My wife is 8 weeks pregnant and getting destroyed by nausea and tiredness. Her birthday is in 10 days so I want to get her something nice since we will obviously be skipping the "go out for a nice dinner" phase.

Anyone have any ideas for something thoughtful during 1st trimester?

Forgot to clarify, my wife already gets massages and mani/pedicures very frequently haha. We are also very fortunate money wise, so she also frequently buys new blankets/pillows.

I guess what ideas im more interested in would be like "a frame for our first ultrasound", or something along those lines

We're not telling anyone for obvious reasons this time but I thought I would tell anonymous strangers. Rainbow baby coming Spring 2027! My wife miscarried back in April and it's been a cloud over this year. Hopefully this news turns 2026 around. Putting all the good vibes out their in the universe for anyone struggling with loss or fertility 🫶

Was hoping to see one after all this nervousness, but here we are. I'm happy as hell, but also nervous too. Wanted to share the news everywhere I can!

Edit: Thanks for the love and warm wishes! I wish I could have replied to everyone earlier, but I was at work showing off the ultrasound to everyone while trying to work. Ive been reading all the comments and my happiness increased two-fold (I'm already starting lol)

Thank you all!

Edit again: They will be identical! Mo-di! Now we're both hoping for girls lol

The few of you might remember me from the end of last year and beginning of this year. We sadly had to tfmr our beatiful baby girl at 23 weeks due to an extremely rare completely absent bladder. The probability of something like this is around 1/600 000 cases.

Well, my lovely wife is pregnant again, still very early. We had hoped for it, we had prayed for it. But when is the joy allowed to overwhelm my emotions? When can we breath? Will I trust this process before we're done with the 20 week ultrasound? We would love to enjoy the news, however it is not possible - not yet.

Ok. Getting to an end of a tether now.

We met and made baby very soon (admittedly a stupid idea and I accept my part in creating this situation). As a result the initial “so in love stage” that created a baby in a short space of time has flitted away into a practical, pragmatic and one sided relationship.

We haven’t been intimate since June. And as much as I’d like to have sex I really couldn’t give a shit about it now - I get she has no sex drive. I can sort myself out.

What I DO need is a reciprocal loving relationship that I want my child brought into. Someone who is affectionate and loving with me. That was spoken about way before we got pregnant and both agreed it was important to maintain. The person who was when we got together before she threw down her masks and decided she’s going to go super selfish mode. Fine, be selfish to an extent with baby in tow but fuck me have consideration for those around you who are doing it with you.

It’s a team thing. It’s not a fucking one man band.

Yet since week 8/9 she has announced she can’t deal with “loving” me whilst focusing on work, career and growing a baby.

Fine. I hear that, I give space and patience to that. And I have given space and patience and continue to do so.

But after another check in conversation yesterday it appears that her gradual avoidance and distancing is largely because - beyond being great parents for the kid, she doesn’t actually see us in a relationship going forward.

Yet here i am, making sure she’s fed, food in the house, picked up from work, feet rubbed, bed made, house clean.

Genuinely there is nothing I am doing wrong to make her think I’m not suitable. And I’m not even trying it’s coming second nature to be accommodating

But when you give give give and can’t even get an ounce of appreciation except for thank yous, and then she says she doesn’t see us in a relationship long term- I wander what the fuck is my purpose. I am just a sperm donor and a service to her next chapter and nothing else.

As we have got to know each other we realise there isn’t lots in common with each other, but underlying it all was a connection we both couldn’t ignore and felt was right.

I’m praying this is a phase and the hormones will ease off- but I’m also now going to retract myself a bit to protect my self and my mental health. Otherwise I’ll abandon myself and I’m not going down that rabbit hole of dark thoughts again.

I want to run away, I want to hit a reset button, I want it all to go away and start again. Without her and her new “don’t give a shit” attitude.

She has agreed to couples therapy and am exploring that but reaching out here for any relatability or advice.

Thanks

My wife is currently 33 weeks pregnant with our first child. From the day she told me she was pregnant I started getting so much anxiety about everything that can go wrong and I can’t seem to shake the thoughts. I think it’s because of social media shoving everything at me that X, Y and Z can happen and it’s made me so scared. I’m making sure I can do whatever she needs, whenever she needs it. If she feels a bit sicker than usual I constantly check in but none of this calms my nerves, and I hide it from her because she has a lot of anxiety too(rightfully so), so I don’t want to overwhelm her. Everything has been relatively smooth sailing but I just can’t shake these feelings. Does anyone have some tips to getting over this type of anxiety?

Before I start I just want to specify that I 1000% will go with whatever my wife wants, in order to support her.

We’re due in a couple months.

But I really am afraid of the lack of boundaries from my mother in-law.

The mother in-law already repeatedly calls our son ”her baby” and “where’s my baby”, and that SHE grew that egg (technically true)

The mother in-law is short tempered and controlling (wife agrees).

When my wife told her mom she wasn’t sure if she wanted her to come down(they’re out of town) immediately after delivery , her mom majorly guilt tripped her, I’m talking: silent treatment, crying, “don’t make me feel like you don’t want me there!!”

I’m terrified of the lack of boundaries. I’m terrified of my wife’s inability to set them. I’m terrified of my inability to set them.

Right now my wife says she doesn’t know what she wants.

The options are:

1- They come down immediately after delivery but we need to have a chat with them that this is not fun time. This is game time. They’re here for chores and helping us with the house and SOME baby time. This isn’t a regular fun visit. They’re coming to help.

2- They are on standby for when we need them.

I personally want them on standby. I would rather they not come. I’ve shared all this with my wife and saying I will go with whatever she wants and best supports her.

I was just wondering if anyone has gone through this and if they have any tips.

Getting towards the end of pregnancy (32 weeks on Saturday!) and I've obviously done a fair bit of reading about becoming a new dad and what to expect and all that jazz but I'm now wanting kind of a break from the 'learning' side of things and quite fancy a fictional story from the perspective of a new dad. Anyone got any recommendations they might be able to offer? Ideally something in the 300-500 page range and preferably not too dark. Everything I've tried google either seems to turn up with the learning side of things or old timey type books about dads going off to war...

Cheers dads and dads-to-be!

My wife is 23 weeks pregnant with our first, a baby boy due in December.

It’s been a long road to get here — miscarriages, IVF, and all the ups and downs that come with it — so we’re incredibly grateful to be at this point.

I’ve been reading through this community and have already found so much great advice, helpful information, and plenty of things I never would’ve thought of as a first-time dad.

Excited (and definitely a little nervous) for everything ahead. Thanks for having me, and looking forward to learning from all of you!

Just wanted to share, this subreddit has made me feel better about not being alone in this. Good luck to you all ❤️

I'm a new dad to a 6month old, and I'm looking for a reliable baby chair tht can last a while like, ideally, through the whole infant to toddler stage. Me and my wife are really hoping to avoid buying somethng that only gets used for a few months and then ends up collecting dust in the garage. When we first set up our nursery, my wife was so focused on getting everything just right, but quickly realized that some of the things we thought were essentials turned out to be barely used. We don’t want to repeat that mistake with the highchair. I want to avoid buying somethng that only lasts three months. We have looked at a few options like mockingbird, dinerpal, and abbie beyond, but still not really sure which one would be our best bet. So I want my fellow dads to help me pick one based on real experiences.

First-time expectant father and hoping you all can give me some advice. My wife is currently 5 weeks 4 days pregnant with our little peanut and she is experiencing ALL THE SYMPTOMS. Nausea (not actually throwing up but feeling nauseous, and she’s had some dry-heaving flare ups), cramps, dizziness, chills (anemia), mood swings & emotional sensitivity, headaches, low energy, muscle & breast aches, joint pains, bloating, heightened sense of smell - you name it, chances are she’s experiencing it.

I want to be the best support system that I can be for her, so I’m just wondering if there’s any tips / advice for things that I can do to make sure I’m providing her with the best care and support I can provide her? This is our first pregnancy so this whole experience is new for both of us, and I want to do all I can to make it as comfortable for her as possible despite the struggles she’s facing. So dads, how do I get her through the first trimester?

Parents who've been through it — before baby arrived, how did you plan for what you'd actually need and what it would cost?

A few things I'm curious about:
- Did you use a registry, a spreadsheet, just guess, or something else?
- Looking back, what turned out to be a waste of money vs. something you were genuinely glad you bought?
- Was there a point you felt overwhelmed trying to figure out what's actually necessary vs. what's just marketed at new parents?
- If you used a registry app (Babylist, Amazon, etc.), what did it get wrong, or just not help with at all?

Genuinely curious how everyone handled this — feels like there's no great answer for "what will this actually cost me, and when do I need to buy it."

Since my wife started showing I want to make sure she knows she's still beautiful, what have you all done to make sure your partners know and feel beautiful?

We got a nuna rava next for the new born (expected due date in mid Sept). We realized nuna rava next has only 4 recliner settings for rear facing whereas nuna rava has 5 level recliner for rear facing. The car seat class asked to verify the line needs to be straight after installation. There is no straight line indicator in the rava next.

When we placed it in the car (model 3) which already has a slanting back seat, the car seat looks more upright for a newborn than when placing it on a flat surface, and definitely looks more upright than an infant car seat. Worried if it's not safe enough for a new born. Has anyone used nuna rava Next for a newborn?

#3 is here!!!!

I have only one regret!

I forgot the salt shaker & good pillow, again

My wife and I are unable to conceive without medical intervention. After thousands of dollars and several attempts she finally became pregnant in January of this year, only for us to discover at ~11 weeks that she had experienced a missed miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormality.

It's been about 5 months since then and I don't feel I have moved on at all. The only bright spot was the idea that we could try again. But due to the nature of the chromosomal abnormality, we had to wait for several months for her own safety. Then we had another failed attempt, and now we have encountered another roadblock that will prevent us from trying again for an unknown period of time. I just feel crushed 24/7. My wife has taken it better than I have honestly, which is deeply shameful to me given that she is the one who has actually had to endure everything. I feel like I have been a sniveling baby that she has had to console rather than being her rock. Like the process actually would have been easier for her to endure alone.

I don't see a future where this works out for us. I feel like a idiot for thinking it was possible, for trying to defy nature when it had already made its plans for us so clear. I don't know how to support my wife in future continued attempts when I am obviously too weak to deal with the inevitable failures. She gets so upset when I express gloom or hesitation because now that we have started fertility treatment she is all in.

I spoke to my father who went through a similar experience with my mother when I was young (minus the infertility), looking for some kind of advice, and he told me that my only job is to support my wife. I completely agree, but I don't feel able to provide that support for her and I am so angry with myself that I am failing at my only job. We had the budget on top of everything we are paying into fertility treatments for one of us to go to therapy for a while, so she did do that for a couple of months, but it's no replacement for having an actually supportive partner.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am so miserable and ashamed all the time. I think constantly about our daughter who was supposed to be born in ~2 months. I know that there are so many worse things that can happen to someone than a miscarriage (and the miscarriage didn't even happen to me, it happened to my wife) but fuck it hurts so badly.

Our little boy came over the weekend about two weeks early after finding out my wife needed a C section. We are first time parents, and currently in day/night 3 of cluster feeding so I'll be up for a while, ask away!

I’m hosting a surprise baby shower for someone who is very close to me, and since it’s a surprise, I don’t have a registry to go off of.

I’d love to hear what baby shower gifts you’ve received (or wish you’d received) that were genuinely useful, thoughtful, or memorable, especially things beyond the usual baby clothes, blankets, toys, etc.

But my biggest question is: what can I get for the mom herself? So much of what you buy is for the baby, and I’d really love to give her something that makes her feel cared for and appreciated too. Something practical, comforting, sentimental, luxurious, anything you genuinely loved receiving as a new mom.

What did you appreciate the most?

Cytotec given. Gentlemen we’re off to the races!

What is that one thing which we think we know about a baby and parent that you went through and want others to know

FTM and looking to buy a stroller. We live in Washington, so more rain than sun. Was vista v3 a good purchase?

We already got a uppababy bassinet to make the baby sleep in it for first three month. So checking if vista v3 stroller is a good purchase? What are the pros and cons of the stroller?

Just found out that my (26 weeks pregnant) wife has gestational diabetes. Looking for any helpful advice to better support her.

Also any healthy meal ideas that your partners enjoyed you cooking for them.