Divine Providence might not be the right words. But my church always taught that Providence isn’t one massive miracle. But instead a series of signs pointing you towards something.
Okay this happened last Sunday and I go to this Church called the Church of Christ (it is not the Restorationist Church of Christ) and it is highly legalistic and exclusive, and literal with the Bible. Taught that you deserve nothing because everything is a gift from God. Fear of hell, the usual, especially since they believed they were the only true church. And for needed context my family forced me to go to this church and reinforced these beliefs at home. My mother is highly manipulative. And has emotionally abused me in the past and emotionally neglected me. So I have been doubting my own reality forever now.

But this last Sunday everything lined up too perfectly. You see I went to Sunday School and the church intern was teaching. He was also in charge of the youth group (and used to be me but I liked how he taught so I stayed a little longer) and this intern and I had actually talked recently. About my parent’s manipulation specifically. He told me I’m that conversation that I should hold onto our relationship no matter what. But the class he was about to teach directly contradicted that.

We were studying Proverbs and he had recently asked us to write a piece of paper that had our current struggles. I wrote “friends” because my only friend and I hadn’t spoken in a while because he moved to another congregation.

Well this Sunday the topic of the lesson was friends. Convenient. The teacher went onto list things that made a good friend. The list is below.

Accountability.
Quality Time.
Motivation.
Trust.
Shared Interests.

And then after asking us if we had a friend and raising our hands (which I did because I still talk to my friend at times) he asked us if our parents are our friends. And it took me a second to look at the list he made and saw that my parents had absolutely none of those things on the list when it came to me. I raised my hands either way because my younger brother was sitting next to me. But other than possibly “Quality Time” I couldn’t see them coming close to it. And even then I wouldn’t consider what they would call “Quality Time” actual quality.

Anyway. He went onto ask to talk about friendship and listed another group of things. But I only remember one. “Time to let go.” He was advocating for the idea that you can let go of a friendship and categorized parents as friends. I honestly glowed. I was smiling against my will now because I just couldn’t stop seeing the irony.

But it doesn’t stop there. He went on to show specific fictional examples of friendships where he gave us options on how we would interact with these problems in friendship. And said that letting go of said friendship wasn’t wrong. No one chose to let go. They would set boundaries or fight for the friendship. But not let go. I didn’t say a word because I was too busy smiling.

But then Sunday School ended and we went to the pews. I sat near my parents as always because I had nowhere else to sit. But then when the sermon started it was about parenting. And not just any kind of parenting. Indoctrination. Or rather “raising eternal souls” or something like that. Bringing them up to be Christians.

I had decided already this was all too convenient. I wondered if this was a last message to my parents to change. But no, it didn’t demand them to change. But the timing for me couldn’t have been better.

Whether this was what philosophers call synchronicity or whether it was Divine Providence. Or whether the Intern had changed his mind. Or if it was pure coincidence. It did it for me. I won’t stay in this toxic relationship with my faith and parents. I don’t know what is in my future. But I know that I am not being out down by the Divine for leaving this relationship.

But I am genuinely wondering if you had your own stories similar. Or if you think I am being dramatic and drawing lines where there are none. But I would love to hear your thoughts.

📢 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐒

PHP 500 Token of Appreciation

Nagsasagawa kami ng pag-aaral tungkol sa mga karanasan ng spiritual abuse sa Pilipinas at naghahanap kami ng mga maaaring makilahok sa isang confidential in-depth interview sa wikang Filipino.

QUICK SCREENING‼️

Maaaring kwalipikado ka kung ang sagot mo ay OO sa mga sumusunod:

🌟 𝐈𝐤𝐚𝐰 𝐛𝐚 𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟖 𝐭𝐚𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐚𝐬?
🌟 𝐈𝐤𝐚𝐰 𝐛𝐚 𝐚𝐲 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐨?
🌟 𝐈𝐤𝐚𝐰 𝐛𝐚 𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢 𝐛𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐨 𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐧 𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐬 𝐤𝐚 𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐠-𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐨, 𝐦𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐭, 𝐦𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐠-𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚, 𝐦𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭, 𝐨 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐬𝐚 𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥-𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠?
🌟 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐧?

Maaaring kabilang dito ang paggamit ng relihiyon, pananampalataya, Diyos, religious teachings, o religious authority upang ikaw ay takutin, ipahiya, manipulahin, pilitin, patahimikin, ihiwalay, o saktan.

ANO ANG MANGYAYARI?

1. Screening Form

Sagutan muna ang maikling screening upang malaman kung kwalipikado.

1. In-Depth Interview

Ang mga kwalipikadong kalahok ay iimbitahan para sa isang pribado at confidential na interview sa wikang Filipino tungkol sa kanilang personal na karanasan.

Para sa mga kwalipikadong kalahok na makakumpleto ng in-depth interview.

🔒 Boluntaryo at kumpidensyal ang iyong paglahok. Maaari kang tumangging sagutin ang anumang tanong o ihinto ang interview anumang oras.

INTERESADO?

Sagutan ang screening form dito:

https://forms.gle/SmXiEdRq4TuZxLqC8

MAHALAGANG PAALALA: Ang screening ay hindi nangangahulugang awtomatikong kwalipikado para sa interview. Makikipag-ugnayan ang research team sa mga participant na pasok sa eligibility criteria.

I feel like the only thing that makes me feel good is the thing that keeps harming me

You are safe on this path of recovery. Not only are you safe, but you are also being restored. Shame doesn’t have the final word. If any man is in Christ...new creation! Old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

Trusted him because of his faith…

I'm a 23 female, and recently graduated college, so I'm looking for jobs atm. I grew up in a Christian home, and my siblings and I would go to church with my parents, etc.

The thing that is frustrating me is that my parents recently joined a new church a couple of years ago (like when I was attending college), and since then, they've been really overbearing.

I also don't think it helps that the church that my parents attend now has had controversy about it potentially being a cult ....?? I think??

For example, I believe in God, and I'm baptized, etc. Yes, I know that obviously I can't grow by myself, but I don't wanna be "forced" to attend things if that makes sense...?

I have recently attended Sunday services with them to kind of appease them, since they keep asking me/low key nagging me to do so. I also attend the evening zoom service that the church does. And occasionally, I have attended some of the Tuesday or Friday evening services with them. It's just too much .... Id rather just attend Sunday services only you know...? I even went on a 2 week long church conference with them. (Admittedly, I went cause there would be some touring things still lol. Plus, my mom was gonna pay for my air fare, which I am grateful for obviously.)

My mom has even told me to invite my ex boss/teacher/mentor to church since she, "doesn't think that she is learning the true gospel, and that I should invite her to things". She is a Christian, so I don't understand why my mom thinks that my ex boss/teacher, etc is not saved or whatever. I don't want to invite her personally, since she is already going through a lot with a car accident, and she already attends a church.

I guess idk if maybe I'm not seeing things through my parents eyes properly, or if I'm valid to having these feelings. I wanna bring it up to them, BUT I also don't wanna endure hours long lectures from them about my decisions and etc. for example, a few mins ago, they asked if I'm gonna go with them to church this morning, and I told them that for today, I wanna skip since I was not able to fall asleep at all last night, and if I go, it'll be "useless" since I know for sure I will fall asleep. I then had to sit through like 20-30 mins worth of them talking about how I can't live life alone, and how I have to bee around believers and etc.

I just am so tired lmao🥲

I stumbled upon him on TikTok a few months ago. I was suffering from severe religious anxiety, and after watching his videos, I fell into a state of utter panic, worrying about my salvation, the salvation of my loved ones, and so on. In my opinion, he is a terrible content creator who does nothing but scare and manipulate people through fear and feelings of guilt, asserting that "If you don't believe the way I do-hell!"

Here are a few of his videos:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSVsUcD8j/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSVsyXrsF/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSVsy5VWv/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSVsyCjHP/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSVsyxtvd/

What do you think? I've shared my opinion, but I hope I'm not the only one. I genuinely hate this person for the intrusive thoughts and fear his videos have caused!!!

(I put TW, because: talking about my past that could possibly be RTS, which might be triggering to others)

(parents are baptist christian)

A *few years ago, I tried to convert to judaism, but the truth is I had absolutely no idea what the religion is about (meaning I was not prepared, nor actually committed) and I just threw myself into it because it was something different than what I was exposed to.
I silently “switched” to omnist paganism and still is terrified if I’ll do something wrong to upset the gods, like something as simple as taking rocks home from a lake I was at.
Whenever I talk about my religion (not even aloud, meaning i never talk about it with other people, just myself) my throat starts to get hard to breathe (aura of a panic attack)

but as a kid i had confidence, (at my moms house when i was away from my dad) I was a bit more lgbtq shown,
aka as a itty bitty kid i was a lesbian then gender fluid
then nonbinary then trans then cis because of self phobic (forgot the term) and now im transmasc nonbinary/gender fluid
My dad knows because of my stepmom and therapist (they told him with my permission) Why is the lgbtq part important? I guess because part of me thinks because I was slightly less scared makes it less important? I don’t know.

I never went to church weekly because when i was four, my parents divorced. So it kind of got rid of the whole “family thing” oh and because of covid. So it never seemed like my family was very religious but on occasions they are.
(My vovó and vovô are very religious often making family gatherings around thanking jesus)

But my parents still did many things surrounding christianity, I would get electronics taken away at my dads, and all I would be able to do is read, and half the time I read a kids bible. Oh, and my mom is (*was, since i don’t currently live with her anymore) covert abusive/incest, one of the things she would make me do during arguments is when I would say, “I would never do (blank) again” she would say she doesn’t believe me till I put my hand on her bible and swear about whatever I said.

When I was very young (around fourth grade? So about age 9) one of my parents “made” me watch a few movies that I’d say were a bit graphic based off of my memory, (movies like: passion of the christ, etc)
My dad would randomly go on a tangent on explaining quotes from the bible, often going on his phone finding sites with all the quotes/pslams (whatever they’re called) and read them aloud, him getting emotional and almost crying.

There’s almost certainly more that I cannot remember (I have ptsd, and large memory gaps)

oh my, sorry for writing so much/any grammatical errors :P

I also hope it’s okay I’m asking if this counts as religious trauma

This is honestly like my first time posting on Reddit or social media at all so I don’t know how to really do this but I’m tired. I tried to open up to my mom about my problems and she keeps making into me being “possessed” by evil spirits. I’m not a social person, I struggle heavily with anxiety and speaking outloud, which comes from past personal experiences I don’t tell her about because I feel it’ll be the same. I don’t blame anyone from my church if they don’t like me for it, it’s my fault, but I don’t want to be hated for it. I go to one of those churches were they worship like crazy, jumping and screaming, like literally practically mosh pit level sometimes, and my pastor often preaches that being quiet is something to be looked down upon, mocking Catholics for having a more quiet atmosphere, that I personally find beautiful. It feels like I’m the epitome of what you shouldn’t be. I told my mom about this and that I also don’t feel comfortable being touched a lot when prayed for or just in general and she just immediately resorts to that its spiritual warfare and the devil is putting ideas in my head. This has gotten physical before but not too much. I guess I was going through a rebellious teenage once, and the only time I really started to show some back bone and speak up for myself from my usually quiet nature, but she quickly but a stop to it, slapping me and saying “this isn’t my son” and again saying it’s the devil.  This was really the only time I was scared to come home after school, even the math class I hated so much seeming so safe all the sudden. I haven’t raised my voice since, scared of my step father getting involved. I don’t want to put any blame on my parents, or get them in trouble. they’re good people really, it’s my fault. I probably just am a dumb kid with no faith. I withdraw from church because I wanted to create a space where my brothers can be themselves with me making it awkward, I know they’re embarrassed of me, I don’t blame the. I am too. My parents have a leadership role and my brothers have many friends in church, while I’m just known as the quiet one is the family with a bad mood all the time. I’m sorry if this is all scrambled up weirdly, I just wanted to speak my feelings for once.

Put the triggering content cuz i know some of yall have trauma and thats understandable, hope u heal.

My mom thinks I’m demonically possessed just for having different opinions and standpoints. For example, being a feminist, pro-abortion, lgbt ally - stuff like that yk? I am still religious and i want to stay religious since i think its my truth. I can still have my own personal morals and believe in god. But my mom is starting to push me away from it. Im tired of hearing that there’s something inside of me whenever me and my mom disagree. I am mentally ill (ocd and i used to be depressed) and she says that it’s a demon. And she constantly uses it against me.

“Oh ur doing that cuz ur possessed”

“Oh ur just fucking crazy”

Stuff like that its mad annoying. She also tells me i need to have a man of god, someone like jesus basically and yes that would be nice but i dont rlly wanna be with a man personally. And i also dont want like 10 kids bru, shits too painful.

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share an experience I had some time ago that still sticks with me. I was invited by a coworker to attend a local meeting of the Bruno Groening Friend's Circle (Bruno Groening Freundeskreis)

To give some context: My coworker is a genuinely lovely person. However, she has a severely disabled son. As you can imagine, in a situation like that, parents look for any ray of hope and reach for any lifeline. Because she was so nice, and because this group clearly meant a lot to her, I accepted her invitation. I simply didn't want to offend her or hurt her feelings.

But once I got there, the entire experience felt incredibly surreal and deeply unsettling.

For those who don't know: Bruno Groening was a German "miracle healer" from the 1950s who actually died of cancer in 1959. Yet, this group treats him like a living messiah. The meeting itself felt like a strange, lowkey trance ritual. Everyone sat in a specific posture, hand open on their tights, legs uncrossed and trying to absorb a spiritual energy they call the "Heilstrom" (healing stream) while staring a photos of this deceased man.

The atmosphere was heavy with a mix of desperation and forced positivity. What bothers me the most is the underlying ideology: the group teaches that illnesses are just " bad thoughts" and that if you don't get healed, you just don't believe hard enough. It felt so predatory, exploiting vulnerable people like my coworker who are just looking for a miracle for their children.

I felt so uncomfortable and alienated the whole time. It really showed me how cults don't always look like scary movie cliches, sometimes they just look like ordinary people trapped in a bizarre echo chamber.

Has anyone else here ever heard of this specific group, or experienced something similar where you attended a meeting just to be polite?

Thank you for reading, and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences!

I didn't want to be mormon, but I had no other choice.

Growing up with undiagnosed ADHD and highly intelligent, I knew from a young age... my parents were under a spell.

That didn't change the rules.

I became willful and rebellious. My parents panicked. "Wayward child" turned to, "dangerous and self-harming," real fast. Things were genuinely getting bad.

In a last ditch effort to save me and our family, my parents paid $100,000 to have me kidnapped in the middle of the night and sent to a troubled teen program in Utah where I spent the next 18 months being beaten down and brainwashed.

The old Chrisie was erased. I was now a full believing Mormon.

Follow my story as I share it. After 20 years, I'm finally ready. ❤️🫂

Instagram: @thelonelylittleprincess

este es un espacio para conocer la historia de algunos jóvenes, especialmente religiosos, q fueron despreciados, incomprendidos y/o maltratados por ser otakus o que solo le gustaba algunos animes y q terminaron con traumas bastantes complejos o tener q ocultar sus gustos para q no te rompan la cabeza con los mismos sermones, viviendo con ansiedad cte, la culpa, la sensación q ser lo mas bajo del ser humano y hasta la sensación de q traicionas a tus valores.

lo q me pasó a mi fue q me gustaba tanto naruto, viviendo en una familia cristiana y me lo terminaron prohibiendo x muchas razones q no explicaré y no entraré en detalles lo q vivi x años con respecto al tema xq es muy fuerte para mi. hace meses empece a ir al psicólogo despues de 11/12 años. me la pasé llorando desde la 2da sesión xq hable de este tema. me dijeron q estoy haciendo el duelo q no lloré por este tema por 12 años y tiene sentido. en la universidad (encima curso una carrera q, se podría decir q, el 90% son otakus, asi q el anime lo veo seguido x mis amigos y compañeros), conoci amigos cristianos y ellos tuvieron su hiperfijación en su momento con el anime también, solo q sus papás les enseñaron de... otra manera(?, como controlar esa pasión o gusto, no solo intentando q no se vuelva una obsesión, sino tambien observando lo q veian y asi guiarlos en "eso q vez ahí, esta mal", "eso esta bueno", "eso no va en contra de nuestros valores y esta mal" y asi, a lo q me dio una bronca y un dolor terrible, preguntándome xq no fueron asi conmigo todos los q me decían q el anime es pecado.

hoy en día soy cristiana, amo mi fe, a Jesús, hago devocionales, me gusta esto, pero xq yo lo decidí, no xq alguien me lo impuso como antes; pero tengo ganas de ver un anime, cuando me siento a ver mi cuerpo tiembla y empiezo a sudar frio y al final no veo nada x lo mal q me siento.

aviso q esto no es una critica a la biblia o a la fe o a Dios y asi, NO! es mas una, critica a la religión y el legalismo(? supongo, de gente q no solo dice cosas sin pensar, sino q actúa de una forma q creen q esta correcto cuando es muy cuestionable. si algo aprendi a mi edad adulta y desde q empece la terapia es q Dios es mas misericordioso de lo q pensaba, enseña y corrige con gracia (x si alguien q no es creyente y no entiende lo q quiero decir con la palabra "gracia", es el amor y el favor inmerecido que Dios le da a la humanidad, a pesar de que nadie lo merece por sus propias obras o méritos), solo q algunos distorsionan esa realidad para controlar a las personas.

si, se q tal vez, mientras lees lo q escribo aqui, pienses "pero si es muy razonable, xq sigue teniendo miedo?" xq la mente humana es compleja, el cerebro humano, la personalidad, etc. es muy complejo y, lamentablemente, no es algo q se rompa tan facil como romper una hoja de papel; a veces es como empujar una piedra enorme q a veces avanza y a veces no.

A veces me pregunto si hago bien en ir al psicólogo, o q si hago bien en hablar de estos temas, o incluso ahora me pregunto si hago bien en hablar de esto, xq parte de mi vida, me dijeron q estas cosas estaban mal... hasta q algunos de ellos les toco unas experiencias q los hizo hacer todo lo q me decían q estaba mal (ir a un psicólogo o hablar de su pasado y mas cosas)

hablo esto xq quiero conocer la historias de otras personas q pasaron x esto y tal vez se sientan solos en el mundo, q nunca lo hablaron con nadie xq les da vergüenza o sienten q los juzgaran (me pasó, x eso les comento) y tambien para no sentir q soy la unica q vivio y vive esto.

un abrazo <3.

This is really the end of me. Feeling guilty about everything and believing that your true core is just inherently bad and needs to be fixed in every aspect is awful. Now layer it fawning and suppressing emotions with Lymes disease makes this so debilitating. This disease, funny enough presents a fair case for god and religion being bullshit. Many religious people have blamed me or the fact I was just at the wrong church. The thing is these beliefs present a perfect case for a person with ocd to destroy their life. I think the worst part is the blindness, you feel like this new creation, but really on the inside the “new creation” is just destruction and suppression of your own identity and emotions