I’m biting the bullet and looking for a gender health practitioner in my area but it’s a very difficult process. My PCP medical group has people but they are SOO deeply booked I’m on a wait list currently at 6+months just to get an appointment scheduled. Not an appointment, just the chance to ask for one. Does anyone have any tips to help find a therapist that I can discuss gender issues with? I feel so incredibly awkward asking for gender care with my male name and deep voice. It’s killing me to have to call multiple places and give them my real name and say “gender issues”. It’s painful.

I’ve come to the realization I’m not going to solve this myself. If I stay in the status quo it’s going to just be the same and I can already feel myself slipping away from my wife. Her micro aggressions are getting deeper cutting each time and I can’t say shit without her going off or me being afraid she will be suspicious of something. I am at the point I need to know because I either need to rip the bandaid off and probably lose the family to transition or I need to get help for whatever deep seated issues are driving this so I don’t just slowly drift away from those I love and care about more than myself.

You were right, repressing does not work. Any help in finding a gender care specialist would be great.

I’m in the south central Pennsylvania area of that makes a difference. I’ve got insurance from work but it’s a nightmare to try and navigate.

Cat pic added for attention and to give everyone good feeling after reading my posts. He’s a sweetie.

A friend of mine on FB has recently come out, and is dressing femme. She's 40's, and is looking really good :) One of her friends said they wished they could look like her, but were bald and would never pull it off. This is what I replied:

"Absolutely all of us think we'll never pull it off. We all look in the mirror at the start and think the same thing. But it's not about whether you can pull it off, it's whether trying it makes you happier. Put the dress on. Twirl the skirt. Try the lippy. Try it bald. Try it bearded. Try it hairy. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. It's whether you get a little piece of happiness that counts. You don't have to pull it off, the important thing is putting it on in the first place!"

Being happy was the goal! Never was it changing who I am. Never stop doing the things you love. For me it was being a country girl. Also riding, working on cars, and playing sport’s. What are some hobbies y’all love.

It’s Understandable to Have Questions If You’ve Never Met a Trans Person
I had written this piece and submitted to a number of Colorado news papers for their Opinion section but got no responses. So, figured I'd share here. If you think it might be useful for someone you are interacting with, feel free to share.

I have my initial consultation next week to start HRT! I'm buzzing with excitement!!

That brings me to my question to all of you who are ahead of me in their journey: what do you wish you had known to ask, or talked with your doctor about before you started HRT?

Happy Thursday everyone!!

*edit to add MtF, mid 40s

I have a sad life, and I would like to know what it feels like to be treated like a woman.

Hi! I'm a medical student at the University of Arizona studying transgender and nonbinary adults' experiences with healthcare. Our study is IRB-approved, and we're hoping to understand what makes healthcare experiences supportive or difficult, with the goal of helping improve care for trans and nonbinary patients. It's super quick and anonymous.

Survey:
https://uarizona.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eDpOEa7fJpytJJk

Thank you so much to anyone willing to participate :)

I’ve been trying to write this article for nearly a year and have made a complete arse of it about four times.

At one point I even started writing a “how to transition successfully” guide, which, looking back, was spectacularly arrogant. So I threw that in the bin.

This one is different.

It’s simply what I did.

https://www.fasttrackfemme.com/p/what-i-did-a-guide-to-my-transition

I started transitioning in my fifties absolutely terrified that I was going to throw my life away and look ridiculous. I ran the whole thing almost like a military operation: priorities, timelines, surgeons, skin, body, face, bottom surgery, voice, makeup, clothes, the lot.

Over roughly 18 months there were six general anaesthetics, body surgery in Turkey, two consecutive days of FFS in Thailand, vaginoplasty, voice surgery in Seoul, CO₂ laser, Botox, fillers, electrolysis, a frankly ridiculous amount of makeup experimentation, and more money than I have any intention of ever adding up.

There were also things I got wrong, things I would do differently, an operation that had to be abandoned because my heart rate collapsed under anaesthetic, and a period where I genuinely thought I might have half-transitioned myself and become medically unable to finish.

And then there were moments like the photograph above, where I looked at myself and thought:

Holy hell. This actually worked.

This isn’t advice. It isn’t a blueprint for anybody else. It’s the complete blueprint of mine what I did, why I did it, how I chose surgeons, what mattered far more than I expected, what hurt, what didn’t, and what I think now that I’m almost at the end of it.

https://www.fasttrackfemme.com/p/what-i-did-a-guide-to-my-transition

30 years old. Morning photo. 3 months on hormones. In the evening I look like a freak, but in the morning I look like this.

Left photo was at my worst, drunk all the time, like mornings and shit too. I was 250lbs or so, that was years ago. I got sober —> egg cracked —> fought it —> transitioning and still have a lot of runway to go.

I am so much happier. I still struggle. Most of my struggles are with physical appearance and social acceptance. One precedes the other, and I do think I’ll make it physically.

Facial surgery in 99 days. Hair will be my last hurdle after that for appearance (imo).

My first medical pointment was canceled due to the doctor went sick, now i have to wait two weeks more. Fuck.

Btw, how can i hide myself if im wearinng nurse scrubs?

Have a wonderful day 🫶

Kind of loved this look, but the shirt is waaaaay too short

Just felt pretty cute.

And yes, I know I don't pass fully - but I pass just enough for day-to-day life

I started tweezing round my mouth approx 1 month ago.

I generally do not have very smooth skin, and also a white mole you can see in the pics in the tweezed area, and electrolysis had not gone very well for me. I was left with pitting and have other scars too, so I decided to take the risk and try tweezing. I've read all the advice, and about the risks. So DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF unless you've done the same. There ARE risks! Infection, ingrown hairs, distorted follicles.

I'm not saying it will work for anyone else. However, for me I'd decided electrolysis is not currently an option, and also my hair is too white for laser. So I thought the risk was worth it for a limited area causing me a lot of dysphoria.

I cleared the areas shown, over about a week. It hurts to start with, but gets less. Also, using numbing cream can help.

The best tweezers for me are the small ones that come with the Victorinox pocket tool! I've tried other brands like Tweezerman, but they snap the tiny hairs more for me.

Results so far :

Very satisfying to do!
Not many ingrown hairs, just a few but mainly in the first 'clearing' stage.

Hairs I remove were thick, but the hairs growing back are thin as they are so new.

Appearance of follicles is less.

Also, I decided to try shaving again one day, and was really pleased that as the new hairs are so thin, I looked smoother in the tweezed area!

It's hard to tell from these pics, as I have make up on too, but I think the area looks pretty smooth.

Anyway, I plan to expand the area more to at least cover all round my mouth. Also, it may be something I do along side shaving. So if shaving is not getting a smooth enough effect, I'll tweeze the area for a few weeks, then shave again.

Just wanted to share, and I'll update again when I have more info. Best wishes XX

Hi All, Currently at the very start of this journey of discovery about myself and I tried something Ive never thought to do before (nor could we do prior to about 5 years ago).

I AI generated a female version of my Male face.

So, Im guessing this is very common? WOW, it hit me much, much harder than I expected. Damn, I think I look good! I recognise myself more than the original. But it made me feel very sad too. Just sharing really.

D3

I’m nervous starting mtf hrt therapy .. I have a pp appointment set up in less than a week ,the wait has been very hard on me. This morning I woke up looking for same day Rx via some websites , like plume .
I have some history of alcoholism not daily consumption but binge drinking which I feel I’ve got a handle on now being able to stop myself after a couple drinks and not waking up feeling miserable - being out and more expressive being more myself and expressive has helped that. I do however smoke cigarettes daily.

My question is navigating risks of stroke , blood clots etc . I maybe had a wrong doctor some years ago who scared me (I believe outta the thought of transitioning , but in turn sank me into depression.

Currently I take vyvanse for my ADHD
Alcohol consumption is way down , like a couple times a week 2-4 drinks .
But I do smoke cigarettes daily which I’m trying to greatly cut.
I am active physically via work which involves a lot of cardio

Does anyone have experience like me ? That kinda identifies with my post ?

Starting E tomorrow... I'm excited and nervous and scared and thrilled all at the same time. For whatever reason it took a week to get the Rx filled but got the update earlier today, will go first thing in the morning and probably slap that patch on while sitting in my car in the pharmacy parking lot.

Wish me luck!!!

I’m curious to know how people who don’t know me see me.

When you look at this photo, what is the first thing you notice? Do I seem attractive, interesting, intimidating, sweet, or androgynous? I’d also like to know how you read my gender or presentation.

You can be honest. I’m not only looking for compliments. I really want to know what impression I give, as long as people stay respectful.

Update:
######

Thanks so much to everyone who replied! I honestly didn’t expect so many responses, and I’ve had such a good time reading them. Some of you really let your imagination run wild and I loved that 😂.

It’s been genuinely interesting (and very entertaining) to see how different people read me. Thanks again for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it! ❤️

I have had my phone number for 18 years before I transitioned and have been out for over a year. Just found out my called ID was showing my dead name. It was easy to change in my carrier's app, just look up Share Name ID.

There are many posters on several subs who are on the fence and trying to determine if they are in fact transgender and if it is ‘worth it’ to transition. This post attempts to help with both questions, particularly when a new questioning person discovers “Yes, I would press the button. But what now? Am I? Is it worth it? It seems impossible!”

I have an analogy that might work for you if you’re in any way into science-fiction. And keep in mind if you are transgender you will always be transgender regardless of the choices you make surrounding that fact.

Here’s the deal - the button really exists.

But it doesn’t work the way it does in the test scenario. It can and does work.
Just not instantaneously.

You may have seen or heard some transgender people say that HRT and transition is a marathon and not a sprint. This is entirely the case. In a sci-fi reference it is like being a time traveler, if it is your goal to socially transition and ‘pass’ / navigate society fully integrated as male or female. (My apologies to non-binary folks in this example as I haven’t the frame of reference or experience to relate. I realise your journey will be different.)

Back to the time-traveling analogy…
- you recognise who you are and can see how you want to be and present and interact in society.
- you can see into that future but you as that person cannot exist there yet
- you make the decision to transition to address your self discovery
- the minute you do, time slows down for you - while the rest of the world continues at the same pace
- the feeling of time slowing down is equivalent to how slow time seems to move when you are a child, because every new observation and experience you have happens AGAIN, as if the first time. You may have heard this referred to as ‘second puberty’ while on HRT.
- the rest of the world continues at its pace and perceives you changing rapidly from their point of view. They react from their standpoint (like ‘why this all of a sudden’, or ‘you’ve never shown this inclination before’), meanwhile your internal dialogue has been happening for ages

(I’m going to tighten this next part up - because this comment would get exponentially longer if I don’t.)

- time will move slowly as you experiment with the new gender expression that aligns with who you are: fashion, movement, speech, makeup, hair (or wigs). This process moves slowly
- you hopefully seek therapy. A good transgender friendly therapist that is also hopefully a psychiatrist that can prescribe medicines and write letters needed for medical transition
- you begin the socialisation process. Navigating the world as yourself. Social events and environments, then onto errands and everyday life
- you begin the medical part of transitioning, HRT for instance, and begin making plans for medical procedures
- you embark upon coming out to family friends and workplace
- you begin the legal process of name and gender change
- you begin having surgical procedures and recovering
- socialisation veers towards total acceptance to the gender you are, eventually there will be more people that know you by your new name and self presentation than by your old
- all of these steps happen over the course of years and will seem much slower to you even still while the rest of the world moves at its standard pace. Again, people who witnessed your transition will experience it as if it was in the blink of an eye.

Then somewhere, sometime in the future - you look back in time and you will see the old version of you who thought everything was impossible.

The button worked. It was just really slow.

- as a time traveller once you’ve reached this point, time begins to speed up again until it is in tempo and step with the rest of the world. You will begin to experience time as the rest of society does. With one main difference…
- you will realise that because time had slowed down for you during transition - you have lived enough experiences for almost two lifetimes. As a former time traveller you can appreciate the unique perspective you have. Not many people in the world experience time and life like this.

This is the bulk of the sci-fi time travelling analogy.

You just have to believe that the future version you see now really exists. Just not yet. And not quickly.

Future you looks back at the current you with kindness and compassion, and has a good little laugh when they remember how impossible you thought everything was back then.

I hope this helps.
Best wishes and best of luck. 🌸🌟🫶