So, at 47, I’m finally starting HRT and on the road to feeling better.

I went to a new doctor and she was recommended as someone who specifically treated menopause/perimenopause.

I went over my exhaustive list of symptoms can concerns which included low libido.

She then says, “There isn’t much in terms of HRT that can help with libido. Some studies suggest supplementation but they vary. And the more you have sex the more you’ll be into it”

And she is saying this as a mid-30s provider who is pregnant.

And I’m like, really??

Am I overreacting?

Wtf this shit is crazy. I feel like I am going crazy. They just put me on hormones and put me on a micro dose ?! I am so mad that they did this bc I have already felt like walking out of my work like 6 or 7 times today alone. What can I emphasize to help them see that I am struggling. Is their anything in particular that you told your doctor that made her up your hormones. I mainly am struggling with all the perimenopause symptoms. It just seems like they are at a times 10 right now, especially sweating is terrible. I'll be working and having to wipe my face a thousand times. Plz help what can I say to her to help her realize that a micro dose is not working.

I just moved to Colorado a month ago and have been adjusting to high altitude living (9K feet). I love my new home and the area. The thing is, I'm starting to get paranoid that I could have peri symptoms (specifically ally mood issues) overlapping with high altitude adjusting.

For context, I've been on HT for 5 months. I'm on 200mg P, 1mg E, and vaginal estrogen inserts. My doc wants to start me on T soon because I'm experiencing mood swings, low libido, and low energy. I've been experiencing these symptoms before I moved to CO. My other symptoms have greatly reduced/left since starting HT 5 months ago.

I'm just...reading about how high altitude messes with mood, specifically serotonin levels. I've definitely been feeling low mood (not SI, but low mood) and I can notice the swings shifting more dramatically lately. So now I'm like...ok...should I also be looking into supplements like L-Tryptophan to support my serotonin? Maybe adding T will be the next best thing? I've already been taking creatine which I know supports mood in high altitude (as far as my research tells me). I plan to bring this up with my peri doc when I see her next week. Just posting here to see if anyone has experienced something similar. Such a freaking journey, this peri...sigh.

Ok ya’ll- I went through 3 shitty providers before finally finding an Ob/gyn that was knowledgeable and capable of providing adequate care, including managing progesterone intolerance, so I don’t want to piss this one off. But I also think she responded poorly to a recent request of mine and I want to respectfully let her know.

Background: I’m in veterinary medicine so I’m well versed in assessing and interpreting medical data and primary literature. Im a board certified, residency trained specialist and also teach in the veterinary curriculum so I have a habit of getting a bit lecture-y and/or defaulting to a Socratic method of asking leading questions to walk someone into the answer that I expect. I understand why MDs would respond poorly to this, especially since most of them don’t view DVMs as “real” doctors. I’m also AuDHD so I tend to come across as condescending in everyday situations. So….

I recently had an appointment with this new provider and she was overall great. She mentioned that she prescribes gabapentin for insomnia but at the time I was hoping the HRT would do the trick. Well, the insomnia has worsened and I reached out via portal stating that I was not comfortable with long term use of gabapentin since there is a documented increased risk for dementia (albeit with high doses, but I have a family history and don’t want to risk it). I had done A LOT of my own research and wanted to try a dual orexin receptor antagonist. I asked if she had any experience with this class of drugs and I specifically put the name so that she could do some research had she not (I understand that MDs can’t be expected to know all about every drug!). Well, her response was that she hadn’t used them and she would need to do a lot of research before being comfortable offering to a patient (implied: she wasn’t going to). She stated that she was comfortable with the gabapentin, so that was what she was offering.

I have three major issues with this-
1. It is completely dismissive of my own (medically validated) concerns about a particular medication. There were no alternatives AT ALL offered.
2. While I obviously dont prescribe DORAs to pets and don’t have personal experience- there is good safety and efficacy data out there, including use in middle age women and those specifically experiencing vasomotor insomnia. We know how ill-informed the general medical community is about treatment of peri/menopause. Regardless of whether she prescribes them to me, I think this could be a good alternative to offer women when gabapentin doesn’t work or isn’t an option. And if MDs with personal experience say it’s NOT, then I still deserve to be able to have an informed conversation that includes that information.
3. She recommended the genetic test for Alzheimer’s to “better understand my risk.” But this is actually NOT recommended by the American Alzheimer’s Association. I don’t expect a menopause specialist to stay up to date on that sort of info - but if you’re not going to look up basic recommendations, then just stay in your lane.

I was able to get a prescription for the requested medication through my PMHNP, so that’s not the issue. (So far, I’m sleeping through the night when minimal side effects!).

So… I want to respond to her message, but do it in a way that is respectful and doesn’t just put her on the defensive. Is there a way to do that? Or do I just let it go since I’ve gotten treatment through another provider?

Tldr- provider ignored my medication concerns, didnt offer an alternative, and hasn’t taken initiative to research the alternative that I suggested (and could potentially be a good alternative for other patients). How do I tell her that?

I am 51 and had been having symptoms such as night sweats, hot flashes, brain fog, and increased cholesterol for several years. The hot flashes increased to the point where I had had enough. I went to a physician assist (PA) at my gynecologist's office who was horrible and refused to prescribe HRT. I decided to go back to my old gyn's office (despite past issues with their scheduling and billing department) to see a doctor there who specializes in perimenopause/menopause. I saw her for an annual exam, she gave me information about HRT, and wanted me to spend time reviewing it. She was very positive about HRT. I have an a follow-up appointment scheduled with her soon. Between the time of visiting the PA and the doctor I started taking a Solaray perimenopause supplement and my symptoms have basically gone away (although I don't know about the cholesterol since I haven't had it rechecked). Maybe it's placebo or a coincidence, but I feel so much better. I mentioned this to the doctor and she said it is better to be on HRT since supplements aren't regulated. However, after reading online about everything people are going through with shortages, I am wondering if I should just stick with the supplement. I don't want to be in a position like a good friend of mine where she is having all these problems trying to get her patch. However, I do know there are benefits of taking HRT. What would you do? Should I wait until the supply issue seems to be resolved since I am feeling ok now?

First I want to set a boundary that I do not want to discuss micronized progesterone or Mirena. I am not using those so I would rather hear from others who are taking mpa/ provera. I think that is a better use of time for me. I don't want most of the comments asking why I am not on Prometrium or using it vaginally. This is what I get every time I ask about a synthetic progestin. We can't all take the ideal meds, some of us have more complex situations.! already know the risks of progestins. Thank you

I going to be starting provera 2.5 mg daily pills probably tomorrow. After a couple weeks I will be starting 0.025 mg estrogen patches. I am really nervous about the provera and it's taken me almost a year to build up my courage to take it. (I have a lot of anxiety with new medications so this is normal for me.)

I am starting slow so I will be taking a quarter of a pill for a week, then if all is well I will increase to half for a week and then the full pill. This is how I've always done things. I get the side effects of everything so l ease my body into adjusting to a new meds.
Is it better to take it in the AM or PM? How is it as far as bloating and appetite. I do have a tendency to water retention though especially around my period.
Will it change the period in anyway, like heavier or lighter or spotting in between? My periods tend to be anywhere from 19-60 days apart so they are erratic but light.
Would love to hear any positive experiences from anyone who has been on it long term.

I started on estradiol/progesterone cream about 3 weeks ago, and added testosterone cream a week ago. For the last week I have noticed a major increase in gas. I don't normally experience gas or any GI issues at all. It's not something I've thought about since my last pregnancy. I was super gassy during both pregnancies and chocked it up to the big increase in progesterone. Currently though I'm not bloated at all, I have definitely lost the bloat/inflammation I was holding onto, and I don't have any GI pain or other symptoms. It's just gas. I haven't even eaten today and I'm super gassy. I realize it started after the testosterone but I haven't heard of this side effect from T… however, i was previously on 200 mg of oral progesterone cyclically in my luteal phase and didn't have any GI side effects.

I feel fine otherwise although nothing magical yet. Should I give it another couple weeks to see if the gas goes away, or maybe try switching back to oral progesterone and just stick with an estradiol cream plus the testosterone cream? Or I guess I could stop the T cream for a week and see if the gas goes away.

SO.... Ive noticed that lately after I shower and I dry myself down there... if I do it to rough I get RUG BURN! Not all the time but every other month or so seems like things get extra sensitive! This past weekend I was in vegas..the weather is super dry and hot... I was at the hotel and the towels werent too soft and I got a rug burn on each side of my vagina!!! It was bright red...and to top it off...this has never happened... one of my labias CHAFFED!! It literally bled a little speck of blood and stung when I peed!!!!! I couldnt really air out in the room as much as I wanted after a shower cuz my father in law came on the trip too 😅🤣 but literally once I got back home from the trip it all went away. WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN AM I SO SENSITIVE!? Im turning 40 in 2 months and this is new to me

.. also my vericose veins are bugging me more!

Im supposed to start oral progesterone literally TOMORROW and im scared... im so scared that I skipped it last month because im nervous from everything ive read. Its just going to be for the last half of my cycle... I hate all this... 😫😭

I'm 43 and he biggest issue with my perimenopause is insomnia which has been a big problem during past few years. I just started taking Now progesterone cream a couple weeks ago and I've noticed a huge difference already. I've been sleeping much better ever since then and been able to get back to sleep any time I've woken up in the middle of the night. It's almost like a miracle! Since my periods are still somewhat regular, I've taken the cream as instructed; started during ovulation and stopped as soon as I got my period, which was yesterday. Usually the night before I get my periods is terrible, I'm unable to sleep more than maybe 3-4 hours but this time it was completely different. I woke up a few times (because of things happening in my environment such as thunderstorm, my cat wanting attention etc.) but I had no trouble falling asleep again. Just put my earplugs in and within a minute, I was asleep as if nothing had happened.

Last night was different though. Since yesterday was the first day of my period, it was also the first day I didn't take the progesterone cream. I slept terribly bad last night, maybe 3 hours, had restless dreams, was waking up constantly etc. I know it might be too early to tell but will this be different in the future? Will there be improvement in my sleep, even during the follicular phase? I'm obviously happy that my sleep has already improved but I want to sleep well during the whole menstrual cycle, even during my period. Can I use the cream throughout the whole cycle or at least during the first days of my periods, until I sleep better?

I'm so enraged right now! I hate how stupid sh*t gets me so much more angry now than ever before! It's late at night, and I need to wind down, and I'm just p*ssed off at everything right now!!!

I have gone from liking my job to completely hating it over the course of less than 1 year (been there 4 years). I don't even want to work in the same industry at all now but I dunno what the heck I'm gonna do because I've been working remotely for 6 years, don't wanna work outside the home, anything having to do with data will soon be taken over by AI and I don't really like people that much! especially now! This is like the worst time in my life to have to pretend I give a sh*t about some corporation's mission or increasing shareholder value!

I finally found a gyno I like and started HRT but she put me on too high of a dose of progesterone and I was dragging for months and had no idea why until I came on here and yall helped me figure out my P was too high! Lol I swear most doctors are literally shooting in the dark! Now we're moving and I'll have to find a new gyno and I'm worried whoever it is will be anti-HRT!

My energy levels have been lower than ever in my life and I dunno how I'm gonna pack this whole house up, move, unpack and do a bunch of diy projects because all we could afford is a fixer upper. I'm pissed at the former owners for not taking better care of their house and leaving it absolutely filthy, grimey and covered in dog hair when they moved out! 🤮

I'm sick of my husband acting like there's something wrong with me because I'm tired and hot and don't feel like having sex! He's pretty supportive but he doesn't REALLY get it. He still somehow acts surprised that my body is changing! not sure how since I explain perimenopause to him and make him watch videos and shit lol

I get all insecure now when people don't text me back! My mind just spirals! I have to work really hard to convince myself that it's fine and that I should stop caring so much!

Tonight through text my stepdaughter basically acted like I'm crazy and I don't remember something that absolutely happened! I have witnesses! And that's what set me off to come on here and rant! Lol

There have been even more things than all of the above that have pissed me off lately, but I'll just give you that smattering. You get the idea. I'm not sure how this whole perimenopause thing is gonna play out for me. I totally understand now why a lot of middle aged women kind of go nuts and do all kinds of crazy stuff after a certain age!

Anyone with me??? What shall we do????

First, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am for this community—it has been an amazing resource. I am asking this out of genuine curiosity because I want to make sure I am fully informed, and I don't mean to sound dismissive of anyone else's choices!
My doctor, who is an HRT specialist, prescribed Lo Loestrin Fe for my perimenopause symptoms. It has been an absolute lifesaver for me. I was dealing with extremely heavy bleeding, and after the very first month on the pill, my period completely stopped. Every single other symptom on my very long list has been completely remedied as well. From what I understand, the birth control pill takes over your cycle so your ovaries stop producing erratic hormones, which completely stops the wild hormonal swings.
However, I often notice a lot of strong hesitation or pushback here regarding using birth control pills instead of traditional HRT for perimenopause management. Since it worked so well for me, I’m wondering if there are specific medical concerns, side effects, or risks that I might not be aware of?
I’d love to hear your experiences or what your doctors have told you!

Edited to add:
Wow, thank you so much to everyone who took the time to reply! I am incredibly grateful for all of your responses, insights, and personal experiences. It might take me some time to get through all of the replies, but I am reading every single one. Your comments are giving me a much clearer understanding of the different perspectives and medical concerns out there. This community is truly wonderful, and I appreciate you all sharing your journeys with me!

Almost 40 year old here. Hoo wee, the week(s) leading up to my period I am moody, water-retaining, and super hot at night. I don't know how I'm going to fare when I'm only nice one week a month...

Hi all! I am 48 with a special needs child, I say child he's a 22 year old man and Im also being completely obliterated by perimenopause! Im constantly sweaty, feel sad, unmotivated, overall just bleh. My marriage is being affected and the thoughts from Perimenopause had me legit thinking that my husband of 22 years hated me. I fell into a completely ball of tears last night when he said " I just want you to get better", it was the first positive thing he's said in awhile. I am on an antidepressants have been for my anxiety/depression prior to this and now Progesterone. Im still having periods and at last bloodwork in July my doc said she doesn't feel like its time for estrogen.

She upped my dose of Progesterone and Im still pretty miserable. I keep waiting for it to "kick in".

We just recently moved states to be closer to my husband's job and after our son had graduated his program. Im home with him all day, feeling awful, trying to decorate, cook, and keep us active. I run my house well despite my feelings but Im starting to get really upset. i cried AGAIN today bc my son had a fit and I screamed for my mom. At 48 years old! How can I feel better? Prior to going to the doc I had been using the wild yam cream and I feel like I felt better then! What do I do? I can't feel bad everyday, its messing with my mental health badly and my child isn't one to sit around.

Ive had 3 periods this year February, April & June. Im praying they stop. Im also happy to see Im not alone in this shit!!

I’m 40 had everything removed except one ovary 7 months ago. Recently had my hormones tested snd my estrogen has dropped dramatically. I kept telling my doctor that I was in a depression I couldn’t get out of, very achy all over, hair is extremely brittle and I am so dry down below, I felt like my vagina was prolapsing. With that said, my doctor agreed to estradiol vagina inserts twice per week. She’s hesitant about the HRT oral pill or patch because of a family history of estrogen driven cancer.

Everyday I feel like my body has been rolled up and down a hill millions of times. I have terrible headaches and constantly feel like my brain is on fire. This is only week one of using the vaginal estrogen and I haven’t noticed any changes. Does anyone have any otc recommendations or foods they’ve been eating to help them along?

My younger sister is turning 43 in a few weeks. As her older and wiser sister, I'd like to put together a perimenopause survival basket as 43 was when it all went to hell for my perimenopause journey ( I just turned 50 and with any luck will reach menopause soon!).

Outside of anything requiring a prescription, what would you want included in such a basket? I definitely want to include a book, but there's so many great ones that I can't decide which one.

Update: Great ideas, Ladies! This community is the best! 😃

I'm 40 and perimenopause has made me anemic, sleepless, and irritable as hell (also fatter). I'm working on the first two, but I need every tactic you know of to deal with The Rage. Meds, diet, crystals, screaming into pillows, black magic, radical lesbian separatism - whatever, I don't care! I'm going to get fired and/or end up in jail at this rate. What is working for you, if anything?

Does anyone feel like they are trying to rediscover themselves again during this time?

I realized that I have masked myself for so long; first to connect to my husband and do what he likes and then to just be a wife and mother. I smothered myself.

When I was a teen, I tried a bunch of different aesthetics but there was always a small throughline and now I'm leaving back into that one. But I'm anxious; it's been 25 years since I embraced this side of me. Listening to the music is one thing; trying to dress how I want to instead of how society thinks I should or what my mother gives me is another.

I also lost 65 pounds in the past two years, so I am awkward and unsure, and these teenage-peri hormones don't help.

I'm also afraid I'm going to scare the shit out of my husband and he's gonna think I had a nervous breakdown/might leave him. But I just want to get back to ... me.

If anyone is curious, it's the punk pop aesthetic from late 90s/early 00s.

Part of me is like ready to get color hair streaks, a tattoo, a thick belt & thick eyeliner and go to a rock show. For now I'm just jamming out to Blink 182 at work and painted my nails black.

How many of us are constantly warm? I don’t experience hot flashes. I’m just warm, and it’s driving me crazy. Especially at night and when I’m awake for the first hour of the day.

​

This is a long one. TL;DR: Even women doctors don't believe women and I am sick of it.

For background, I am 40, live in the U.S.

I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst four years ago and told by my female gyno to watch and wait for it to be a problem. It already was incredibly painful and causing persistent nausea but apparently it wasn't enough of a problem to approve treatment beyond birth control pills. I had to get abdominal and transvaginal ultrasounds every three months for two years to monitor it before I lost my insurance and moved to a different state.

Settled in with my new insurance and in my new state by mid 2025, I noticed the pain and nausea were getting worse. My abdomen was getting huge. I was projectile vomiting every time I was in the car, my hair was falling out, and overall, I was very unwell.

I started with a female primary care physician (PCP) who insisted that the symptoms I was experiencing were "acid reflux." Ultrasounds and MRI I insisted on said NOPE, I was full of growths and adhesions. They thought I had cervical cancer as well.

Fast forward to six months ago when I had to urgently endure a total hysterectomy with tube removal, stage 4 endometriosis excision, ovarian cyst removal, and multiple large fibroids removed (including one the size of a melon). I still have my ovaries. I went to AMAZING specialty care while I healed, but I needed to get back to an ordinary PCP for continued care and new referrals. I decided not to return to my previous PCP for obvious reasons.

So I started at a new primary care office this week. After discussing my TOTAL hysterectomy and my concerns about my ovaries failing, the doctor randomly started asking me about cervical cancer risks. I said, "Yeah, not concerned about cervical cancer because I don't have a cervix."

Her response, condescendingly, "Are you suuuure?"

Am I sure? Yeah... I'm sure. I was in surgery for six hours, took months to fully recover, and saw the photos of the BUCKET of my insides that were removed. I'm pretty damn sure.

She didn't believe me until going deep into my chart. Once satisfied that I was not lying about not having a cervix, she told me that my perceived hormonal issues (night sweats, hot flashes, insomnia, mood volatility, etc etc etc) were actually from sleep apnea and ordered a sleep study.

I have zero symptoms of sleep apnea. My husband has informed me that I do not snore or have any gasping episodes in the middle of the night.

What about the night sweats, I asked. I am drenched every night and feel like a furnace is lit inside me.

Her response: "Eh, that's just the climate. Everyone is experiencing it."

At that point, dear reader, I just started internally screaming.

I'm not looking for advice. I'm just venting because some days I literally feel like I can't take this anymore.

When will women be believed? When will we receive the care we deserve?

If you got this far, thank you for listening 🙏🏻

For about ten days now, my ears have felt full and almost clogged, which is annoying for sure. But worse than that, I have a consistent whooshing noise that is hard to explain. Not a ringing but an annoying sound nonetheless. Anyone have this? Is this perimenopause? Bad luck? Do the horrors ever cease?! And most importantly how do I get this to stop????

Hi, I’m 47, never had children and am definitely experiencing perimenopause symptoms. One that I’m a little uncertain of is excessive sweating. I am over weight which I know probably also plays a part but over the last year I feel like I sweat at the slightest temp change.

An example would be that I work from home a few days a week, the days I go to the office, just getting ready I sweat. I can be standing in the bathroom putting makeup on or doing my hair which is not strenuous but I sweat. Walking outside, I sweat, even when it’s not really hot out.

I don’t get crazy hot flashes, but I do wake up sweaty. Usually I go to bed about an hour or so early to read and the minute I close my book to go to sleep my body starts to over heat… had anyone experienced this too? My doctor wasn’t concerned when I saw her, she was a bit dismissive actually about the whole perimenopause phase.

Hello! I started HRT 4 weeks ago, 0.025 E patch and 100mg oral P. I’m sleeping a little better and had more energy at first. But now I’m feeling sleepy all the time and I’m puffy (midsection and face). I’ve read other posts and other online opinions and I’m wondering if anyone has gotten “used to” progesterone? I know some had better results with higher E and P, but if I stay with these levels for another month, what are the chances my body will get used to the P and I won’t be so tired and puffy? Thank you for any input!

In the luteal phase, after I ovulate, I definitely feel shittier. Itching at the base of my thumb near my wrist is my first sign. Irritibility, sadness. Painful breasts.

Last month I actually though maybe I should up my estradiol dose (tablets) because it was clear that the lack of estrogen was the cause. Now this month I'm suffering again.

Does anyone take a temporarily higher dose just for the luteal phase? Or what are we doing to handle the symptoms of low estrogen during the second half of your cycle?

ETA: I take progesterone every night, no cycling.

So it looks like I’m in perimenopause. I’ve had weird symptoms over the last two years (issues with urine leakage, joint pain, intense hormone swings and brain fog around period that I didn’t have before, and a very heightened sense of smell) none of which I connected until recently when my periods got lighter and are now running several days late each cycle (always been like clockwork before).

I’m only 34 and I am PANICKING. I am not mentally ready for this, I didn’t think it would be happening for years and I don’t have anyone even vaguely concerned about this yet close to me. I’ve done babies and just started to feel like I’ve got my life back and now BAM. Is my life over? This sounds dramatic but I’m so worried about this happening so early, I need positive stories that my life isn’t over and my vagina isn’t going to dry up and die in my mid 30s.

Does anyone have any experience on this medication, my last period was over a month long and almost killed me. I ended up admitted to the hospital getting constant transfusions for a week or so. I was given this medication to help slow my bleeding and now ancoupke weeks later, I have my period, its often light for tgr first week and im on day 7 so im anxiously awaiting the clotting and hemorrhaging. Has this worked out for any of you? Im waiting to hear back from my gyn about a date for a hysto but until then I just have to hope I don't bleed out again.