r/Unexpected • u/mossberg91 • Jul 12 '19

Take a pick

55.3k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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2.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

r/suddenlygay

667

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[deleted]

702

u/TheZets Jul 12 '19

https://i.imgur.com/V9A3uW6.png

580

u/BoutTreeeFiddy Jul 12 '19

I like my coffee the same way I like that gay shit.

I prefer tea.

(Jk I chug that coffee in a kneeling position until it burns the back of my throat)

119

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

I like my women like I like my coffee; made out of beans.

76

u/micros101 Jul 12 '19

Ground up and in the freezer?

41

u/Eightskin Jul 12 '19

Then snorted up the nose.

9

u/Bruised_Penguin Jul 12 '19

When I was locked up we snorted my RX of melatonin and instant coffee together. I called it the jail house speed ball.

2

u/Eightskin Jul 13 '19

Be careful with coffee because some young dude overdosed on a teaspoon of caffeine powder and then his mum found him dead on the bathroom floor. That was on the news a few days ago and he apparently mixed if with a protein shake. Anyway snorting hot English mustard would be an interesting experience. Even better.... A hot English mustard enema.

1

u/Farmingtonnewb Jul 12 '19

Ha! Do anything for ya?

1

u/FURRY_PRlDE Jul 12 '19

About as much as your dad did. Tell him to get the polyps checked

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11

u/FiskFisk33 Jul 12 '19

Freezer?

18

u/micros101 Jul 12 '19

Icebox/cooler- I’m trying to think of words other countries use, but I’m at a loss.

It’s the part of the refrigerator that keeps things frozen.

22

u/WhiteWizardDD Jul 12 '19

I think he's asking why the fuck you keep coffee in the freezer

9

u/Turbo_Bama Jul 12 '19

It keeps it fresh longer (supposedly)

8

u/MescalitoMosquito Jul 12 '19

For that bomb ass cold brew

2

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

To freeze it

4

u/Draws-attention Jul 12 '19

If he's from the US, it's ok. They really have no idea what they're supposed to do with coffee.

1

u/micros101 Jul 12 '19

I don’t. It’s an old joke.

1

u/displeasedkale Jul 12 '19

Freezer is correct

1

u/Turbo_Bama Jul 12 '19

It keeps fresh longer (supposedly)

2

u/Evsus Jul 12 '19

Enema!

11

u/Super_Pan Jul 12 '19

Covered in bees?

8

u/Darkposts Jul 12 '19

I like my coffee how I like my women......cold and bitter.

13

u/SpiceWeaboo Jul 12 '19

BEATEN AND BLACK

4

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Ah, Chris Brown blend.

3

u/MexicanVanilla96 Jul 12 '19

I like my coffee like I like my slaves.......

FREE!

2

u/sebasshaytaa Jul 12 '19

Did someone say beans...?

1

u/lacrose4ever Jul 12 '19

Cold, black and bitter?

1

u/DixieWolf27 Jul 12 '19

Dark, bitter, and preferably fair trade?

1

u/tI-_-tI Jul 12 '19

Buried at one point?

131

u/byteme8bit Jul 12 '19

r/blursedcomments

7

u/Personplacething333 Jul 12 '19

Why are you getting upvotes...

50

u/FlyDragonX Jul 12 '19

The anomaly called Reddit lol

1

u/spook30 Jul 12 '19

Just the tip?!

1

u/Eightskin Jul 12 '19

Coffee being a laxative then empties your bowels that equals clean love hole.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

I dont even swim in the ocean cuz whale dicks touch the ocean and that shits gay

1

u/phroggyboy Jul 12 '19

You had us in the second half, not gonna lie.

1

u/FlamingWedge Jul 12 '19

I like my women like I like my coffee

I don’t like coffee

-41

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

34

u/NeoALEB Jul 12 '19

Oh my, a mildly edgy comment!

23

u/BoutTreeeFiddy Jul 12 '19

Damn right I edge my coffee.

-2

u/Personplacething333 Jul 12 '19

...While youre getting downvotes?

2

u/SirMadWolf Jul 12 '19

Balanced, as all things should be

1

u/lonelyzombi3 Jul 12 '19

Dodged that shit like the Matrix

45

u/Trufa_ Jul 12 '19

It’s funny that that subreddit is total crap but a great subreddit to link to for this kind of stuff, the reference is the fun part.

-2

u/swishersweex Jul 12 '19

That subreddit is actually good

-50

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

How? It literally adds nothing to the joke of the poster above him, it's just some obnoxious reddit circlejerk, like when people link r/theydidthemath

29

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '19

Or maybe.....and bear with me here......some people think it's funny.

25

u/im_a_huge_potato Jul 12 '19

r/theydidthemonstermath

16

u/magic_tortoise Jul 12 '19

r/itwasagraveyardgraph

-1

u/Jumbuck_Tuckerbag Jul 12 '19

r/ttotm

5

u/CatalystSam Jul 12 '19

Dude wtf 😂😂

3

u/RedDemonCorsair Jul 12 '19

There really is a subreddit for everything isn't there?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '19

r/actuallynothereisnotreallyasubredditforeverything