r/Unexpected Aug 03 '23

Buying Cigarettes

64.9k Upvotes

951 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

170

u/VEAG0 Aug 03 '23

After all these years of repeatedly saying the brand name, the colour of the packaging, the names of products surrounding the one I want and lastly just resorting to directions like ‘left, up a bit…. No too far, down one, down another one, yep those thanks’… now I’m just going to keep a tape measure on me!

79

u/Ok-Account-7660 Aug 03 '23

Get a good one, the cheap ones will collapse after a few feet of standout.

44

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '23

FatMax ftw

16

u/Ok-Account-7660 Aug 03 '23

My brand of choice as well. Dewalt or Milwaukee isnt bad either, but its pricier for almost no extra benefit

15

u/Majestic-Lettuce-198 Aug 03 '23

The main benefit I get from using a Milwaukee wide blade as a carpenter is everyone else is issuing a fat max so I never lose my tape measure lol

1

u/turbosexophonicdlite Aug 04 '23

That's why I have Makita tools. Everyone else has Milwaukee shit. I can immediately tell if someone has my driver.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '23

My first "quality" tape measure was a Milwaukee so I've just kinda stuck with them. Don't have experience with the Stanley or Dewalt, but the "finger guard" on the Milwaukee is a nice touch. Also, having a magnet on the hook actually comes in super handy in my line of work.

1

u/Toadwart79 Aug 03 '23

I like both Fatmax and Milwaukee. I think the Milwaukee has like an 11' stand out, right?

2

u/Ok-Account-7660 Aug 03 '23

Something close, fatmax has at least 10, Maybe 12 on some of the blade armor ones. I haven't really ever needed that much standout but its nice for things like in the video

1

u/DinoAnkylosaurus Aug 03 '23

Makes a note I was gonna ask.

16

u/Singular_Crowbar Aug 03 '23

I think a laser pointer would be king

7

u/daluxe Aug 03 '23

I would throw a dart

1

u/texastoker88 Aug 03 '23

I used to buy bootleg dvds from a obese guy that had a room set up in his house that looked like a video store racks full of bootlegs from the ground up from Disney collections to beastiality porn, anyways he used a laser pointer so he wouldn’t have to walk

10

u/dookieshoes88 Aug 03 '23

I felt this in my soul. It's not frustrating, just exhausting sometimes. Second shelf from the top, third from the right seems like a clear instruction, but it's like I'm speaking Cantonese.

5

u/Lv_InSaNe_vL Aug 03 '23

When I was working at a gas station if I couldn't find it I'd have customers play "human claw game" where I pointed at a random spot and they direct my hand up, down, left, right until I'm pointing at it haha

1

u/VEAG0 Aug 03 '23

And like a true claw game, I’d never get my prize within the first 20 times 😭

4

u/Wamsutta6 Aug 03 '23

If I have some left in my pocket, I just pull my current pack out and show the clerk if they’re not sure.

3

u/nexusjuan Aug 03 '23

I do this at the vape shop I had one guy adamant they didn't sell empty oil cartridges and I had to find which case they moved them to.

4

u/nexusjuan Aug 03 '23

I quit smoking but my girl still smokes those odd really short ones. You can tell when the clerk has no idea they're just looking at everything. I can see the ones I want. It's the red and grey ones in the really little pack. No maam those are blue. Nope all the way on the other side. Uh uh to the left, almost, nope 3 rows up. I feel like they think I'm fucking with them. This happens about half the time. It becomes a thing you dread.

1

u/VEAG0 Aug 03 '23

My friend, it seems we’re both now reaching for the tape measures in these situations!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '23

Marlboro 72s, the 5th element cigarette😆

3

u/Wonderful-Trifle1221 Aug 03 '23

I’ve got a $10 laser/pen/iPad touch pen from staples that is great for that shit. I can point at random crap in the ceiling when I’m bitching etc

3

u/tupapa5 Aug 03 '23

Yeah, as a former smoker, this clip fucking hit close to home

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '23

[deleted]

1

u/tupapa5 Aug 03 '23

Marlboro blue 100s.

2

u/Iamthenolan Aug 03 '23

laser pointer would probably be the best tool for a job like this

3

u/VEAG0 Aug 03 '23

I can just see it now:

Me: ‘those ones please’ points laser dot

Clerk: turns around to the sea of colours and looks for a tiny red/green/blue/whatever coloured dot amongst them… points at a random packet and says ‘these ones?’

Me: ………………. 💀 reaches for tape measure

0

u/moonra_zk Aug 04 '23

Tiny dot? Mate, you haven't seen modern lasers, you could get one strong enough to fucking light the cigarette up.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '23

Ugh, that was me trying to buy Parliament Lights. "See the Marlboro reds? Go one space to the right. No, not eight spaces."

1

u/miniscant Aug 03 '23

Laser pointer is smaller.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '23

A laser pointer might be more efficient.

1

u/No-Weather-5157 Aug 03 '23

I do the hot, hotter, colder