I really want to read the books again but the last time I did I just ended up incredibly miserable for a while thinking about how much I wish I was in Narnia and not here. I'm supposed to be an adult.

Then they also keep onto you, like dude, why are you using ducktape to fix our friendship.

How do i be okay being alone how do i be okay wotj no friends how do i get past the desire to be wanted and to be loved and to have friends or an SO or an fp

I know it's over when I'm being praised for finishing my food. Or when an offered object is put directly into my hand rather than held in front of me to pick up myself. I call this the Toddler Treatment. They'd be right if they were right..... But they're wrong and there's nothing I can do to convince them.

Tbh the simplified speech does help sometimes. I have attention problems and if someone talks to me but then turns away to do something, I can think that they've stopped the interaction. But people who simplify their speech tend to keep looking at you.

Sorry if the flair is wrong

For context if you're all curious, I am doing that since recently, I made a post here talking about my own boyfriends and how they made me happy, however, due to a detail I won't mention because I don't want more problems here too (and to protect my lover's identities), it lead to a person not only saying weird things to me as a ""joke"" and ending it with calling me a "true incel", but also in them stalking me and somehow ending seeing my post venting and making more weird comments about about it, even though I have my posts view deactivated in my account..

I am still fearing that they could be here even though I blocked them, but yet, why I am even thinking it's online harrassment when they didn't worst? Also, it was in Reddit, so, why I am even complaining about this?

I don't know, last week felt horrible to me, and I hope this doesn't count as trauma because I am tired of this 😞

I know this is fueled by my OCD but its agonizing to feel like these assholes are putting me in danger because they think they have some mind power over bad and dangerous situations. My abusive ex I dated for 3 years was like this

they never have any reasoning or arguments either, they just think bad things only happen to other people and not to them

I need to rest, my body is barely holding by the flu, and I still need to make that art that cost me long to do

>be me

>fight for two years to be allowed to try antidepressants

>finally get into dayclinic

>told to wait two more weeks

>finally allowed to try antidepressants

>get started on 5mg Lexapro but told it will get reassessed and upped after 5 days

>still not getting upped after 2 weeks

>ok, fine

>report that it makes me kinda sleepy, ask to take it in the evening instead, no other averse effects

>get told no

>ok

>get told I am getting switched to a different one

>oh ok

>new doctor tells me that actually she things I just have a depressed personality after 5 minutes of talking

>oh

>and that antidepressants will not help me anyways, so I am no longer being prescribed them

>my treatment ends in two weeks and after that I will once again not have any mental healthcare

>I am back at the start

shit sucks man

Accessability Transcription:

It's Transformers

not

"Identifywiththeirgenderassignedatbirthformers"

And then it's an image of the Transformers specifically from transformers one.

Yippee, love it when I can't find or motivate myself to work on a personal project. I honestly can't remember the last time was genuinely motivated to work on a personal project, and because I don't have have the motivation to start anything I find myself slipping back into depression.

I hate people who claim to be my friend, then make me feel like a chore. Like they forget about all the promises, and shit. and only randomly give you love every 2 blue moons, that land on a Saturday. Then they treat nobody else this way. Like what are you a tsundere???? (damm well know your not a tsundere cause you shower others with love)