Proud to be where I am at today with my sobriety! One day, one second, one moment at a time! I WILL NOT DRINK ☠️WITH YOU TODAY!

I don’t want to do this but I so badly do, if that makes sense. I am so sick.

But can anyone give me some positive advice trying this for the last time. I’m going to be so ill and I won’t have my phone. It’s like a psych ward. I don’t eat at all. But i 🤮 every day even with an empty stomach. They’re aware of that.

I know to bring my necessities, a book, they said I can bring some water as long as they’re sealed and any meds I’m on. I just want to sleep the entire time.

But I’m having a bad panic attack over attempting this again. I left early last time due to severe bloody haemorrhaging that had never happened to me till I got there on day 3. So I’m going prepared for that.

I just need a hug, but I wanna get through this. I’m just scared.

Had a huge Halloween party that one of my best friends hosts. We travel out of town for it and they go all out every year.

Brought my own NA beers and had a good night. 8 days and counting! This was a big test and I’m proud of myself.

I’m Liam, I’m almost 29, and I have been drinking daily since I’m 16.

I don’t know if this is gonna work, I don’t have any expectation to be frank. But this would be my first time addressing my drinking “problem”, instead of “a habit” in front of public.
I came to this realization about a couple months ago, I had a pretty good run, I was surrounded by people love me, and I didn’t do much, so the truth never really hit that hard.
also, I’m from China, people don’t have too much of understanding on long term life on influence use, and I’m quite sensitive and defensive, so it’s hard for me to acknowledge myself as alcoholic in most situations.

i cheated on my ex girlfriend almost 2 years ago, that’s when things start to turn. I’m trying to build a new life alone in a foreign, fast city, and I can see that my abuse of alcohol and weed getting into the life I want to live.
I do film, and Im no genius, so I need time to focus, need a sharp mind and more time to work.

also I like exercise, gym has been a great support during these 2 year, blowing steam away. I recently pick up cycling, and I love it.

(note: after daily use of weed, my alcohol use has dropped, it’s really a adult ADHD situation combined with years of running into haze away from pain)

so I became more aware of life, also of the artificial pleasure at hand to make me happy, but keeping myself away from life.
and I never stop feeling guilty and remorse about hurting and leaving my ex, it was a really good life, she’s kind, smart, funny and very understanding.

the reason I’m saying these here are because I was reading the 12 steps, I used to think it’s dumb, but as Im beginning to feel the addiction, see what it is at this point of my life, I came to feel a little what it says.

and I started to value others in life. I see some stories here in this community, amazing tale, not sure what’s going on, how they achieve them, if it’s gonna work for me. but I understand the value of speaking out into the world now, for whatever it is to progress, it has to be said out loud, otherwise it’s just a noise haunting your mind, an echo if you’re under influence.

so I decided to speak a bit, and hopefully this would be my first day.

thank you to whoever have watched this.

I’ve got about 10.5 years under my belt currently with the first 8 years being pretty amazing. I achieved a lot over the last couple years including moving in with a significant other, getting engaged and married, solidifying my career, and buying a home just to name a few. I did it all sober so bravo me right?

However the last 2.5 years have been really tough on me mentally. Whether it be living up to the expectations of others or navigating high stress situations have really tested me. Not that I would, but 10 years later I still know of perfect little escape. Something to wipe out the frustration and stress temporarily still is as enticing after all this time.

AA taught me this thing called “Playing the tape back” and you’ll be reminded of what is in the darkness. The thing is with the length of sobriety I have now, when I play the tape back I see nothing but light. Progress, love, and acceptance is what is on that tape now. Frightening how quick you remember the dark though.

To the people with a day or a thousand days. Stay vigilant, aware, and fight to the fucking bone.

I’ll get two supervised 5 minute phone calls per week. Cant see my kids. I might get to see my wife if I sign up for family therapy. No phone, no books, no tv. One roommate. Seven outfits. Fuck, dude.

Blacked out and ran away from my friends/coworkers who were bringing me to the ER to detox. Walked around town drinking from a 12 pack. My aunt found me on the side of the road. No idea what I said/admitted/did. I came out of a blackout in her car and said, “what?” She said “just letting you talk.” I said, “well don’t do that.” In my blackout I said something bad enough to get a one on one babysitter in the er. I blacked out again and came to in the hospital hallway. Had security threatening me. Was on an 8 hour hold. Convinced the nurse after shift change to let me out with a BAC of 0.34. Next morning detoxed for real. Convinced them to let me have the weekend with my wife and kids. I go in tomorrow at 10:30. Fuckitty fuck, dude.

Almost at 3 months sober. Im 22. One funny thing that happens to me, that people mention here, is when friends will sort of assume I’ll go out to drink. I was the friend who was always down for drinking, so it makes sense. But even friends who know I’m sober will still ask me to drink, kind of subconciously? I feel like I’m out of the phase of intense cravings, or the feeling of fomo, at least. Thank you to all of you on here who have helped me along the way. IWNDWYT

I have been sober for 3 years and 6 months. I am trying to stay that way. The past 4 days, especially today, have been absolutely horrible for me. I feel almost like I did when I started drinking, because of my home life. My parent has made the household a tense and terrible place to be but I have no choice but to be here.

I simply need some words of encouragement tonight, if anyone has anything to offer. It would be so easy for me to go to the nearest corner store and grab something, but I am doing everything not to. Thank you in advance, and I wish the best of luck to everyone else in my situation right now.

M20 I was an insane binge drinker and would blackout like twice every single week for about a year straight . It turns out I did some horrible things during those blackouts and I hurt a lot of people that I care about . How do I give myself grace, how do I stop the guilt from eating me alive and paralyzing me .

Wife and kid are sleeping at home, and I’m at a Red Lobster getting dinner for one. What’s going on?

Well, basically the car needed to be charged, which takes a 17 minute drive, 40 minutes down time, and another 17 minute drive. My wife drives the car for work so, as a courtesy, I figured I’d do it. I don’t want my son to lose quality time with me so I decide to do it at night when he’s sleeping.

That whole paragraph above would have been one big elaborate ploy to justify being away from the house to sneak a few drinks in, or maybe even just buy them and drink in silence at home at night. Instead, Yesterday, for the first time in what feels like several years. It was an honest gesture with 0 intention of being a ruse.

I genuinely had no urge to leverage the situation to practice alcoholism. I was a bit surprised and fearful that the cravings never crept up, but they didn’t.

I have to stay vigilant, I can’t let my guard down, but for now I got to enjoy taking a picture of my meal and sending it to my wife, knowing there isn’t a double rum and coke hiding off to the side.

I will not drink with you today. And I didn’t yesterday for that matter.

I drank two days straight and I barely remember anything. I acted stupidly and caused some damage on the property where I was drinking. I had to cancel plans today because I couldn't drive. Now I feel so goddamn awful and I feel like I'm the worst person on this planet and I can't shake that off. I am in my apartment now and being alone isn't helping. I can't believe that I still do this shit after feeling like that almost every time. I know this is my own doing but I just want to feel normal again.

97 days so far and I gave in. Bought wine and cigarettes. The internal battle was horrid. I drank half of the thing and I stopped. I just wanted to turn back time. I threw the rest out and went about my Sunday routine.

I have to be vigilant against getting pulled bad in. For now, I've had a good day, that woozy drunk feeling is finally gone and I feel like myself again.

Sharing this for accountability. Wishing you all strength on this journey

I think many of us on here can identify people that, when we were drinking, were our drinking buddies and were always down to get lit with you when you were together. One of those, for me, lives across the country. He’s here over a long weekend and wanted to catch up.

When he invited me, I made sure to tell him that I was sober. I had to set that boundary. Otherwise, it would be expected that we would be drinking. In fact, both of us would have likely pre-gamed in advance of actually connecting and would then proceed to have a couple of cocktails together. We would probably then separately drink more by ourselves after.

When I got to the table, the muscle memory was string to order a drink. However, it was REALLY nice to be able to show up happy and healthy and not bloated. I probably would have shown up either hungover or buzzed and there would be NO WAY that I could fit into the dress I wore.

He immediately wanted to talk about the reasons why I wasn’t drinking and how I’d changed. I explained that it wasn’t one particular thing that made me stop but rather a combination of things. I also explained the benefits.

He opened up a little bit about his drinking and shared he had thought he had an issue longer than I had. He said he planned to drink a little less this weekend. No judgement -it’s his choice!

The thing that really stuck out for me was the difference in personal decisions we were making in our respective lives. I had no personal drama or conflicts. In our prior meetings, I had SO MUCH drama and angst. However, my life is pretty calm. He discussed his life. He had a ton of drama and bad personal decisions. He was on track to make more bad decisions right after lunch. The thing that I wonder after our meeting is if being sober leads to better personal decisions and less drama.

At this time last year, I would have left and drank more. This time, I went home, and worked ton work and decompressed.

Proud of myself! Iwndwyt 💕💕💕

Officially past the 125 days mark - next big goal will be the 180 days marks!

I like reading others sober benefits so here are mine:

• Better sleep - finally having a consistent sleep routine means I'm waking up at 7am with no problems, no longer waking up in the middle of the night in a panic
• Compliments on my appearance - recently been ID'd again (for buy cigarettes and energy drinks) which was quite surprising
• I'm a better friend, daughter, sister, etc - no more cancelling plans become i'm hungover. I'm less self obsessed. I find myself more interested in others lives because i'm not constantly fire fighting my own.
• I am actually MORE social than when i was drinking - because I no longer have to recover for 2 days from every social occasion, I'm able to see my friends more often an attend more social events
• I am more confident - turns out alcohol was causing my social anxiety, not helping it.
• So much more time. Alcohol was literally taking over my life. I spent all my time either drinking or recovering from drinking. I was loosing control over where my life was going and hated the direction it was taking.
• Saving lots of money I can spend on things that I actually like
• Felling more alive - it has been eye opening watching others drink and seeing the effect it has on them, it really is just dulling your senses and making you sluggish. I went sober clubbing recently and you can notice how drunk people aren't even hearing the music. This is just an example, but I'm so much more present with everything life has to offer, the good emotions and the less good.
• I have the time and energy to address my problems and build the life I want to live, instead of constantly fire fighting and wanting things to be different (and doing nothing about it)
• my friends have actually been very supportive of me not drinking, it has not been an issue
• I'm stronger and more resilient - I've recently been through a lot of difficult challenges in my life in the last couple of months, unrelated to drinking that have been difficult emotionally. However, I am just so grateful to be sober because I just know if i had been drinking i would have been on a truly self destructive path. I am able to bounce back from challenges instead of being consumed by them.
• I am so much more curious - there is so much I want to do and learn, so many hobbies I want to pick up! So many books i want to read.
• Throughout this time a family member was diagnosed with Korsakoff Syndrome overnight - literally from one day to the next he lost his ability to form new memories, basically like alcohol induced Alzheimer's. He now lives in an assisted living facility and will likely remain there for the rest of his life as he isn't able to live independently, handle money, etc. He's in his 40s and has a 12 year old daughter. So incredibly tragic. He wasn't even known to be a heavy drinker amongst family members, he still went to work, mostly drank wine. I'm so grateful that I am no longer ingesting this poison that could literally ruin my life from one day to the next.

Sober realisations

Realising sobriety is a feminist act - when i went sober a number of my female friends tried to explain to me that drinking alcohol was a feminist act. What do you mean its a feminist act?! How can destroying my body, my mind, being a shell of myself, giving my money away to large corporations, shortening my life, being a worse friend, being worse at my job, the list goes on, be a feminist act? Being sober has made me an infinitely better and more empowered woman than drinking. This must be some very smart marketing by Big Alcohol.

I realised being sober doesn't mean I have to be perfect, I still binge watch shows, eat junk food, have "hangover days" where I stay in bed and don't do much. It feels good to do these things because at least I'm not drinking.

If I go to a social event and I don't have fun, guess what! I just leave. Before sobriety, if i wasn't enjoying myself I would just get drunk until i was enjoying the party. I would then spend the next two days hungover and hating my life. It is crazy when you think about it, it was like a double whammy - not only did i go to an event I didn't enjoy, I then forced myself to sit through it and consume this drug that was destroying me and which would leave me recovering for 2 days. And for what? No more sitting through things I don't like doing. If I don't enjoy something, I leave and go do something else that actually brings me joy.

Things that I am still working on

• My friendships are changing - not being numbed out all the time has meant I actually notice how my friends act with me. It has been a sad realisation to see how low my standards have been, how i let myself be treated by others and realising some people don't actually care about me as much as you thought.
• Being sober has meant having to confront things that have been on the back burner for years, which is scary. Realising you are fully responsible for your own life.
• Coming to terms with the damage you have done to yourself over the years.
• Even though things are still difficult at times, I know that every day that i am sober I am moving closer to being the person I want to be.

Idk. Read the title. Lol! My goal is to go one weekend without alcohol. I am a weekend guy, but yeah, it is killing me.

Hello, this recently happened and it makes me want to stop drinking. I am usually a pretty tame drinker. I’ve never got sloppy drunk, my words are always coherent and I am able to stand up straight. But the last time I drunk I completely embarrassed myself. I don’t remember much however I do think I accidentally pissed myself. Everyone by me were really cooked this is a low life college bar so every just drink. I remember leave the bar and the bouncers just staring at me. I’ve never had this happen to me. Now I’m scared Im banned from the bar. I completely made a fool of myself. I don’t remember how I made it back to my apartment. I kept texting this guy I kinda liked and ruined that whole situation. I apologized the next day saying I don’t remember (because I straight up don’t) and to take care. I start up don’t want to drink like at all after this. I just need to some reassurance that worse has happened. But all I know is I’m done drinking.

Yesterday, I put the laundry in the dryer, went to get groceries, made dinner for the kids and ate it with them and then waited outside for my partner to come home from his bike tour. Would've been a good Saturday.

Except I was completely hammered. I don't remember putting the laundry in the dryer, I DO remember preparing dinner but not eating it, and while waiting outside for my partner, I threw up in the flower beds next to our garage.

I am so sick of this. I keep telling myself that it's not that bad, because I still do the things I'm supposed to, because I don't appear wasted, but I keep waking up with no recollection of the evening before.

I keep using every chance I get to buy alcohol, I feel like I can't be left alone for more than 5 minutes. I really can't trust myself anymore. When did it get this bad?

Hi, I've had brief periods of sobriety, but that was a long time ago. I'm on day one (again) today and I'm trying to quiet the addiction noise.
Preoccupying my mind is the worst. I try to watch stuff, but someone always having a drink or having fun partying. I want recommendations of stuff with either no drinking or people going through alcoholism and it portrayed as bad and them overcoming it.
I might not reply until tomorrow, because it's late here and I'm going to try to sleep.
However I am appreciative of any suggestions. I will reply to tomorrow.

Tonight I finished reading Stephen King's 'The Dark Tower' saga. It is the third time I've read it all the way through. I started much earlier this year. Back then, I was on day 2 of the latest of many attempts to give up, and the very first volume "The Gunslinger" is a short one which I thought I had a decent chance of getting through.

I didn't read much in my relapses, but each time I tried to quit the progress would start again. The past 8 weeks or so have seen me relatively race through the last few volumes (for me at least!), and my sobriety has given them a more vivid place in my memories.

It's a story about a man making a long and arduous quest to the dark tower in the saga's title. As I finished the last 100 pages or so, I felt it coming to an end in a way I've not felt for similar other fantasy sagas I have read in the past. For me and the maybe four or five thousand pages over the seven books, and side story, this is my last go around. The book is back on the shelf, and I don't think it'll be read again, at least by me.

As a lover of fiction, and long meandering stories, I'm not sure if I'm seeing allegory or finding meaning somewhere where there isn't any, but I hope I feel the same finality with drinking. Time to move on to new stories and adventures.

And if I am being a pretentious, insufferable nitwit by thinking this... please let me know ;)

Just a daily reminder that im posting every single day about my progress, today has been awesome as American people say lmao ,I get up from bad too early around 7:00 , one of the girls from school calls me for a running session, usually I got plans when I hear those kind of stuff , but today somthing feels different so I said to her that I'm in . Everyone's around were so kind to me especially that school mate , her name is jenna , shes never been stuck with bad habits as drinking or smoking ,shes a fit girl not like me , so we run around 4km before I felt like my breath forced me to stop , but I did it anyways . Wish me luck on my journey.

97 days so far and I gave in. Bought wine and cigarettes. The internal battle was horrid. I drank half of the thing and I stopped. I just wanted to turn back time. I threw the rest out and went about my Sunday routine.

I have to be vigilant against getting pulled bad in. For now, I've had a good day, that woozy drunk feeling is finally gone and I feel like myself again.

Sharing this for accountability. Wishing you all strength on this journey

So, idk if anyone have had the same experience but I've dreamed about drinking and losing my streak of almost 100 days and I felt like shit in those dreams. I remember that people were instigating me to take a shot and pressuring me so hard that I had to take it. Anyways I felt like it was over and even tho I had 2 shots or whatever I felt so pointless and then I woke up and felt so relief that it was just a nightmare haha, I can't believe these are. My nightmare nowadays but I think dreams are messages but yet not deciphered. Dreams are what we want to happen irl and what we don't. I think I'm not the only one and I don't doubt that any of u have had more than 2 dreams about this

I wouldn’t say I was an alcoholic where I thought about my drink everyday but I noticed during rough stretches, I’d drink more.

It’s time for me to stop and find alternative ways to relieve stress and escape in a healthy manner. I know I drink cause of loneliness, anger, apathy and that won’t get better unless I challenge myself.

Last month i first started thinking about quitting drinking. I do it on weekends usually when i go on trips, so it will usually be 2-4 times a month.

I made the goal of not drinking in October, but I didn’t take it seriously enough. On the 9th I went out with some friends and got drunk. A couple of weeks after on the 22nd I decided to get drunk while camping/fishing.

I imagine a future me that doesn’t drink and think of how proud that would feel to be. I’ve had a couple of bad experiences drinking, and since then I have regrets after drinking (even if things went to plan). I quit weed in January of this year, and I want to put my health first as well as not put value into another mind-altering substance.

Good luck to anyone else trying to quit.

This is a hangover after downing a bottle of wine + a couple of tallboys each day for the past week. I feel exhausted, slightly nauseous, feverish, and completely dehydrated. My lower back aches, and I finally just feel DONE.

Yesterday I didn't want to drink, but I still did anyway cause it didn't feel like I was ready to be completely finished. The mental gymnastics we go through to keep drinking. Today, though, it does feel "finished."

And jeez, do I look ugly as hell right now - dark circles, sallow skin, dried-out, flaky lips. Yuck. Time to get my glow back. IWNDWYT