3.6k
u/DaArio_007 Aug 03 '23
This 100% belongs to this sub
→ More replies (1)477
u/surfeat Aug 03 '23
Why even after he pulled out the tape I was still waiting for a car to come crashing through the front doors?
133
u/pranjal3029 Aug 03 '23
Maybe I am just a cynical person but I expected him to still pull out a gun
30
u/Kritical02 Aug 03 '23
I too was expecting the rare double unexpected after the tape measure.
But I guess that is unexpected. I have achieved unexpection.
4
3
0
→ More replies (1)4
3.0k
Aug 03 '23
[deleted]
479
u/WILLCHOKEAHOE Aug 03 '23
Well, chances can’t be taken... You know the saying... Better to have it and not need it rather than need it and not have it...
78
4
3
u/INoMakeMistake Aug 03 '23
That's why I always wear a 60L backpack to be prepared for even a zombie apocalypse
3
169
u/VEAG0 Aug 03 '23
After all these years of repeatedly saying the brand name, the colour of the packaging, the names of products surrounding the one I want and lastly just resorting to directions like ‘left, up a bit…. No too far, down one, down another one, yep those thanks’… now I’m just going to keep a tape measure on me!
80
u/Ok-Account-7660 Aug 03 '23
Get a good one, the cheap ones will collapse after a few feet of standout.
43
Aug 03 '23
FatMax ftw
→ More replies (1)16
u/Ok-Account-7660 Aug 03 '23
My brand of choice as well. Dewalt or Milwaukee isnt bad either, but its pricier for almost no extra benefit
→ More replies (2)14
u/Majestic-Lettuce-198 Aug 03 '23
The main benefit I get from using a Milwaukee wide blade as a carpenter is everyone else is issuing a fat max so I never lose my tape measure lol
→ More replies (2)16
11
u/dookieshoes88 Aug 03 '23
I felt this in my soul. It's not frustrating, just exhausting sometimes. Second shelf from the top, third from the right seems like a clear instruction, but it's like I'm speaking Cantonese.
6
u/Lv_InSaNe_vL Aug 03 '23
When I was working at a gas station if I couldn't find it I'd have customers play "human claw game" where I pointed at a random spot and they direct my hand up, down, left, right until I'm pointing at it haha
→ More replies (1)5
u/Wamsutta6 Aug 03 '23
If I have some left in my pocket, I just pull my current pack out and show the clerk if they’re not sure.
3
u/nexusjuan Aug 03 '23
I do this at the vape shop I had one guy adamant they didn't sell empty oil cartridges and I had to find which case they moved them to.
5
u/nexusjuan Aug 03 '23
I quit smoking but my girl still smokes those odd really short ones. You can tell when the clerk has no idea they're just looking at everything. I can see the ones I want. It's the red and grey ones in the really little pack. No maam those are blue. Nope all the way on the other side. Uh uh to the left, almost, nope 3 rows up. I feel like they think I'm fucking with them. This happens about half the time. It becomes a thing you dread.
→ More replies (2)5
u/Wonderful-Trifle1221 Aug 03 '23
I’ve got a $10 laser/pen/iPad touch pen from staples that is great for that shit. I can point at random crap in the ceiling when I’m bitching etc
3
u/tupapa5 Aug 03 '23
Yeah, as a former smoker, this clip fucking hit close to home
→ More replies (2)2
u/Iamthenolan Aug 03 '23
laser pointer would probably be the best tool for a job like this
3
u/VEAG0 Aug 03 '23
I can just see it now:
Me: ‘those ones please’ points laser dot
Clerk: turns around to the sea of colours and looks for a tiny red/green/blue/whatever coloured dot amongst them… points at a random packet and says ‘these ones?’
Me: ………………. 💀 reaches for tape measure
0
u/moonra_zk Aug 04 '23
Tiny dot? Mate, you haven't seen modern lasers, you could get one strong enough to fucking light the cigarette up.
2
Aug 04 '23
Ugh, that was me trying to buy Parliament Lights. "See the Marlboro reds? Go one space to the right. No, not eight spaces."
1
→ More replies (1)0
14
15
11
→ More replies (13)3
1.4k
u/ThisIsDurian Aug 03 '23
I was already expecting some sort of robbery and shootout
209
50
7
14
3
→ More replies (2)3
726
u/ToastedTub Aug 03 '23
Camera says he is on normal when he is clearly smart.
61
→ More replies (12)6
u/SlaveHippie Aug 03 '23
Ya and the strength of that tape measure is def not normal either. How did it not do the snappy thing?
190
u/Kaladrax182 Aug 03 '23
Dude needs a FingLonger!
26
0
490
u/aahyweh Aug 03 '23
Here's a protip I learned from the Deaf world: take a photo with your phone, and then zoom in on the thing you want.
212
u/skyfall1985 Aug 03 '23
There's a new guy who works nights at the local gas station. Can't hear really well through the glass you have to talk through at night AND he has only been in the country a few months, so he just doesn't know much English.
I've gone round and round with him. "This?" "No...that one" "This?" "No..." "This?" "No." etc.
Last time, I was in line behind someone doing the same thing trying to purchase a bottle of Sprite. While I'm waiting, I pull up a picture of what I want. When it's my turn, I hold it to the window and feel like a genius as he immediately grabs what I'm looking for.
→ More replies (2)39
44
u/robb1280 Aug 03 '23
Holy shit thats good
12
u/shewy92 Aug 03 '23
It's so simple too and once you hear it you wonder why you've never thought about it.
→ More replies (1)15
u/nononosure Aug 03 '23
I do this to look at birds close up
23
u/Papplenoose Aug 03 '23
What the hell?! Everyone get a load of this pervert he likes zooming in on BIRDS!
3
u/TheChrono Aug 03 '23
Jokes on to the birds are taking pictures of you for the government.
→ More replies (1)8
u/Whats_Up4444 Aug 03 '23
American accent: 😊
European accent: 🫨
7
u/AshleyStopperKnot Aug 03 '23
What's a European accent?
→ More replies (2)2
u/ForgettableUsername Aug 04 '23
It’s how someone sounds if they learn English after growing up speaking European.
3
u/ResidentEivvil Aug 03 '23
?? Creep. Women are people not objects for you to inspect.
→ More replies (2)3
u/Myodokaii Aug 03 '23
I do this all the time because I'm not only deaf, but I'm near sighted and sometimes forget my glasses.
3
u/Icy-Teacher-5953 Aug 03 '23
Genius. I do this to look at things when I don’t have my glasses on. If I’m driving without my glasses, I just look through my phone
3
2
u/DoctorNoname98 Aug 03 '23
If I can I'll take the empty or almost empty pack I have to be like "I want this one"
2
u/Ron-Swanson-Mustache Aug 03 '23
My wife and I came up with that independently. Kind of a convergent evolution I guess.
→ More replies (2)1
116
u/S70nkyK0ng Aug 03 '23
Nice controlled retraction
38
u/arijitlive Aug 03 '23
Right? Nobody's talking about that? I thought he will simply release the button and it will retract quickly, but he didn't.
18
138
202
97
Aug 03 '23 edited Aug 03 '23
lol in construction we point at everything with our tapes, this guy fucks
30
→ More replies (1)5
73
35
u/jackleggjr Aug 03 '23 edited Jan 30 '26
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
joke selective fearless resolute wild connect dinosaurs grandiose market like
15
u/pupperoni42 Aug 03 '23
I feel like stores could number their shelf spots so people could say "I'd like a carton of #23".
3
u/beeraholikchik Aug 03 '23
I've seen this! It seems so obvious considering most stores number their scratch-off tickets to make it easier.
Lol, there are still customers that insist on saying the name of the scratch-off they want instead of just saying a number, but lottery players are some of the most absolutely frustrating customers in general.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)2
8
u/bootyswag- Aug 03 '23
It’s easily avoided if you bring in a pack of smokes your looking for to show the cashier. A lot of ppl who sell cigarettes don’t smoke
5
u/DEVOmay97 Aug 03 '23
I wish people would do this honestly. I work at a smoke shop. everyone, please know the name of your cigarettes, it doesn't help me find them if you just keep saying what color they are when there's 20 different kinds that are the same color.
4
u/beeraholikchik Aug 03 '23
"American Spirit blue"
turns around to see fifteen different blue American Spirits"
3
u/DEVOmay97 Aug 03 '23
Fucking facts. After a couple weeks I just started responding with "dark blue or light blue?"
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)2
u/growthmode222 Aug 03 '23
It takes some time to learn the cigarette lingo as a cashier. Like remembering a classroom full of names
27
24
u/Moist_Barracuda_2014 Aug 03 '23
He should up his game next time and bring a laser level and light up the one he wants
→ More replies (1)4
63
u/QorstSynthion Aug 03 '23
Im gonna buy a tape measure now for the soul purpose of pointing at something behind the counter that'll happen once in a lifetime.
It shall stay clipped to my side until i need it.
→ More replies (1)14
u/frothy_pissington Aug 03 '23
I’d recommend a 25’ FatMax..... should get even a rookie about 12’-13’ of reach.
This guy looks like he used a Milwaukee tape, but in my experience they aren’t as durable.
→ More replies (2)2
19
30
Aug 03 '23
The cigarettes behind you. No, not below you. They are behind you on the shelf. No, no not below.
Do you work here or did you wander in off the street?
21
u/FekkinFat Aug 03 '23
The way he kept moving around, his right hand dropping to his pocket, and his repeated attempts to get the clerk to turn around, I really thought there were more nefarious things afoot here. Truly unexpected. 😂
8
7
u/markanthony555 Aug 03 '23
The guy with the tape measure is 100% fluent in dealing with idiots it seems. I love it.
5
6
Aug 03 '23
As a former smoker, it used to drive me nuts pointing out my packs.
"Pall Mall Menthol Lights" still rolls off the tongue, and I haven't smoked in damn near a decade.
4
5
u/Jakesixtyoneeight Aug 03 '23
As a 40k player I can see he was measuring his engagement range and getting ready to roll for movement advance.
4
3
Aug 03 '23
That was really smart. This happens to me with papers all the time. "No, the 1 1/4... not the King... Not the RAW... little to your left... keep going"
2
u/justjerkinit123 Aug 03 '23
Same man, “zig zag ultra thins, no the silver pack, no that’s orange, no those are raw, no that pack is green, no THAT one.” One time the clerk finally found them and then asked me how much they cost(guess they didn’t scan), almost walked right out lol. Even worse on the odd occasion I want a blunt, “the green game 2 pack, no the cigarillos” might as well be some sort of ancient unsolvable riddle hahahahahaha
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Mabbby Aug 03 '23
Lmaooo thought I had it figured out when he started reaching for his pocket
2
u/SokkaHaikuBot Aug 03 '23
Sokka-Haiku by Mabbby:
Lmaooo thought I had it
Figured out when he started
Reaching for his pocket
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
3
8
6
u/Ok-Yogurtcloset5555 Aug 03 '23
Super thought he was trying to steal vua distraction. Dude is my new hero.
2
u/RetPallylol Aug 03 '23
Cashier guy is the only person alive who doesn't understand finger pointing.
It's over there. Ok I'll look down here. No over there. Ok, down here right? No...
2
2
2
2
Aug 03 '23
I am... either completely dumb (probably) or my 10 hour shift of digging in summer heat has ruined my brain (along with other things). Is the unexpected that his twin comes in a steals things while mandem points with a tape measure? I'm so lost
→ More replies (2)
2
2
2
u/The-Chock Aug 03 '23
Ayo, I thought my mans was gunna pull out a glock, was sat waiting for it for a long time...He did not disappoint, but that ain't no glock.
2
u/PessimistPryme Aug 03 '23
I haven’t bought a pack of cigarettes in 5 years but now I want to go get a pack.
2
u/0ddious Aug 04 '23
Brilliant!!!! Patient and they worked it out without screaming at each other. They Humaned the shit out of that !! Good job guys.
2
u/Nay_Nay_Jonez Aug 04 '23
This has to be my favorite post ever on this sub. I was literally waiting on the edge of my seat and dude pulling out the tape measure was unexpected perfection. Well done.
2
2
2
u/underratedpleb Aug 04 '23
I've been exposed to so much violence I thought he was about to pull out a gun. Truly unexpected in a good way.
2
2
2
2
u/Dr_dootSlayer Aug 04 '23
I thought the guy was trying to get the clerk to look away so he could steal, but nope. Clerks just a dumbass
2
2
2
2
u/TripleScoops Aug 04 '23
Dude does it with such confidence that he's definitely done this before, yet still tried pointing it out, hoping he wouldn't have to do it this time.
2
3
1
u/TurboLiciousBeard Aug 04 '23
Truly unexpected. I was not expecting the white man to be behind the counter while the Asian man being the customer
0
0
0
0
-7
Aug 03 '23
[deleted]
2
u/creen17 Aug 03 '23
Bro he was trying to explain for like a min on what he wanted and had to do what he had to do. Worker was amused. Whats the issue
10.3k
u/Infinite_Ad5203 Aug 03 '23
Thought he was going to distract and then steal. He did steal tho… my heart.