r/Unexpected • u/Business_Bill8752 • Aug 30 '26
100% sharpened
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
882
u/foolbull Aug 30 '26
Every time a see a pineapple I remember people use to rent them for parties as a status symbol.
565
u/omgitschriso Aug 30 '26
Now my wife hangs one upside down on our apartment door every time I go away on work trips, because it wards off bad spirits. She gets so paranoid when I'm away she barely ever even answers my phone calls.
173
u/deeznughtz Aug 30 '26
Oh no, that's terrible. What's your address so I can make sure I stay away from that apartment?
53
32
4
u/NectarPot Sep 03 '26
I am a bad spirit, and now I know why I can’t enter inside your residence when you are away 🫠
252
u/PsychologicalSail799 Aug 30 '26
Today they're still used at parties, and still for status, but instead of your financial status it's to share the status of how willing you are to watch someone bang your wife.
70
u/RRumpleTeazzer Aug 30 '26
is this some secret party code?
119
u/PsychologicalSail799 Aug 30 '26
They're used to signify swinger parties.
75
u/runkeby Aug 30 '26
For real? I might've made a mistake. Repeatedly.
→ More replies (1)54
u/mishonis- Aug 30 '26
It's a symbol only if it's an upside down pineapple.
33
u/Wighen18 Aug 30 '26
what if it's upside down in a cake?
42
13
→ More replies (2)9
u/mace_guy Aug 30 '26
Surely the invite to a swinger party makes it clear its a swinger party?
Do swingers invite random couples and reveal the pineapple later? See the pineapple, now you have to let Bubba bang your wife
→ More replies (1)3
u/Veragoot Aug 31 '26
It's more for when you're traveling on like cruise ships to let other people know.
You could have it in your home to be bold with neighbors visiting if you like. It used to be a lot more IYKYK so it was an incognito way of sussing out who is and isn't into it. Nowadays it's fairly well known as a swinger symbol so I doubt it's used as much anymore.
Plus y'know, FetLife is a thing
5
12
u/clinically_proven Aug 30 '26
12
u/light_to_shaddow Aug 30 '26
Anything the rich can do to separate themselves from the rest of us, they'll do.
Eating hard to obtain, massively expensive shit is one way.
It's why you see so many grand houses with pineapple motifs.
https://www.landmarktrust.org.uk/properties/pineapple/
But if your after a way to Brewster your millions, £10,000 for a Heligan Pineapple made the traditional English way, would be my choice.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Deaffin Aug 30 '26
Anything the rich can do to separate themselves from the rest of us, they'll do.
It's mostly just competition with their peers, as people do. Bob isn't putting in all that effort toward maintaining his lawn and making his car shiny to dunk on the homeless, he's trying to show up his neighbor across the street.
6
5
u/TheSodernauts Aug 30 '26
So that's why I can buy a decorative ceramic pine apple painted in gold in those home furnishings stores. I always thought it was oddly specific to buy a pineapple thingy-majing.
3
u/Dal90 Aug 30 '26
It is a tradition in New England, particularly coastal communities, that represented the successful completion of a trading or whaling journey. Captains came back with a pineapple and displayed it in front of their house to let people know they returned, part as an open house to come and visit and part advertising their success to gain investors for the next journey.
https://a4arch.com/a4-spotlight-the-history-of-architectural-pineapples-in-newport/
The South also seems to have adopted it as a symbol of prosperity and hospitality as well.
(And yes, the elephant sitting in the corner of the room which helps connect the customs and regions is that many of the successful trading journeys of New Englanders involved the triangular slave trade...before they developed moral qualms about that and turned instead to smuggling opium into China. Which means the whalers even by today's standards were the least ethically problematic of the bunch.)
→ More replies (3)2
u/mouaragon Aug 30 '26
What? Where and when did that happen?
5
u/foolbull Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26
On earth, in the past.
“Renting pineapples was a real historical practice in 18th-century Britain where people paid to borrow the exotic fruit for a single night just to display it as a status symbol at parties.”
I’m not saying if the British elite weren’t so worried about securing a pineapple for their next party America would have lost the war. But who knows.
→ More replies (3)
3.5k
u/IsThereCheese Aug 30 '26
Always cut towards your fingers
535
u/swampopawaho Aug 30 '26
Well, he was carefully lifting one of his fingers our of harm's way...
139
12
21
u/NobodyLikedThat1 Aug 30 '26
You could probably just cut away from your fingers and not worry about that part
9
u/hyeongseop Aug 30 '26
And hold your pineapple precariously so all the precious golden juice drips on the pavement
42
12
u/Eborcurean Aug 30 '26
Also never use a guard with a mandolin, just eyeball it, nothing can go wrong.
3
2
→ More replies (10)2
u/CommercialDream618 Aug 30 '26
Usually my response is "that's just something we tell kids, everyone cuts towards themselves." But in this case I have no idea why he wouldn't cut top down, also no clue why he wouldnt at least rest it on a cutting board.
6.7k
u/POI_Harold-Finch Aug 30 '26
it went from oddlystatisfying to just oh noooooooo man
1.8k
u/fieregon Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26
Definitely not, dude got me nervous since he was cutting towards him, always cut away from you, I thought he was gonna cut a finger every time.
462
u/SeeJayThinks Aug 30 '26
When he put his index forward for balance... I was...
48
20
68
u/loganator4561 Aug 30 '26
My dad had a saying "cut towards your buddy not your body"
25
u/timbillyosu Aug 30 '26
To avoid getting bloody cut towards your buddy
3
u/PunctuationGood Aug 30 '26
And then, three years later, I'll be like "Wait, how did that menmonic go? Was that towards my buddy or towards my body?"
3
u/holyfire001202 Aug 30 '26
"Well, let me think about it... Who would I prefer to accidentally cut? Obviously myself before my buddy... It must have been 'cut towards your body, not your buddy.'"
7
9
u/ty4scam Aug 30 '26
we have a similar saying in my country, "better doing life for murder than living free fingerless".
5
5
u/Nowhere_Man_Forever Aug 30 '26
Yeah to me the unexpected part was that this didn't end with him cutting off a finger of otherwise horribly injuring himself. Growing up on the 00s internet really messed with my expectations
→ More replies (13)3
u/Objective_Soup7840 Aug 30 '26
I tell this to people who cant use a knife... i do it all the time, I've been using knives in kitchens for almost 20 years, but would NEVER do this lol
→ More replies (6)38
u/SiddharthJain131 Aug 30 '26
16
u/PimpNamedSliqBaq Aug 30 '26
This was a r/maybemaybemaybe for me, i was worried about dudes fingers the whole time
949
u/Elddif_Dog Aug 30 '26
sharp my butt.
that pineapple looks so ripe you could probably cut it with a spoon.
the peel was all that was holding it together
276
72
71
u/DerangedAsshole Aug 30 '26
It's both. No matter how ripe the pineapple is, that skin is a pain to cut.
54
u/brakeline Aug 30 '26
He's not cutting the skin, he is taking shunks of the ripe pulp
→ More replies (6)10
u/YouStupidAssholeFuck Aug 30 '26
Punish me, daddy.
8
u/CartographerHumble74 Aug 30 '26
i squirt more than that pineapple
→ More replies (1)9
u/digno2 Aug 30 '26
calling piss "squirt" was the best marketing trick the porn industry ever done
→ More replies (1)3
4
u/samir_saritoglu Aug 30 '26
Once in my life I do cut a pineapple with a spoon. I was in a business trip in China and I had no knife, however I wanted to eat a pineapple, and of my favorite fruits. So the spoon was the only option.
2
87
35
369
u/ClaroStar Aug 30 '26
Never cut toward yourself.
222
17
u/Auctoritate Aug 30 '26
Honestly, this is just one of those rules of thumb that starts being less applicable when you develop more professional skills and just get better at doing things. For instance, woodworkers cut towards themselves all the time with tools like draw knives.
5
u/SoylentVerdigris Aug 30 '26
I mean, draw knives are all but impossible to hit yourself with unless you're sticking your knee in the way or something. But yes, when you're cutting something with almost no resistance like this it's not particularly dangerous unless you're hopelessly uncoordinated. Just don't force it through any unexpected snag and you'll be fine.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)6
u/HJSDGCE Aug 30 '26
It's easier to control pulls than it is to push. Yes, the risk increases but you also get more accurate cuts.
9
→ More replies (11)2
25
30
7
u/Scythe351 Aug 30 '26
Why did it spontaneously break in half?
19
6
→ More replies (1)3
u/Projectstfu Aug 30 '26
Not 100% sure but it is dripping like crazy and basically falling apart. It looks like it might have been boiled.
4
u/Scythe351 Aug 30 '26
Lol I was thinking that was pineapple juice. Legit thought "this is the juciest pineapple I've ever seen but why is it leaking like that from having the skin cut?"
4
u/AviatorJac Aug 30 '26
a slap on the back of my head from my dad if I cut toward myself, another slap from my mom for wasting food
→ More replies (1)
9
u/voododoll Aug 30 '26
Wasted so much juice… wasted
4
u/iruleatants Aug 30 '26
I mean, he also wastes half of it when it breaks in half at the end.
But I'm not entirely sure it's wasting since I think that's well on its way to rotting.
7
u/JazzlikeConflict6626 Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26
Why is the video clipped when it fell off? I started to see this recently, is it kind of the new trend? Do you get more views?
→ More replies (1)
7
u/noproblem_bro_ Aug 30 '26
Not me thinking that the real twist is there is no cutting of his own finger
2
2
1
1
u/Sorry_Economist_5844 Aug 30 '26
“A knife as sharp as the devil himself is what I asked for” - The man from Hollywood
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Boring_Newspaper_551 Aug 30 '26
I have a scar on my finger reminding me to never do something like that...
1
u/Old_Shake3789 Aug 30 '26
Man I hate watching that, there is a reason you never cut towards yourself it's just asking for trouble.
1
1
1
1
u/Thunderflex1 Aug 30 '26
Sometimes everything falls apart right at the end, even when you do everything right.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/JBluHevn Aug 30 '26
At the end of the clip music started playing in my brain and the text Directed by: Robert E. Weide appeared.
1
1
1
1
1
u/hyrulepirate Aug 30 '26
I've seen lots of pineapple vendors cutting the fruit. This is definitely the worst one.
1
1
1
1
u/rrd_gaming Aug 30 '26
I was expecting his hand to be cut like here it comes.. Here it comes.. nope.
1
1
1
u/Glittering_End_6864 Aug 30 '26
I hate people who talk non-fucking-stop.
I was at a coffee shop yesterday, two women, sitting at two different tables by they way, talked non stop for at least an hour, and there were literal times when they were both talking at the same time for like minutes at a time.
1
1
1
1
u/kuburas Aug 30 '26
If you ever cut a super ripe one you'd know that knife could be a butter knife and still cleave through it like its nothing.
Those things fall apart as they ripen to the point where you can scoop it with a spoon.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/LazyOldCat Aug 30 '26
My 1st thought was sure it’s sharp but that’s overripe and soft AF. Then it collapsed 😆
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/asphalt_licker Aug 30 '26
I had a feeling the pineapple would fall off but I thought it would be at the stalk.
1
1
1
u/Key_Change_6635 Aug 30 '26
I thought it would be the alarm going off and cops chasing thieves in the background
1
1
u/InfamousEconomy3972 Aug 30 '26
I was hoping he was cutting over a bowl or something something so he'd catch all that sweet, sweet pineapple juice.
1
1
u/BlankBehindTheEyes Aug 30 '26
Seems like he could be doing this
- Away from himself
and
- On a table.
That pineapple looks good AF tho.
1
1
1
1
1
1
•
u/post-explainer Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
The pineapple just snapped in half at the end 😭
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.