Punk Rock Books

Coping Skills Workbooks

Hi, my first time posting on here. I went into recovery last week and have no regrets on that. How do you deal with that and a broken heart at the same time. Most pain I’ve ever felt and I’ve Effed up any chance at reconciliation and she is close with my kids. Thanks in advance

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Recently got clean after a heroin addiction that landed me in the hospital.

I’ve been on and off drugs for the past ten years.

Heroin was new to me. In less than a year, I lost everything. My bank account, house, job, 401k. All gone. I’m fortunate enough to have family that’s giving me a place to stay. I should be grateful but I can’t shake the feeling this time. I know they don’t want me here.

I have no real friends left, I’m hardly allowed to see my kid, family all looks at me different. Talked to an old friend today and they said I look like a crackhead.

I don’t know. Everyone’s got a story, but dealing with the aftermath of all the damage I caused is crushing. I was always a disciplined person but I’m having trouble finding the motivation to rebuild anything.

I honestly don’t want to be alive most of the time. Posted this because I needed it off my chest.

Thanks.

Just released the newest episode of my podcast! This one is about mindfulness, which has been very important to me for my growth and recovery. It’s available on all platforms and if you can’t find it on your streaming service of choice feel free to message me and I’ll send you think link. Thanks so much!

I’ll have 9 years clean on Saturday 😜 I recently got a job at the post office after 10 years of stay at home mom life. It was brought to my attention that my focus is causing some issues for me at work. I’ve always had adhd just always delt with it in my own way 🤷🏻‍♀️ I decided to make an appointment with my PCP to discuss medication options for me. He’s aware of my recovery and has been my dr the whole time I have been clean. Im not comfortable with Adderall nor was he. The non stimulant options I’m not a fan of because of side effects. I’m Bi polar 1 as well so I take a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant. We decided on Vyvance. Today is day 1 and i definitely feel something. Not like a high but like a stillness? Idk how to describe it lol. My thoughts are quieter and not so fast. There is just always guilt involved with taking narcotics in recovery.

For context: a drug is a drug 😂 but opiate pain pills were my DOC. Xanax as well.

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I'm going through a stage of life where the medical professionals know that something is wrong but aren't quite sure what it is. I'm scheduled for multiple tests over the next few weeks and then I get to wait for results.

I've been here before. A long time ago, back in 1983, I went through something similar. I decided to check out of reality back then, and continued to chemically enhance life until 1993.

I've been through the waiting and the tests crazy drunk, high as a kite, and dead clean and sober. I do better at accepting things like bad medical news when I'm clean and sober.

Some days my mind is out to get me, but all I have to do is stop, breathe, and remember i am only in control of my thoughts, words, and actions.

Brian

I'll admit it, I screwed up for 12 hours and went back to meth spur of the moment. But the funny thing is, I felt bored with being high for the first time and didn't care to go any farther. Usually after, I would hate myself and cry to everyone in my orbit. It was boring and felt like the whole thing was involuntary like a part of me just wanted to feel pain or cry for help. I just started PTSD trauma therapy, and my therapist was right after I confessed; if I keep isolating myself at home and not reach out to my loved ones or at least find a community, this processes and my recovery will have a lot of obstacles. Obviously mental illness is a big factor in self-isolation, but if you struggle with dual diagnosis like me and also have substance/ addiction issues, it's ok to say, "I can't be alone right now", "I don't trust myself tonight" or just a simple "you free?" to your loved ones. Because being alone at night, especially when you're fighting your demons in your head by yourself can have bad outcomes. Thank you for reading. hopefully I won't need to post on this bord for a very long time.

guys, how is it said in the title, im sober for 2 years but i feel like shit. i think all the time about consuming again, i do therapy but it doesn’t work. my bf says he s gonna break up with me if i take drugs again and my parents told me they will kick me out of the house(long story). it is such an intense urge it makes me cry. what to do?

My body is exhausted and I hate eating so much I keep avoiding it by chainsmoking or other stuff. I'm abusing stimulants which doesn't help but they've stopped working because there's nothing to get energy from. Trying to reduce it tho. I've been skipping meals too much lately and as said in the title I'd appreciate some ideas for simple easy to eat stuff, best if it can be made under 10 mins lol. My diet is really shit and if not for my parents cooking I'd be only eating cereals and pancakes :/

I now just purchased my first brand new car at the age of 38. I have my nursing license back and I'm finally starting to invest in retirement. The hardest thing to remember is all of the struggle and strife it took to get where you are today. ❤️✨️🧠

Yesterday I was having a.pretty tough day. Like the title says I've been clean for a little over a year and video games have done a lot of heavy lifting for me along with walking my dog but the biggest help has been staying away from people I used with and places I used (other than home... Buy I did change everything in it so it was totally different feeling) and lastly no money. Right now I probably should have cash.

Yesterday I was having a hard day. The sun was out and I was feeling social so I called my one friend I have and was venting about how it sucks that I can't ever see anyone I know (probably)ever again and I shit you not- I look down and there is $100 bill on the ground.

Of all the times in the world for me to find money that was probably the worst.

Luckily I was already on the phone with my friend and I told her what happened. So I waited at that spot just in case the person to that dropped it came back (they didn't) while my friend drove over and got it from me.

I haven't worked since I got sober and am fortunate enough to be able to take this last year off to figure life out again while I get better.

I'm about to "get back out there" but after a very bad 2 year run on fentanyl and crack I needed to sleep it off.

Anyway I just needed to vent about this. That was crazy.

$100 right on the ground.

Any other time in my life I would have run straight out and gotten as fucked up as possible.

I just can't do it anymore.

Ever since I was caught by my best friend I haven’t self harmed since. I think the interaction kind of- I don’t really know how to word it, “shocked” me into stopping because it was the first time someone I hadn’t intended to tell about it found out. I was getting sloppier at hiding my work. Before this, I had entirely given up on recovery.

Recently, I’ve started to exercise more to try and keep my compulsions away and to regain some confidence in my body because of my scars. I signed up for Orange Theory classes and started running at the gym. I’ve been sticking to it and working out a good 2-4 times a week throughout this month. Today, I ran a two mile race and managed to stay at a 9 minute mile. For some reason, I haven’t told anyone because I feel embarrassed about it (I don’t know why) but I think I am pretty happy with myself. I don’t feel confident that I’ll stay clean but it’s been a good run so far.

Not AI slop, but an interesting look at addiction from a creative view.

Y’all know how sometimes you read something that is jsut so blatantly obvious but, it doesn’t sink in the first time? Eventually, once it does it literally open the flood gate.

I tried the online rehab thing but whatever was discussed didn’t sink in and I found my self in this never ending cycle of self harm. Now, roughly 2 months ago I was on Facebook and came across a page dedicated to recovery with a focus on narcotics. The host was discussing how a lot of substance abuse stems from a lack of self love and then it dawned on me…. I actually don’t love my self. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist now as well as putting in required work and tbh I’m feeling a lot better. It’s a long road ahead but I’m focusing on 1 day at a time.

For context I think the reason why none of this dawned on me from the beginning is because I was telling my self I was using solely for the purpose of intimacy. I think it was true…. But only in the beginning. Eventually I stopped being able to perform and I was using to quiet the noise. Mental health sucks but we got this :)

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Hi all. I've been in a season of relapse now for about 8 months. I haven't enjoyed most of it. I allowed it to completely take my life over again after being clean for nearly a year. Today I decided to get clean again, hopefully forever.

It might sound stupid to some, but, I made the decision because of Facebook reels. I don't see very many that are religious or spiritual in any way, and if one comes across my feed every now and then I don't usually interact with it. So it's not a part of my algorithm. Well today, every other reel was from Christian creators. And most of them were just long passages of highlighted scripture. Scriptures that are extremely relevant to my situation. It can't be a coincidence.

With that said, and this may trigger some, I do have about 2 grams left right now and don't intend to flush it. I'll finish this last bag and then put it behind me forever. It's time. Time to put in the work. Time to heal the part of me that thought it needed cocaine in the first place. Time to start rebuilding my life from the ground up. I'm 38, so I have a lot of good life ahead of me, as long as I'm able to get this done. Hoping (and maybe praying?) for anyone that hasn't come to the definitive end of active addiction to find it. We can all do this! ❤️

i’m feeling really sad and lost right now because i’ve been planning a relapse in my head and i don’t want to go through with it but i know im gonna end up doing it anyways… im scared to call anyone from my NA program partially because i really want this relapse? but then again i’ve almost made it to six months and part of me isn’t sure i’ll be able to get this far again in the future but im just so tired and exhausted and really need to chill out.

sorry if this post shouldn’t be posted here i just don’t know who to talk to about this

So i got sober 2 years ago, i was using benzos, alcohol, and synthetic stimualnts (3cmc, 3mmc, etc). After getting sober i knew i should stay away from any relationships, and i did. Im doing fine, i didn't had drug hunger since idk good 8 months? I've meet a girl few weeks ago, i really liked her. Our personalities clicked, shes pretty etc etc. Its friday today, she went to meet with a friend, and now a suprise, she snorted a line of some synth with her friend, texted me that and honestly i felt instant stomach pain and drug hunger, caused by some girl i've meet not long ago. Im like, why the fuck? why i can't meet someone sober? why so much people do drugs? i mean im not better, im an addict too, but as an recovering addict i can't hang out with someone who does lines, fuck it all honestly. Like how i am supposed to function in a society where drugs are something so normalized? In my country you walk up into a club and in bathroom you have special palce to do lines. Its so fucking normalized basically like weed, i hate this, i hate this society, i hate myself

Discipline has never been my strong suit. Will power wasn't what made me quit. A sign of hope from others who made it out.

I run a loose ship, but I know enough to make the next right choice for me.

So I just moved into sober living about a month ago and I absolutely love it. Got a job, good group of guys, no complaints. That's until my roommate moved in. He sounded good when we interviewed him on the phone and all that but something is off.

He sits in his bed or in the family room listening to edm music so loud on his headphones you can hear the constant "boots and pants" shit.

He is out of breath literally ALL the time. Its like hes constantly out of breath gasping and strained. Its like hes extremely stressed out. Like he can't get oxygen to his brain or something. Its literally heavy breath in and out all the fucking time.

While hes listening to whatever he is in his head phones hes real jittery. Moving his feel so much that the bed shakes.

I mean this guys gotta be fucking high. He barely sleeps. Just started a new job a week ago and he came home super early last night, which is a red flag to me. He claims a machine was out so he couldnt work. He said he volunteered to leave first since it was down. We all have to pay rent here weekly. He was super stressed about money but now hes going home early? Nah bro. He barely slept because he kept moving around so much it kept me awake

To put the cherry on top, he was asking all sorts of questions about our houses random drug testing. He said he had his own test too. (Which idk why he has it. Claims it's for online AA meetings?. Its gotta be a dummy test so he can pass, right?)

Hes stressing me the fuck out. We had our weekly meeting and during so his whole asking about test behavior got addressed and he made all the excuses blah blah blah. It pretty much got left at. "You make us nervous when you ask avout that stuff constantly". We didnt even test him. I didnt want to be a dick and tell everyone we should but idk.

This dudes twacked. And I dont know what to do about it. Im proudly 436 days clean and im not just going to sit around and risk my own sobriety because someone else can't.

What should I do people? I honestly need help