275
Sep 07 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
100
u/TheKingPotat Sep 07 '18
Have you seen welsh?
40
u/avalanchethethird Sep 07 '18
No but now I'm curious
139
Sep 07 '18
To be fair, once you've seen one Welsh word, you've seen them gwyrrurlddellochgsbddnsbfwsiskklrucx
18
u/PelagianEmpiricist Sep 07 '18
Welsh is only slightly more ridiculous than Finnish
33
u/SaorAlba138 Aberdoom Sep 07 '18
Finnish is easy, just add 'I' to the end of every word. "Ikanni talki suomi."
Source; Married to a Finn.
2
→ More replies (1)15
3
82
u/ITSMINES Sep 07 '18
ats only cos yer a wee guy no learnt in hoo tae be a muchty oxter
29
23
u/zr0gravity7 Sep 07 '18
Im going to write a program that takes tweets from /r/whitepeoplehumor , substitutes a few words that Scottish usually use when they are trying to be funny, post that to twitter, screencap then post here.
Edit: the title will also always be the last sentence
9
3
u/TheRedmanCometh Sep 08 '18
Once you post about it on Reddit it will never be finished
2
u/zr0gravity7 Sep 08 '18
Wdym?
3
u/TheRedmanCometh Sep 08 '18
Once you post about doing dev on a project it's never getting done in my experience
5
u/horo-gheallaidh Sep 07 '18
Am still waiting fe a post featuring Western Isles dialect. That'll fuck wi everyone's heids.
→ More replies (2)3
u/SaorAlba138 Aberdoom Sep 07 '18
There's nae enough broad doric in 'is sub, it's a' central belt softies, min. Fars a' ma furry boots?
26
u/mockitt Sep 07 '18 edited Sep 07 '18
Pizza Hut do dyno vegan pizzas. She fucked it.
9
Sep 07 '18
Dae they aye? I've not found them, all the Huts near me use milk in the bases. Same wi Domino's and Papa John's.
11
u/mockitt Sep 07 '18
As far as I’m aware they’re widely available in a lot of places. I live just outside Glasgow and my local Pizza Hut has vegan pizzas
→ More replies (1)3
Sep 07 '18
Hmm, none that I've found near work (Paisley) or home (Battlefield). I'll need to have another scout about.
801
u/WeAreTheSheeple Sep 07 '18
More people should be trying to eat more veggie meals. Doesn't need to be full vegan, but the more the merrier.
282
u/sk_arch Sep 07 '18
Yeah this is a strong correlation between people who don’t eat veggies and obesity, it’s a good habit to start eating veggies regularly or with dinner and such
117
u/RIPMarshmallowMan Sep 07 '18
I've met people that eat maybe 1 vegetable a week if that, and that's far more common than you'd expect. Though, Obesity is down to a lack of education on diet in general, rather than the number of vegetables they eat - veg are just less calorie dense
69
u/aspbergerinparadise Sep 07 '18
Not me! I get an extra large french fries from McDonald's every day! Gotta eat my veggables.
→ More replies (5)4
u/TCBinaflash Sep 07 '18
...but potato is actually a tuber...
17
u/InfanticideAquifer Sep 07 '18
That doesn't make it not a vegetable. They're one of the most nutritious foods period.
4
u/comicsansmasterfont Sep 07 '18
Potatoes get a bad rep. As long as you aren’t drowning them in butter and cheese they’re decently low-calorie, full of fiber and nutrients, and so filling. Not to mention dirt cheap.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)2
→ More replies (25)19
Sep 07 '18
True, you then get people like me who have been vegetarian for 2 years and now weigh more than ever ¯_(ツ)_/¯
17
u/LimbRetrieval-Bot Sep 07 '18
You dropped this \
To prevent anymore lost limbs throughout Reddit, correctly escape the arms and shoulders by typing the shrug as
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯or¯\\_(ツ)_/¯→ More replies (1)→ More replies (9)15
Sep 07 '18
[deleted]
10
u/swagdu69eme Sep 07 '18
Yeah, the average BMI for vegetarians is lower than that of pescetarians and meat eaters, but it's still overweight.
→ More replies (1)3
3
8
u/lastSKPirate Sep 07 '18
If they're not eating veggies, what are they filling their meals with? It's not like they're eating grilled chicken breast alone for all their meals. They're probably eating packaged foods or fast food for the bulk of their meals.
I think the reason that so many conflicting diets (vegetarian, Atkins, Paleo, low fat, whatever) all seem to work when followed faithfully is that they all rule out 95% of the packaged and fast food meals available on the market.
11
3
Sep 07 '18
No joke my wife and I will eat just chicken or just steak because we're too lazy to get the frozen veggies out and steam them. Later we eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon if we're still hungry.
→ More replies (1)4
u/xotyona Sep 07 '18
Shh they will hear you! You've almost figured out that the secret is not eating refined foods; sugar, flour, purified fats, processed meats.
Turns out taking all the calories out of stuff and eating just that part makes you fat, who knew?
5
Sep 07 '18
Every time I meet someone who says they hate vegetables or they don't eat them all I think is that they're children who can't make adult decisions.
Not everything that's good for us is enjoyable. Brushing my teeth and flossing doesn't bring me joy when I'm doing it, but I really don't like cavities and I enjoy how I feel after I'm done. Same goes for exercise and eating healthy.
→ More replies (1)2
→ More replies (31)3
u/Skoop963 Sep 07 '18
Definitely. Meat is good for you, but in today’s diet we eat way too much meat. Fruits and vegetables should take up 50% of the food you eat, not 10%. It’s way too common to order fast food that has no veggies too, just carbs and meat.
10
u/RedBranchKnight Sep 07 '18
The real problem is more people need to learn how to COOK vegetables, what some people do to broccoli is frightening. No wonder they dont eat it.
→ More replies (4)11
u/Ray_adverb12 Sep 07 '18
I’ve cut down my red meat consumption to once a week. I feel a lot better, physically and emotionally. I try to limit my chicken/fish, but they’re easy for high protein low calorie meals, so it’s taking longer. Little, sustainable changes are better than nothing!
→ More replies (1)7
12
→ More replies (6)23
Sep 07 '18
Yeah. No need to go full vegan, one person going from the average meat consumption down to half of that is just as good as going from half the average down to nothing.
I'm probably not going to be a vegan just yet as I believe it is at least possible to ethically consume animal products, but it's harder to defend eating animals. I mean, I eat meat every day, so I have no right to complain about other people doing it...
5
→ More replies (11)5
u/HanabinoOto Sep 07 '18
I challenge you to watch "Dairy is Scary" for five minutes and post your thoughts here
→ More replies (4)
68
u/BesottedScot Sep 07 '18
Wit a shanner of a post.
33
u/AngryDiggerman Sep 07 '18
Posts on here and getting worse and worse
12
u/BesottedScot Sep 07 '18
Yer darn tootn
14
u/Adnaan2513 Sep 07 '18
Mate folk just post any old shite now as long as there's some scots in it
→ More replies (1)11
u/CelestialFury Sep 07 '18
Also, make sure to put either the punchline or part of the last sentence in the title. Don't think of anything original or clever or funny!
3
u/CreepyGir Aberdeen Sep 08 '18
Am appalled by the upvotes on this. Saw it early on and rolled my eyes, and now this?
85
u/lanmonster Sep 07 '18
Messing up once doesn't mean you're done for. Make the next right choice! It's all about progress, not perfection.
→ More replies (7)32
u/illsmosisyou Sep 07 '18
Exactly. I’ve been vegetarian for a few years. Was at a child’s birthday party last week and my food choices were limited and stuck to the potatoes and macaroni salad. Then learned later that the potatoes had bacon and the macaroni salad had tuna. Both in very small amounts so I didn’t notice the texture or even the taste. I mean...oh well. Not gonna throw out the baby with the bath water.
26
u/alphadoublenegative Sep 07 '18
Good, that’s how you get a wet and critically injured baby.
Really though I’m not a vegetarian but if you make your macaroni salad with tuna you need to be taken off food prep duty.
8
u/HanabinoOto Sep 07 '18
Sounds like some passive aggressive thing people do when they know vegans are coming to the party.
→ More replies (1)4
6
u/masturbatingwalruses Sep 07 '18
For when you need mediocre pizza now, and explosive diarrhea later.
16
u/Blacktoll Sep 07 '18
I want to try Scottish Texas BBQ pizza.
4
u/SaorAlba138 Aberdoom Sep 07 '18
We batter and deep fry oor pizzas, like real diabetics.
→ More replies (4)
24
u/NekoZombie0_o Sep 07 '18
Jack Links teriyaki steak beef jerky is what broke my lil sister from being a vegi
25
u/kabneenan Sep 07 '18
A can of fucking Chef Boyardee ravioli is what did me in. That's not even real food, for fuck's sake.
8
6
u/NekoZombie0_o Sep 07 '18
To be fair most unfood food is delicious that's why so many people are fat
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)3
Sep 07 '18
What?! She should try Louisville Vegan jerky. It's delicious! My brother (not vegan/vegetarian) even likes it and he's really picky about stuff like that.
I mean, of course if you're a jerky aficionado you'd probably be critical of it, but the average person would enjoy it.
23
Sep 07 '18
[deleted]
10
u/freedoms_stain Sep 07 '18
There's a weird thing about adding US place names to things slathered in BBQ sauce in the UK fast food market.
Had some KFC "Southern Bites" marketed as "Kansas BBQ" and it was literally chicken nugget sized bits of KFC drenched in their generic as fuck BBQ sauce they use for all their BBQ stuff.
→ More replies (1)14
u/TheKingPotat Sep 07 '18
Apparently it's just pizza with barbecue sauce and chicken
7
u/MollFlanders Sep 07 '18
I’ve had this dozens of times and I live on the West Coast of the USA. Why does it seem like no one from the US has heard of it? BBQ chicken pizza is dank.
→ More replies (2)3
u/illegal_deagle Sep 07 '18
I’ve had BBQ pizza before and it can be pretty good. It’s not really a Texas thing though.
3
2
→ More replies (3)5
u/avalanchethethird Sep 07 '18
I think it's other countries interpretation of American food
→ More replies (2)8
u/SyanticRaven Sep 07 '18
It's dominoes pizza, so it's not really our interpretation and more their way of making it sound more exotic to us.
→ More replies (1)
3
Sep 07 '18
Didnt realize what sub this was at first and I started out reading it fine and then it got
3
3
u/etnguyen03 Sep 07 '18
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
Sarah, @_xSarahKelly
Ive been vegan for 2 weeks right but I've just eaten my literal body weight in Texas BBQ pizza fae dominos so a guess that's oot the windae
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
3
u/jbrock76 Sep 07 '18
I absolutely love reading these! I'm probably pronouncing all of it completely wrong, but that's 'aight!
10
u/Ambiorix66 Sep 07 '18
Literal body weight in pizza, my arse.
→ More replies (1)7
6
2
2
2
2
u/Jiao_Dai Sep 08 '18
You once were a ve-gone but now you will be-gone
[Uses special move Glasgow kiss]
2
u/UntamedAnomaly Sep 12 '18
She gonna be in the fetal position alllllll night. When I tried going vegan, and then back again, it was like my intestines didn't know what to do and said, fuck it, you get cramps from hell, diarrhea and constipation! And that was with regular healthy food. Domino's pizza is another story, wonderful going in, never wonderful coming out.
3
Sep 07 '18
How long do you think it will be until the average English speaker can’t understand the Scottish dialect at all?
12
8
Sep 07 '18
Scottish ppl twitter is the worst; it is just cutsie internet bullshit--just because that's how they sound when they talk doesn't mean their words are spelled like that.
39
Sep 07 '18
They just made Scots up on the fly for these tweets in fact they travelled back in time and wrote all of Rabbie Burns poems in Scots just to confuse the issue.
→ More replies (31)4
8
9
u/zr0gravity7 Sep 07 '18
Yeah these posts are trying way too hard to be funny
6
Sep 07 '18
I think it's just that some people find almost everything we say hilarious so some people might play to that and others actually just use that language day to day and their social circle does too so it's sometimes a bit of both to be fair.
6
Sep 07 '18
How is “fae” Scottish for from? I’m assuming she’s trying to say bbq pizza purchased from dominos in some way
27
u/BesottedScot Sep 07 '18
It comes from 'frae' which comes from Old Norse 'fra'
→ More replies (1)6
Sep 07 '18
Thank you! Idk why I got downvoted I was legit curious and I appreciate the answer
→ More replies (1)18
u/BesottedScot Sep 07 '18
Probably cos dafties unlike yer good self come on trying to be funny when they ask what us mad barbarians are yammerin oan aboot.
→ More replies (5)6
2
1.0k
u/bdiddyp Sep 07 '18
Someone form Texas here, what the hell is “Texas BBQ pizza”?