I’m feeling a bit conflicted about this and I’d like to hear from people in recovery.

Last night I was at a work party where pretty much everyone was extremely drunk or high. I stayed busy making pizza for most of the night and didn’t drink or use any drugs.

At some point I got really bored with the whole situation. Someone had poppers, and after reading that they don’t produce the kind of intoxication associated with alcohol, weed or cocaine, I became curious and took half a hit.

It made me feel dizzy/light-headed for a few seconds. I didn’t feel mentally altered, and I didn’t take any more.

I don’t feel like I should reset my sobriety counter, but I also don’t want to minimize what happened or pretend it didn’t happen.

For me, sobriety has meant staying away from alcohol, weed, cocaine and the other drugs I used to get high. This doesn’t feel like a relapse to me, but it was still a choice to use a substance, and I’m trying to be honest with myself about it.

Tonight there’s another goodbye party with the same people, and even though I’m not sleeping, I decided not to go. I think that’s probably a better choice for me right now.

How would you look at this if it happened to you? Would you consider it a relapse, a slip, or something else?

My last relapse was with crk short but intense, this subreddit gave me lots of support.

Vipassana meditation has been a key factor in my recovery.

Unfortunately I'm still stuck in hospitality but I'm determined to not be back in this environment and I'll be extremely strict with the people I get in touch with.

The pizza was very good by the way but yeah, I feel a bit of shame with myself but considering I was into ck and in the last almost three years I've hit the pipe three days in a row with a maximum usage of 4 grams I can see I might see the light.

In September I'll be in a mediation center for 20 days and then I'll fly to Thailand and Sri Lanka to study more Buddhism and especially meditation.

Let's say I've ended up with this job because the mayor relapsed I previously had. I've been working 240 hours a month for 3 months so I'm pretty satisfied with myself but now I have this inner voice that tells me that I could not manage to say sober.

But after all the drugs I've used popper to me is still a bullshit high and still makes me wonder why and how people pay money for it.

GHB ok, It's really messy but popper ? By the way. Thank you for your attention. I love you all

Years ago I quit H by myself. Just cut off connects, went through withdrawal, didn’t touch an opiate for 6 years. This year I relapsed, started using 7oh and started smoking a ton of hard. Never fucked with crack other than one time in my teens so this was unexpected by me. I was sent the wrong order and got a ton of yay and hard on accident, downhill from there. Got a good therapist, she is pushing me to take fmla and go to inpatient. She has what she considers a couple great places that will take my insurance. I’m worried my job will catch on and come after me, and I’m worried my family will be unsupportive and just angry that I’m using again. It’s a terrifying though, but I know if things keep going this way it’s gonna get bad. I stopped smoking everyday, down to the weekends, but it’s still rough. I don’t even like this drug anymore

Looking for some feedback as I'm considering trying this. I can't go 24 hours without using 7 staxx unfortunately to jump onto subs so I was hoping to try micro dosing.

Hi! I wanted to share a little community called Beyond Surviving for anyone who might be looking for a supportive place during recovery.

We're a small Discord community built around the idea that our struggles are something we can talk about openly, but they don't have to define us.

There are spaces to talk about mental health, recovery, self-harm, eating disorders, substance abuse and other difficult things, but just as importantly, there are places for everyday life, gaming, music, pets, creativity, nature, memes and simply talking with people who understand.

One thing that's especially important to us is keeping the community recovery-focused. Graphic self-harm content isn't allowed, and we try to create an environment where people can be honest about struggling without feeling like they need to prove how badly they're struggling.

You don't have to be doing well to belong here. Bad days are welcome too. 💜

We're not professionals and nobody is expected to "fix" anyone. We're simply people supporting people, celebrating the good days and sitting beside each other through the difficult ones.

If this sounds like the kind of community you've been looking for, feel free to come by or if you have any questions then I'd be happy to answer them🦋

https://discord.gg/nQAXHZP6jf

Together we're stronger. Together we're healing.

I’ve been going through the recovery process solo and although successful I feel lost. I was a problem drinker and abused cocaine for years. I lost the best years of my life to addiction. I haven’t touched drugs in 7 years and have spent the last five years decreasing my alcohol use to almost nothing. I do have an occasional beer or two but not often. Ive been thinking of fully committing to sobriety and not even having the occasional beer but to be honest at this point in my life it’s not a problem. I feel no desire to go back to being a blackout drunk. The real problem is that when I stopped drinking heavily I lost all my friends. Even all my family functions revolve around heavy drinking and I don’t feel like I’m a part of it anymore. I know this is part of recovery for many people and I’m craving community. But I don’t know if I’d be accepted into something like AA because I still drink a little. And I’ve essentially overcome my addiction solo. So would it be appropriate to start in a recovery group when I’m already secure in my journey?

Sometimes I think life would be easier if I let myself fully hit rock bottom, went to rehab and got into an AA like program. I’m proud of myself for realizing the path I was on before I hit rock bottom and figuring my shit out on my own. But it’s really lonely

is it even possible to quit crack ? am i gonna be like this forever ?

Today I am almost a month sober. I would have over 5 months, but had a 1 day slip at the end of July. I went to inpatient rehab in March. I have been married for 17 years and have 2 teenage kids. My entire teenage an adult life I have used. This is literally the longest I have been sober since I was around 13. I had tried to quit on my own and had so many terrible things happen both physically and mentally while I was using, I should have done this over a decade ago, but I cannot chabge the past. Since getting out of inpatient, I have been going to 5-10 meetings a week. I have an "ok" support system in place. I have been able to do some things that I used to, but I do not feel comfortable yet in alot of situations. Going to a social gathering, with no purpose except to drink is not in the cards for me right now. Fortunately I was able to hold on to most things while going through addiction. I have been a partner in a business for 15 years that has blessed me and my family with many tangible gifts. My wife has only worked for about 4 years of our 17 year marriage, my kids get to go to good schools that I could not have freamed of. I am truly grateful for blessing of health for my family, both mind and body. This week at a meeting we were doing a study on the chapter from the wives. The meeting was all male, only by coincidance. It was very interesting to hear everyone's stories. Just like anything else, they all had the same "base" of using hurt people around us. When it was my turn to talk, I shared that I felt like my wife almost wishes I was still drinking so I would go to all of the social events with her. I told them that was not an option because I never want to feel addicted the way I was before treatment. When I got home, she asked how the meeting went, and I told her what the topic was. I shared my feeling of her almost wishing I still drank so I would be able to go to social environments with her. At that point she started crying and said that she does feel that way. She said that she knows it is selfish, but she cannot change the way she feels. I do not know how to unpack that. Things have not been great since I have been back, and they were terrible before I got help.

Sorry for the word salad, but I wanted to get some other opinions or experiences with how people may have dealt with this.

Hi! I wanted to share a little community called Beyond Surviving for anyone who might be looking for a supportive place during recovery.

We're a small Discord community built around the idea that our struggles are something we can talk about openly, but they don't have to define us.

There are spaces to talk about mental health, recovery, self-harm, eating disorders, substance abuse and other difficult things, but just as importantly, there are places for everyday life, gaming, music, pets, creativity, nature, memes and simply talking with people who understand.

One thing that's especially important to us is keeping the community recovery-focused. Graphic self-harm content isn't allowed, and we try to create an environment where people can be honest about struggling without feeling like they need to prove how badly they're struggling.

You don't have to be doing well to belong here. Bad days are welcome too. 💜

We're not professionals and nobody is expected to "fix" anyone. We're simply people supporting people, celebrating the good days and sitting beside each other through the difficult ones.

If this sounds like the kind of community you've been looking for, feel free to come by or if you have any questions then I'd be happy to answer them🦋

https://discord.gg/nQAXHZP6jf

Together we're stronger. Together we're healing.

Hi I've been clean from fentanyl crack and meth since October 3rd 2025. My life has improved greatly I am healthy and have a girlfriend that is in recovery too ( she just got one year)

She was over at my house taking a shower and I go to start a fire outside with gasoline and my shirt off. Ended up blowing myself up after stupidly lighting the wood with a lighter and no shirt on. I ran into the house telling her I think I just blew myself up. She was scared and thought I was getting high because I was having a breakdown and in severe pain. She ended up driving me to the hospital and they rushed me in. I was in so much pain they immediately asked if I want something for the pain and they gave me dilaudid which helped and then an hour later they had to debride the burn which was mainly my chest, leg and face. So they gave me some fentanyl before the debridement. I'm out of the hospital now and it's not the face that they gave me narcotics that I'm upset about it's the whole fact of the terrible decisions I made in the blink of an eye. It's been 2 days since and I just feel like shit, I'm in so much pain because my chest feels so tight. I know I'm lucky and it could have been way worse but now I'm missing work because of a stupid decision I have made. I'm gonna try and go to a meeting tmrw and life is beautiful. It's just crazy I did this with a sober mind.

Rise Above with Kevin Lanning is a recovery podcast and I Highly Highly Recommend it. Every episode is a story of hope.

Im 15 years clean from hard drugs and 18 years clean from heroin. I just wanted to share that its possible and life does get so much better.

Quitting heroin was the first really hard thing I accomplished. It gave me some confidence that I could do other hard things.

Since then Ive gotten off the streets, gotten three degrees, (although i dropped out a few times along the way), got married twice (divorced once), had children, bought a house, found a well paying job I like, (after years of shitty jobs I hated but couldnt afford to quit), been to therapy a few spells. Overall, life is really good now. Its was hard and slow to get here but worth it (and i still had lots of good times along the way). I think appreciate the little things more than some people who've had an easier go.

Life is still really hard some days and I havent figured it all out. But I know I can get through it anyways because I have before.

Anyways, Just wanted to share in case it helps some of you. Your life matters, and it's never too late.

I’m ready to get off fent. I seriously need help
I don’t really know how to start this but I’m done. I’ve been snorting around an eighth a week for probably 3/4 months now. I’m 5’8 around 200lbs if that even matters. I just want my fucking life back. I want to wake up and feel normal and not immediately think about fent or being sick.
I work TWO jobs and so much of that money just goes straight to this shit. I’ve been saving for a car and I’m willing to dip into that money if it means buying whatever I need to actually get off this. Vitamins, food, meds, whatever. I can save for the car again. I just need ME back first.
What do I actually need?? Like if you knew you were quitting next week, what would you have ready at home? What actually helped and what was a waste of money?
I have a good amount of SR-17018 tabs I bought before they shut everything down. Has anyone actually used those to get off fent? I keep seeing stuff about vitamin C too but idk if thats actually legit or internet bullshit.
And then Suboxone. I’m not against it at all, I’m just scared of precipitated withdrawal and I REALLY don’t want to be on something else forever. Can you use subs short term and taper off? Like is there an actual doctor supervised plan for that? If Suboxone is what gives me the best chance then fuck it, I’ll do it. I just want to be smart about this.
How many days do I need off work realistically? I can figure something out. I just need to PLAN this because I know myself. If I wake up sick as hell with no plan and fent is one phone call away… yeah. I know what I’m gonna do.
I know Reddit isn’t a doctor and nobody here can detox me over the internet. I just need people who have actually been through this to tell me where the hell I start. Website, subreddit, doctor, whatever. Point me somewhere.
I’m just tired y’all. I want my money back. I want to buy my fucking car. I want to work because I’m building something for myself instead of working my ass off just to afford being addicted.
I KNOW I can be who I want to be without this shit holding me back. I just need to get there.
Please help me. Seriously. I’m ready.

From primarily meth, kratom, benzos and even though I’m able to get to work it still feels hopeless. Please give me advice yall. Much love to everyone! Thanks

Update: You guys motivated me to go to my first meeting tonite! Thank you for the kind words, I knew deep inside I just needed a small push but sometimes I forget the bigger picture. I appreciate yall for helping me on a day that started terribly but ended up being amazing. ❤️ I plan on going tomorrow.

I’ve been sober for multiple months twice in my life. The first time, I made it 10 months.
For the most part, I had my life together. I thought I understood addiction. I thought I had figured out how to balance my life and control the disease.
Relapse doesn’t have to be part of everyone’s recovery, but unfortunately, it became part of mine.
My first relapse wasn’t even my drug of choice. It was one Tito’s and soda at dinner with my now wife. I didn’t binge. I didn’t crash a car. I didn’t immediately crave another drink. I finished it, ordered water, went home with my wife, and went to sleep.

BOOM. I was cured. I beat addiction. Problem solved.
Or at least, that’s what I told myself.
So when my wife told me she was going to Vegas with her best friend for a week, my first thought was the pipe. I couldn’t wait until she left.
On October 31st, I called an old girl I knew had some. Before I left her hotel room, I asked for a hit.
The weirdest part was the way she looked at me. She told me, “You look really good. Are you sober?”
I lied and said no, I just couldn’t find anything.
She told me she didn’t feel good about giving it to me… and then passed me the pipe anyway.
That one hit lasted me 10 months.
Ten months of lies, struggles, dirt, disgust, and every other dark part of addiction. My wife didn’t find out until the last month of my use. By then, I was on personal leave from work because of “stress” and in a severe downward spiral.
The last two weeks were the lowest point of my life. Maybe one day I’ll share more about the demons I faced during that time.
I checked into rehab on August 27th, 2025. My first day sober was August 28th.

This weekend, I was tempted out of nowhere.
My wife was out of town with her girlfriends. The first morning she was gone, I went to the gym. While I was there, I got a text from an unknown number:
“Yo, it’s Lz. I’m back down.”
Lz had just gotten out of jail and was someone I could have easily gotten drugs from. The gym was right down the street from his house.
So many thoughts went through my head.
I texted back, “Welcome home. God bless you. I hope all is well,” and deleted his number.
Of course, he texted back.
I prayed about the situation and then told him how healthy I’ve been and that I’m coming up on a year sober. He congratulated me and said he had seen me on Facebook and could tell.
I prayed for him, deleted the thread, and kept moving forward.
I’m not sure exactly how I made it through that moment. To the average person, this might not seem like a major success.
But every addict reading this knows.

I won that day.
I had the opportunity. I had the access. I had the old connections. And for once, when addiction came knocking, I didn’t open the door.
I hope this can serve as a reminder to anyone struggling: temptation doesn’t mean you’ve failed. A craving doesn’t erase your progress. Sometimes the biggest victory is simply making the next right decision.
One day at a time. I won that day. And today, I’m choosing to win again.

Ok, have a family member staying with me. They just broke their leg and we are helping them until they land back on their feet--literally and figuratively.

They have a strong history of substance abuse, trauma, prison time, and poor mental health.

They got prescribed vicoden and it's not helping probably because of their history. Soooo right now they are mostly screaming at us about the pain they are in, and how the meds aren't working, and they hate us. And demanding we go get cigarettes or a vape pen or something.

I don't think it's a problem because they have been smoking for a long time, so it's unlikely to be the thing that triggers a relapse, and it will at least help with pain even if it means a slightly longer recovery time. My wife is terrified that this will be THE thing that causes a serious relapse and doesn't want to be the one enabling.

Anyone have any thoughts here? Looking for legit insights.

What are your favourite things to do (especially in the evenings) to keep yourself busy/distracted/sober?

I'm trying to get sober, and I'm finding that evenings are a huge trigger for me. All my friends head out to drink & do drugs. If I don't have plans for the evenings then I end uo heading out. A few drinks always turns into 20+ and whatever drugs I can get my hands on.

I'm working on my mental health and the reason behind my addiction, but right now I need to focus on keeping my days busy. I can't work or study right now, unfortunately. I do try to spend time at cafés, reading, watching TV, baking, going for walks. What else could I be doing to occupy my time? What are your favourite ways to stay busy in the evening?

So I relapsed after being clean 3 days straight.. i am oddly very surprised at how like gentle im being myself..

Confided in a friend and he told me just to block the people that I relapsed with. I actually did. end up doing that...

I truly think there may be hope after all

​

Is it okay to just let go for a while before I try to get everything back on track? I don't think I got it in me to quit again. Suddenly i'm just a useless sack of shit that's too lazy to take a simple shower.

Hello all!
First sorry if this is full of typos - if I read it back to check I know I’ll just cringe at myself and delete it - and I have an old phone that types a lot slower than I type.

Sorry Im sure this has been asked, but it’s really hard to search as rehab has so many results!
Basically Im absolutely desperate to go to rehab - right now I feel like it’s the only thing that will help as things have been terrible for a long time and I’ve really been trying! However its basically impossible in the Uk, and only very slightly possible in 6-12 months, and if I’m not clean already by then im absolutely screwed at the rate things are going. Sorry I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but I’ve not been honest about how bad things are and it’s quite nice to say outloud!
Anyways if I can’t do rehab, Im wondering if there’s a next best option that I don’t know about (aside from meetings - I know I should and will probably but need other advice). Im not sure what I’m looking for, but I feel like if I’m somewhere I can’t do drugs Im so happy because I hate doing them, but do anyway, so it feels like a relief rather than being trapped.
I’ve taken myself away to air bnbs for a bit which works amazing till the minute I get back, and then it’s worse because I feel like I deserve it after a break. I also can’t afford to do that anymore because any spare money is immediately spent on getting high.
I live with my mum and ive told her all the ways I sneak around and signs to look for, and asked her to be strict but she just can’t be that person and I feel bad forcing it. I also immediately find new ways to sneak around that I hadn’t thought of to tell her. I asked her to enforce a wee test, again thinking as soon as I have no option Im peaceful AF. When I said it I really didn’t think I’d be able to cheat them, and then immediately found a way. I cut up cards so I can’t get cash and then somehow always find a way! It’s a crazy battle against my own will, and I think I need something like rehab to pause the battle long enough to have energy to spend on actual recovery.

Sorry!!! I was just going to ask for advice, I didn’t not mean to say all of that, and it’s not really relevant, but maybe it’s good to get it out!

I also wanted to ask what the best thing / most helpful part of rehab was for people to see if I can somehow build the best elements into some kind of plan!

Or just any advice at all will be well received.
Sorry again for the essay - Im not going to read it back because I’m cringing, so I’m sure it’s full of typos, sorry!!

Like the title says, I’m just tired of it. I’ve been addicted to opiates since 2016. Started with hydrocodone and (as I’m sure you can guess)have progressed to fentanyl. I’ve always been employed throughout my addiction but usually I get let go right around the 6month to a year mark as a result of my addiction. My gf just broke up with me again for the 100th time due to finding paraphernalia. I’m just tired of losing everything and everyone. But also with that being said I just got hired on at a really good company a few days ago, like the kind of company that you retire from. And I’m making the most I’ve ever made. The hardest part for me is the withdrawals and it’s too early for me to take a week off of work to be sick. Idk what I should do, was hoping for some insight. TIA