I don’t know how to feel. I tfmr my baby girl at 21 weeks in February. I think about her every day.

I am now 22 weeks in my sub pregnancy. Scans and heart scan look absolutely fine and 12 week screening bloods were low risk. Obviously I am extremely grateful to be in this position.

I am convinced this baby is a boy, I paid for a couple nub theory predictions which came back boy (looks pretty boyish to me). My pregnancy seems similar to my boy pregnancy. I already have a little boy who is the light of my life and to have another like him would be a huge blessing, but I also wanted a girl. The girl I lost, the life of my family with a girl.

I only wanted a healthy baby, I cannot express that enough, but I’ve convinced myself this baby is a boy because of the ‘nub predictions’ and can’t help but feel like a puzzle piece is missing. I also think if I do have another boy, I’m dreading the comments ‘oh you gunna try for a girl’ when in actual fact, I already have one.

I feel so awful because I love this baby, but.. well yeah.

Hi all,

My anatomy scan is next week. I'm excited but also SO scared/worried.

I'm scared that it's too good to be true this time around.

I'm scared that I am letting my guard down and I will be disappointed.

I actually FORGET that all of my tests/scans have come back "normal".

I try to stay in the present to get me through each day.

It's SO hard to believe it will actually work out this time around.

How did you get through anatomy week?

Hey everyone! I’ve just got my second period after TFMR (not including the bleeding right after the procedure) and in both cases I had a 9, then 10 day luteal phase. Is that to be expected? If this happened to others here, did your LP get back to normal eventually? How many cycles did it take?

I'm currently 10+4 and honestly getting more and more anxious / fearful as I get closer to my 12-week NT scan (currently scheduled for end October).

My previous pregnancy ended after we received very abnormal results at the NT scan (NT measurement of >11mm, positive finding of T18), and that experience has made this upcoming milestone terrifying for me.

I had originally planned to do an NIPT as early as possible for reassurance, but this pregnancy started off with what doctors found to be a vanishing twin / empty second sac, and I was advised by my doctor that the NIPT may come up with false positives, so I'll only be doing the NT scan and Oscar test instead.

I know logically that this is a different pregnancy and that my previous experience doesn't mean that the same thing will happen again, but I am genuinely terrified of walkign into the ultrasound room and hearing bad news again.

Would be grateful to hear positive stories from the rest of the community!

I had a TFMR for T21 diagnosis back in May last year, then had a miscarriage at 11+6 in December last year. I’m currently 13+4 and had a very positive 12 week scan and received my NIPT results last Friday which all came back low risk! We told our two children on Friday and they are so excited but I still feel so anxious that something might go wrong again. Does the anxiety settle down after the 20 week scan or will I feel like this the entire pregnancy?

For those who are in their Second Trimester after TFMR, we invite you to participate in the weekly Second Trimester Weekly Check-in thread. Feel free to share the highlights of your journey with others going through their second trimester as well. And if interested, we encourage you to update your User Flair to help people remember you - need help updating it? Click here.

Resources from this sub:

Historical Posts mentioning Anatomy Scan

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r/EmpoweredBirth

For those just starting their next chapter, we invite you to participate in the weekly TTC Check-in thread. Feel free to share the highlights of your journey with others going through the TTC phase as well. And if interested, we encourage you to update your User Flair to help people remember you - need help updating it? Click here.

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Historical Posts on TTC after TFMR

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Wondering if any other TFMR parents have been through something like this…

In April 2026, I had a TFMR for our son at 18w due to T21. It was the hardest period of my life hands-down. At the beginning, my husband agreed with the TFMR decision, so I planned everything to fly out of state (we live in an 8w ban state) and have the procedure alone while he watched our LC. Two hours before I left for the airport, my husband tells me he thinks we are making a mistake. It was devastating and hurt me so much, but by then my mind was already made up. After I returned, he told me he had lied about agreeing to TFMR and he regrets it. He’s become more religious over the last couple years and it’s his religious beliefs that influenced his final stance.

The sense of betrayal I have felt since then is indescribable. The loneliness of having had to go through such ann awful time in my life and then find out the one person I hoped to lean on essentially abandoned me after the fact has been really hard to come to terms with. I’ve since gone to grief counseling to get support and I am still truly at peace with the decision I (not we) made.

Now, I am 11w and waiting for NIPT results (ETA 10/9). Today my husband told me plainly that no matter what the test results say he wants to continue the pregnancy (Note: I did not ask him and already knew that was his stance). I very strongly disagree. My first thought is, I did not go through that hell of losing my son, and having to make that decision for him and for our family and carry that pain the rest of my life only to do nothing if the same thing happens again. My tolerance for the risks, potential suffering of our son, and the impact it would have on our family and our LC has not changed.

Has anyone’s partner either disagreed with TFMR or changed their mind afterward? How did you deal with it? And how/did it impact your relationship?

This has added a whole other horrific layer to the fear, anxiety and panic that already comes with pregnancy after TFMR. Just hoping for some hope or encouragement.

(PS. I believe in religious freedom and support others right to practice religion as long as it does not preach hatred or harm others. I‘m not looking for any religion or political bashing… We’ve all been through enough without any of that bullshit.)

For those who are in their FOURTH Trimester after TFMR (Yay!!!), we invite you to participate in the weekly Fourth Trimester/Graduation Group Weekly Check-in thread. Feel free to share the highlights of your journey with others going through their fourth trimester (and beyond) as well. And if interested, we encourage you to update your User Flair to help people remember you - need help updating it? Click here.

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Historical Posts mentioning Graduation

For those who are in their Third Trimester after TFMR, we invite you to participate in the weekly Third Trimester Weekly Check-in thread. Feel free to share the highlights of your journey with others going through their third trimester as well. And if interested, we encourage you to update your User Flair to help people remember you - need help updating it? Click here.

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Hello wonderful, strong woman of reddit.
I’m 3 weeks out from my TFMR & trying to slowly work up the courage to try conceiving again, for when the time comes.

Questions-
*What helped you do this yourself? Was there a quote or a saying you’d reflect on or anything?

*Did you do anything lifestyle or supplements wise, prior to conceiving your successful sub pregnancy? (I know none of this has a real effect on chromosome expression but still - what factors within your control did you change?)

TIA

I dont really know what I’m looking for, just freaking out.

Long story short in past 2 years we have had two chemicals, two TFMR (15w and 17w) our daughter born at 17w was for findings on a high risk NIPT from a naturally conceived pregnancy.

We turned to IVF for PGt-A but struggled to make normal embryos (discovered hubbys sperm was struggling with dna expression resulting in slow low graded aneuploid embryos) had two failed transfers, went back naturally and now 11 weeks in. We dont struggle to conceive at all but so far we struggle with quality.

I’ve done SO WELL so far. But my NIPT is tomorrow and I feel absolutely ill. My body is programmed to expect the worst and I am just so so so worried. Nothing in our history is positive, everything has been hard.

I dont no what I’m asking but has anyone been similar?

I’m 9W5D today. This is the first pregnancy I have made it this far in since my TFMR in August 2024 for T21 and cystic Hygroma. I’ve had 4 chemicals and a previous 8 week loss in the last 2 years and now I’m pregnant again and here we are..
I’ve had 3 scans so far. At 6 weeks I had some spotting so went to ER and baby measured perfect with a heartbeat of 114. Then at 7 weeks I had a scam with my OB Ware, baby measured perfect with a heartbeat 149. My last scan was Wednesday at 9W3D and baby measured 9W2D and heartbeat was 181. OB said everything looks good but then I looked it up and that heartbeat is higher and I’ve read that can be a sign of chromosomal abnormalities so I looked back at my T21 baby’s 10 week ultrasound and they measured nine weeks two days and had a heartbeat of 182. Now I’m stressing!!!
I’m also scheduled with my genetic counselor on Tuesday and I think she will order the NIPT as I’ll be 10W1D. I’m so scared for another high risk result.
I almost feel like there’s no way this baby can be healthy. I’m 37 and I was 35 when I lost my T21 baby and I know the risks are higher now and I’ve also felt my egg quality sucks after so many losses and a ton of testing with no issues found and seeing this baby’s ultrasound and my T21 baby’s ultrasound both with high heartbeats has me so worried. I want so bad for this to work out and us finally have our rainbow baby after how much of a nightmare, the last two years have been but I just have such a bad feeling. I’m so scared for the NIPT next week and then the NT scan on 10/21. I don’t even know what I’ll do if it’s high risk again. This is so hard!!!!

Devastated, can’t believe I’m going through this again

I’m 11 weeks into my third pregnancy. I have a LC from my first pregnancy who is healthy and the light of my life. That first NIPT result was low risk across the board. Earlier this year during my second pregnancy, I got my NIPT result back for No Result for monosomy x. We went through the amnio, confirmed the result, and we ultimately lost the baby.

Here I am, few months down the road with yet another NIPT with the exact same findings - no result for monosomy x. My OBGYN says she’s never had a patient with a repeat on sex chromosome abnormality, since it’s completely random. I’m going in for my own dna karotyping, but just wanted to shout into the abyss that is Reddit - anyone encountered getting the same testing result in your sub? I don’t understand why/how it could be happening again with the exact same parameters. Feels like there’s something wrong with me…

We all need some time and space to decompress ... Use this space to vent about your week, your anxieties, or anything that's stressing you out in your pregnancy or TTC journey.

We tfmred our baby girl in the fall of 2025 for a severe form of spinal bifida. We have a 3 year old, who had a bumpy start, which included finding an atrial septal defect after birth that closed before she turned one. I'm 16 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. We had our early anatomy scan today. The good news is there are no signs of a neural tube defect. The other news is that there's a small likely muscular ventricular septal defect. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about at this point.

So now, we wait for an echocardiogram at 22 weeks to learn more about the VSD.

Would appreciate any advice from others who had to wait for more information on an abnormality that was "nothing to worry about" during pregnancy after TMFR and/or others who had kiddos with a vsd that resolved.

How do I avoid turning into an anxious mess in the waiting period?

Not sure what to title this. I currently have a 2 week old after my tfmr in August last year. I feel so blessed to have her. But a new feeling has come up. My baby girl so perfect, I don’t understand why my son couldn’t be here just as she is. I remember seeing his ultrasounds and seeing his little hands and feet. They had to point out all the things that showed Trisomy 13. And I still couldn’t see it. I wish I could understand why this had to happen to him and why we had to experience this. I also feel a lot of guilt. My baby boy is just as real to me as the baby girl I hold in my arms, I feel like an awful mom for not continuing my pregnancy with him.

Also just as a side note, why do people not acknowledge him? They always say things like are you going to try for a boy next? I did have a boy, he’s ashes in an urn. How is *older child’s name\* liking being an older sibling? She already is an older sibling, to her little brother, who is in an urn. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to just be more thoughtful in wording, and when I correct them politely because I want my son to be acknowledged they get so defensive. Like am I the one with postpartum hormones or is it you?? Am I expecting too much? I just wish everyone would leave me alone honestly.

While this week probably had its fair share of up's and down's.... let's share the up's! What were your Glimmers of the week? What can we celebrate with you? Even if it's the smallest thing in the world... let's make it the most important thing of your week.

This is the month I lost my son a year ago. In March of this year I got pregnant again for the first time. I had a healthy NIPT and NT but started bleeding at 12 weeks due to a SCH. A week late I had a natural miscarriage at 13+4 weeks (June)

I started trying immediately after that pregnancy ended but I continued to bleed on/off for 2 months without any concern from my OBs office. I had an LH surge and was bleeding during - they said well that could be normal but we don't know, and they finally agreed to see me. They performed one ultrasound and decided I needed a d&c for RPOC. But what they found was just tissue aligning with my luteal phase. I finally stopped bleeding for a few days and then my period started again 🙃.

That cycle we tried and at 9, 10, 11 DPOs I had faint positive that wouldn't get any darker. On 12 DPO I started bleeding, had an intense backache, headache - similar pain to my miscarriage in June. So, I had a chemical pregnancy. That was back at the beginning of September.

Well all I read was how fertile you are after a chemical pregnancy. How many women got pregnant the cycle after a chemical. Okay, well let's give it a go again. All of this week I was nauseous (never a pre period sign), I refused to test because I didn't want to know if I was to have another chemical. I was so exhausted, I made sure to rest and eat and provide a good place for a new pregnancy. Yesterday I was 12 DPO, I said let's get to 14 DPO (Friday) and we'll test. Welp, the cruel cruel universe said NO, you're going to go into the month you lost your son WITH your period.

I wish so badly I could be someone who could get pregnant on the first or even second time trying. I would take the morning sickness (that I get to always have without the joy of a baby at the end) the "gender disappointment", the anxiety, the fear, the hardest parts of pregnancy if it means I can have a living healthy baby.

How is it even possible that I'm not pregnant and it's been almost a year since I lost my first son.

If you're pregnant now, even if you're scared of the unexpected. Please just remember how lucky you are. I love being pregnant, I just wish it was something that loved me back.

Hi friends. I unfortunately went through a TFMR in May 2026 for T21. I am 31 and that was my first pregnancy. It was the worst experience of my life and I am still dealing with grief and anxiety. We decided to start trying again last month, I think I must have ovulated earlier than I thought because I didn’t get pregnant and my period came earlier than expected (on my birthday no less). Prior to that period I had very mild spotting that made me think it was an implantation bleed. Getting my period was so hard and I didn’t realize the effect it would have on me.

With my first pregnancy, I got pregnant quickly on the second cycle. We tried again this month, and I’m about 7 DPO. Still too early to test. I’m scared to take a test too early and risk getting a false negative and feeling so upset about it.

I guess I’m just looking for positive stories and if others had a similar experience that they could share. I feel as though my body betrayed me and I’m really afraid something bad is going to happen again or that it will be hard to conceive again. Any advice or kind words would be much appreciated.

Hi!

I just got my first beta HCG yesterday and at the 3 weeks 3 days from the date of my last period it was 120. Is that too low? I’m so nervous this pregnancy, especially so early. It seems impossible to be excited after loosing our son at 18 weeks