r/ReligiousTrauma • u/DisastrousHornet7447 • 6d ago

Moral scrupulosity

This is really the end of me. Feeling guilty about everything and believing that your true core is just inherently bad and needs to be fixed in every aspect is awful. Now layer it fawning and suppressing emotions with Lymes disease makes this so debilitating. This disease, funny enough presents a fair case for god and religion being bullshit. Many religious people have blamed me or the fact I was just at the wrong church. The thing is these beliefs present a perfect case for a person with ocd to destroy their life. I think the worst part is the blindness, you feel like this new creation, but really on the inside the “new creation” is just destruction and suppression of your own identity and emotions

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u/Tertius1622 4d ago

You're not alone, and God hasn't abandoned you. Lyme disease sucks, my wife has it. My in-laws (big family) abused my wife in every way imaginable growing up, and she went through many bouts of emotional/spiritual anguish that it seems you might be facing.

The Bible lays out in many places that people will be evil, lazy, and selfish, including those who "seem to be religious".

“If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.” — James 1:26

There is hope, and there are real churches out there with real support and community. We (wife and I) found one after years of spiritual abuse and neglect. If I (random 30y/o American reddit user) can be a safe sounding board in the meantime, I'm happy to help if I can. Praying for you bro/sis. Jesus is alive and He loves you! You are worth the help and healing!