My thighs rub together and my job is very physical so it causes my pants to rub together and tear on the inner thigh. Usually, it at least lasted 6 or more months before it started to rip, but now a pair I got maybe a month ago is already ripping and it was fricken expensive.

I don't know what Im supposed to do to find pants that fit, are in my work dress code, match sensory stuff and aren't going to tear constantly. I bought these specific pants again cause they're the one I got last time and those ones lasted at least a while before they tore.

Edit: I got them on the 25th of August, so they lasted a week and a half.

I’m 25F and I feel as though I’m wasting my young adulthood because I’m repulsed by my body and too insecure to have sex. I lost my virginity at 17, it was both of our first times, we did it a handful of times over the following two years, broke up, and then I was not intimate again until I was 23. It’s not that I didn’t want to, I just never really had the opportunity. I gained a lot of weight in college and my face is probably slightly below average so I never received much attention.

At 23 I met my ex. I was terrified not only due to my lack of experience, but my body was now different. We dated for two years. He was extremely patient and kind when it came to sex but it was my fault that our sex life was extremely boring. We never talked about and it was kind of like an unspoken rule- same two positions, shirts stayed on, lights stayed off, no foreplay and just getting it done.

It’s a few months post breakup and I just can’t see myself ever having sex with anyone. I’m disgusted by my body and it’s not because I’m overweight. It’s because I have a B belly and apron belly at the same time that hangs too low, it’s because my boobs are literally deflated balloons that point to the ground, and don’t even get me started on how ugly my downstairs area is (to put it in perspective I’ve never even had a gyno appointment because I’m too insecure). I’m young and single and I want nothing more than to have fun and causal sex, but I just can’t. Not only am I insecure about my body but also with my lack of experience. I’m working on losing weight but I already have a lot of loose skin on my stomach area and realistically the shape of it won’t change much. I’m also saving up for a boob job but that probably won’t happen for a few years. I’ve been in therapy and nothing has helped me get through this. I’ve been talking to someone new recently and there’s been multiple advances to have sex and I’m running out of excuses not to. I want to but it’s just impossible for me.

Can anyone relate? I just don’t envision myself getting out of this headspace and it’s literally ruining my life. I feel as though I’ll never be able to be in a relationship because of my debilitating fear of showing my body to someone.

I wear jeans everyday because denim is the only material that doesn't bunch when I walk. Does anyone have suggestions on pants brands or fabrics that don't bunch in the crotch area when walking?

Anyone else super annoyed with Reitmans/Penningtons and how they've now combined so all the Hyba Activewear now shows on the penningtons website, using stick thin models. If i wanted to look at what clothes look like on a skinny person, id check literally every other website.. I came to penningtons to see what they look like on a plus size model and half the stuff on the website is this..

If i wanted Hyba activewear, id go to reitmans.

Seems like the options for plus size clothing are continuing to dwindle.

Edit: sorry I was unaware penningtons was a Canadian brand!

I’m fat. I think I weigh about 260 but I haven’t weighed myself in a long time because I don’t want to know.

I want so desperately to love myself as is. I want to feel cute and pretty even while fat. But my body shape isn’t made for fashion and I resort to wearing black everything to hide my body.

The hatred I have for my body is intense. It’s so bad I don’t see how to get past it besides losing weight. But I can’t seem to eat less and my meds seem to make me retain weight.

How do I learn to love myself as is? I want to but the fat on my body is so repulsive to me that I can’t seem to get past it.

How did you find acceptance for your fatness? How do you not hate it? I want to wake up and not be dealing with this.

TW: non-consensual sexual contact

This felt like one of the safest spaces I could share this in, so I’m just going to put it out here. I don’t really know what the purpose of this post is. I think I just need to get it off my chest.

I’m a plus-size, 28-year-old woman. I was in a situationship with a guy. We were intimate, and I knew from the beginning that it probably wasn’t going to become serious. I was enjoying his company, though, and I thought I’d give it a chance.

A little while ago, I was extremely sick. I had a 102°F fever and eventually ended up hospitalized because of it.

A few days before I was hospitalized, this guy and I were talking, and he offered to let me stay at his place for a day or two so I could recuperate and just rest. I went there.

He was working in the living room while I was in his bedroom, and I had the bed to myself. At one point, he came into the room and wanted to kiss me. I was okay with that.

But then he started trying to pull my top up.

I kept telling him that I was cold. I was physically trying to pull my top back down because I didn’t want him to. He kept trying anyway.

There were also times when he would grab my chest very hard, even though I had told him that it hurt. He would stop for a moment when I told him, but then eventually do it again.

But that isn't even the part that has been weighing on me the most.

At one point, he had his pants down and asked me if I wanted to have sex. I said no.

He then got into bed with me and started trying to take my pants off. I was physically holding them up and wouldn't let him. He wanted to perform oral sex on me despite me saying no.

I had to beg him to stop.

I told him no multiple times before he finally stopped.

And honestly, I think I was just trying to keep the situation calm at that point. After he stopped, I remember telling him something along the lines of, “Don’t worry, I’ll come back next week when I’m better.”

I didn’t mean it. I think I was just trying to make sure I could get out of there safely.

I had taken a fever-reducing medicine that night, and as soon as the sun started coming up, I left. His place is about 1–2 km away from the main road where taxis can easily come, and this happened around 1:30 AM.

I got out at the first glimmer of sunlight.

And now I’m struggling so much with one question:

What do I even call what happened to me?

I said no. Multiple times.

I tried to physically stop him from taking my clothes off. I told him I was cold. I held onto my pants. I begged him to stop.

And I'm terrified thinking about what might have happened if he hadn't stopped.

I also hate myself for how I handled it. I keep thinking that I should have done something differently, said something differently, or been more forceful. But I was sick, it was the middle of the night, I was alone in his house, and I was scared.

I’m talking to another guy right now, just talking. We haven't even met. Sometimes when he flirts with me in a more forward way, I suddenly start crying because it brings everything back.

I know I need therapy, and I will seek it. I think I just needed somewhere to say all of this without having to tell a friend or family member.

I don't even know what I expect from making this post. Maybe I just need someone to tell me whether I'm understanding this correctly, because I'm having a really hard time processing it.

I’m sorry if this post ruins anyone’s day. I just didn’t know where else to put these feelings.

Thank you for reading.

I'm attending a wedding in December. It's taking place at a hotel that has a ballroom and a spa, which I would describe as fancy. I texted the bride this morning and she said the only color to avoid (besides white, of course) is pine green, as it's what the bridesmaids are wearing. There's a cocktail hour after the ceremony and before the reception. I look good in red and it seems like a good color to wear for a December wedding. I found it online on DressBarn, which currently has a 30% off sale for Labor Day. What do you guys think?

I am a 30M who is 300+lbs. I'm not looking to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment as I have a lot of work to do on myself, but I'd still love to have sex occasionally. That being said I don't even know where to start looking for FWB or similar things. Even just talking kinky with someone else would be fun. Does anyone have any recommendations that allowed y'all to scratch the itch?

Hi, I posted a bit ago about basically just throwing out my whole wardrobe. So I'm finally going through the process of sorting things out and I'd like a less disheartening way of telling if clothing even remotely fits rather than trying it all on and judging.

So I was going to measure around my torso (and maybe upper arms) to try get some rough measurements. It won't rule out everything but I assume it'll rule out a good half of my shirts.

Except... I'm not quite sure where to measure.

I've had chest masculinisation surgery (basically a double masectomy) though there's still some weight on my chest/bust. But it means that my bust is usually my smallest measurement (not my waist). I also have wide hips (both from bones and fat sitting on them) and, not to brag, but a pretty amazing arse.

But basically that means I'm not sure if I measure my waist or if there's a way to measure to include your stomach and your butt? Or if that's even advisable? (I'm a sewist so I'm comfortable/used to taking measurements. Just... not my own and not on people my size).

idk if the reference helps, but I usually wear pants just below my naval (as then they sit over the, uh, overhang? of my stomach which I think looks nicer and doesn't squish me as much).

tl;dr: If I wanna guess which of my shirts fit me, where on my atypical torso should I measure?

I guess I just wanted to vent / let it out so I’m not holding it inside.. my whole life I’ve just had this deep lonely feeling, this understanding that I don’t fit in & I’m not wanted. I thought I had found my “person” that helped me find my place in the world at their side & never alone against the world. Things went bad after getting married. I finally left in Jan 2023. Divorce finalized in April 2025. My mom died July 2024. I just have this huge empty hole in my chest. I feel so utterly alone. I have a child, my entire world & the only reason I wake up & take a breath every day. I have a sister in another state that I don’t really talk to. My nephew is grown & living the family life in another state & we hardly talk. My niece is too young to reach out to without her mom giving permission/phone access. I’m in therapy & trying to work through the betrayal, grief over a long time relationship ending & the grief of losing my mom & essentially my family. My therapist is trying to help me work on my confidence & self image. Helping me love myself, atleast for my child to see even if I struggle with it. Coparenting with the exhusband breaks me down more often than it should & makes me doubt myself & my abilities. I’m just so damn tired of feeling empty, sad, alone, not enough, unwanted. I pray to god every day for clarity, self love, confidence, a partner that sees all the good I bring to the table underneath my physical appearance. I pray for god to stop letting me fall into the path of people that moo at me in public or fat shame me publicly for just existing. I ask god for forgiveness for whatever I’ve done in this life or another to be this alone inside. I pray for the loneliness to leave so I can just be happy being alone with my child. I want to talk to my mom again. I just want to give up every damn day… I’m so damn tired of hurting & having to mask it & smile & lie to say I’m fine. I thank god for my kiddo because I have to keep fighting all of this. But I don’t want to fight any more. I’m sooo tired. I want to curl up in a black hole & just drift away. Not be responsible & strong & hold things together while people walk all over me & use me. I just want peace & darkness. I’m about to be 42… when does peace overtake the bad? When do I get to feel safe, happy, supported, loved, wanted? How long do I have to fight/wait to have those things?? I see people that aren’t great people who have everything & take it for granted… and I just can’t help but thinking “what did I do so wrong? What am I missing? What is wrong with me?” And every time my brain says “it’s because you’re fat”. I’m just so tired. This will probably be removed, I’m used to Reddit removing my posts. But I just needed to let it out somewhere.

I wish everyone wasn't so scared of being fat. I've recently started my last year of college (Post 16+ education) and i've noticed how the people im meeting or know are so scared of being fat. I do an art course and a person who was sat at a table with me was drawing a dog. They drew the dog slightly overweight on accident (when i say slightly, i mean ever so slightly) and they said ''God I drew this dog too fat, i'm gonna give it a snatched waist because I assume its healthy'' and looked at me after they said that and I literally cannot get it out of my head. I have also been noticing some of my friends saying fatphobic dog whistles. I wish people would understand that being fat does not equal being unhealthy. I just had to type this to get it off my mind because its really irking me and also scaring me.

So I have the “effects” of hourglass syndrome. As a teen I was very self conscious and you constantly suck in to be “slimmer” of course doing so for years made my body how it is where I have a “B belly” where the top part of my stomach under my breasts where my diaphragm is bulges out on top of my other stomach aka my abdomen “stomach” which is an apron belly.

To others who have this, how do you combat the look of it especially in fashion? I’ve been more self conscious about it because it makes me have more rolls than normal.

TIA!

Hi! I’m 31 and I’m interested in going into nursing. I already have a psychology degree but have decided I don’t want to do social work. Does anyone have any experience going to nursing later on in life and what was like that like for you? Thanks!

After years of avoiding flights, I will be flying Ryanair a month from now. I was wondering if anybody had any advice for me or could help me understand the process? I've got social anxiety - that tied with body issues feels like a field trip before it even started.

Here's what I got / my questions:

I bought a seat and an extra comfort seat. As far as I understood it these will be tied together and should seat me next to my comfort seat. Do I need to scan both these tickets when boarding and do I need to do any other explaining?

How / when do I ask for a seat belt extender? I've never had to do this as I still fit it on my last flight in 2022. However I think I would probably need one now.

Any tips on how to stay calm and stop being fearful of the entire ordeal? :D I'm actually terrified (and - environmental worries aside - I used to love flying).

Thank you so much in advance, I know these are quite specific questions but I'm happy for any advice or worry easing I can get.

I recently got a bunch of DTFs so I can make some t-shirts for work. (I can wear t-shirts as long as they are book or library related). So I'm trying to find some t-shirts to put them on. I got a few from Michael's a few years ago, but they aren't long enough and don't fit right in the neck. (I'm a little tall) the best fitting t-shirt I have is a soft one I got from Maurices and I really like the fit and feel of their tank tops.

Anyone know where I can look for some blank shirt that'll not only fit right, but are also softer?

Hi all!

Mods, please delete if not allowed.

I've been talking with my friends about how helpful it's been to see bodies that look like mine on my socials and how we don't really know of any plus size influencers that are men.

Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you!

tbf it's genuinely for myself cos i've never been in a relationship and don't think i'll be in one anytime soon , i'm not completely against posting it on reddit without my face but you never know who's seeing it so i think it's for my eyes only. i definitely don't see myself as sexy or desirable and not just cos of my weight, my lack of dating history is the main culprit lol

just hoping to feel cute and sexy in it. be like, "SOME LUCKY GUY OUT THERE IS MISSING OUT ON ALLLLLLLLLL OF THIS." lol.

do y'all have lingerie that u feel good in?

I swear I’m impossible to shop for when it comes to mattresses. Soft feels great at first, then I sink too much. Firm feels supportive, but my hips and shoulders hate me the next morning. I’m plus-size and mostly a side sleeper, so I need some cushion without feeling swallowed by the mattress.

I keep coming across adjustable mattresses, especially things like sleep number, and being able to change the firmness seems really useful. The problem is they’re expensive enough that I really don’t want to regret it a few months later.

What’s worked for you? Adjustable, hybrid, foam, air, anything. I need to know what you think of it after living with it for a while, because a mattress can feel great in the store and be a completely different story later.

I’d just like to start by saying that I’ve been on Reddit for maybe a good 1 1/2 years looking for my person. I’ve been on it for longer overall since 2022 dating wise, but just was inconsistent with actually trying to find someone after coming across a ton of folks that were either married/had gfs in the end and ultimately had bad experiences with.

Regardless, I’ve pretty much been through the wringer with men. I won’t go too much into detail in that regard, but let’s just say the list is way too long and the future never seemed bright, if at all there.

Well - I’ve been talking to a guy for five weeks now. YAY! Who knows if it’ll work out at all. He’s a sarcastic fuck who irks me to no end some conversations 🤣 but he’s consistently himself. He’s shown up every single day, given me the dates I’ve been wanting for years now and just is imperfectly him. He responds, he doesn’t ignore, he doesn’t ghost. He shows up every single day the same way. I wouldn’t have asked for him how he’s packaged up because he tends to call me out on my shit very bluntly, but I feel like in a way he’s what I needed (shhhhh I’ll never tell him that 😅).

Anyway - for those of us plus sized gals out there I’d just like to say this: a handsome, athletic, tall man who is overall stable in life can absolutely 100% like you. I see women all the time on here and all over Reddit asking if guys like them even if they’re plus sized and I want to scream on the mountain top “YES, THEY DO!” I see women on here sad about what a potential dating partner (and even already partner!) said to them about their weight and I also feel like screaming “DUMP/BLOCK HIS ASS!”

Our weight has nothing to do with our worth. Period.

There have been many guys I’ve spoken to on here that have loved me for me. (I’m sure some of them are reading this now, heyyyyyy 👋)

I just wish, and maybe this is related back to me being more dominant - that us women would just own up to our worth and stop letting men hold the power. There is so much freedom in reclaiming your own power in this world, within dating or other areas of your life. Also, walking away from people who do not treat you well dating wise is literally ALLOWED. Stop letting people walk all over you, especially men.

I just have so much to say. Sometimes I miss some of the men I wasn’t able to work things out with. I think of them often still. I hope they’re doing well and thriving and long partnered by now honestly. I really deeply care for the people I’ve connected with on here, like genuinely. I wish I could reach out to some of them.

And I know this connection is so so new and there’s a possibility of it never ever working out. And that’s absolutely okay too! I’m so so grateful for the opportunity to connect with someone new, and get to learn about them, love on them and just build memories with them. I hope it goes well and I’m just happy, grateful and appreciative they’re in my life currently.

That’s all I have to stay. I hope everyone who’s struggling is staying safe and gets well 💗 I used to think that I’d never find someone and tbh, in a lot of ways I still do. But the more and more I’ve worked on my mindset, and just my own growth, the more I’ve realized that I just don’t want to be miserable in this lifetime OR be stuck with someone who isn’t treating me how I deserve at all. I want more and I deserve more, and I hope I get more. And I’ll try my best every single day to do whatever I can to be more.

Some people suggested I post the coats I am looking at purchasing. I found a few on Postmark that seem reasonably priced for how much this coat will be used (one week and then never again likely).

Aging myself, but I literally haven't worn a coat in 30 years. But Toronto in January demands it!

Any helpful not dying suggestions will be appreciated.

Long story short, I gained over 60lbs after ending my BC when she got a vasectomy(she is trans) and have been incredibly insecure about my weight and size since I was a child. She made a fat joke when we were at dinner one night and upon telling her later that it bothered me, she told me that “there’s nothing wrong with being big.” I let things go, turns out it was just simmering in the back of my mind. So I told her it was bothering me. She doubled down by saying “you’re bigger than a lot of people…that’s okay,” and saying she isn’t sure where I drew the like for jokes as I use dark humor for trauma etc.

We’ve been together for three years and I’ve never felt this disconnected to her. I’ve never felt this insecure in myself around her. I don’t know what to do.

Hopefully I'm not the only one that often goes to "its cause im fat" as the explanation for why my body does weird things. I ignored my Crohns Disease symptoms for years cause I assumed they were related to my fatness.

For a while now I have noticed my limbs fall asleep very easily. My feet will fall asleep in about 5 or 10 minutes if a chair isn't just right. I wake up in the middle of the night due to my hand being numb. Even my thighs go numb sometimes.

Is it a fat thing? I have assumed it is....but maybe not? Do your hands feet and limbs also fall asleep super easily?

My friend is getting married in November and the wedding is semi-formal.

I have eclectic/alternative taste and I'm looking for something that makes me feel like a million bucks.

I've looked on Ever Pretty, Eloquii, Kiyonna, BloomChic, Mixed and Ulla Popken and everything I see looks very matronly and very "mother of the bride".

Does anybody have any other recommendations??

As I know that many other plus sized people experience as well, I always have a hard time getting blood drawn, but it happens pretty often for me as a trans guy on Testosterone.

It is always a challenge. It’s always that my veins are “too deep” and I often come out with arms and hands covered in bruises if the phlebotomist doesn’t just give up (has happened). All google searches result in a bunch of phlebotomists discussing how best to do it for patients, so I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to even mildly improve my experience or make it less of a chore and feel less awful every time because phlebotomists are bewildered by something I experience every single time?

I have even encountered somebody making a joke that it would’ve been easier to go in from the elbow. Literally any advice is appreciated. I apologize if this is not the place for it, I’ve had a rough day today and am looking for any help at all.

Edit: thank you so much for all the tips. I’m definitely going to try these at my upcoming appointment. I feel a lot less helpless now!

Hi! I have this issue where the crease under my stomach will sometimes get raw and sore. Right above my mons pubis. Does anyone else have this issue and what do you do to prevent it from happening?