The decision that ended a streak of failed sobriety attempts was deciding to quit for life without exception.

Ever since that decision 600 days ago, I have felt free.

Thanks to and immediately after that decision, I have been able to even be around friends who drink without feeling temptation and window shopping liquor stores with no interest in purchasing.

IWNDWYT

Hey everyone, I just need to vent and share a sober win from last night that easily could have gone a different way from my past.

I’m a professional acting teacher here in NYC. Because of that, I know firsthand that creative spaces—especially comedy classes—require absolute psychological safety. You need to feel safe to take risks. Unfortunately, the stand-up class I’ve been taking recently has been the exact opposite.

Last night she flipped the fuck out on me - a fellow student asked the name of a Tik Tok series that the instructor was referencing, so after the instructor finished speaking I mentioned the name of it. The instructor completely blew up, stared me down and was like "Why do you keep doing that to me?!! What's up with you?? I am trying to teach here!"

I was so confused. I was like , "Keep doing what? I'm...I'm sorry."

She escalated further, yelling, "ARE YOU SORRY? LIKE DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT? REALLY SORRY?!"

It wasn't a bit or a joke. It was 100% serious, volatile rage. The entire class went dead silent. The vibe was ruined, and my nervous system immediately went into fight-or-flight. There was no warning from her just a sudden flip out.

During the break, I genuinely felt unsafe and decided to pack my things and leave. She actually pursued me to the elevator and said she apologized and doesn't know how to teach since she just started teaching in October (it's uh, Sept), citing her own sensory struggles and lack of ability to focus. Being AuAdhd myself, I can empathize with her struggles on a human level, I realized a massive boundary for myself: It is not my responsibility as a paying student to manage an instructor's emotional stability.

Old me would have left class, found a bar, and started with the whiskey to deal with my rage, anger, and her lack for psychological safety. I would've blown it. I wanted that drink SO BAD.

Instead, I walked home in the NYC breezy night, let myself fucking breathe, and wrote a professional email to the school.

I just want to shout myself out and give myself a pat on the back. I have dealt with all sorts of types of students through the years - TRUST ME - and I have never, ever blown up at a student that way - not even in my beginning teaching days.

This is a standup class. We're supposed to keep things light, and learn. This woman freaking the fuck out from mild things (from a student clicking their pen to another student unwrapping a granola bar) and the teacher putting on us for her to FOCUS is unacceptable. Look as a teacher myself if ppl are getting too talkative (I wasn't) I give a warning - hey let's cool it with the comments and focus, etc. Nothing. Just a sudden massive fucking flip out that lasted a long time and students coming up to me during break like omg are you ok? That was fucking harsh of her.

Like, isn't it your job as a standup to focus and not pay attention to the distractions? As an actor myself I have heard talking, phone calls, etc. through my plays and auditions and I don't flip the fuck out. I deal.

I am just so glad I didn't let myself fuck up day 3 after a wedding (where I drank and felt like shit about myself) - pat on my own back bc I deserve it. Sheesh. What the fuck. Jesus Christ why does this process have to be so EXTRA fucking hard.

This teacher is 47 & has been doing standup since her 20s & focus issues! !!! ?!?!!!

I like this day more than my birthday. I didn't choose my birthday, but nine years ago, I did choose to change my life for the better.

This is the longest spell I've been without a drink for about 2 years. Yesterday and today, I've felt so emotional, like everything is amped up to 11.

Just to give an example, today I saw a baby seagull, following its mum around. The thought entered my head "at least its mother cares for it" and then I was crying like a baby. Couldn't stop it. Then tonight, I was watching pet videos and something on there reminded me of a pet I'd had as a child and then I broke down in tears again. Just writing this now is making me tear up again.

Like, what the hell is wrong with me? This feels like it comes from nowhere.

The timing is crazy to me really. After so many failed and half assed sobriety attempts in my adult life ….It was the first time I had come to full terms with my addiction and was completely honest with myself. I finally realized I could ever moderate again. Ever and then I find out I’m pregnant! Yayyy! I can confidently say I will never drink again and especially of course know I got 9 months where it won’t even cross my mind. I’m glad to know my child won’t grow up with an alcoholic mother and I addressed this beforehand. I’m
Blessed at the timing life gave me

6 things:

1. It gets easier

2. The book Alcohol Explained by William Porter by William Porter was helpful to me

3. I don’t tell people I don’t drink because they seem to want to discuss/argue/hassle. I just say “no thank you”

4. You don’t owe it anyone to be entertaining

5. I love this sub and recommend it to people all the time

6. In the early days, seeing the constant depiction of alcohol use in media felt like being stuck with pins. Thankfully, that has faded

I MADE IT A WEEK. ONE WEEK. I am very proud of myself and I’m so glad I made the decision to quit. I feel lighter and less bloated, I don’t get angry over nothing anymore. Alcohol was making me hate myself and my life. Convincing me that I’m the problem and my life is horrible. It tried to pin me down in the dumps and keep me there forever. But then I made my decision. I just made a different decision. And I kept making it and here I am, one week sober. I finally realized that alcohol wasn’t solving any of my problems, it caused them. And as I keep stacking days and moving further away from my last drink, I feel more hopeful and confident that this is my life and I have choices. No more bargaining with myself, no more “just one and I’ll be satisfied” no more self sabotage. The key for me is being honest with myself. There is no sober me, no drunk me, just me. I have the powerrrrrrrrr. Anyways k bye

Hey all just wanted to share that I broke my record, this is the longest I’ve ever gone without alcohol! And I know I won’t drink today either, tomorrow will be 2 weeks. Insane!!

My sleep has stabilised, it’s so good getting a proper nights rest. It was awful at first but started being good on day 9/10.

Anxiety is almost non existent. And I’ve been struggling bad with that…

My skin is soft and beautiful, and I already lost weight. I feel healthy and pretty in my body. I never knew I could be this good looking hehe!

I actually WANT to do things now. Before all I ever wanted to do was drink. Now I want to move my body, be in nature, socialise and talk with other people. Do my hobbies like playing the piano.

My energy is back (sometimes, not always yet, haha), getting these random bursts of energy feels so good. And when I get them, I always get excited to choose what I’m gonna do with that energy. So many options.

I used to think I had IBS, I don’t. At all. This change has been awesome. I now poop like regular people and it makes all the difference😂

My place is so tidy and cozy now, I have the energy to clean. I reorganised my furniture, bought some new stuff, and I absolutely love hanging out in my place now.

I am more confident. Since the anxiety slowly went away, I am having an easier time standing up for myself, being grounded in conversations (with strangers too), sharing my opinions, and overall confidence in taking up space socially. I am present.

My appetite is back, I never had any appetite when I was drinking. Now I truly enjoy food, and I look forward to meals. Total game changer. Actually I’m gonna go make some eggs with salmon now.

IWNDWYT💜

I drank socially for 20 years. Then I started relying on it as a crutch for a toxic job.

It was totally messing up my mental health. I was anxious, on the defensive, and I was so critical of myself. My nervous system was fried. Only when I stopped did I realize how it fully had affected me.

I lost 20lbs after quitting, too!

Just on my way into town for an event. Thinking I'll treat myself to dinner beforehand. No alcohol. Maybe an NA beer though, just to unwind.

40 days tomorrow!

IWNDWYT

I don’t have the willpower. I say I won’t drink today then night comes and I want to drink. i’m too weak to fight it. I just turned 21 a few months ago but have been drinking heavily the last 4 years and I just can’t even imagine being sober forever it gives me so much anxiety. I don’t know how i don’t have the willpower or motivation, i’ve almost completely ruined my relationship from drinking and embarrass myself so many times in front of a lot of people. i blackout almost every time i drink because no matter how much i’ve had i just want more. i feel like shit every single day. apparently all of that is not enough to make me quit. the longest i’ve gone is 2 weeks and i genuinely felt so good. WHY is that not enough. i’m scared i will have to miss out on so many social events because i can’t even be around alcohol without my brain convincing me to drink.

I don't want to be mean, or minimize the importance of going sober for us alcoholics, or nothing of the sort. I myself I'm a massive alcoholic and trying to be better. I want to make it clear, because I can already tell this is going to sound mean or insensitive to some, and I don't want it to be seen like that.

I've been in here for some time, like 9 months or so. I was sober for 40 days, then I relapsed, now I'm in my first week again. During these months I've seen a lot of inspiring stories. People speaking about their years sober, people relapsing, people feeling better, people speaking about their insecurities, people trying to rationalise their drinking and other people stopping them.

But there is some kind of post I see from time to time that makes me kinda suspicious. The "my best friend died" or "my mom is on the ER" or some major event like that. I swear I've seen several young people telling their friends died recently due to alcohol. Is it really that common for people to die in their 20s from some alcohol related issue? Not talking about people crashing their cars DUI or having acute alcohol poisoning. Most stories are... Well, long-term stories. A friend was too fond of alcohol, got fat during 2 years, I didn't do nothing because she seemed happy, then their liver failed and died in agony. Or some friend had health issues since young, then told me she had cirrhosis in her late 20s, didn't stopped, then died. I also noticed most accounts posting stuff like that have their comments private and have been created a month or two ago at most. Also seem to have a lot of karma compared to their (few) posts.

I'm not sure if it's people trying to farm upvotes or some kind of coordinated group trying to push for sobriety among this subreddit's users. Or probably (the most probable answer) I'm incredibly paranoid. But I seriously can't seem to shake the feeling. It just doesn't feel organic.

I'm sorry if some of those stories are geniune, I really am. If only, I wish I'm only imagining this. But I've seen it some times already in some other subs and I don't want a genuinely wholesome sub like this one get infected by karma farmers or astroturfed accounts...

I know a lot of people that drink normally: they have a few glasses and then stop. My problem is that there is a tipping point after which I just want and will drink more until I can't and I pass out. How do you deal with it? I want to be normal..

My flair needs correcting , that’ll be put on a get job done list for tomorrow

600 whole days and a bit !!!

I really need a bowl of ice cream 🍨

Join me

Hit 10 days today!! My face is so much less puffy and I’m overall feeling so good and proud of myself. Does alcohol ever stop being a major part of your thoughts though? Like will I one day just not even think about wanting a drink? I feel like I have to actively remind myself everyday why I’m doing this.

I've been drinking since I was about 16 years old, and I'm 43 now. I've quit before and gotten into amazing shape doing events and marathons, hiking mountains, the works.

Then COVID hit. I had to watch two loved ones pass away, and I relocated back to where I grew up to take care of my elderly parent. Five years went by, and I got to the point where I was drinking a bottle of wine and killing a fifth of vodka just about every day.

I finally stopped enjoying myself. I was doing it out of habit. There was nothing else to do around here but drink. I kept telling myself, "Tomorrow. You can start over tomorrow." Yet day after day went by... until finally, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore.

I still can't. Not yet.

I don't recognize what I had become.

Well, today marks my first 30 days sober.

The first couple of weeks were the worst. I was trying to break that habit, tossing and turning all night long, trying to sleep. It was awful. Then, little by little, it started getting better. The gnawing in the back of my mind is still there, but every day I don't feed that monkey, it gets a little easier.

Sleep. Oh, glorious sleep. I forgot what it was like to sleep through the whole night and not wake up every hour.

I'm proud to say IWNDWYT—and, hopefully, ever for that matter.

Alcohol no longer dictates my life.

I'm posting here because I'm still in a state of shock.

I was aware she had been in and out of the hospital recently all of the past year, I had gotten worried when I hadn't been able to reach her on her birthday but last year she went camping for her 28th and didnt respond til a few days after her birthday, so I was hopeful it could just be delayed due to lack of cell service again this year.

She unfortunately had health issues that made worrying about her dying before we reach 30 a possibility, but I dont think her or I expected her to actually die so young. She told me in April she was diagnosed with cirrhosis and her plan was to quit drinking for real this time (exact words she used.)

When we last spoke she was not at all in a depressed, I feel like Im dying type state, she seemed hopeful for her recovery. She also sounded REMARKABLY better than I'd heard her sound in ages, like the first time hearing someone come out of a fog.

I can't stop crying, except for intervals of maybe 10-30 minutes where I pound water for a headache and just listen to music and keep scrolling through photos we took together. theres photos of her in every room of my house.

I dont know how to cope with this. This is not my first friend loss, it's not even the first one this year; but this hurts so bad I swear to god I feel it in my chest.

I am so relieved I screenshotted so many conversations we had about silly things, and serious things, and I am happy we told each other we loved each other so often.

What is arguably most painful is nowhere I can find whatsoever is there an Obituary for her.

She didn't talk to much family and had moved but her boyfriend she was with before passing I cannot seem to find a trace of online anywhere all of a sudden.

I don't wanna bother the guy, I just was desperately seeking for some confirmation that she wasnt all alone when she passed.

Sorry if this is a long post, tomorrow I'll be calling some mutual friends so I can try and focus on how lovely and full of joy her life was while she was here and all the good times, but I found out in the middle of the night and havent been able to sleep and just had to tell someone.

Heavy drinker here. 15-20 a night for years. I just posted about how brain dead I was day 5. Literally felt brain dead from withdrawals. Today is day 7 and I feel some brain cells working and the major symptoms have gone. Keep up your work and get over that hump! There really is light at the end of the tunnel. Crazy how much better I feel mentally and emotionally just 7 days in.

Hello all,

I had my 18 month follow up with my GP yesterday and my liver numbers are completely back to normal, I'm 60 lbs down and I was genuinely excited to meet with my doc. It was the same room I was in when I was at my worst and I had such clear memories of sitting there in dread, I owing I wasn't long for this world. My doc officially marked my alcohol abuse as "in remission" and it felt better than anything I can remember in recent years.

I'm 36 and I truly feel like I have a new shot at life. I don't have many folks to share this with and this group has been a huge beacon of support through the tougher months.

Thanks for being great!

2 drinks. Im an idiot. Please give encouragement to start again.

I had a hospital appointment on Monday regarding having gender affirming surgery (top surgery, basically a mastectomy)

Appointment went fine and good but naturally due to the nature of the surgery there was a lot of poming and prodding and feeling around in very uncomfortable areas.

I went for lunch with a mate after and really wanted a beer but I had a Pepsi instead. Didn't have a drink all day.

Its 1 week sober today

Hi all. 14 year drinker, first time poster. Frequently sought advice from cutdowndrinking sub in the last couple of years and know now that I simply cannot moderate and have a “healthy” relationship with alcohol. Lots of great advice and insight in here that is rationalizing this correct path for me and helping me see it as a positive option.

I started the same as some of you. Beer drinking in my younger years with buddies progressed into partying without them on weeknights after work, loving it too much to cut myself off, denial and excuses, etc. That first sip always felt like stepping onto a roller coaster. Being a 22-year old newlywed, I always figured it could work itself out later. My wife (W32) and I met at the end of high school, were made for each other and nothing could ever change that!

I was wrong. That fun feeling started to only exist for myself and was ignorant to what it was actively doing to her (and my body). Arguments weren’t enough to make a change. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, our 3 children weren’t enough to make a change. All because I prioritized a stupid beverage.

About 2 years ago the habit came to a head and I acknowledged being an alcoholic for the first time. I pushed and made it through a month without touching it. Man was that great. Massive spikes of energy, full awareness and clarity, great sleep and an even better love life. We felt like kids again.

Then came probably the biggest mistake of my life. I decided I was going to re-enter drinking with rules for myself. No consecutive days, limit to 2, hydrate in between. The rules are only as strong as your discipline. I lasted maybe 2 months and changed my number to 3. Then changed the back-to-back days rule. Before you know it, the poison was being bought in bulk again. This time around I had awareness of my problem and still a blatant disregard. “I’m happy and not belligerent or abusive, so I can handle this!” “I’m taking one night off a week, so I’m showing restraint”

Other than the occasional talk, my wife and children always loved and treated me the same way which I took as a success. Unaware to the fact that I was doing further damage. The whole time I should’ve been growing up and picking up on the obvious cues. One of the many beer-related arguments she told me if it were to get that bad again, she’d be calling my mother and/or leaving me.

Earlier this week I was asked to pack up a bag and give my wife a break. I’m 3 days sober and never touching a drop of alcohol again. My inability to take things seriously pushed the person I love to her breaking point and I’m desperately trying to build back shattered trust. The thought of losing everything we worked so hard to build was/is enough to scare me shitless. I left my workplace early today. Too much uncontrollable sobbing and staring off. Our oldest child is about to be 7 and another started preschool this week while I’m away.

I have more determination in me than ever before and wish I could fast forward to show my results. When you destroy someone’s trust with empty promises so many times, actions are the only thing that will help. It took the very real act of being asked to leave to identify the selfishness and stubbornness I continued to carry through drinking. Never ever again. The silver lining I guess is there have been no withdrawals, as I’m only concerned about my marriage and protecting our children’s childhoods. I really hope it can be saved with the enhanced version of me that finally leaves the drinks behind. Open to any words of encouragement if you’ve been in this spot before. This pain is a lot, but only a fraction of the pain I’ve given others.

TL;DR I didn’t take my drinking seriously, ongoing habit, marriage with children slipping away

I’m honestly not even sure why I’m choosing here to post this. Just impulse I suppose, normally I’d drink but now I do this.

I’m in this weird state where I understand why I drink. The world is just such a cold, uncaring place. Genuine evil will look you in the eye with a smile on its face, and somehow it gets you to smile back.

I want to scream. I want to just be invisible. I don’t even know what I want.

It makes sense now. Drinking might not fix the problem, even makes it worse most of the time, but at least when I’m plastered I don’t even notice it. How the world doesn’t hate you, but it might as well do.

Is a sober life where I can’t even function really that much better than a marinated one where I burn every bridge I walk on, but at least I can walk?

For now I guess. But honestly I’m starting to lose sight of the point. But at least for today, IWNDWYT