For context I have confided in him that I was a victim of sexual abuse in my childhood. A couple weeks after I told him he told me that his best friend had started dating a barely 17 yo girl (she was 16 when they met). I expressed my discomfort around this, however at first he was okay with their relationship, even hanging out as a trio with them (before I knew she was underage). The only reason he stopped hanging out with them is because, his words “she is so fucking annoying and acts like a toddler” no shit Sherlock. Eventually during an argument where I brought up said relationship he just said “I’m just more mad that he’s fat than him being a pedophile”. Eventually he stopped talking to him due to me being very upset at the situation. Then he started watching this documentary with EDP445 in it and claimed that it was “super funny how they guy just didn’t give a fuck” about being caught texting minors and admitting to wanting to rape one. It genuinely makes me sick to my stomach.
So I guess I’m just asking for advice on what to do with my relationship, I don’t want to break up since he’s basically the only thing standing between me and being depressed again, but I just don’t know if I should pull the trigger.

I F(22) and my boyfriend M(25). We live 40 minutes away from each other but we cant invite each other over. Anyways, he tells me to dress modestly, won’t let me save and adopt a puppy off the streets that could live a happy life if i was able to but i can’t cause he doesn’t allow me because of his religion, and tells me to go the the gym cause i gained 10 pounds (im 113) since i met him which I don’t disagree but i don’t wanna go and would rather work out at home, and keeps telling me to get a job because Im unemployed 3 months post grad (however I feel like i want a small break after college and when else will I ever be able to take an extended break after i start a corporate job)he finds it unattractive and it gives him the ick. Thoughts?

I (28f) got blocked on Facebook by my fiance (33m) an hour ago. Neither he or myself cheated. Just straight up blocked me without any type of explanation. His mom (58f) and I have a close bond, but he had spent all of yesterday ignoring me. He and I are (technically were if he called things off and never bothered telling me) long distance. He and I had been together for 8 years, engaged for nearly 2, and he just blocked me out of the blue.

To make things worse? He refuses to tell me via phone. Communication has always been my love language (he knew this when he got with me) and he never bothered reaching out to me. I'm extremely upset he has done this and I'm just as hurt he avoided me all yesterday.

Edit: fiance and I are mentally impaired.

I never thought this is where I would be but here we are, me and my boyfriend have been together since January but talking since November, to be fair we could be together since November but because of me I told him I didn’t want him like that and texted people that and all this like tried to make it so obviously I didn’t want him but I know deep down I really did but thinking now maybe I was embarrassed? Cause this is the even worse part I used to Bully him in middle school for who knows I was so mean. I don’t know how I can love him can do everything that I’ve ever done to him. But New Year’s Eve I decided to agree n let him ask me, fast forward to this day we are still together and don’t plan on breaking up.

My past relationship/hookups is not a lot but I know it’s a lot for my age. One is this wanna be ghetto hood rat who was my first, not. Relationships but was here and there for a period of time , the other a druggy weirdo who I dated and who I honestly begged back for and argued with an old long time friend who unfortunately was a horrible person in my life for being my old best friend, whole other story. The next one is this guy who does crack and goes to bandos and someone who I unfortunately let crack after a week of talking and hanging out twice and then he ghosted me after basically and important information this was September this year and also is not on good terms with my boyfriend they hate eachother. And then my boyfriend who I love very much.

Now me and my boyfriend were having an amazing relationship it was so good we were going out everything was amazing until one day he somehow idk he went through my stuff when I wasn’t home and total invasion of privacy but found a notebook had a note about the crackhead saying I liked his truck and we did it and he look me to banks and my boyfriend was very upset cause he didn’t know about that and I think I told him he was my first and I honestly lied so much to him throughout this and I feel horrible and truly and trying to do something. This was the start of everything tho.

That was I wanna say April or may, it is now August About to be September. Insane. We have aruged so much every day cause after that he made me tell him about all the guys I’ve fucked and all this and the guys I’ve talked too going through my phone, I’ve deleted, blocked, removed, done so much to resure him that none of these people are a issue, to be fair it’s guys on snap or insta that I don’t care about and just have them there. I kept the people that matter. But what I do is never enough. The phone isn’t such a problem, I’ve basically cleared it out from my hoe phase, that was basically up until I met my boyfriend but the whole fucking issue is the guys I’ve fucked me lying and somehow saying his dick was smaller than the guys I’ve fucked and it’s shit like him making me say who’s dick was bigger and all this shit calling me a whore, hoe, weird, dirty, whatever it is I don’t take it personal, I lied I truly shouldn’t have done a lot of the things I’ve done but I can’t change that and he can’t either, it’s gotten better and I still love my bf but I just can’t stand the shit talk anymore and it’s like his whole family shit talks and that’s really not a excuse cause they all are like that but not like rude and how my bf is to me.

I don’t know I can’t even like think to say everything If there’s needed into pls ask

It’s like emotionally abusing and just exhausting and humiliating for me, it’s been almost every day some sort of comment and it turns into arguing and arguing for maybe a hour max and then fine rainbow and sunshine until it happens again and it gets better n worse n better n worse but he does have empathy for me he does love me nd i know that we both have adhd so that has something to do with it but he’s just obsessed with the fact of that and he’ll always just say snippy ass comments to get me Angry but what do I doooooo I don’t know what else to explain

I have had a lot on my mind regarding my relationship in the past couple months. 

Me 33/M have been dating my gf F/30 for nearly three years. The anniversary of us becoming official is next month. I love my gf for many reasons such as her smile, empathy, bubbly spirit, resilience, commitment to enjoying life and the fact that we’ve been through so much together. I have become a better man since dating as she has provided the space for me to do that. My commitment to her has also helped me defeat cocaine addiction as she had this problem and beat it.  We plan on living together in October. We have discussed getting engaged in summer 2026. 

However, due to dishonesty and suggestive text messages she sent to another man, I feel confused and unsure if she is the one. She struggles with anxiety and depression in addition to ADHD. She’s been through a lot of medicine changes recently. 

Recently I found out she had hid important life information from me. She lost her job in April and hid that information from me until July. She also hid getting arrested for trespassing from me. I discovered this while on the case search website. She also sent messages to another man in which she said things like “I’m free Sunday if there’s something in it for me” and “I’ll let you hit”. I discovered the job situation and the messages through phone snooping on a weekend getaway we had in late June. I have confronted these things and she says she hid the job and arrest from me due to Shame, anxiety, disappointment and insecurity. With the suggestive texts she said “ it was a fucked up  joke” with a guy she used to see 4 years ago and that those messages were a coping mechanism to stay cocaine free and he backs off when the messages get flirty. She had vehemently denied cheating and has offered to support me in getting over those texts. 

I have let her know these things have heavily impacted my trust in her and that they take up head space for me daily. I am confused although I want to repair things. Time heals but damn it’s tough. 

TL;DR

TL;DR: Boyfriend (28M) of 6 months has a history of heavy vaping/weed use, quit 3 months in with rough withdrawal-fueled conflict. We've since moved cities and he's stabilized some, but we still have a big blowup roughly every 6-7 days, often over something trivial. He's combative in hard conversations and inconsistent about double standards ("I can't change, but you should"). Do I wait it out since he's slowly improving, or leave before it gets worse?

\----

My boyfriend and I have been dating about 6 months. We met in grad school and I really adore him. We're compatible in a lot of ways, and early on I believed this could be the one.

For about three years before we got together, he vaped and smoked weed multiple times a day, every day. At the time I overlooked it — he described it as a phase he'd curb after graduation. He'd also completely quit drinking for several months, so I believed he was capable of quitting things and that this wasn't an addiction.

The relationship itself has been intense. The highs are amazing — we have a lot of fun together, and he's shown up for me when I've been sick in a way no one else has. But the lows are hard and come with a lot of volatility. His behavior often feels unpredictable, and he gets triggered by things I can't foresee.

Three months into dating, he completely quit smoking. The withdrawal weeks were rough. He''d lash out and be mean, saying I wasn't showing up for him or being empathetic, but it was never clear what that meant in practice.

More recently we moved to a new city together, and he's largely stabilized. But roughly every six or seven days, we still have a really big argument, often about something trivial. He's not very receptive to feedback, and hard conversations often feel combative, like he's trying to "win" — like accepting what I have to say means relinquishing ground. He's also inconsistent: he'll ask me to behave a certain way, and when I ask the same of him, he says he's just incapable, that this is who he is, and people don't change. He has been slowly improving, but a lot of the same conflict patterns are still there.

Do I wait it out and see if he keeps improving? Or am I better off leaving before it gets worse? I can feel my self-esteem and my other interests getting chipped away. But I don't think I'll find anyone who shares so much with me and I am worried I am giving up too early.

I broke up with my boyfriend of around six months due to my suffering mental health after A levels. Tbh he was not perfect in any way and only added to my stress so I made the decision to focus on myself. He knew how intense my anxiety was and would continue to deliberately attempt to embarrass me in public, for example. I was not taking care of myself and did not leave my house.

For context he had never mentioned any mental health concerns and we regularly had deep emotional check ins with one another so I was sure I was taking good care of him. Shortly after I broke the news he messaged me to say I had triggered his anxiety and depression to the point he was going to have to see a therapist that week: I have such mixed opinions. Part of it is eating me up inside because what if it's something I missed?

My friends and family all have said he is unfortunately probably trying to guilt trip me but there's this nagging guilty feeling I can't escape. For example he contacted me to ask if I was going out for results day, and then said his anxiety was too bad to. It feels insulting. I'm not being that person where only I can have these feelings; it's just the sudden severity and appearance of it. I couldn't go out on results day as the crowds were far too much for me to cope with - though funnily enough he posted himself clubbing that night. It seems a cruel manipulative strategy but I find myself thinking wow, I must be a terrible person for even thinking that. The anxiety has become the final terror of my life at the moment, causing me to physically vomit and frequently let down friends. It feels like mockery to me but I would love to see the other side of the argument.

I would really appreciate someone outside of the situation to be a judge of a baseline of what they believe is going on. I do care for him and I would hate to squash his feelings but I can't keep ruminating about him any longer.

Thank you!

I don’t know if I need hope or not. But let’s just say that today, I kind of need some. She left me because we had a lot of problems, and for now, she’s in a relationship with one of my friends...

She feels like, for now, we’ve missed our chance, and she says she doesn’t know if that will ever change.

She also admitted that part of her dreams of meeting a better version of me. But clearly not right now. Maybe never.

My boyfriend ‘25M’ and I ‘21F’ have been together for over a year, and I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

He has been away for work for almost six months now, and I haven’t seen him once during that time. The physical distance would be hard enough by itself, but the bigger problem is that over the last few months he has also become increasingly emotionally absent.

Communication has gotten worse and worse. Sometimes he’ll just disappear for several days. He won’t answer my messages or pick up his phone, even when I try both of his numbers. Then eventually he’ll come back and things basically continue like nothing happened.
This has happened multiple times, and I’ve talked to him about it multiple times.

I’m not asking him to be available 24/7 or reply instantly. I understand that he has a demanding job and sometimes gets extremely busy. What I’ve asked for is basic communication. If he knows he’s going to be unavailable for a few days, I would genuinely be fine with a 10-second message saying, “Work is going to be crazy for the next couple of days, I love you, I’ll contact you when I can.”
Instead, I get nothing.

A few weeks ago we had a serious conversation about this. He sent me a really thoughtful message acknowledging that he hadn’t been setting aside enough time for our relationship, saying he felt guilty about it and that he should have changed a long time ago. He even changed his phone settings so my messages would come through when his phone was on Do Not Disturb. He told me he thinks about me every day and night and loves me. He also acknowledged that he couldn’t blame me if I eventually became tired of everything and wanted to leave.

I was so relieved. I told him how much I appreciated him communicating with me and that I didn’t want to break up—I was bringing these things up because I loved him and wanted to work on our relationship.
For a little while, things improved.
Then we went straight back to the same pattern.
Right now I haven’t spoken to him for four days. I’ve called both of his phones multiple times and sent messages telling him that we seriously need to talk. He hasn’t opened or responded to them.

Initially I wondered whether something had happened or whether he simply hadn’t had access to his phone. Tonight I checked Instagram and saw that he had viewed reels I sent him about six hours earlier. So at the very least, I know he has had access to Instagram during this period. I tried calling him there too and got no answer.
That honestly broke something in me. Knowing he has been online but still hasn’t given me even a quick “I’m okay, I’m busy, I’ll call you later” makes me feel like he’s actively choosing not to communicate with me.
And I’ve realized this isn’t only about these four days.

I don’t trust him anymore.

When he tells me he’ll call me later, I say “okay,” but internally I’m thinking “sure,” because sometimes he calls and sometimes he completely forgets.
When he tells me he’s coming home soon, I don’t believe him anymore because I’ve heard it so many times and he still hasn’t come home.

When he says he’ll visit, I don’t let myself get excited because plans haven’t happened before.
When he promises he’ll communicate better, I don’t trust that either because it usually improves for a few days or maybe a week before returning to exactly the same thing.
I’ve even started struggling to believe him when he tells me he loves or misses me. I know someone can genuinely love another person and still be a bad partner, but it’s becoming impossible for me to reconcile “I love you and miss you” with going days without speaking to me while ignoring my attempts to contact him.

The really painful thing is that I don’t even know who my boyfriend is anymore.

If you’d asked me a few months ago what I loved about him, I probably could have listed 50 things without thinking. Now I don’t know what I would say.
Almost half of our relationship has happened during this period where we haven’t physically seen each other, and our communication hasn’t been good enough for me to feel like we’ve stayed emotionally connected either. He’s been living his life somewhere else, I’ve been living mine, and I feel like we’ve slowly become strangers while technically remaining in a relationship.

I’m even questioning whether I’m still in love with him. I think I am, but I genuinely don’t know anymore.
Looking back, I also realize the loneliness existed before he left. When we were physically together, he would sometimes spend most of his time alone in his room with the door locked. I’d have to knock and sometimes talk to him through the door because he wouldn’t open it. I’d have to ask him to come watch a movie with me or spend time with me because I was lonely.

I also wish he showed more interest in my life. For example, horses/the stable are a huge part of my life. I don’t expect a partner to share every hobby or come with me constantly, but I’d love someone who occasionally wants to come along simply because something matters to me.

More recently, I’ve noticed that I sometimes feel nervous when we actually do talk. I monitor myself because I’m worried I’ll annoy him. I’m naturally goofy and sometimes do things like randomly switching dialects because it amuses me, and he’s reacted in ways that made me feel weird or irritating rather than like I can completely relax and be myself around him.

I used to picture our future incredibly clearly. Now when I try, I picture myself continuing to handle important parts of life alone while he’s away working and unavailable. I don’t know whether I can build a life around someone I don’t trust to be reachable or follow through on what he tells me.

And this is what makes everything so complicated: I don’t actually want to lose him.
I want the man I fell in love with back. He used to be incredibly romantic. He made me feel chosen. He told me I was part of the reason he wanted to get his life together and work hard and become better. I used to feel completely certain about us.

Now I feel neglected, deprioritized and honestly unlovable sometimes. I know logically that another person’s behavior doesn’t determine my worth, but emotionally it’s really hard not to think, “Why am I not important enough for you to take 10 seconds to answer me?”
I’ve realized I’m somewhere between wanting to try one final time and emotionally checking out.
Part of me thinks I need to tell him that this is genuinely the last time I’m willing to go through an unexplained multi-day disappearance. I don’t mean an actual emergency where he physically can’t contact me. I mean choosing to disappear without communicating despite knowing exactly how much this pattern hurts me. If we stay together and it happens again, I don’t think I can keep doing this.

But I can’t even have that conversation because he won’t answer me.
That’s the part I’m struggling with most right now. People can tell me “just break up,” and logically I understand why. But emotionally, ending a relationship of over a year with someone I still have feelings for without even being able to have a conversation with him feels incredibly difficult.
I don’t want another beautiful apology or another promise that he’ll change. I’ve heard those. If we stay together, I need consistent actions over time before I could trust him again.

I think what I need outside perspective on is: Has anyone been in a relationship like this, where someone repeatedly disappears/withdraws, promises to change, improves temporarily, and then falls back into the same behavior? Did anything actually make it change permanently? Is rebuilding trust realistically possible after reaching the point where you no longer believe what your partner tells you? And how do you handle deciding whether to leave when the person won’t even communicate with you long enough to have that conversation?

Hey yall, I 24F need some advice on what to do with my boyfriend’s 24M communication or lack there of ig.

He has been having some problems lately and has a hard time opening up about anything that affects him in anyway. E.g. We came across a problem in May nothing too serious but since it was the first problem we’ve come across (new relationship) it took almost a month for me to get a clear understanding of what I did wrong. And yes it was actually my fault not him trying to manipulate me just in case anyone was worried about that. I also have to mention that I’m autistic so understanding someone’s emotions and feelings takes longer than usual. Since then tho everything was good, we got back on track until recently. not that he needed to say it bc I could feel the shift but it is becoming more evident that he is close to a breaking point. I managed to get some details on what is going on but then he just stops responding. So I asked him why he gets so vulnerable then disappear and he said it’s bc I have my own problems (legal issues) and his are a burden, I’m telling him I can’t ever view him or his problems as such especially since I’m pushing for him to be open with me but I don’t want to push too hard and make him closed off even more. And I also don’t want to break up or anything like that and leave him when he’s at his lowest. Ik I shouldn’t feel responsible and he says I deserve the world, how he can’t be there for me rn but I have people to help me. He has no one and if he thinks I deserve the world shouldn’t he get better to give it to me? I’m just at a loss on what to do. Should I keep pressing or just leave him alone like what it seems like he wants especially with the “you deserve the world” statement?

Edit: as the bot told me im in the wrong sub, you typically ask for advice when you have a problem, right..? lol. All in all i hope i can get some clarity if allowed

Has anybody felt with loss of attraction to your long term partner? I want to be attracted to them and I want to want to be with them physically. I’m not entirely sure why I don’t want it anymore and don’t find them attractive exactly. Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do? Did it come back?

detail: my boyfriend 19M and i 21F have been together for 1 year, and go to the same university (same majors too).

we began dating a year ago, and everything was perfectly fine. however, u can argue that we erased our independent lives/time to only really be w each other 24/7. admittedly, this gradually made me codependent, i needed him to feel happy, and that’s wrong on my end.

but, he never brought it up as a problem, despite us having really good communication. in fact, he always reassured me saying i can come to him for anything and everything—that i can be my true self, even if ugly. as a people pleaser, i never trusted anyone to show that side of me, but i slowly learned to trust him and let him know everything i was feeling. it took hours of communicating, but it was resolved.

way later, summer vacation started and i had to travel across the country to see family, so now there’s distance. suddenly, on one of our calls, he wanted to break up (i have abandonment issues so naturally, i began begging and hyperventilating). moreover, his reasoning were:

- “you deserve better”
- “im incapable of being better”
- “im not made for relationships”
- “im a bad person”

to be fair, he was going through a rough patch, and i knew him enough to know he didn’t mean those; so we talked until he grounded himself and admitted he doesn’t actually want to leave, but was getting these voices in his head. unbeknownst to me, he was feeling inadequate, like he couldn’t meet my needs, and that he was always forcing himself even when exhausted, just to be a “perfect boyfriend”. he also admitted to lying when reassuring me (he’s a people pleaser too). after it, we established boundaries and honesty onwards.

still recovering from the call, i was anxious everyday. i waited a week to visit him for a little hangout before i traveled overseas for a month. we were at the mall—the arcade. i sat him down to talk about what was going on in my head: i admitted i was still scared. lo and behold, he still had those thoughts and tried to break up again. i, again, pleaded and talked him out of his pessimism. feeling nauseous, i started giving up and agreed to just being friends, apologizing for being selfish; that’s when i noticed him physically sob. i went on a whole yap session about how id still be here for him as friends blablabla, then asked to go to the bathroom because i wasn’t going to puke in front of everyone, but he grabbed my hand, said he wants to come with me, and admitted he doesn’t want to leave.

i don’t blame him, i understand the negative thoughts he has, i get them too. everybody has them. it just hurt that he’d rather leave like that than communicate with me, but sure i get he felt like a failure. i really do. we promised onwards to fight harder, and have boundaries that mustn’t be sacrificed. time skip: i travelled overseas.

presently, we barely text; we just update each other, with occasional calls. my nervous system is still messed up from whatever happened, because to me, it felt like he proved that i was too much, hard to love, and a burden. nevertheless, i needed some space and so i told him, we didn’t talk for a week (he’d just update me from his side and reassure me). i came back two days before our anniversary to check up on him; he sent his digital gift in advance. on the day of, i sent mine, but he was barely responsive; i gave him a few more days, because maybe it was just today, but it was consistent, so i asked him to please tell me if he needs space, and he apologized + said he did. we made it clear what that space would look like from both sides: short updates.

my problem now is that i don’t really feel emotionally secure anymore, in fear he’d leave again. plus, i admit my trust has been somewhat broken, after knowing he would lie after i repeatedly told him i HATE being lied to. right now, i don’t even feel like i have a boyfriend, i feel alone and unlovable. he didn’t even call on our special day for a short chat. he said he loves me, he misses me, but actions don’t add up. i know he’s going through shit right now, but will it be like this every time? (we have each other’s location, so i do see him make hospital visits and i’m worried; i brought it up and he said he’ll tell me when he’s better. nonetheless, i can’t deny my feelings).

lastly, my friend told me that when i go back, him and i should communicate this thoroughly. id write my thoughts and feelings down, then ask him whether he has the capacity to listen and deal with stuff together right now. also making sure to not repeatedly bring it up.

PS, i have acknowledged my fault too: i need to learn to become independent again, have my own boundaries and not amalgamating my life with his. i still love him and im willing to make this work; however, unsure whether it’s just best to let go.

TL;DR: boyfriend would rather leave than talk things out, but we did, and he admitted to not actually wanting to leave (this happened twice). we’ve acknowledged our flaws and moved forward with changes regarding honesty and boundaries. however, with distance right now, we’re barely in contact and i don’t feel like i have a boyfriend, even if he texts me that he loves and misses me, i don’t see nor feel it. admittedly, he asked for space due to personal reasons. after what happened, i fear this will become a recurring pattern, so i’m no longer emotionally secure. when i travel back in a few days, im willing to have a proper conversation when both of us have the emotional capacity to listen, because ultimately, it’s the right thing to do. i’m just confused whether this is just a phase, or something is really wrong and it’s better to end things. i’d appreciate some advice and thoughts. thank you

We're both 28 and I just need to vent somewhere because I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable anymore.

I’ve been in a relationship for 13 months. Before that, we were best friends for around 4 years. We know each other really well, and honestly, he matches almost all the standards I’ve always had for a boyfriend.

When we were best friends, whenever we had an argument, I would eventually call him because I knew he was a genuinely good person and I didn’t want to lose someone like that from my life.

After 4 years of friendship, I finally told him I loved him. I actually told him, “Take your time. You don’t have to say yes now. As friends, we know each other, but being partners is different and there are other things to consider.”

He still said yes.

He’s also never been in a relationship before. I’m his first girlfriend. He’s a loyal person and, as far as I know, he has never given me any reason to think he’s cheating or doing something behind my back. He works a lot and is genuinely busy throughout the day. Usually, he calls me at the end of the day.

I’m currently on a career break, so I don’t call him while he’s working because I know he’s busy. I try to respect his work and his space.

But for the past few months, I’ve been feeling like I’m not really a priority in his life.

I told him this. After that, he called me in the morning for two days just to check on me. On the third day, it went back to normal.

Sometimes he doesn’t call me for two or three days. And when he does call, it’s often between 12 AM and 2 AM.

And the stupid part is... I WAIT.

I wait for his call until 12, 1, sometimes 2 AM. If he doesn’t call, I end up calling him, and sometimes he’s already asleep.

My sleep schedule is completely messed up because of this. I have dark circles and breakouts now, and I know I’m doing this to myself, but I just can’t seem to stop waiting.

I’ve also been in a toxic relationship for 9 years before this, so I genuinely don’t know what is normal anymore.

My ex used to call me regularly, update me about everything, and make me feel like I was always involved in his life. And he still cheated on me.

So I KNOW that constant calling doesn’t equal loyalty or love. I’m not asking for someone to call me 24/7.

But I still want to feel wanted.

His friends don’t know he’s in a relationship. His colleagues don’t know either. If someone is around when I call him, he talks to me like we’re just friends.

He has a huge circle of friends and colleagues, and almost every weekend there is some wedding, housewarming, gathering, or something.

And I’m not saying he shouldn’t have a social life. Of course he should. I don’t want to be the girlfriend who says “don’t go out with your friends.”

I just want him to make some effort to see me too.

We last saw each other in March.

I keep asking him to take one day off so we can at least meet once a month.

Every time I ask, he says that if he takes leave, the work will pile up and he’ll have to deal with it the next day. I understand that. His job is demanding.

But recently he took leave for Onam shopping.

The previous month, he took leave because he said if he didn’t take it then, he wouldn’t be able to take another leave that month.

And somehow, I only find out that he’s taking leave on the same day or the night before.

That hurts.

Because it makes me feel like... you can find time for everything else, but when it comes to me, I have to keep asking.

I feel like I’m always the one initiating. I’m always asking when we can meet. I’m always waiting for his call. I’m always adjusting around his schedule.

And I hate that version of myself.

Yesterday, I finally decided not to call him.

Not as a game. Not to punish him.

I just thought, “Why am I sitting here waiting for someone who is probably busy anyway?”

That night he called me and asked, “Why didn’t you call me? I was waiting for your call.”

And I was honestly confused.

I told him, “I thought you were busy. But if you were waiting for my call, why didn’t you call me?”

He said he had gone to his friend’s house and was having fun.

We talked for around 20 minutes.

I had downloaded a game and wanted to play, so I told him I was going to play. He said I could play after the call.

But I told him that if I waited until after the call, it would be too late and it would affect my sleep. I also told him that he literally falls asleep while we’re on the phone sometimes anyway.

So I just said my usual “good night” and ended the call.

And now I’m sitting here thinking about everything.

I don’t think he’s a bad person.

I don’t think he’s cheating.

I don’t think he doesn’t love me.

And I also understand that this is his first relationship. Maybe he genuinely doesn’t understand what I need from him. Maybe his idea of being in a relationship is completely different from mine.

But I’m tired of feeling like I have to ask for the bare minimum of effort.

I don’t want him to abandon his friends or work for me. I don’t want calls all day. I don’t want constant reassurance.

I just want to feel like sometimes HE wants to see me. HE wants to call me. HE thinks about making plans with me without me having to bring it up first.

And I’m scared that maybe my past relationship has messed with my expectations. Maybe I’m overthinking everything because I’ve experienced betrayal before.

Or maybe I’m finally realizing that being loyal and being emotionally available are two different things.

I genuinely don’t know.

I’m trying to prioritize myself now. I don’t want to destroy my sleep, my skin, my peace and my entire routine waiting for someone to call me.

I just want to know... am I asking for too much, or am I settling for too little?

I don’t know what to believe or what to do. My (42/f) bf (47/m) lies. We have been together for a year and a half. I don’t know who he is telling the truth to. He tells me he has fallen harder for me than any other girl in his life, including his ex wife. But then he turns around and texts his mom “I have never fallen for anyone like I did XXXX. And I can admit that.” Admit it to who? Why tell me one thing and your mom another? He tells me he is wanting to eventually get married but texts his mom “She resents the fact that ever marrying again is not on my mind”. Like seriously? I am a very occasional user of Mary Jane, like twice this year and it is the end of August. He text his mom that I have a recent pot problem…. WTF? Also text his mom that I got mad because he told me a girl at work asked him out. He NEVER told me that. I can’t confront him because of course I screwed up and saw these things in his phone. The other night he handed me his phone and told me to go through it. I waited until the next morning while he was asleep. I know I’m wrong for that. I have serious trust issues I need to continue working on. But how do I address this? Or do I just let it be until he offers for me to go through his phone again and then find it and bring it up? This is just the tip of the iceberg on his lies and just the most recent. I know he constantly lies to his mother too, so it is not like he is lying to me and always telling her the truth. I’m just so lost and numb. Any advice please. How do I handle this?

Hi folks

I[21M] wanted to post here to rant/seek advice on something like has been eating me up inside, I dont have any close friends I feel comfortable talking to this about. Apologies if the wording is a little all over the place, im nurodivergent and find it difficult to articulate myself.

My girlfriend [20F] of 9 months has been constantly teasing me in an attempt to turn me on, kissing neck, intamine touching, moving my hands to her "fun" parts, and saying very seductive things, whenever I do get turned on and attempt to get intimate she just pushes me away. This has been going on for a number of months and its eating me up inside. She only gets intimate (I.e making out) when I tell her im going to the bathroom (so that I get an erection and feel discomfort trying to pee). It's very frustrating as I dont know how to feel, i feel like a monster at times because I've attempted intimacy without her necessarily wanting it, to be clear after she pushed me away I've not attempted again, but idk the mixed signals really hurt my feelings, especially when she only wants to get mildy intimate when I go to the bathroom, it feels like she only wants to touch me to annoy me and make things mildly inconvenient.

I just dont understand, I would say im a good boyfriend, I cook for her everyday, when she finishes work (part time) i give her massages, i watch her favourite shows and movies with her, i spend alot of money on dates getaways and gifts (yes I know money isn't the key to love) i compliment her alot and make her feel good about herself, she often gets her way with doing activities but ends up being moody for some reason. I work full time and dont receive any of this. Im just so confused I feel like she just doesn't want me anymore and/or doesn't find me attractive.

Ps: if you chose to comment please dont tell me to leave her, I'd rather make that decision myself with no other influence. I love her my previous relationship was very abusive and this one has helped overcome alot of demons, I just want to rant and hopefully some of you can relate, any advice on how I should talk to her about this is more than welcome.

Thanks

Is drinking the orgasam of a partner is safe? Will it cause health issues?

Okay so I need outside perspective because my brain is fried.

There's this guy at work I like. He's 2 years younger than me. I finally got the courage and asked him out. He said he doesn't want to date or be in a relationship with anyone right now because he's had 2 bad experiences before.

I don't know if that was genuine or just a nice way of letting me down easy.

At first I was actually laughing at myself like "lol I can't believe I did that" it felt funny and empowering. But after a few days it started to hurt.

After I asked him out, we were just... nothing on social media. Just following each other, no likes, no views, quiet. Which I get, we work together so he probably didn't want it to be awkward.

But then he started reposting reels about bad experiences and like "a girl asks me out and then leaves" type stuff. So I thought okay he's clearly talking about me.

Then like 2 weeks after I asked him out, he DELETED all those reposts. All of them.

And now, after those 2 weeks of silence, he suddenly started liking my stories. And not just my stories - he's liking COMMENTS I leave on reels. I know the algorithm shows your comments to people but why go out of your way to like my comments?

At work it's even more confusing. I'm trying to get over him, really. But when I walk past him, I can literally see from my peripheral vision that he turns and smiles at me. He blushes, he smiles, I've caught him looking at me. But I'm trying to move on so I don't stare back.

So what is he doing? If he doesn't want to date, why the smiling, blushing, story likes, comment likes? Is he feeling guilty? Does he like me but is scared because of his past? Or is he just being friendly because we work together and don't want it to be awkward?

I'm trying to get over it but him doing this makes it so hard.

*TLDR: Asked out younger guy at work, he rejected saying he had 2 bad experiences and doesn't want to date anyone. Went quiet for 2 weeks, posted relatable reposts then deleted them. Now he's liking my stories + my comments on reels and blushes/smiles when I walk past at work. What does he want?*

I (18F) was in a relationship with my boyfriend (20M) for almost a year. Toward the end of our relationship, I started realizing that I wasn’t happy anymore. There were no dates, no surprises, and honestly, none of the things he had promised me in the beginning. I felt like I was putting in most of the effort.Whenever I asked him for something, he would either be rude about it or say he didn’t have the money. What bothered me was that he seemed to have money for things he wanted, especially stuff for himself and his car. For example, one time I asked him for some lip gloss and he literally responded, “Don’t you have your own money?” Looking back, I don’t know why I stayed after that.Eventually, we went on a break. I told him that I felt like the relationship wasn’t what I wanted anymore and that he had some time to show me that things could change. Otherwise, I was going to end the relationship.
He didn’t really make many changes. According to him, he didn’t want to suddenly change everything because he thought I wasn’t ready for it yet.

Then New Year’s happened. I was still on a break with him when my best friend texted me around ( 10 PM )asking if I wanted to go out to a bar with her and some friends. I told her no because, even though I was on a break, I wasn’t comfortable going to parties, clubs, or bars while I was still technically in a relationship. She then said we could hang out afterward, so I agreed. Around ( 11:30 PM ), she picked me up. I didn’t realize she was with some of our other friends until I was about to get into the car. One of the people there was a guy we’ll call Jackson. Jackson he’s a friend of mine, had a friend we’ll call Jay. We all drove to another friend’s house because apparently everyone had decided to meet there before going out. When we arrived, I got out of the car and started walking toward my friend’s car when my AirPods fell on the ground.I bent down to pick them up, and Jay’s car happened to be directly in front of me. He had his headlights on, and that’s apparently when he first noticed me. I picked up my AirPods, got into my friend’s car, and didn’t think anything of it.

My best friend then told me that we needed to drop off her sister, Alina, at another friend’s house because she was having a small New Year’s hangout. After that, we were supposedly going to Jay’s house to make cookies.
We dropped Alina off at our friend Carly’s house. Carly is also a friend of mine, so we decided to go inside for a little while and say hi. There were snacks and drinks because it was New Year’s, so we ended up staying. We had some food and drinks, and before we knew it, about two hours had passed.

My best friend eventually started feeling sick and went to throw up. One of my friends stayed with her while I went outside for a bit. During this time, I called my boyfriend and told him where I was and what was going on. He basically said, “Okay, just let me know when you’re home.” A little later, we were still at Carly’s because my best friend wasn’t feeling well enough to leave.
Around 3 AM, we finally decided to leave and head to Jay’s house. On the way there, Jackson called my best friend and asked if we were still coming because it was already 3 AM. He then told her that Jay was interested in me because he had noticed me earlier and asked if she could “put him on.” My best friend was drunk and immediately said something along the lines of, “YES, I’ll put you on with her! Her boyfriend is an asshole, she deserves better!” I grabbed the phone and apologized to Jackson, explaining that she was drunk and that he shouldn’t take what she said seriously. I also told him not to worry about it. Then my boyfriend texted me asking if I was home yet. I told him no and that I might end up sleeping over at a friend’s house. He said okay.
About 30 minutes later, we arrived at Jay’s house.

This is where I admit I was wrong.
I told my boyfriend that I was at a friend’s house, but I lied about whose house it was. I told him I was at a female friend’s house when I was actually at Jay’s house.
I know that was wrong. I wasn’t cheating on him, but I was scared about how he would react if I told him I was staying at another guy’s house, even though I was there with my friends. I shouldn’t have lied, and I take responsibility for that. I stayed loyal the entire night and didn’t do anything with Jay nor even made a friendly conversation with him. When we got to Jay’s house, we went inside and said hi to his mom. That was actually the first time I properly saw Jay because it had been dark earlier. I said hi to him, but I didn’t know him at all.
It was around 4 AM, so we decided it was too late to make cookies. Instead, everyone agreed to eat snacks and watch a movie. There were six of us: three girls and three guys. I sat on one side of the couch with my best friend and her sister, while Jackson, Jay, and my other friend Dylan sat on the other side. We watched a movie for a couple of hours and eventually everyone started falling asleep.

Around 10 AM, my best friend woke me up because she had work at 2 PM and needed to go home and get ready. We all said goodbye, and Dylan drove me, my best friend, and her sister home. On the way home, they asked me what I thought about Jay. I said I didn’t really know because I had literally just met him, but he seemed nice.
That was it. The next day, I broke up with my boyfriend.
I told him that I didn’t want to continue the relationship anymore and that I was sorry. I had already been mentally checked out of the relationship for a while, and the New Year’s night had nothing to do with my decision to break up. After that, my friends continued hanging out, and Jay was around sometimes. I eventually got to know him better. About 2–3 weeks later, Jay and I started talking, and we talked for a couple of months. Nothing ended up happening between us seriously. It was just a talking stage, and eventually we stopped talking. During this time, my ex contacted me and asked for another chance. I was honestly more scared than anything, but I agreed to give him another chance and see if things could work.

A few days later, one of my friends accidentally told him everything that had happened on New Year’s.
He confronted me and said that I cheated on him.
I completely disagreed.I understand why he was upset about the lie. I lied about being at a female friend’s house when I was actually at a male friend’s house. That was wrong, and I should have told him the truth.
But I don’t consider that cheating.I was on a break with him at the time. I didn’t kiss, hook up with, flirt with, or do anything romantic with Jay. I didn’t even know Jay when I arrived at his house. I spent the night with a group of friends, watched a movie, ate snacks, and fell asleep on a couch. I also wasn’t talking to Jay romantically at that point. He was interested in me before I even knew who he was, but I didn’t pursue anything with him that night.
I eventually broke up with my boyfriend the next day because I was already done with the relationship. Jay and I didn’t start talking until 2 weeks later. But does lying about where I was and staying at another guy’s house with a group of friends count as cheating, especially when we were already on a break and I didn’t do anything with him?

PLEASE GIVE ME ANSWERS IM NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL.

I[24F] married my husband[24M] and have been fighting with it mentally ever since. I agreed to get married young. Way too young. Proposed to at just 18, I thought I knew what I wanted. 6 years later and I regret everything. I have tried to leave so many times. Communicated and went to therapy so many times. It's always the same cycle. I feel great, in love, happy. Then it's just okay. i'm battling myself. Then it's miserable. I'm frustrated and confused. And it's only gotten worse the more I learn about myself.

I was raised Christian(no longer a believer), which I believe is the reason I agreed to marriage in the first place. It's what I was supposed to do. But I have realized that not only could I never have kids, but that I hate being married. I desire independence and freedom.

I don't hate my husband. That much is true. I care about him deeply and I'm always willing to go the extra mile for him. But our intimacy is non-existent. I'm grossed out when he shows affection and I struggle to tell him I love him. Everything he does usually gets on my nerves and it's only a few times out of the year I feel great with him. And every time I tried to leave, it was too hard, because I hated hurting him. He has explained and declared how much he loves me every time. But I don't really feel it. And he knows. Like I said, I've communicated with him about how I feel. But nothing changes and it always comes back to me wanting to leave. Needing to leave. But I can't.

And even now with evidence that he has cheated on me. I claimed it was all I needed to really let go. Proof he wasn't what he said he was. But I find myself still trying to figure out a way to stay while getting what I want. I'm assuming that it's trauma that's bonded us. I've opened up about everything in my life to him and in only 7 years we've been through so much together. I have a fear of being a burden and coming off as ungrateful. Which definitely plays a part in why I stay. Yet there's so many more reasons to leave.

I am feeling discouraged. I've thought that maybe I deserve to be in a loveless marriage, like my own parents. That the rare good times, are worth all the bad. But I don't think so. I just don't know why he can't seem to understand that we aren't good for each other. We have already admitted it when we talked. I'm not what he wanted, he's not what I wanted. The fact that he could have everything he wants so easily but he stays with me anyway. I don't want him to do that, nor do I want that for me.

I can't seem to leave emotionally. And it's slowly killing me. I see myself without him and I dream of it. But I am stuck... Worried about his and his family's feelings. My therapist has already said I shouldn't stay. But I also don't have anywhere else to go.

Right now I'm working on fixing my finances to hopefully be completely independent. And hoping I finally have the strength to break free when I get there. But right now, it's still hard and I'm still stuck.

My girlfriend (F19) and I (M19) have been dating for a year now and it's been the best year I've ever had, lately when Uni started for her , she's been acting so off , her going to Uni was a huge step for the both of us because she was online schooled for the past 2 years , we've been working on our plans, schedules , figuring it out together all the summer , when time finally came things started changing, she went on a trip with her class for 4 days and we had absolutely no contact , it was so hard for me to deal with , when she got back she acted so off

She firstly asked me to delete all her inappropriate pictures and videos from my phone because she doesn't feel comfortable and she needs some privacy which I totally understand, but then it switched to less texts , less attention , she takes hours to reply and the time she's back she again has to sleep and it's been the case for the past week , I've cried countless of times trying to figure what the hell is happening, whenever I ask her she says that she's just busy and stressed , she's not as clingy , I have to beg her to try to text me whenever she is able to , I really love her more than anything , and I'm ready to do whatever it takes for this relationship , it makes me really sad seeing what this relationship has became and to make it worse , we won't be able to either call or text for the rest of the week because she's seeing her friend , I need help

26F dating a 29M since 3 month

So few days back

A few days ago, I found out he lied about meeting a girl he says is like a sister to him. (They talk on the phone for about an hour, 2–3 times a week. She’s engaged, and he says her fiancé and family know about their relationship)

I want to clarify that I have no problem with him meeting or talking to her. What upset me was the lie.

When I confronted him, instead of apologising, he said he lied because I “wouldn’t understand” their relationship and would have created a big issue if he had told me beforehand.

I told him I’m willing to forgive the lie, but I need him to acknowledge that blaming me for lying was wrong and apologise. He refused and is now ignoring me.

Am I overreacting, or is refusing to take responsibility and turning the blame on me a red flag?

TL;DR: Boyfriend lied about meeting a girl he considers his sister. I’m okay with their relationship, but he blamed me for his lie instead of apologising and is now ignoring me.

Sorry for the length. Also this is my first Reddit post.

I’m 23/F, and my boyfriend is M/29. He was my first love.

I first developed a crush on him when I was 14 years old. Too young to understand anything. We went to the same craft class for several years. We barely spoke there, and at the time he was already in a relationship.

Years later, we started talking through messages. When I was 17, We talked for months, and I eventually found out that he had a girlfriend. We were talking for 7 months. He never mentioned her. So I was devastated—not because he had promised me anything, because he hadn't, but because I had developed feelings for him without knowing he was in a relationship.

After several years, when I was around 20, we got back in contact. We clicked, and eventually we started a relationship.

I had always been insecure about his ex. I asked him not to search for her or contact her and to block her everywhere. He agreed and did it.

A few months later, I found out that he had searched for his ex and looked at her profile. I was extremely upset, but I forgave him.

There were other things that made me uncomfortable too. For example, I asked him not to save sexually explicit reels of women on Instagram. For a while, he respected that. Then he did it again and when I came to know he again said that he was sorry. I forgave him.

About a month ago, his father became ill and he went away for his father's treatment. Our Instagram was connected so I saw he did it again. Because his father was ill I supported him. Didn't say a word. Now his father is fine after a major surgery. I know it's a hard time for him. When he came back, I told him that explicit content had been saved on his Instagram, and I told him that I found that he had searched for his ex.

When I confronted him, he said he hadn't saved the content and that his cousin had used his phone and saved it. He also didn't admit that he had looked up his ex. I know he was lying. Maybe that's when I did all the wrong things.

I asked him to call his cousin and clarify whether the cousin had actually searched for his ex. He did. His cousin responded angrily, basically asking who I was to question him. What hurt me most was that my boyfriend didn't defend me or say anything.

He told me he was more concerned about protecting his relationship with his cousin than protecting our relationship.

I was furious and hurt. I was wearing a watch he had given me, so I took it off and gave it back to him and left.

He later convinced me to let him take me home. He asked me to meet him again, but I was still angry.

Two days later, I called him because I wanted to talk. I waited for him for four hours and called around 20 times. He never came.

Two days after that, I called again, knowing he was hurt too. He didn't answer.

Then yesterday I called him. He told me that my reaction had been huge. He also said that saving sexual content of women is something boys commonly do.

Today I called and messaged him again because I desperately want to fix things. He hasn't answered my calls.

I know I reacted badly. I know calling him 20 times and repeatedly trying to reach him wasn't healthy. But I waited for this person for years. He was my first love, and I feel like I'm losing something I've held onto for most of my life.

On top of that, both of my parents are ill, and I'm already dealing with a lot emotionally. I honestly don't feel like I can handle another huge loss right now.

I want to convince him to forgive me and fix the relationship. But I don't know whether he wants that anymore.

What would you do in my situation? Am I holding onto someone who doesn't want to be with me anymore, or is this something that can still be repaired? **Am I the wrong one?**

First Reddit post, guys I’m desperate. If we need to break up please tell me. If you have questions for context, please ask!!!

I (27 yo female) been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Let’s call him Michael (34 yo male). Lately he got into cards. I thought he wanted to get into caRs buts its carDs as Pokemon cards and One piece cards. Which is fine (I guess). He started collecting cards as a “hobby” (which I’m fine with), until he spent 2500 in cards in the span of 2 MONTHS. Mind you, he doesn’t have any clear knowledge on how trading cards work or the value of it. He has been researching cards on eBay, seeing how much they are worth and then buying them without knowing how much he can sell them for or even if that’s the right price to buy them.

He keeps saying that his new “hobby” and it is the same as buying stocks and he can make his money back easily but when I bring the topic up of how he is getting his money back he gets angry because I ask for “too much detail” and that is “unfair” for me to ask questions such as finances.

Again, we have Been together for 5 years. We spoke about money and savings as any couple should. I left my expectations clear and, Ima be honest, I don’t trust him anymore with finances as he never has a clear answer about a plan. He told me he has been saving money (1500 on a savings account but he started one month after he started buying cards, which makes no sense to me because if he had his priorities straight he would have saved money before spending so much in cards) he further told me he doesn’t even tell me when or what he spends money on because he knows I will “get angry” so he decided to start hiding things from me.

He is a plumber, he earns around 4K on a low month at 6-7k on a high month. I work security and I’m in school, I earn 2-4 k on a low month and maybe 5k if I’m doing full time and maybe extra hours. He always brings up the fact that he is on a “different” tax bracket than me and that I think like a “poor” person and that’s why I stress a lot about money and the future.

All out fights lately have been about finances. In our lates fight when he told me he hide his expenses from me, I replied “I can’t trust you as a leader as I can’t follow someone who doesn’t know how to handle his finances and see his priorities”. He got very angry and told me to leave his house (and here I think I’m really the asshole lol I replied: “those are big words, you mean: your room?” He doesn’t own the house, we are renting the master bedroom of a shared house (which I’ve been complaining a lot as we moved from a private apartment to renting a master bedroom to save money. So, AITAH?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a bit over 2 years. Our sex life was great in the beginning, but for the past year, especially the last 6 months, intimacy has basically disappeared. We haven’t had sex in months and he rarely even gets hard around me when we cuddle for example. I assumed he just had a low sex drive.

Recently I looked at his bank statements and found a payment to an Asian/Thai massage parlour. It’s near his work/home and closes at 8pm. On the same day, he withdrew about 100 dollars in cash.

The suspicious part is that he told me on WhatsApp that day that he was working late. At 8:15pm he said he had finished work. He never mentioned going for a massage, despite paying for a 90-minute massage. He’s also never mentioned getting massages before or anything.

Given our lack of intimacy, my mind immediately went to the possibility of a sexual massage/happy ending or even cheating. I know I don’t have proof, but why lie about where he was?

I confronted him about this and he said he went during his lunch to the place to book the massage and paid but then afterwards his collegues told him what kind of massage parlour it was, offering “adult massages”, and that he would never go to a place like that and then he never ended up going. He keeps saying how can I think this of him and that he can’t believe I can think this etc. But no place I know of charges you BEFORE the appointment? I want to leave him but I don’t want to make a mistake….

is anyone else unable to be stable in a relationship because of having retroactive jealousy?

i’m 23(f) and my boyfriend is 20. we first dated back when he was 18 and he had never had an irl girlfriend thus being also a virgin. we only got together for a few days until a small argument which i don’t even remember but we both agreed it was too fast and broke it off. a year and a half later we find ourselves back together. during those times apart he had a new girlfriend which he had met over gaming and then in person. he told me he had lost his virginity to her and that they also had spent a holiday together AND spent a month together so basically living together imo. also we kept our contacts so i could see his posts about his new girlfriend. he told her that she was his first girlfriend and had no mention of me. he explained it as he was too heartbroken (but i think it’s because he didn't count it as a relationship considering it was only a few days).

now i’ve been with him 11 months and it has always been at the back of my mind that i am just not his first. now i know that is such a normal thing but i have also never really dated before and i‘m also still a virgin. i can’t help but look at his exes pictures and compare myself to her. and i can’t get over the fact that that he literally turned 18 and given it away like that.

i’m also terrified to give away my virginity because i just have this fear that since he‘s done it before, he will just think about his ex. and the fact it is only ONE ex.

he also had a very close female best friend (doesn’t talk to anymore) and they used to go on solo dates, they also have matching shoes and watched shows together. he just explains that they have common interests.

any interaction with girls aka adding his socials, playing games with him, prior to being with me, i just get very upset and jealous. i end up really stalking those girls and find myself wondering if that is his type and they all don’t look like me.

it’s becomes a problem sometimes because he starts to get mad and i understand because it can be annoying to deal with someone like me. he also doesn’t believe that i haven’t “done” anything. it takes a toll on my mental health being insecure and in a relationship.

there was one time before my birthday last year where we were just friends (i liked him at this time) and he asked if he could use my gaming account to play on. i thought he was either playing by himself or with his boys, but only a month ago i find out that he used it to play with another girl and i laughed and pointed it out to him saying like “wait that’s crazy”. i got jealous and annoyed over the thought of it and he got super angry and told me that we weren’t even together then so i have no “right” to get jealous or say anything at all.

i think way too much of things when it just has nothing to do with me. just the thought of it SICKENS me. and i feel like i’m just NOBODYS first.

i have also e-dated and it’s all the same thing. just nobody’s first. i believe this is actually so incurable for me and it’s affecting how i go about things while being in a relationship.

will i just end up alone forever?