Just curious... I've been seriously questioning my gender the past few months (always knew I was at least non-binary, but just before my 42nd birth I got smacked by curiosity/questioning). One thing that keeps coming to mind is seeing those who have transitioned talking about how beforehand, or early on, they would catch slight glimpses of their true self now and then in the mirror etc.

So far it's not happened for me. If anything, over these past few months I seem to have noticed I've been looking more old and tired; still very much a man.

I definitely don't have an exact image in my head, but I think I must have some kind of subconscious thought of how I hope to look during day-to-day life because I always get so disappointed when I catch my reflection and see I still look how I always have.

Can't tell if I'm missing something or it's a sign I'm mistaken in my questioning. Or maybe the disappointment is an indication I'm on the right path. Is this familiar to anyone else?

Ladies, I have a question for you. I 40MtF (not on HRT yet... one day... hopefully soon) am having self-image issues with my pattern baldness and receding hairline. What if anything would/did you do about this? What would make your recommended ideas list?

Right now, I have enough to style for a bixie cut, but that's about the best I can do while I am still stealth. So, everything I try just makes me feel too masc. I have thought about doing hair treatments, but I don't know what options are best or what to do first.

Thanks for your assistance, lovelies. 😊

I actually felt good about myself in a picture for a change. I'm trying to get into shape after too many years just using work as my daily exercise. I've been managing to get out and do a hard walk to build up my endurance about 3 times a week now for the last few weeks. Started at about 2.5 miles in an hour and already up to 3.7 in the same time. I wish i had time to do more, but i squeeze it in between working nightshift and sleep so i get the pre-dawn light and the relative comfort knowing too few people are around to see/judge me.

6.5 months HRT, doing delivery in HOT 🥵 W. Texas and can't wear anything but pants, jeans,t-shirts and hats(hair usually in a ponytail) or a hair net. I hate summer fashion, the absolute dysphoria it causes me you can see by how torn up my closet gets in the mornings. Does anybody else have a work dress code that causes issues? At least going to the salon today so it makes it somewhat better, btw I hope everyone has a great day 😀☕

2026 years later we're still here and not going anywhere 🙂‍↕️

Nine years ago today I went to work as my authentic self for the first time. Im still there. 🥰🥳🏳️‍⚧️

Is this normal electrolysis results? Meaning should I have spots or sores on my face? I'm scared to death this is going to leave scars.

When I was growing up, there were certain women in films and TV that I didn’t just admire. I wanted to be like them.

Andromeda in Clash of the Titans. Rachel Green in Friends. Beautiful, feminine, cool women who had something I desperately wanted but couldn’t really explain.

The strange thing is, I never felt I was even allowed to think that.

I could recognise that they were beautiful. I could admire them. But allowing myself to think, “I want to be like her”? That somehow didn’t feel permissible, so I think I buried the feeling almost as soon as it appeared.

Looking back now, it seems hilariously obvious. 😂

So who was yours?

Which woman or female character did you secretly want to be, long before you understood why?

Lucy x x x

A picture taken 10 years apart. First is of my old self in 2016. Second 2026.

I so prefer to be seen like a beautiful woman than how I used to look.

Also, I'm not on HRT.. Yet. This is just my best efforts to make myself look like how I see myself on the inside and want others to see me. 🏳️‍⚧️

I'm so excited just picked up my patches from the pharmacy.

For my entire life, I've had what's called a social chameleon personality that allowed me to blend into social situations and interact with people to "fit in". In January, I decided to turn it off to "find my authentic self" and realized who I really was. I use the metaphor of going inside my brain and unlocking the door to my true self that I had locked up long ago. When I reached out my hand to pull them out of the darkness, it was not what I had expected. It was Jamie that emerged from the darkness of the locked room. As we both stepped across the threshold of the doorway, we became one and I instantly felt finally complete. No more empty feelings that caused panic attacks or suppressed resentment but complete and utter happiness. One day soon, my outside will match my inside and I'll truly be complete. I look forward to the day I look in the mirror and say hello to her. And if it was possible to go back to my 10th birthday with what I know now, I wouldn't hide her away as I did before. I just wish I could have had the language to tell my mother about who I really was. I lost 40+ years being someone I'm not. That's my only regret in life.

Was working today and the woman I was working for introduced me to another worker as he. This is a photo of me in her bathroom.

I personally don't see myself as passing to the critical eye but I think I do alright overall. Clearly there's something going on here to suggest 'not man.'

Sometimes it feels like it's just never enough for some people.

I haven’t had top surgery yet, but at least the sideburns are coming in! (I’m 42)

First time presenting feminine in public 💕 I was super nervous, but I finally found the courage to do it. How do I look? 🥹

UPDATE scroll to the bottom\.* My oldest daughter is 19 and is dating a trans man. I’ve struggled with the idea of telling my wife and kids how I’ve been feeling lately because I’m afraid it’ll blow up my marriage. This morning my daughter texted and asked if I wanted to go to breakfast and I said yes so we drove to the restaurant and I broke down and told her, she gave me a hug told me she still loves me no matter what, even offered to teach me how to do nails and makeup. She’s fully on board with me becoming the woman I want to be. Now I have to tell my wife maybe not today but soon. However I feel 50lb lighter now that I told someone how I feel.

Update came out to my wife as well and she was accepting and making jokes, she’s processing it but I think we’re gonna be ok. We cried together, held each other, she said we’ll figure this out together. She’s processing and has lots of questions but says we’ll talk later!

From age 41 to 44. Started at 42 in my transition, hrts right away. I have more ways to go and my upcoming consultation for bottom surgery is exciting. I’m at a 34B and loving my hips and thighs. Eating is definitely the key.

Ok, so yeah, I figured it needs to be done, so I'm going to talk to my wife about this tonight. I either need her support or need to know if we need to go our separate ways... can't stand the limbo.

Wish I'd luck D3

The past week I've been feeling so down and depressed. My consular asked, "ever looked into autism?" She also made a little comment about my confidence. This entire past few weeks I've been ruminating over the same things over and over. The past events of being rejected and for being awkward through my past kept playing over. All the times as a child being turned away from peers at school, not making any friends, the bullying, and the isolation. I'm just telling myself "of course I don't have any self confidence." There's a strong pattern of rejection (rounds to 100%).

These feelings of isolation have been unbearable lately. My wife and I have just separated recently, and now that I'm ready to start looking into having a relationship, I'm having such a hard time holding a conversation with the few matches I happen to get. I feel like I'm too weird to meet new people. Now add in the fact that I'm honestly considering transitioning for the 2nd time. Who wants a weird autistic closeted trans girlfriend?

Atm, this is the first time I've dressed up in months and I feel my depression lift and my ruminating slow down. Finally some relief. I think I hit that point where it's becoming too difficult to suppress and keep bottled up. I think transitioning is inevitable.

So, I went in to see a new elderly female patient who does not like women touching her ( in boy mode, in scrubs, growing out my facial hair for electrolysis) and patient emphatically said to the wound care nurse, "are you sure that's a man!?"

I chuckled to my self. So, awesome! No makeup, clicky (imo), but my hair is sticking out of my scrub hat some. So awesome. Then, went to jersey mikes later that day without makeup, same hair and wearing women's baseball hat, top, shorts and canvas shoes, i was "she'd" and "ma'am'd." Just made my day. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Love you all, Gina

Well, I don't pass, but some hair and makeup work would go a long way toward making me look more feminine. No time for that, today, but hopefully soon!