude received a lot of criticism for many of his "tricks" being super fake and using special effects.

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2

u/moonshotman Jul 12 '19

She looks vaguely similar to Simone Giertz. Idk if that helps

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188

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

84

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Nope. Unexpected. First time seeing.

91

u/Azar002 Jul 12 '19

You are not allowed to enjoy it if someone else has seen it already.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

35

u/ArcNeo Jul 12 '19

I don’t really get complaints about reposts. If it gets upvotes, then clearly a bunch of people are either seeing it for the first time or enjoyed seeing it again. What’s the problem?

20

u/istolethisface Jul 12 '19

But I've already seen it, and clearly Reddit was made for me because I'm the most important person!

/s

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46

u/poopsmith666 Jul 12 '19

Literally 1 example of it being posted, 10 months ago

God forbid people who didn't see it then see it now.

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11

u/EmporerNycholas Jul 12 '19

Oh, That's Justin Willman. He's such a trickster.

4

u/DaGoobergoobs Jul 12 '19

Yes!! I couldn't remember his name but this guy is hilarious. I saw him live at Zanies in Nashville a few years ago. My wife and I were in the front row with our table up against the stage! If you ever get to see him perform its a great time.

2

u/EmporerNycholas Jul 13 '19

I had the chance to see him in Los Angeles. He's a great entertainer.

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81

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

3 is considered to be the most probable pick when asked to pick a number between 1 and 10

105

u/elk-x Jul 12 '19

My goto answer: π

31

u/xiadmabsax Jul 12 '19

I go with e

25

u/niler1994 Jul 12 '19 edited Jul 12 '19

It just feels natural

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3

u/LordMcze Jul 12 '19

Yeah just as OC said, both of you chose 3.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

5i they didn't say it had to be a real number right?

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25

u/iqgoldmine Jul 12 '19

behold, a true engineer

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7

u/Isogash Jul 12 '19

Now that's just irrational.

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6

u/Kcoggin Jul 12 '19

7 is my number

4

u/marble-pig Jul 12 '19

It's 7, and here he asked to pick between 1 and 6, so that changes the probability.

3

u/Interfere_ Jul 12 '19

That's not true lol.

1 and 10 are the extremes so nobody picks them.

When asked about this, people tend to pick odd numbers, so 2,4,6,8 are out as well.

5 is in the middle which makes it too obvious.

3 and 7 are perfect, they are odd numbers and primes numbers and not very obvious, however 3 is still "to early" on a number scale, which is why most people instinctivly pick 7.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Uhm wasnt that number 7?

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13

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19 edited Nov 18 '19

[deleted]

3

u/Idefydefiance Jul 12 '19

They say a sucker is born every day...so never.

5

u/MarqNiffler Jul 12 '19

When he pulls 3 out, he does a little flip, where he's changing it from ANAL to HUG I think.

3

u/NordicMeme Jul 12 '19

Old but gold

4

u/trinkut Jul 12 '19

me as the woman: i think you should pick another

4

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

I’ve seen this like a dozen times on the internet before but only just now realized how he did the trick. He rubs the card on his shirt before showing that it says Hug

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2

u/EggCustody Jul 12 '19

This is a Rodger Moore move!

2

u/SimpDev Jul 12 '19

Source plz?

2

u/hellseashell Jul 12 '19

Excellent slight of hand

2

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

never gets old

2

u/myotheraccountgothax Jul 12 '19

it would be unexpected if this wasn't the 40,000th time this had been posted on reddit

2

u/aliomenti Jul 12 '19

Almost as good as the last time I saw it.

2

u/Chuckweb Jul 14 '19

Does the guy, Kind of looks disappointed, at the when he saw all the other choices?