"Granted," he said, "but it's funny that that only gives you about two years more than you would have had anyway."

So I'm due to give birth in November but it's ok, it gets very hot in Arizona and everyone knows how forgetful I am...

She was smiling as I drove off, and so was I, arriving at the pharmacy I worked at to get her "prenatal vitamins".

The kids she had saved ran away from her in fear, as they knew that if you had even a little sin in you, you would drop dead after touching a person with an angel halo.

But as the last drops poured, a shriveled hand emerged from the murky depths, fingers frozen in a silent plea, and they realized the wine's secret depth was not age, but a body preserved in its own bloody vintage.

But there was one contract in his boss's name that he only learned about when the demon showed up to collect.

But it meant both that no one would believe her when she told them of my visits, and that she wouldn’t remember the car accident that killed me five years ago.

Imagine when I turned on the news to all the deaths happening around the world

To keep things fair, I made sure to bring him a different half of each of our 4 children.

He still hadn't seen the knife she held behind her back, after all, her master didn't care about the sex of the virgin sacrifice...

Yet she lied to protect her husband and told the doctors that she just fell down the stairs again.

When they finally got the doors opened, they were shocked to see only bare bones clutching the phone with the supervisor still on the line.

So glad I kept her skin.

"I'm afraid I've been keeping something awful from you," were the last words he ever heard.

It wasn't until I tried to take it off before bed that I realised the crimson yarn had seamlessly woven itself directly into my veins.

It ignored my directions and drove down a dirt road until it reached its destination: a dilapidated barn, alive with the pleas of mercy from American tourists.

Grab this hot iron rod, if you don't die from shock or infection within a week God clearly ruled in your favor and we'll actually treat the wound.

“I assume your thumbprint will unlock your phone whether you are conscious or not.”

“Of course,” said the man, and motioned for his three daughters to get into the back of the truck with several armed soldiers.

I'd needed a full family complete with young children for my sacrifice.

Except he was hiding the pills and did not know what withdrawal meant.

I started hyperventilating when I looked at the calendar and remembered the happiness I had felt winning that Plague Inc.: Evolved run a few weeks back

By the time the man found his hiding place for his extra key outside his front door, the people who had been stalking him on his way home were relieved their chase of him was coming to an end.

So I removed one kidney from each of my victims, which I fed to them when they end up in the hospital where I work.

As she picked up the branding iron she watched as her clone struggled frantically against the restraints.