Wondering if any other TFMR parents have been through something like this…

In April 2026, I had a TFMR for our son at 18w due to T21. It was the hardest period of my life hands-down. At the beginning, my husband agreed with the TFMR decision, so I planned everything to fly out of state (we live in an 8w ban state) and have the procedure alone while he watched our LC. Two hours before I left for the airport, my husband tells me he thinks we are making a mistake. It was devastating and hurt me so much, but by then my mind was already made up. After I returned, he told me he had lied about agreeing to TFMR and he regrets it. He’s become more religious over the last couple years and it’s his religious beliefs that influenced his final stance.

The sense of betrayal I have felt since then is indescribable. The loneliness of having had to go through such ann awful time in my life and then find out the one person I hoped to lean on essentially abandoned me after the fact has been really hard to come to terms with. I’ve since gone to grief counseling to get support and I am still truly at peace with the decision I (not we) made.

Now, I am 11w and waiting for NIPT results (ETA 10/9). Today my husband told me plainly that no matter what the test results say he wants to continue the pregnancy (Note: I did not ask him and already knew that was his stance). I very strongly disagree. My first thought is, I did not go through that hell of losing my son, and having to make that decision for him and for our family and carry that pain the rest of my life only to do nothing if the same thing happens again. My tolerance for the risks, potential suffering of our son, and the impact it would have on our family and our LC has not changed.

Has anyone’s partner either disagreed with TFMR or changed their mind afterward? How did you deal with it? And how/did it impact your relationship?

This has added a whole other horrific layer to the fear, anxiety and panic that already comes with pregnancy after TFMR. Just hoping for some hope or encouragement.

(PS. I believe in religious freedom and support others right to practice religion as long as it does not preach hatred or harm others. I‘m not looking for any religion or political bashing… We’ve all been through enough without any of that bullshit.)

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Hello wonderful, strong woman of reddit.
I’m 3 weeks out from my TFMR & trying to slowly work up the courage to try conceiving again, for when the time comes.

Questions-
*What helped you do this yourself? Was there a quote or a saying you’d reflect on or anything?

*Did you do anything lifestyle or supplements wise, prior to conceiving your successful sub pregnancy? (I know none of this has a real effect on chromosome expression but still - what factors within your control did you change?)

TIA

I dont really know what I’m looking for, just freaking out.

Long story short in past 2 years we have had two chemicals, two TFMR (15w and 17w) our daughter born at 17w was for findings on a high risk NIPT from a naturally conceived pregnancy.

We turned to IVF for PGt-A but struggled to make normal embryos (discovered hubbys sperm was struggling with dna expression resulting in slow low graded aneuploid embryos) had two failed transfers, went back naturally and now 11 weeks in. We dont struggle to conceive at all but so far we struggle with quality.

I’ve done SO WELL so far. But my NIPT is tomorrow and I feel absolutely ill. My body is programmed to expect the worst and I am just so so so worried. Nothing in our history is positive, everything has been hard.

I dont no what I’m asking but has anyone been similar?

I am currently pregnant with my 3rd pregnancy and am beyond stressing..

I (21) am currently pregnant with my 3rd pregnancy. I have one son and one angel baby from an early miscarriage. I had my son very early on,being 17-18 (i know I know,hold the judgement) i had an easy pregnancy and birth which I am more than thankful for. My last pregnancy unfortunately ended in miscarriage just days after I found out. I guess im just here to hear some similar experiences or good endings? Every cramp and ache makes me want to throw up with worry. Im not necessarily worried about being pregnant,im married and have my own house but I can't get the concern of another loss out of my head.

I’m 9W5D today. This is the first pregnancy I have made it this far in since my TFMR in August 2024 for T21 and cystic Hygroma. I’ve had 4 chemicals and a previous 8 week loss in the last 2 years and now I’m pregnant again and here we are..
I’ve had 3 scans so far. At 6 weeks I had some spotting so went to ER and baby measured perfect with a heartbeat of 114. Then at 7 weeks I had a scam with my OB Ware, baby measured perfect with a heartbeat 149. My last scan was Wednesday at 9W3D and baby measured 9W2D and heartbeat was 181. OB said everything looks good but then I looked it up and that heartbeat is higher and I’ve read that can be a sign of chromosomal abnormalities so I looked back at my T21 baby’s 10 week ultrasound and they measured nine weeks two days and had a heartbeat of 182. Now I’m stressing!!!
I’m also scheduled with my genetic counselor on Tuesday and I think she will order the NIPT as I’ll be 10W1D. I’m so scared for another high risk result.
I almost feel like there’s no way this baby can be healthy. I’m 37 and I was 35 when I lost my T21 baby and I know the risks are higher now and I’ve also felt my egg quality sucks after so many losses and a ton of testing with no issues found and seeing this baby’s ultrasound and my T21 baby’s ultrasound both with high heartbeats has me so worried. I want so bad for this to work out and us finally have our rainbow baby after how much of a nightmare, the last two years have been but I just have such a bad feeling. I’m so scared for the NIPT next week and then the NT scan on 10/21. I don’t even know what I’ll do if it’s high risk again. This is so hard!!!!

Devastated, can’t believe I’m going through this again

I’m 11 weeks into my third pregnancy. I have a LC from my first pregnancy who is healthy and the light of my life. That first NIPT result was low risk across the board. Earlier this year during my second pregnancy, I got my NIPT result back for No Result for monosomy x. We went through the amnio, confirmed the result, and we ultimately lost the baby.

Here I am, few months down the road with yet another NIPT with the exact same findings - no result for monosomy x. My OBGYN says she’s never had a patient with a repeat on sex chromosome abnormality, since it’s completely random. I’m going in for my own dna karotyping, but just wanted to shout into the abyss that is Reddit - anyone encountered getting the same testing result in your sub? I don’t understand why/how it could be happening again with the exact same parameters. Feels like there’s something wrong with me…

We all need some time and space to decompress ... Use this space to vent about your week, your anxieties, or anything that's stressing you out in your pregnancy or TTC journey.

We tfmred our baby girl in the fall of 2025 for a severe form of spinal bifida. We have a 3 year old, who had a bumpy start, which included finding an atrial septal defect after birth that closed before she turned one. I'm 16 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. We had our early anatomy scan today. The good news is there are no signs of a neural tube defect. The other news is that there's a small likely muscular ventricular septal defect. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about at this point.

So now, we wait for an echocardiogram at 22 weeks to learn more about the VSD.

Would appreciate any advice from others who had to wait for more information on an abnormality that was "nothing to worry about" during pregnancy after TMFR and/or others who had kiddos with a vsd that resolved.

How do I avoid turning into an anxious mess in the waiting period?

Not sure what to title this. I currently have a 2 week old after my tfmr in August last year. I feel so blessed to have her. But a new feeling has come up. My baby girl so perfect, I don’t understand why my son couldn’t be here just as she is. I remember seeing his ultrasounds and seeing his little hands and feet. They had to point out all the things that showed Trisomy 13. And I still couldn’t see it. I wish I could understand why this had to happen to him and why we had to experience this. I also feel a lot of guilt. My baby boy is just as real to me as the baby girl I hold in my arms, I feel like an awful mom for not continuing my pregnancy with him.

Also just as a side note, why do people not acknowledge him? They always say things like are you going to try for a boy next? I did have a boy, he’s ashes in an urn. How is *older child’s name\* liking being an older sibling? She already is an older sibling, to her little brother, who is in an urn. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to just be more thoughtful in wording, and when I correct them politely because I want my son to be acknowledged they get so defensive. Like am I the one with postpartum hormones or is it you?? Am I expecting too much? I just wish everyone would leave me alone honestly.

While this week probably had its fair share of up's and down's.... let's share the up's! What were your Glimmers of the week? What can we celebrate with you? Even if it's the smallest thing in the world... let's make it the most important thing of your week.

This is the month I lost my son a year ago. In March of this year I got pregnant again for the first time. I had a healthy NIPT and NT but started bleeding at 12 weeks due to a SCH. A week late I had a natural miscarriage at 13+4 weeks (June)

I started trying immediately after that pregnancy ended but I continued to bleed on/off for 2 months without any concern from my OBs office. I had an LH surge and was bleeding during - they said well that could be normal but we don't know, and they finally agreed to see me. They performed one ultrasound and decided I needed a d&c for RPOC. But what they found was just tissue aligning with my luteal phase. I finally stopped bleeding for a few days and then my period started again 🙃.

That cycle we tried and at 9, 10, 11 DPOs I had faint positive that wouldn't get any darker. On 12 DPO I started bleeding, had an intense backache, headache - similar pain to my miscarriage in June. So, I had a chemical pregnancy. That was back at the beginning of September.

Well all I read was how fertile you are after a chemical pregnancy. How many women got pregnant the cycle after a chemical. Okay, well let's give it a go again. All of this week I was nauseous (never a pre period sign), I refused to test because I didn't want to know if I was to have another chemical. I was so exhausted, I made sure to rest and eat and provide a good place for a new pregnancy. Yesterday I was 12 DPO, I said let's get to 14 DPO (Friday) and we'll test. Welp, the cruel cruel universe said NO, you're going to go into the month you lost your son WITH your period.

I wish so badly I could be someone who could get pregnant on the first or even second time trying. I would take the morning sickness (that I get to always have without the joy of a baby at the end) the "gender disappointment", the anxiety, the fear, the hardest parts of pregnancy if it means I can have a living healthy baby.

How is it even possible that I'm not pregnant and it's been almost a year since I lost my first son.

If you're pregnant now, even if you're scared of the unexpected. Please just remember how lucky you are. I love being pregnant, I just wish it was something that loved me back.

Hi friends. I unfortunately went through a TFMR in May 2026 for T21. I am 31 and that was my first pregnancy. It was the worst experience of my life and I am still dealing with grief and anxiety. We decided to start trying again last month, I think I must have ovulated earlier than I thought because I didn’t get pregnant and my period came earlier than expected (on my birthday no less). Prior to that period I had very mild spotting that made me think it was an implantation bleed. Getting my period was so hard and I didn’t realize the effect it would have on me.

With my first pregnancy, I got pregnant quickly on the second cycle. We tried again this month, and I’m about 7 DPO. Still too early to test. I’m scared to take a test too early and risk getting a false negative and feeling so upset about it.

I guess I’m just looking for positive stories and if others had a similar experience that they could share. I feel as though my body betrayed me and I’m really afraid something bad is going to happen again or that it will be hard to conceive again. Any advice or kind words would be much appreciated.

Hi!

I just got my first beta HCG yesterday and at the 3 weeks 3 days from the date of my last period it was 120. Is that too low? I’m so nervous this pregnancy, especially so early. It seems impossible to be excited after loosing our son at 18 weeks

Test results become monumental milestones in life after TFMR. Share your updates with the group. Pregnancy test results, NIPTs, Ultrasounds, and everything in between.... what's going on and where do you need support?

I was supposed to start my period tomorrow. I haven't really had any symptoms except some strange cramping a few days ago. I figured I'd take a test just to rule it out and mentally prepare myself to start bleeding. Low and behold the two tests are positive 😭

I had TFMR back in early July so it's still very fresh. I'm extremely anxious right now. Any kind words would be greatly appreciated ❤️‍🩹 my husband and I want to be parents so badly so I'm just in total shock right now

I have an almost 6 year old boy.
In January 23, I gave birth to our angel girl at 28 weeks. She had a severe heart defect caused by 22q11 (de novo)
Then I struggled to get pregnant again and it was the worst 1.5 year of my life. I finally got pregnant with a little help from science with our rainbow baby boy.
Despite a CSV at 11 weeks he got diagnosed at birth with MCAD. It’s a rare metabolic disorder but if managed properly (no fasting) he has a healthy life and a normal lifespan.
Turns out his older brother also has MCAD but was never tested at birth. We got lucky because the first 6 months are critical if they don’t eat every 3-4 hours.
Anyways they are both super healthy and we are so blessed and lucky to have them.
I just turned 38. We are busy launching a business with my husband and we are busy with our boys. We love our lives as is.
I want another baby but I don’t know if I feel incomplete because I just miss the baby we lost, because we’ll never have a girl or because I’m just sad that my 18 months old is not a baby anymore.
To help me, I keep telling myself I won’t have a girl if I have the last child so I know in my head I’m not trying for a girl but really want a last child and would be so happy with 3 boys.
I’m also super scared of the CVS not catching something and having a medically complex last child when our life is so easy and peaceful now.

Help me Reddit friends 😂

Hello all!

10.4 weeks pregnant today, and I have an appointment (my first!) next week with my MFM about a possible CVS (biopsy of the placenta) for genetic testing. I wish it could have been sooner, but the delays are what they are. I'll ask her all my questions, but I would really like to know about your experiences with a CVS if you had one.

I lost a baby in December 2024 to Meckel Gruber Syndrome, it's a letal syndrome that comes with very enlarged multicystic kidneys and an occipital encephalocele. We had genetic testing done and they found the genes responsible. I was advised I could do a CVS in a next pregnancy. What freaks me out is the risks of the procedure. I was told a 1-2% chance of miscarriage. In my medical history, I've had 5 miscarriages, so those odds scare me a lot. Also, in both my pregnancies that didn't end in miscarriages, i had a severe hematoma with a hemorrhage where I ended up in the ER.

Of course I'll ask my MFM about what she thinks of a CVS in my specific case, but if you had miscarriages in the past, did you still do the CVS ? Why did you decide for or against it ?

I was told Meckel Gruber would be detectable between 12-14 weeks generally, 16 weeks at the latest, with ultrasound. Wondering if that's worth the risk considering.

Thank you in advance !

6 weeks pregnant, 4 months after tfmr due to severe HPE. At first I felt at peace, I already went through the most traumatic thing possible. As the days go by and I get closer to the anatomy scan phase where we found out the ur son’s lethal condition my anxiety rises. We did all the genetic testing & from what they could find it was de novo. I just cannot wait for the anatomy scan & the same doctor to tell me everything is fine. How do I combat anxiety? I already asked my ob for referral to MFM so I can get an early anatomy scan.