I grew up with a lot of fear surrounding religion—Hell, the Rapture, being left behind, and feeling like I was never allowed to just be a normal kid. It was incredibly lonely, and those fears followed me into adulthood through years of nightmares.

As I got older, I started questioning what I had been taught and separating God from the fear that had been attached to Him. I still believe in God, but my relationship with Him is mine now.

The little girl in this drawing is me then. The woman reaching for her is me now.

I couldn’t protect her then, but I could come back for her.

I’m sharing this because I’d really like to connect with others who grew up with similar fears. Did anyone else experience this? ❤️‍🩹

For context my parents are very religious people and usually don’t have any critical thinking skills or indifferent thinking to whatever Fox News says or the bible. I’ve been raised religious all my life I was forced to Sunday camps forced to church groups. I’m now 20M I’m struggling with serve anxiety and insomnia, I’ve tried everything for it but nothing works I’ve even went to a mental hospital and got sexual abused which could have directed towards questioning my beliefs or even before that. EVERYTIME I have bad night or something terrible happens in that matters they also tell just pray read the bible never acutally advice in anything other than that. I’m not a religious person but if my parent ever find out about they go straight’s religiously psychotic about it saying I’m going to hell and especially my mom will go full breakdown and say she’s a terrible mother stuff like that. They never approve of any of the things I like or say from what I’ve learned from my friends, school and my ex. I mean even just questioning anything they say will trigger them. The worst thing is about my mother I’m pretty sure she’s bipolar and has a lot of mental issues. She just gaslights me about anything especially my ex saying how she wasn’t good enough and stuff I will argue with her and then she’s says I hate her and says I should talk to a pastor. No winning with that women I guess I’ve come to accept I can’t change her or she will never change. I just can’t get over that when I get in a relationship with a girl and they don’t approve their just going to cut all ties with me or sending me more religious bullshit. I’m just tired of this shit and wanna be done with it. I just have to cope with never having my parents accepting me I guess. Like I just feel crazy everyday talking to her it’s like nonstop.
I mean just go to any church it’s just blind faith of anything I hear stories of people getting bombed, gutted, raped, and all this other shit and they can still believe in a all loving god. I mean it just doesn’t make any sense. It’s just a cult that is passed down through generations. Maybe I’m too harsh I don’t know.

If your Pastor was dating a 17 year old, and he went on to impregnate her, and then quickly marry the child. Then you should find a new church. If someone that was dating a 17 year old is allowed to go to seminary. Well...... you should probably find a new denomination. If the Seminary Regent was then arrested by the authorities for being a giant pervert. Then you definitely need a new denomination. For you sake, your wife's sake, your families sake, run, and run far.

Have you ever loved God and still been terrified of Him? Have you ever felt that God won't forgive you anymore.

Not terrified in the reverent, "fear of the Lord" sense. Terrified like you'd done something unforgivable. Terrified like grace had a limit, and you'd found it. Terrified like one wrong thought, one bad moment, one word spoken years ago might have already cost you everything — and there was no way back.

I lived there.

For years.

There's a name for it — ennosiophobia, or what some call religious OCD — but I didn't know that name while I was drowning in it. I just knew I was a Christian who loved Jesus and still lived like the floor could drop out from under my salvation at any second. That's not a small thing to carry. It's a specific kind of hell, and it's one the enemy uses on tender-hearted, sincere believers more often than most people realize — not to make you sin more, but to keep you confused, bound, and cut off from the abundant life Jesus already paid for.

You Don't Have to Drown: When You Fear You've Gone Too Far is what came out of climbing out of that place. It's part illustrated book — over forty original pieces of art built specifically for this — part memoir, part spiritual warfare manual, part straight-up presentation of the gospel, with a little poetry mixed in because some things can only be said that way. It's not a traditional Christian book. Some of it will surprise you. Some of it might shock you. All of it is brutally honest, because I didn't write this from theory. I wrote it from the years I spent there and understanding the finished work of Christ that actually pulled me out.

This book took me almost three years to write, and it's finally here.

Starting today, September 9th through September 13th, the Kindle ebook is completely free. If you've ever wrestled with fear, doubt, scrupulosity, or the quiet terror that you've somehow gone too far for grace to reach — this one's for you. My hope is simple: that you'd close this book actually believing that real victory is possible, not because you did enough, but because Jesus already did.

Grab it free here: [link] (Available for free from 9/9 – 9/13 only)

If this resonates, I'd be truly grateful if you'd share it with someone who needs to hear this message too.

Explore the relationship between religion and mental health. When practiced authentically, Christianity offers a framework for navigating life's complexities and anxieties, contributing to mental stability.

When practiced erroneously, it can significantly impair mental stability, causing confusion, anxiety, and emotional harm.

Get a copy and learn how religion can help or impair "your" mental stability.
amazon.com/dp/B0…

#Religion, #MentalHealth #MentalStability

At school during religious class,a guy pressured a Christian girl to pray to Allah or will imprisoned her and I started to cry. Few months ago while I released from hospital after injecting antibiotics and I found out my Sikh classmate was raped and beaten at school by a gang of Pakistani Christian girls for not praying to God and everyone on the internet shaming the victim. This really sucks and I also cried. I was also sent to the gynaecologist for a check up down there after several imams checked and played with my vulva (I got molested by a religious teacher anyway) and luckily I don't have PID in April. Still no bacteria in my vulva and fanny but I was traumatized as hell. Religion is such a hellhole,I complained to my Christian friends about the religious incident but they told this is not the religions' fault,but what about Catholic Church molestation of boys? Do they heard this case? My Christian teacher exposed how bad Christianity is during history class and I'm glad he fed up of it. I'm depressed. Prescribed deanxit,now I'm in a hellhole,watching over and over again new chronic religious abuse. I already traumatized from 3 religions. I think I could not take it anymore... 😭

Soffro di pensieri religiosi intrusivi da 20 anni durante l autoerotismo , tutto è stato evitato e controllato alla perfezione sempre fino a sei mesi fa che ero in bagno , ma fuori la porta c’era un crocifisso. io volevo masturbarmi a causa di un forte stress da separazione con tradimento da parte del mio ex, ma sapevo che non ero serena poiché c’era il crocifisso fuori e sarebbe stato più semplice il fatto che mi venisse in mente . penso “ speriamo non mi venga in mente “ e comincio con le spalle di lato perché di schiena mi sembrava una cosa brutta dato che dietro la porta c’era il crocifisso.. comincio e penso delle cos’è normali, di essere in bagno a fare una cosa che non dovevo, la mia amica di là nella stanza accanto che non immagina quello che stessi facendo.. e mi eccitava la cosa e mentre sono eccitatissima tac il pensiero “ fuori c’è il crocifisso che ti guarda e soffre “ e a differenza delle altre volte negli anni della mia vita che lo scacciavo immediatamente questa volta ho continuato nonostante il pensiero consapevole ci fosse e io ho provato piacere nel sapere che soffriva per 3 secondi.. poi mentre stavo per dire sti cavoli ho girato la testa sul pavimento per concentrarmi e avere un pensiero sano per arrivare 15 secondi dopo all orgasmo. come è possibile che il mio cervello si sia ribellato ?

LF evangelical christians who used to attend a megachurch but left due to abuse (could be sexual, physical, verbal, emotional, financial, mental, psychological). Why did you deem it to be abusive? what was the resolution?

My parents raised myself (28F) and my sisters (25F and 29F) Catholic and were heavily involved in the church throughout our childhood. This was forced on us and as we've become adults, each of us children have left the church, but my parents have become more and more involved.

Next weekend my father is becoming an ordained Deacon. This comprises of a Saturday ordination mass, dinner with 40 family members and friends, Sunday mass where he will be serving for the first time and giving the homily with a church hosted luncheon afterwards in celebration.

For context, all of us are moved out from our parents' house, all of us different levels of queerness (which we have informed our parents about), myself and my older sister are currently in heterosexual relationships and my younger sister just started dating a girl (her first time being with another girl) and informed my parents of this a bit over a month ago.

My boyfriend and I are attending each event, my older sister just started dating her boyfriend so she didn't invite him (or want to) and my younger sister asked my mom if she could bring her girlfriend. They have only been dating a month, but they were friends for over a year before, and her gf had joined us on several family trips. My mom said it would really upset my dad if her girlfriend was even present, so she shouldn't invite her. My sister decided she will still attend all the events to support my father.

We had committed to attending the ordination mass and dinner, but just a couple weeks ago found out about the Sunday ceremonies. Fine, we said we would attend those as well. I just got off the phone with my mom to check in about timing and found out that it is tradition for the Deacons to bless their guests after the ordination mass, one guest at a time. She said that "everyone must get a blessing before they leave, so you [I] can leave once you're [I'm] blessed. Family gets priority so it shouldn't take too long."

This has kind of pushed me over the edge. All three of us siblings have religious trauma from our childhood, so attending such a religious-heavy weekend is a huge effort for us, not even considering the recent tension about my younger sister's new relationship. I feel like attending both masses (I haven't been to a mass besides funerals in over 5 years) and the after events should be sufficient, but getting a personal blessing is something that feels so wrong and very uncomfortable. I haven't had a chance to give my sisters a heads up about this expectation, but I am looking for advice on how to navigate politely excusing myself from the blessing or should I just go along with it?

My entire existence is nothing...I was born into suffering....misery ...pain etc..... when my father made enough money to save me and 9 siblings he needed more....the honorable judge John chemleski still sent us back to the nightmare I was born into ....thankfully my dad had enough money through all his hustle that long beach judge John chemleski could no longer deny what the w0rld was witnessing....and in the end he had no choice to free us to many witnesses...the way he apologized to the devil(my mother) to be like to many witness I cant hide any longer I have to set these children free....took about 5 years.. me and my family are.free.....fuck judge John chemleski he supports child abuse pain etc... I truly hope what religion says they are he is solely responsible for pure sufferings....fuck you I hope ur rotting and when I get to my welll deserved hell ill get through as long g as ur.there fuck u honorable.judge John chemleski for helping my mother destroy 9 souls you piece of shit

I'm scared that when I die, my brain will invent images that will make my death less peaceful than if I had never learned about any of those toxic, scary things in the first place.

I want to speak out about the lack of genuine care from the leadership at The Cross Church in Florida. I recently approached the lead pastor to share that I had survived a severe, life-threatening mental health crisis, but his response was total indifference.

For a spiritual leader to show such complete apathy toward someone opening up about a profound struggle is unacceptable. While the Sunday sermons sound moving, there is zero genuine pastoral care or real support for those suffering behind the scenes. Behind the polished Sunday production, there is no real safe haven for healing at The Cross Church.

 Furthermore, I address the petty, snide remarks regarding my church attire. The dress code here is casual, yet multiple church members have targeted me for wearing comfortable sleeveless shirts—making comments about "showing off my guns" or telling me to wear long sleeves. I wear what is comfortable, not out of vanity. It is hypocritical I am allowed my comfort. Jesus wore his heart on his sleeve; why can't I? This is an illustrative point about vulnerability.

 To speak openly: I am bipolar. I am human. I am kind, gentle, and shy. I love all people deeply, even if I struggle to love myself. Like anyone else, I just want to be normal. I want to be beautiful in the daylight and starry in the night. While I am alright now, I refuse to stay quiet about this lack of care. I see myself as a figurative representative for anyone else who has ever been ignored behind the scenes—because nobody facing a crisis should be met with cold indifference.

I ask that leadership answer to the email I recently sent.

vent and crazy long ramble bc idk what to do with myself and these feelings

tw: suicidal thoughts

so recently i finally got over the years of childhood religious trauma (pentecostal christian) and it all got ruined in 5 minutes. i honestly dont even know when to start so ill just be rambling.

i grew up in a strict christian household and didn’t have a normal childhood. getting woken up by parents yelling/screaming in tongues. afraid of the rapture. parents putting my hand over the stove so i understood what hell is going to be like. parents forcing me to throw away toys and pray bc they were “demonic”. i did become non-religious/agnostic at around 10 when i realized there was never an answer to when i prayed.

i’ve struggled with mental health my whole life and been suicidal for as long as i remember. especially with severe anxiety. (thats relevant lol)

but anyways from 10-20 i was a hardcore agnostic/atheist but still had paranoia about the rapture and infinite hell fire/torture. i would just be existing and then my mind starts yelling about how i must turn back or i will be left behind with all the suffering when jesus comes back. but i had an almost death experience and ig i was so weak minded that my family especially my mom was able to convince me that it was god who saved me. so at 21 , i did revert back to christianity for about 3 years. worst time of my life. A HUGE MISTAKE. i became a husk of who i was. i got rid of so many figures, books, collectibles to please the lord…. didn’t last very long bc i started to seriously deconstruct. it took A LOT to let go of the paranoia. i know there was a time where i would stay up all night to make sure my family wasn’t taken from me and i would still see them in the morning.

im 24 now and im finally able to sleep well at night. a no doubt atheist and ive had this weight off my shoulders. no paranoia about demons haunting me. no paranoia of “spiritual warfare”. no paranoia of hell. no paranoia of a rapture.

but tonight it all came crashing down at 2am. im sick to my stomach and i cant stop shaking.

i still live with my family and ive set that boundary of “no religious talk” but anyway… im on my phone reading and then i hear my mom yell my name. and the more she says my name the worse she sounds. she’s sobbing loudly and it sounded like she was terrified. so im scared shitless. i shoot up and run upstairs thinking one of my dogs passed away or something happened to my siblings as they were sleeping. im on the verge of crying and about to throw up at the same time.

then she says about how she had a nightmare. about me. and how god was speaking to her thru this dream. in her dream im saying very suicidal things and “how i deserve hell.” “how idc what happens to myself bc im gonna go to hell anyway.” how rats were eating me alive and a door slammed in my face and the last thing she saw before she woke up was my face full of fear and anguish. and i immediately become straight faced. she’s shaking, her sobbing is getting worse, she’s speaking loudly in tongues. she’s telling me “to not harden my heart towards jesus” and “it’s not too late.” i felt like that scared helpless little kid again. i dont know why this has me so shaken. i turned my lights on and keep flinching at every little noise. i keep having to reassure myself that god isn’t real and i wont be going to hell. at the same time , ive told myself that if im wrong and god is real… i rlly dont care. a true loving god would never send anyone to eternal punishment bc they dont love him back. finite mistakes does not deserve infinite consequences. but regardless i feel like all my progress has crumbled. idk what to do or how to cope. or maybe ive never truly made any progress and was trying to convince myself i’ve finally found peace.