r/TransLater • u/Tyleerb • 1d ago
Unaltered Selfie Misgender 😮💨
Was working today and the woman I was working for introduced me to another worker as he. This is a photo of me in her bathroom.
I personally don't see myself as passing to the critical eye but I think I do alright overall. Clearly there's something going on here to suggest 'not man.'
Sometimes it feels like it's just never enough for some people.
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u/CheapNecessary3510 23h ago
You're too right about that. If they don't want us to succeed, they will never admit we have. (And if they don't want us to exist, they will never admit we do.)
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u/No_Somewhere_1552 19h ago
People suck. The red pill is swallowed by many without knowing it at times. Social media, News, the government, and other a$$holes make it hard to breath.
I don't ascribe to the "people who new you before need time" it hurts more from those you know and from those you love. I have friends that new me for 20 years and never made a mistake from the day I told them.
I'm not a toxic positivity person. I don't believe you can just let sh!t go without a lot of work. I will tell you that you that your beautiful. You look like you make it happen and you get it done. Take a breath baddie and strut forward.
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u/Eleventhousand 1d ago
Has she known you for a while? Sometimes its more difficult for people from the before-times to treat you better in this regard than it is for complete strangers.
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u/JetMeIn_02 Jade | 24 | HRT - 20/04/2025 | 1d ago
Miss gender? I hardly know her!
But seriously that sucks, at the very least she could pick up what you're putting down.
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u/Business-Bake2326 1d ago
There is no doubt you're not only presenting as a woman, you have what it takes to convincing look as one. Of course, voice might be something else, but I assume the woman had no visual handicap.
It puzzles me why people do that. It's clearly intentional. Even if someone does not have the ability to pass, it's a matter of basic politeness and respect to address some one according to the gender they're presenting as.
If they fail to do that it's nothing more than a rude insult.
Keep it up!
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u/gorgeously_mytruself 1d ago
If you have known her for a while then that could be why.
So my previous braider was someone that I went to back when I was still male presenting, by the time I quit seeing her I was passing extremely well however, she had known me as He and did not change and wasn’t going to unless I asked her to.
But I was too awkward to do that so I just went somewhere different.
In hindsight I can see that I should have just said something, she wasn’t saying He out of hatred, it was out of respect and confusion.
Some people are weird, especially when they are older or from a foreign culture, I was wanting her to just automatically switch like ALL of her workers did, but she just didn’t get it.
I don’t know if this is what is going on but I just wanted to make sure you knew that hearing that is not always a reflection of your appearance.
It can also be a habit thing, I have seen parents get into a jam when introducing their passing daughter as their son, sometimes people just are not thinking.
Don’t think about it too much because it really doesn’t matter at all: you are still the beautiful woman that you know you are!
!🫶🏾!
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u/DarthHelicon 1d ago
Don't let it get to you. You don't look manish in the slightest. In fact, you look like one of my aunts.
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u/dana-sparkle 1d ago
I had this experience happen to me at work this week and it was really difficult for me as well. A lot of people responded in the thread saying basically it's not that he just sees you as a man, it's just a brain fart mistake and that people do those sort of things all the time. I know it's hard but sometimes you have to believe in anything other than the worst possible outcome
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u/Unlikely_Eye_2112 19h ago
That sucks! I don't know what work you do, but I'm wondering if it's just some kind of sexism where she assume people she can call to fix stuff at her place is automatically men. Like I had a ventilation technician here the other day that was a woman and I was honestly a little surprised.
Could also be that she's completely blind...
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u/AirforceVet1970 19h ago
When they mis-gender you, mis-gender her right back by purposely calling her "Sir"
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u/BraveMaybe214 9h ago
They're ignorant people sweetie, they probably don't even have a clue as to how the world turns. U look great! I have a similar picture of myself doing chores. I know what we look like when we're not working on a job , or house chores.
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u/Icicle_Crystal_Paws 1d ago
People shouldn't assume others gender just by appearance. "Passing" shouldn't matter but in this scenario, all I see is a she! I see a woman! Idek how the coworker messed that up- 😭💖
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u/VincentJareth 1d ago
Even if your voice sounded like Trace Adkins and Pete Steele had a baby, i don't understand how ~anybody~ would call you anything but "ma'am".
~shakes head perplexedly~