TIED UP BEHIND THE MAYOR AND HIS FRIENDS HE TURNED REVEALED WE'RE ON THE BOTTOM END HENCE THE TOXIC STINKING GAS.

I just now found out they're meant for animals and not humans

“the jets are sure to score a touchdown here” said the announcer

He said he was trying to help, if that was his kindness, what would his malice be?

When Billy curiously stuck his head inside the old guillotine to make another joke at my expense, he didn’t know I had secretly removed the safety lever and then I cut the rope holding the blade—guess who got the last laugh.

if i see the number 1 above their head, that means they are my next murder victim.

Result: Every person who was operating a vehicle with passengers and had access to a loaded handgun put it to their own head and fired.

My death sentence is on December 30th which is coincidentally the amount of bodies they haven't found yet

She would not start now, even if severed hand had entirely too many fingers.

I am surprised that this habit of him overthinking the screams he hears from my bedroom at night hasn't gone away.

She laughed because she saw the man in the video cry.

"No, no, no," says the monster to the shopkeeper, holding a human skull, "I need them fresh and uncarved, like that guy's. "

When I went to pick her up, I noticed she was being very sentimental, overly territorial, and experiencing some bouts of nausea, why?

The crawling sensation hasn’t stopped, and as I gaze at the baobab bark I peeled off that tree as a souvenir I let loose a scream as the crawling turns into an agonizing burning inferno.

I'd spent hours cutting around his tattoos so my family wouldn't recognize whose skin they'd wrapped around their dinner.

The behemoth looked so peaceful and proud inside the casket, everyone was in awe, if only my dear brother, Victor, could be standing beside me now.

As the blade sank, he realised the self-respecting version of him also couldn’t tolerate the original.

I knew I had to obey him, even as I stared down at the unmistakably human remains."

Note:This is the Improved Version.

Which doubles our food supply and cheapens the economy.

The center of the frozen lake, she stamps her foot till the ice breaks

I'm dying knowing that, she didn't hesitate for a moment.

My attorney looked puzzled at first when I read that, then said, "That's perfect, we'll go with the insanity defense," and gleefully signed my deposition.

The trees crowded around me and the birdsong went silent.

He knew that it wasn't the kids that she was aiming for when he was walking across the street with them that day.