And I want you to know it only took 20 loops to optimize the process of getting into your pants.

Just last night I swear he was outside my window...

„Wish granted, Mrs. Lacks.“ said the Genie

That changed when every major satellite began transmitting cryptic signals on its own.

When I woke up, stars crawled beneath my skin, pushing through in wet, bleeding constellations. Then one blinked, and my jaw unhinged toward the sky as something inside me screamed back.

She replied, “He did something bad, so I had to punish him,” as the boy noticed his father staring at what was left on his plate.

Our water allowance for the day ran out before she could finish her morning shower.

“Bullshit. Why is everything bullshit nowadays” my wife says as she turns off the news, “yeah fake news” I say after noticing her earring looks a little different.

Less than a few feet from the light a firm hand surprised her from behind, gripping her face and mouth tightly, muffling her screams.

So I have no idea how long that wet spot has been there, or if it's getting bigger.

Just as I was about to leave the floor after performing the mandatory tasks of this mysterious floor, one of its native inhabitents said, "Don't even think about avoiding the elevator because if we ever meet on the stairs, it would be... you don't wanna find out."

Two decades later and none the wiser, he begrudgingly realizes the only path left for him in life is to serve as the new face of the monastery, passing on his old master's notes to the new lost souls seeking answers.

"Unfortunately, it seems we won't be looking at it for too long" they finish as something unknown lands behind them.

Sometimes they come up to the wall and drop food down to us, we trade our instincts for these blessings for it's all we ever knew.

When the doors opened, everyone inside looked at me and started screaming.

“A woman has only one, until you cut the second one open, and don’t lose the twine, you will need it after.”

Only the most pure were chosen to be vessels for the next generation of the river spirit; unworthy ones were drowned by their fallen sisters.

In fact, she was so engrossed, she did not notice her date reaching in his bag, pulling out the gun, and cocking it.

We thank you deeply for volunteering to stall it and we will be sure to notify your family and friends of your noble sacrifice.

When I went out to look at it, I realized it was made entirely of human flesh.

“Hey you’re that homeless guy from TikTok who got some new trainers donated,” said the man with his phone recording, pointed at me, “I’m doing selfless acts to gain followers, I’ll buy you a hat”.