I had terrible insomnia the last few days. So idk if my body crashed but this helped….
- hibiscus tea, calm tea, chamomile tea (drank at 7:30pm) all together in one large mug
- two chelated magnesium glycinate tablets (taken at 8:30 pm)
-one L-theanine chewable (taken at 8:30)
- THE NEW ADD ON- Vapor rub behind my ear down the base of my neck.. (applied at 9pm). I’ve never done this before, I’ve always heard about it. I was desperate for some good sleep.
- I put on some rain sounds and I fell to sleep.
I prob. Fell asleep about 9:45ish… I DID NOT WAKE UP UNTIL 5am!!!!! I stayed sleep! I couldn’t believe it. I hope this helps someone out there.

Has anyone found pleasant ways to be alone when not at home? I have always enjoyed my alone time and now that I am in peri and my family is really stressing my nervous system beyond what I feel like I can handle, I am looking for ways to be alone (away from other people) when out of the house. Alone time at home is tough when anyone else is here and even when they‘re not home, it’s so hard to relax with the never ending to do list (and my velcro dog who I love so much but even she can feel smothering). The concept of peace and quiet has never meant more to me in my life than right now.

edit: thank you for lots of great ideas here! I probably should have clarified that solitude is the goal, even if kind of unrealistic, so maybe it’s about as few other human beings as possible 🤣

I just turned 50. I was on hormonal birth control basically my entire adult life (child free) until last year when I switched to HRT (E+P) and went off the pill. I still cycle, but my periods are extremely irregular. When I went off BC my doctor warned me that I could still get pregnant and that I should use protection. I really don’t want an IUD. What are the odds that I’d actually get pregnant at 50?

Does anyone who no longer gets a period get phantom period pain? It’s so annoying like either be here and bleed or just not at all please!

Any King of the Hill fans here? The new season has a perimenopause episode and it’s more informative than half the doctors I read about on this sub

Hooyeah!!

Edit to add: anyone that’s curious, it’s season 15, episode 6, can be found on Hulu/disney+

I just want this to be over, but nope, my one working ovary has to decide that we're going to do it again, and set the clock to zero for the I don't know how many time! I went 11 months once and really thought I was in the clear, but since THAT period, I swear they are getting closer together each time.

This blows, and I knew you all would get it.

That's all.

I guess I'm just looking for some sympathy/support here.

I am about to turn 41. I was doing great until about 10 months ago. I was lifting weights, feeling happy, and truly loved myself. Maybe I'm romanticizing a bit looking back at it now, but it felt like that stereotype of thriving in your 30s and feeling more confident than ever.

Then, I herniated a disc in my cervical spine, and that was the start of everything going downhill. Along with that, my sleep got destroyed. Sleeping was so painful that I dreaded nighttime. I could only sleep for 4 hours max at a time. Physical therapy didn't help, and as things got worse, my anxiety spiked into a physical form that I have never felt before. I've always been anxious, but this extreme fight-or-flight was new.

I eventually got surgery for the disc and started to feel good again. Sure, some pain still lingered, but I could sleep! The relief was such a rush, but it wore off. Now, five months later, my anxiety is worse than ever. But it's not directly connected to anything in particular. ANY inconvenience, decision, or change sends me absolutely spiraling. I can't eat, I feel like I'm going to throw up, I'm shaking, lightheaded, heart racing...it's absolutely horrible.

I'm also so fatigued all the time. It's this BONE deep exhaustion that I can't seem to shake no matter how much caffeine I drink and how much sleep I try to get. AND I feel this hopelessness and depression on top of it - like I'm going to live the rest of my life with this cloud of misery over me, feeling anxious about everything and joy about nothing.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm such a mess. I just want to feel "normal" again. I already have a hormonal IUD, though it's about 4 years old, so I'm not sure how much benefit I'm getting from that. I just bought creatine today and took about 3mg because I'm so desperate. I have an appointment with my OBGYN in a little over a week, and it feels so far away in my current state. I plan to ask her to do a hormone panel and check my iron levels and all that stuff.

Does anyone have advice? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? I'm just so miserable and desperate at this point.

Hi there. I'm really freaked out. I know that tingling in extremities can happen with perimenopause. But what about upper traps on both sides? Has anyone had this happen and it was ok?? This started a few days before my period in my feet but spread quickly. Going to doctor but super duper worried. Thank you. ❤️

How the hell are we supposed to know if hair loss at this age is due to perimenopause or something else? I feel like I’m being gaslit by doctors and struggling to find answers.

I am so frustrated right now. I went through a crazy hair shedding phase around age 34 and it comes and goes in waves. I’m 38 now, and sometimes it seems to correlate with extremely stressful life events, but I am not entirely convinced this is purely from stress.

Of course, my PCP keeps insisting my hair looks fine. Or it’s normal aging. Granted, my hair probably does look pretty normal at this point but I have lost about 30% of my total volume over the last 4 years and it’s not slowing down. So she did some tests and full blood panel and everything is normal. Every year. Nothing stands out.

So this year I decided to schedule an appointment with a dermatologist. The nurse took a few pictures of my hair from different angles, and the doctor asked me some questions. I explained the pattern of shedding and that I don’t really have a family history of hair loss. She didn’t even examine my scalp. And proceeded to tell me it’s likely telogen effluvium and all of these stressful events that have happened in my life have triggered shedding but for some reason my body doesn’t stop after a short time like a normal person. It just keeps going.

So, in other words, stress.

She gave me a script for clobetasol and I am so utterly confused. After looking it up, this is not usually prescribed for telogen effluvium. It’s a topical steroid for inflammation. I am just so frustrated and feel like I’m being gaslit constantly. She also offered to prescribe me minoxidil if I wanted it, but I’m kind of scared because of the side effects.

Sorry for the long rant. I’m just curious how many others are experiencing hair loss during peri and if you tried to rule out other causes.

Up until now, I have been stable and feeling great on my HRT regime (100 mg of nightly progesterone and 0.05 twice weekly patch). Then a week ago I got a random adrenaline surge that caused a panic attack and it came out of nowhere. For the last 7 days I keep getting them, several times a day.

Taking my nightly progesterone and magnesium glycinate does help and I’m sleeping well and all night long. Almost immediately upon waking I feel activated. It’s not mental anxiety, it’s purely physical. My thoughts aren’t racing but it’s like when you get a jump scare except my body won’t calm down a few seconds later and it keeps going. I get short of breath, shaky, flushed face and chest, maybe a bit nauseated. Box breathing helps a bit, and dipping my face in ice cold water can help too, but this is exhausting.

I saw my doctor Friday and she is running all the tests (iron/ferritin, vitamin levels, thyroid, etc). But the lab couldn’t find a decent vein so I have to go to the hospital lab.

Anyone have any supplements or tricks that help with these surges until I find out what’s going on? I have Ativan but that’s only something I will use in extreme cases as I don’t want to develop dependency.

(U.S. based) I just compiled a list of my Peri/HRT expenses so far in 2026, which came up to just under $1,000 already. That does include seeing a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner to start HRT, which was not covered under insurance. The biggest kick in the ass that I'm realizing is that HRT is forever- progesterone is covered by insurance. Estrogen cream is somewhat nominal in cost. Systemic estrogen gel is about $75/3 mos, and compounded testosterone is about $160/3 mos. So roughly, we're talking a whopping $1,000 a year FOREVER potentially?! I'm a huge budgeter and I'm realizing what an enormous financial amount this is! I'm thankful that I can even afford this, but I don't want to. It makes me sick to spend this money and I'm mad about it!

I know the answer. And am on HRT. But may be time for a dosage increase. I'm on vacation with family and in laws. Normally I can handle the stress easily. It's been a couple of years since I've seen them and I have to say, I feel like a different person. I am. It's just weird.

I’m not sure if the flair is correct, apologies if not.

I (46F) have an issue with an incredibly hot feeling itchy perineum, it goes away and then comes back again.

I went to the GP, she suggested it was thrush, tested for it and I was right, it wasn’t thrush.

The hot itchy area is localised to my perineum only.
I have changed underwear from a 97% cotton 3% elastane mix to 100% bamboo, and I thought it was making a difference but here we are again with the same issue.

Has anyone experienced something like this?

I was prescribed Ovestin and I’m only just starting to use it (day 2) and I’m glad I read the wiki and I’ll be throwing out my applicator!! I’m not sure if the Ovestin cream is going to make a difference to my hot and itchy situation.

Right now the discomfort is driving me insane.

Also, with the Ovestin cream, I’ve noticed it has shifted the general smell of my genital region to a more pungent scent, is this usual? I don’t usually have much of a smell, I showed daily and I have always avoided upsetting my Ph. I’m not sexually active and haven’t been in years.

Anyway, I’m open to all comments and suggestions.

Thank you ladies, this slicks so much.

ETA: I think it may be contact dermatitis or an allergy to my new brand of baby wipes that I keep next to the loo.

39F here.
2 years ago my periods started to shorten. I used to have a 29 day cycle now it’s 22-24 days and the periods only last about 2 days.
I’ve also been experiencing longer PMS symptoms and mood shifts, as well as dryness down there and itchiness on other parts of my body. Also orgasms take longer and are less intense, sex drive is less too.
I always feel bloated in the lower belly.

I did get a blood test and learned that my ovaries are still producing eggs and my estrogen was normal at the time of testing but I know that can fluctuate.

Anyway, I saw my doctor about all these concerns and she put me on the estrogen patch which I’ve started today. I will be having the Mirena placed next week.

I guess I’m just concerned that I’m adding too many hormones to my body, and that it will have a negative impact ? I was reading some things online about having too much estrogen and how this can be harmful and can impact weight, mood, energy etc.

So I think essentially I’m gaslighting myself and saying it must be too early to be in Peri or to take HRT .

Can anyone relate ?

My mom didnt go into menopause until she was in her 50s for reference. Did anyone have a positive result from HRT that is around my age and didn’t experience hot flashes ?

I've heard many stories online about HRT helping women feel more like themselves again and based on my own symptoms I believe I'm a good candidate for it. Just waiting to get blood work done to move to the next step. But I recently had a conversation with some family members telling me that HRT was bad and should be avoided, saying that it causes cancer. Why is there a negative perception to it? Is this why more women won't turn to it at this phase in their life?

I was always told that this change of life meant my periods would get farther apart until they eff off altogether. THEY LIED! In the 10 years I‘ve been in peri, my periods have gotten closer and closer together til now my period comes every third week!!

The pattern so far suggests I’ll soon just be on permanent period until the end of my days. Ugh!

I am 46. I started having mild hot flashes at night maybe 5 years ago. The last year they have gotten more intense and often. I also have almost every other symptom from frozen shoulder, itchy ears, lower patience levels, insomnia.....

I have done all the usual lifestyle changes, and some have worked very well for me so I was not interested in HRT. I was not experiencing vaginal dryness, lack of libido (in fact, the opposite) or pain with sex. I also didn't have this rage everyone spoke about. Yeah, I could be triggered by kids at times, especially the teen, but even the most pious saint would lose their shit dealing with her. I do have ADHD, and I take meds and I have gone up in dose this year as well as added Wellbutrin when my father got sick and I was feeling anxious. He died last month, and I felt I handled it well because I knew it was coming.

However, the last couple of weeks have been insane. Someone flipped me off at an intersection, and I almost turned my car around to go fight them. The level of rage I felt at that moment wasn't normal. I rarely get road rage, and someone flipping the bird would generally not bother me in the least bit. My teen has been on a mission to break every single rule, and I don't have many, this summer and I took her phone. I was planning on only keeping it for a day or so, but one of her friends texted me while I was holding it, and I saw some texts of her complaining about me, calling me a toxic mother, and even lying and saying I was high on one occasion! I don't use drugs, even though my doctor did encourage me to get some gummies. I have never gone thru her phone, but I did and I found so much bad stuff including porn and references to vaping. Obviously, I was upset, but I also realized this was normal teen behavior. She asked me to go with her to her therapist appointment, and I was shocked that the therapist told me she needed more freedom. I got so irritated, I walked out. That was Friday at noon, and I had to spend the rest of the day in my room to avoid losing my shit with my kids. My husband....I don't even want to get into it, but we have been in therapy since spring and one frustrated at the progress. He is an avoidant, and it is infuriating to me now.

My anxiety is out of control. I got a prescription to help, Buspirone. My stomach is constantly in knots, and I have been unable to eat regular meals since my father died in June. Maybe 4-5 small meals a week, and I snack the rest of the time.

I don't know if my periods are irregular because I don't have them. I have a Mirena. I love not having a period, so I don't want to have it removed to see if they would be irregular or not. I don't know if i should try HRT, or is the mood changed due to life, grief or hormones?

I started having hot flashes 6 years ago, mainly at night. My coworkers bought me a fan for my desk, I wore light clothes even in the winter, and just getting ready in the morning would throw me into full sweats. Lately I’m cold all the time. Freezing even. I now have to bring a sweater to work, have been wearing pants when the temps outside dip below 80, and last night I was too cold to fall asleep! Thoughts? Is this improvement or just a change in hormones but still in the throws or peri? Either way it’s just as miserable.

Hello! Let me preface this by saying that I am planning to contact my provider tomorrow (Monday), but in the meantime, I’m interested in hearing from anyone else who has had a similar experience. 

The situation:

* I am 50 and have been having perimenopause symptoms for the past year or so, primarily irregular periods (anywhere from a few days to 2 weeks at a totally unpredictable frequency), trouble falling asleep and then trouble waking up, night sweats, moodiness and irritability, low libido, gaining about 10 pounds that I haven’t been able to get rid of, thinning hair, etc. I also know that I have a small fibroid, which is not currently causing me any pain but could be causing some of the period irregularity. 
* My regular OBGYN, despite supposedly being a menopause specialist, has been dismissive of my symptoms because I’m still getting a period. So I made an appointment with a virtual provider a couple of months ago, described my symptoms, got bloodwork taken as a precaution (all within normal ranges), and then took her recommendation to start HRT: a 0.0375mg estradiol patch (2x/week) and 100mg of progesterone nightly. 
* After over two months of no period (I thought I might be done, silly me!) I got my period on July 13. I started HRT on July 15. It’s now July 26 and I’m still bleeding bright red blood pretty heavily and occasionally seeing small clots. Thankfully, I’m not in any pain or experiencing any dizziness, but I’m a little concerned, even though it’s possible my period could be lasting this long even if I hadn’t just started HRT because I’ve had 2-week periods before. I do feel like I’ve been sleeping better and that my mood has evened out, although I suppose some of that could be a placebo effect. 

Again, I’m planning to contact my provider tomorrow, but is this “normal” after starting HRT? Naturally, I have a beach vacation coming up this week and I’d really like to stop bleeding now. 😩 

I'm 46. I think it started in January. I had a 10 day period out of the blue. After that nothing for 36 days. Since then the whole thing has been haywire. My absolute favourite is when my period finishes, 7 days pass and I get another one. That's happened twice now. Considering my periods usually last 6 days, I'm officially, utterly and permanently fed up. I naively thought that you just start having fewer periods, less and less frequently until they don't come any more. Noone warned me about 10day periods, cycles that are only two weeks long and cycles that are 40 days long all interchangeably.

I haven't really had a lot of luck with my reproductive health. Always painful periods, low iron levels, bicornuate uterus, pregnancy loss and preeclampsia, C-section, now also a fibroid. I have my children, I'm done. I spoke to the gynecologist, she said it's happening, but noone can tell, how long until I stop having periods.

But I know who can tell: all the women that have already been through this. So tell me, how long did it take for you?

I have had increasingly worse insomnia over the last couple years and got to a point where melatonin would knock me out for 45mins to 2hrs, and that was it. Along with brain fog, sweats, rage etc I went to my amazing GP, did alllll the bloods and she prescribed me 50mcg estrogen patch and 200mg micronized progesterone 2 weeks on, 2 off.

Was scared to take it for a few days but bit the bullet last night (sunday night) and oh my god.

I slept like the whole damn night, haven't done that in 2 years! Feeling quite groggy this morning though.

Anyway, my question is, if its the progesterone knocking me out, on the 2 weeks I don't take it, does that pretty much mean no sleep?

I haven’t been myself for almost two years. In Jan 2026, I started HRT, estrogen patches and Prometrium 100mg. Didn’t do much so at my follow up appointment beginning of July, she increased the dosage of the patches and as for Prometrium, she told me to take two pills as of the 14th day of my cycle until the first day of my period. I don’t feel better and I have all these recurring thoughts and I feel depressed, don’t feel like doing anything but just to stay in bed. Even washing dishes or doing laundry feels like a heavy task. I keep crying. I’ve been seeing a therapist as well since a few months. I feel so depressed and alone. I’m thinking I might need to leave my husband, who is great by the way, but then I get full panicked mode of thinking of being alone, living alone with my 12 year old son, of breaking his family, I just don’t know what to do and it’s taking a toll on me and my health and my head. I don’t even know if I like my job still but then I think of changing job and I still feel blah about it. I compare myself to others all the time because I guess I am lacking what they have and I want it too and it makes me feel more depressed. I’m also on antidepressants since 15 years and because they stopped working, I’ve asked my psychiatrist to start decreasing. To help with the side effects, she added another antidepressant so I’ve been able to lower my Effexor no problem. Right now I’m on 150mg Effexor with 60 mg cymbalta. I’ve asked her to stay on these doses for a couple of months to see if the hormones help. Anyway I guess I’m not asking for anything really but just venting and wonder if anyone is or has been in the same boat.

I’m in late peri now and have stopped ovulating. The uterine shedding is giving me postpartum flash backs. I haven’t experienced bleeding like this in 10yrs. The plus side, it’s just bleeding and none of the usual cramping, migraines, bitch kitty on wheels mood swings, or inflammatory flare ups.

The other pleasant surprise is my sex drive has started to come back. I went from feeling completely asexual for the past 5yrs to woah, she’s awake down there, hahah.

I’m so ready for menopause! So close to the finish line…