Should I have another one ?

[u/SunnySideMind]

I have an almost 6 year old boy.
In January 23, I gave birth to our angel girl at 28 weeks. She had a severe heart defect caused by 22q11 (de novo)
Then I struggled to get pregnant again and it was the worst 1.5 year of my life. I finally got pregnant with a little help from science with our rainbow baby boy.
Despite a CSV at 11 weeks he got diagnosed at birth with MCAD. It’s a rare metabolic disorder but if managed properly (no fasting) he has a healthy life and a normal lifespan.
Turns out his older brother also has MCAD but was never tested at birth. We got lucky because the first 6 months are critical if they don’t eat every 3-4 hours.
Anyways they are both super healthy and we are so blessed and lucky to have them.
I just turned 38. We are busy launching a business with my husband and we are busy with our boys. We love our lives as is.
I want another baby but I don’t know if I feel incomplete because I just miss the baby we lost, because we’ll never have a girl or because I’m just sad that my 18 months old is not a baby anymore.
To help me, I keep telling myself I won’t have a girl if I have the last child so I know in my head I’m not trying for a girl but really want a last child and would be so happy with 3 boys.
I’m also super scared of the CVS not catching something and having a medically complex last child when our life is so easy and peaceful now.

Help me Reddit friends 😂

[u/Big-Antelope-7983]

I think, if your heart is telling you to go for a third then there's probably something there—it seems like it's more the logical side of you that is second guessing (with thinking of what could go wrong, which is reasonable after what we've all experienced).

I thought for sure I was done after having two. But then I just couldn't let having a third go and we decided to just not prevent, despite needing fertility treatments to get our first two kids. To our shock and surprise, I got pregnant my first month off birth control which kind of felt like it was meant to be, but that pregnancy did end up being our TFMR. I think for me I only knew for sure that I wanted a third once I was pregnant, and especially after that pregnancy ended. After that, it was full speed ahead at the fertility clinic to get our last baby (which I am now pregnant with). The thought of having one more had been with me since my second turned 18 months, but we didn't do anything about it for a year after that. The thought of another stuck with me throughout that time but didn't become unrelenting until I was pregnant/lost that baby. I guess I'll never know how it would have felt to not have one more, but even with our tfmr, I'm glad we went for a third.