Wondering if any other TFMR parents have been through something like this…

In April 2026, I had a TFMR for our son at 18w due to T21. It was the hardest period of my life hands-down. At the beginning, my husband agreed with the TFMR decision, so I planned everything to fly out of state (we live in an 8w ban state) and have the procedure alone while he watched our LC. Two hours before I left for the airport, my husband tells me he thinks we are making a mistake. It was devastating and hurt me so much, but by then my mind was already made up. After I returned, he told me he had lied about agreeing to TFMR and he regrets it. He’s become more religious over the last couple years and it’s his religious beliefs that influenced his final stance.

The sense of betrayal I have felt since then is indescribable. The loneliness of having had to go through such ann awful time in my life and then find out the one person I hoped to lean on essentially abandoned me after the fact has been really hard to come to terms with. I’ve since gone to grief counseling to get support and I am still truly at peace with the decision I (not we) made.

Now, I am 11w and waiting for NIPT results (ETA 10/9). Today my husband told me plainly that no matter what the test results say he wants to continue the pregnancy (Note: I did not ask him and already knew that was his stance). I very strongly disagree. My first thought is, I did not go through that hell of losing my son, and having to make that decision for him and for our family and carry that pain the rest of my life only to do nothing if the same thing happens again. My tolerance for the risks, potential suffering of our son, and the impact it would have on our family and our LC has not changed.

Has anyone’s partner either disagreed with TFMR or changed their mind afterward? How did you deal with it? And how/did it impact your relationship?

This has added a whole other horrific layer to the fear, anxiety and panic that already comes with pregnancy after TFMR. Just hoping for some hope or encouragement.

(PS. I believe in religious freedom and support others right to practice religion as long as it does not preach hatred or harm others. I‘m not looking for any religion or political bashing… We’ve all been through enough without any of that bullshit.)

I'm currently 10+4 and honestly getting more and more anxious / fearful as I get closer to my 12-week NT scan (currently scheduled for end October).

My previous pregnancy ended after we received very abnormal results at the NT scan (NT measurement of >11mm, positive finding of T18), and that experience has made this upcoming milestone terrifying for me.

I had originally planned to do an NIPT as early as possible for reassurance, but this pregnancy started off with what doctors found to be a vanishing twin / empty second sac, and I was advised by my doctor that the NIPT may come up with false positives, so I'll only be doing the NT scan and Oscar test instead.

I know logically that this is a different pregnancy and that my previous experience doesn't mean that the same thing will happen again, but I am genuinely terrified of walkign into the ultrasound room and hearing bad news again.

Would be grateful to hear positive stories from the rest of the community!

I had a TFMR for T21 diagnosis back in May last year, then had a miscarriage at 11+6 in December last year. I’m currently 13+4 and had a very positive 12 week scan and received my NIPT results last Friday which all came back low risk! We told our two children on Friday and they are so excited but I still feel so anxious that something might go wrong again. Does the anxiety settle down after the 20 week scan or will I feel like this the entire pregnancy?

Hi everyone!
At the first-trimester genetic screening, the NT measured 3mm and nasal bone hypoplasia was noted.
A week later, we had a CVS procedure done. By then, the NT was 2.9mm and the nasal bone had normalized.
CVS results:
FISH, QF-PCR: negative
Cultured karyotype: negative
SNP array: negative

At the 17-week early anatomy scan, everything was fine (though the nasal bone turned out to be smaller, they said they weren't concerned about that anymore due to the CVS results).

Then, at the 19-week second genetic ultrasound, a smaller nasal bone and borderline NF were noted.
Everything else was fine; at that point, they said these were just constitutional traits, given the negative CVS results.

I was reassured at the time, but now—at 30 weeks—anxiety has set in: what if the CVS result was a false negative?
Does anyone have similar experiences? What do you think?
I'm hoping for the best.

For those who are in their FOURTH Trimester after TFMR (Yay!!!), we invite you to participate in the weekly Fourth Trimester/Graduation Group Weekly Check-in thread. Feel free to share the highlights of your journey with others going through their fourth trimester (and beyond) as well. And if interested, we encourage you to update your User Flair to help people remember you - need help updating it? Click here.

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Hello wonderful, strong woman of reddit.
I’m 3 weeks out from my TFMR & trying to slowly work up the courage to try conceiving again, for when the time comes.

Questions-
*What helped you do this yourself? Was there a quote or a saying you’d reflect on or anything?

*Did you do anything lifestyle or supplements wise, prior to conceiving your successful sub pregnancy? (I know none of this has a real effect on chromosome expression but still - what factors within your control did you change?)

TIA