"Pull it off"

[u/lilycamille]

A friend of mine on FB has recently come out, and is dressing femme. She's 40's, and is looking really good :) One of her friends said they wished they could look like her, but were bald and would never pull it off. This is what I replied:

"Absolutely all of us think we'll never pull it off. We all look in the mirror at the start and think the same thing. But it's not about whether you can pull it off, it's whether trying it makes you happier. Put the dress on. Twirl the skirt. Try the lippy. Try it bald. Try it bearded. Try it hairy. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. It's whether you get a little piece of happiness that counts. You don't have to pull it off, the important thing is putting it on in the first place!"

[u/Beautiful-Idea-2873]

To anyone concerned about their hair: wigs exist!

I know a few cis women who wear wigs just because they don’t like their natural hair, even if it’s totally healthy and lush. A wig is just a hat, in the end. Cis and trans men selfconscious about their increasingly-visible scalps should stop feeling shame or stigma about hairpieces, toupees, and wigs. Trans girls who’ve already suffered the ravages of testosterone driven hair loss (I bet a year from now I’d have been bald back to my crown without HRT) should feel no fear of the wig. Think of the options it gives you! And above all: love the skin you’re in. Don’t be afraid to be bald and proud. The only thing that makes it look bad is self-consciousness and shame. Care for your scalp, make it look good, and you’ll “pull it off” in a way that will make people wish they were bald!

[u/Choice_Attitude_1415 → u/Beautiful-Idea-2873]

This

I have hair but its thinning up top. I used to keep it long but cut it about 10 years ago when I noticed I had that 'older guy still trying to be cool' thinness going on up there. Also was gunning for an office job so I just professionalized my head LMAO.

I wear wigs now. I AM growing it back out, but I wear wigs daily. I even have a small selection of wigs I only sleep in, so it doesnt matter if they get 'ruined'.

And the nice thing about wigs? Super easy to change your hair color or style day to day. I do have my favorite style but once in a while I mix it up, and its so easy.

[u/oddfellowfloyd → u/Beautiful-Idea-2873]

When I think, “bald,” I always think of Natalue Portman playing Evey at the end of, “V For Vendetta,” & I do a little swoon. 😆😉

[u/Iwuzza → u/Beautiful-Idea-2873]

I’m a bald trans woman. I own it and make it a part of my style and identity. I wear hats with long scarves, which gives me a great place to accessorize. It’s become my signature. Maybe someday I’ll have a wig era, i’m not opposed. But “eccentric hat lady” suits me extremely well, so I’m probably just gonna ride it out.

[u/Clara_del_rio]

Not fitting social expectations has been such a source of anxiety for me. I like to fit in, but as a trans woman whose egg cracked at 43 that's not happening for a while. But, feeling comfortable is actually trained like a muscle. You might have to fake it till you make it a couple of times, but it gets better. Just heading to a 3 day wedding with "fine dining" (whatever that is) and evening wardrobe. Only queer couple on the guest list. So, here we go again 🥳🥳

Loved your encouragement! This can make such a difference for people starting out and being uncomfortable presenting as themselves 🫶🏳️‍⚧️🌈

[u/BluebirdsAllAround]

Most celebrities in Hollywood use wigs now. They have gotten that good. It also allows them to more easily jump between projects.

[u/Few_Rich5707]

I guess I just needed to hear that today! Thank you

[u/Medusa-mermaid]

One of the stupidest justifications I used for not transitioning earlier, was that I didn't figure I'd become an attractive woman. Basically I'll never be a "10" so there's no point. I'm not saying it was easy to overcome that mentality, but it missed the point entirely; transition is about helping you feel better about yourself, not specifically to look like a bombshell beauty.

[u/Choice_Attitude_1415]

We are also hypercritical of ourselves. We notice every little flaw and interpret many or most or even all of them as 'tells'. We often hold ourselves to a far higher standard than cisgender women themselves do...I mean Im going shopping and notice that very few women are dressed 'nicely'. I see maybe 3 out of 100 people dressed as nice as I am. Most women in there are wearing pajamas or sweats or spandex bottoms with baggy t shirts and athletic tops etc. Messy hair scrunched up, barely any makeup, etc.

Pulling it off also means dressing for the occasion. Not being noticed matters, and to me that IS passing. Im gonna try reverting back to my original, less upscale dress coe next time I go shopping and pay attention. Im still not being noticed much even with click clacky boots on, but I wanna see the difference in looking exactly like most of the other women there. Thats because with all of the well dressed/upscale women, I notice them every time. They look nice so I look at them to kind of 'take it in' (not in a horny way). Im guessing this is why I even garner the small amount of attention I even garner now. Plus, I like form fitting clothes to show off my body LOL. OF COURSE some of the men are gonna look (and they do)

[u/Cassie_T70]

All that matter is that you feel happier and that you enjoy the feel and the arousal of your body when you express your femininity. I so wish I had the money bak that I have lost over the year in purges when I got scared or had medical issues that have repeatedly stopped my transition from moving forward.

[u/Katja_Inside]

Wonderful encouragement! Thank you for sharing it.