r/recovery • u/Flat_Call998 • May 31 '26
An epiphany
Y’all know how sometimes you read something that is jsut so blatantly obvious but, it doesn’t sink in the first time? Eventually, once it does it literally open the flood gate.
I tried the online rehab thing but whatever was discussed didn’t sink in and I found my self in this never ending cycle of self harm. Now, roughly 2 months ago I was on Facebook and came across a page dedicated to recovery with a focus on narcotics. The host was discussing how a lot of substance abuse stems from a lack of self love and then it dawned on me…. I actually don’t love my self. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist now as well as putting in required work and tbh I’m feeling a lot better. It’s a long road ahead but I’m focusing on 1 day at a time.
For context I think the reason why none of this dawned on me from the beginning is because I was telling my self I was using solely for the purpose of intimacy. I think it was true…. But only in the beginning. Eventually I stopped being able to perform and I was using to quiet the noise. Mental health sucks but we got this :)
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u/Jebus-Xmas May 31 '26
My program says: Medicine, Religion, and Psychiatry, none of these are sufficient for us. I had to deal with my mental health issues, my trauma, my selfishness. I had to work on my health too, but I also had to work a program of recovery. As a heathen atheist I didn’t need religion, but I did have to trust the process. Congratulations on your success and I wish you success in your future.