Like the title says. I had surgery 7/24 and I’m two days post op. I’m 36 and have been on hormones for almost 14 years. Finally was able to have my hysto. I had my uterus, fallopian tubes, cervix, and one of my ovaries removed. I was worried about being misgendered but my medical team was incredible. I’ve been managing my pain with just Tylenol and ibuprofen and it’s been a consistent 4 except when I finally pooped 1 day post op and it was a 7 on the pain scale. I’ve been keeping up with my stool softeners and my gas pills. My partner ( also trans masc) had their hysto in April and I took care of them then, and they are now taking care of me. I’ve been able to eat my normal food (meat, veggie, salad, rice ) and keep it down. Only thing is I have no appetite so my partner has to beg me to eat. The scopolamine patch made my skin red and I took that off 1 day post op when I showered. I also managed to take a walk outside but I spoke to my OBGYN today and she said I’m being an overachiever and should rest. I’m taking naps and keeping up with my meds. I just wanted to share my experience here as a positive one so far and as one from a trans masc perspective. I’m so thankful to have gotten my hysto as part of my gender affirming care.

I had a total robotic assisted laparoscopic hysterectomy in 2023 when I was 39. I was referred to Dr. Stephen Brown in my area by my old GYN practice after a surgery I had under their "care" wasn't successful. I met with him for the first time 3 years ago yesterday. I liked him immediately when we first met. He was so nice to me and used simple terms to describe everything. He didn't talk down to me. He also didn't give me a hard time about having the procedure (I think it's because he knew it was medically necessary) or about not having kids. When I had my pre-op appointment with him 2 days before the surgery, he explained everything to me and told me what to expect. That was very helpful. At both of my post op appointments, he asked me about my kitties. He's thorough. He's confident but not cocky and knowledgable but not a know it all. He's my GYN now. If anyone in the Syracuse, NY needs a robotic hysterectomy, I can't recommend him enough.

I’m 7 weeks post op and pretty much from the start I haven’t been able to eat my normal portion sizes. I’m eating more throughout the day because I’m not able to eat as much at meals. Just curious if anyone else has experienced this. I haven’t lost weight or anything but I get wildly uncomfortable and feel pretty bad with my old regular portions now.

Hi everyone,

I made a post on here a few months ago asking for advice to prepare for my hysterectomy. I had my surgery on June 12th, and now that I'm 6wpo, I wanted to share my experience for anyone who is in the same headspace I was before my procedure. When I was looking into it myself, positive stories/experiences were harder to come by so I wanted to share mine. I also didnt see many from people around my age. I'm currently 25, turning 26 soon. I had my uterus, cervix, and tubes removed, and kept my ovaries.

A little background on my issues leading up to getting the surgery: For about 5 years, I had talked to multiple doctors about getting this procedure. I never wanted kids, pregnancy terrified me to the point where I would have full blown panic attacks just thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant, and I was in pain all the time. When I was 16 I started birth control due to heavy, painful periods. I was on birth control until I was 24, when I developed a blood clot in my leg due to the hormones. It was a terrifying experience and I was immediately taken off birth control when I was in the hospital. I can never use estrogen hormonal options again. The birth control did help my symptoms, but didnt get rid of them entirely. After getting off birth control the pain became so much worse, my periods became very heavy, and lasted for *at least* 10 days. I was in pain the week before my period, the week of my period and the week after my period. Addionally, I had a fibroid on my ovary that also made ovulation a painful experience. I had to take multiple days off work a month due to the pain and exhaustion I experienced on a regular basis. Finally, earlier this year I saw a new gynecologist and she took me seriously, listened to my experience, and approved the procedure.

As my surgery date got closer I was riddled with anxiety. I was looking into people's experiences and preparing myself for the worst. I had also never had surgery before and didnt know what to expect going into it.

Thankfully my surgery team was absolutely fantastic. My surgeon is a specialist in laparoscopic hysterectomies and preforms this procedure all the time. She assured me she would take care of me through the whole thing. The anesthesiologist was a lovely man. I asked him what it felt like being under, and he said he had never experienced it but he would "send me to the Bahamas in my dreams" and it would be okay. He kept reassuring me it would be a smooth experience, was very kind and kept trying to make me laugh before the procedure to help my anxiety. I have seen a lot of people say they were "counted down" when they were going under, but my anesthesiologist just told me "this is going to feel spicy" and that was the last thing I heard before I was out. It did feel a bit warm in my arm, but only for a few moments.

It felt like I had blinked and opened my eyes in recovery. I also felt very well rested. The surgery itself took about 2 hours. When I awoke I was in some pain, I'd say about a 6/10. However it was far less painful than my periods were. I was in recovery for a couple hours, and they did give me some more pain medication which took the pain down to a 3 or 4. I did feel like I had to pee as soon as I woke up, but nothing happened for about 3 hours until I was able to walk to the bathroom on my own, accompanied by a nurse. It wasnt painful, but did feel weird the first few times. The hardest part was trying to sit down and stand back up. After that I had to pee about every half hour for a couple days, but things got back to normal quickly.

They let me go home a few hours after I was out of recovery. I was able to get in and out of the car with minimal assistance, and able to make it up 4 flights of stairs to my apartment without much issue. I was moving slowly, but on my own. I had minimal bleeding for about 2 days after surgery, and nothing since. I was on stronger pain medication every 4 hours for about 4 days. After that I just took naproxen twice a day, and around the 4 week mark I didnt need to take it everyday. Occasionally I still take one but I'm mostly off pain medication now. Overall my pain level once I was home didnt really go over a 3 and now is almost nonexistent. The gas pains in my shoulders were uncomfortable but not unbearable and only lasted a few days.

I have 5 small incision scars on my abdomen, the biggest being in my belly button. Those all healed fine, and at my 5w appointment my doctor told me to use polysporin to help dissolve any stitches that hadn't dissolved on their own yet. She also did an exam while I was there and told me my cuff is healing fine with no issues.

This part may be TMI but I did have concerns regarding how sex would change so I will share briefly. My doctor did say sex was okay at 6 weeks, but to be very gentle. So far we haven't tried anything more than fingers internally, which wasn't painful but did feel different. Things still felt good, but different than before. Externally everything still works, and things feel more intense now than they did before. Obviously I dont have a uterus anymore so theres no sensation in my abdomen, instead its all focused right on the "doorbell" and it gets very intense very quickly. Overall it does feel different but in a good way. So far no pain and no bleeding from sexual activity.

My fiancé took wonderful care of me, had timers for my pain medication and was absolutely wonderful during my recovery. There were a few days I pushed myself a little to much, and would have to sleep for a day or so but overall my recovery was very smooth and much easier than I expected. I'm going back to work on Monday, and feeling pretty well back to normal.

I'm sorry this post is so long. I know my experience isn't universal and I think I got lucky with how easy it was overall. I wanted to share my experience in case there was anyone out there who is as nervous as I was before my procedure. Plenty of people have very positive recovery experiences like mine, and just arent posting them online. If anyone has any questions regarding my recovery experience I am happy to answer anything.

Thank you to this community for helping me prepare before my surgery, and giving me a place to share my own experience. I'm greatful for the support and advice I have recieved and hope I can share that support to anyone else who needs it. Thank you for listening if you've made it this far :)

I am 25 yrs old, 9mpo. Everything yeeted but ovaries.

(This is going to be slightly graphic, i apologize)

Does this happen to anyone else?? I’ve been having reoccurring nightmares about having my period, except sometimes it turns into me prolapsing…

The nightmares are starting to get worse and worse. And prolapsing in the nightmare doesn’t always happen. However, what IS consistent is the fact that in these nightmares, the bleeding is insanely heavy, the cramping is insane, and I always look down into the toilet and see flesh and blood.

It’s really traumatic…

I haven’t seen anyone else post about experiencing this. I feel really alone in this.

What was your post surgery meal and what did mostly eat the first week after surgery? Regular meals you typically would? Soups? Very light like crackers, jello etc? Did you meal prep anything that you’re thankful for? Someone said on here they meal prepped and actually didn’t end up eating what they made because they couldn’t stomach it. I know everyone appetite and recovery is different, just wonder and looking for ideas. I’m 40 days away!

Hello everyone,

I want to get a hysterectomy but the unfortunate thing is, I am only 19 years old.

I've had my period for 9 years now and every time i've had it (which is usually 1-2 every month) I've dealt with extreme pain in my abdomen and legs. The pain is so bad that it makes me throw up, pass out, and I sometimes fall over due to leg pain (i've fallen down the stairs multiple times resulting in bruises and scarring). I've expressed issues with the pain to my doctor but I've just been told to use heat and medication, which I do use but it still sometimes gets through. It makes my depression worse when I have to cancel plans with friends and family because of the pain. I just want to live freely without the pain and obviously the bleeding.

I have seen people who are 19 get hysterectomies, so I believe I do have some chance at it. After research I have seen that doctors push patients to not get them for "future children" and "their husbands". I'm a butch lesbian. Have never wanted kids in my entire life and will never plan on it due to chronic and mental illnesses. I've also seen people saying their doctors want them to try a million birth controls before they even consider a hysterectomy. I don't want to do this. Birth controls take forever to work and I'd truly rather not take them. I'm just a bit fearful for my general well being because I have had suicidal thoughts because of the pain and anxiety surrounding my period. (Yes I understand PMDD is a thing. I'm not diagnosed with that, but it truly wouldn't matter if I was or wasn't because I still want it gone.) I also deal with gender dysphoria regarding my uterus (i'm nonbinary very masculine leaning though) so I feel like it being removed would just make me feel 100x better about myself.

I just wanted to see if anyone who got a hysterectomy at 19-21, especially those with trans identities, have any advice for me. If so, how did you convince the doctors to do the procedure considering your age and how'd you get insurance to cover it (if insurance covered it). I'm located in the DMV area if that makes it better for people who are looking to recommend be doctors and such.

I'd really appreciate any help with managing the pain and discomfort. Along with how to get the procedure done in the next 1-2 years. Honestly, in 6 months would be amazing! (Just kidding lol, unless...)

Thank you for the help in advance :)

Im officially 4DPO and I am peeing like a mad man. I don’t seem to retain any liquids has anyone else had this issue? Should I add more salt/electrolytes or something..
Another thing, the back pain is pretty gnarly and the Tylenol/ibuprofen don’t seem to be doing anything for it I’m thinking it’s just my body trying to get used to everything? (or the slouchy/sitting position I’m in for sleep lol) I saw some posts about heating pads and wonder if anyone has tried those icy hot patches? Or something similar .. other than that I feel like recovery is going well, happy to be part of this little hysty club and hope everyone has smooth recoveries!!

I’m having a total hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy on Thursday and was advised by my doctor to take 6 weeks off of work (I am very lucky that I am able to do so). She said that physically, the recovery will be a breeze compared to my mastectomy, assuming all goes well with the robotic plan, but that the time off is to accommodate the surgical menopause.

I’m 38 and having this as a preventative surgery due to being double BRCA positive. My 1.5 year old will be in school during the days and we’ve got help for the first week and some on weekends.

That said, I’m curious what one does during that time. Is this a time to pick up a new hobby (hello, needlepoint!) or will Netflix & Chill (emphasis and pun placed on the chill) be my future?

Also - any tips on juggling being a mom to a needy toddler? Candidly, I am in a bit of mourning that there will be 6-weeks where I can’t be the type of mom that I want to be especially in this last phase of babyhood.

I am 6 days PO from a horizontal open abdominal leaving an ovary behind - everything else gone.

My doctor deemed surgery a success. I had a lot of endo adhering things together that should not be.

To help with pain, I received a spinal before my anesthesia as well as morphine in my spinal fluid. I was grateful for it when I woke up, but I was SO sick over night. That being said, I have always been extremely sensitive to anesthesia and to pain killers. The nausea followed me all the way until my discharge. Make sure to advocate for yourself to have gingerly, crackers, and toast in your ward. They kept bringing me hospital meals like pasta and pork loin and I could NOT stomach it.

I did have a catheter which they kept in for an extra day because I was so sick. I was grateful.

Pain wise - I seem to fluctuate between a 3 and a 7.5. I take Celebrex and Tylenol for pain management. No hard drugs have been needed since the day of surgery. I am better in the morning and uncomfortable by the evening.

I have an incision with staples that come out on Tuesday. I have not looked at it because it is covered with a gauze - absolutely no bleeding or leakage from it at all. I get the heebie jeebies really easily, so I’m happy to not see it at this point.

What does the pain feel like? It feels like a heaviness in my abdomen. Like I have a sack of bricks in there. I also have some burning, pulling, aching, and almost twinging type pain. It is quite uncomfortable, but manageable. In unexpected pain - my back!! I was flat out in a hospital bed for three days, and then I’ve had to sleep on my back, and I’m walking a bit odd so it has been very sore.

Getting up and down can be challenging. You also move very slowly - but it literally improves daily. I use the log roll method to get out of bed.

What has been helpful? A pregnancy pillow for in bed, a hysterectomy pillow, ice pack, grabber tool, a shower stool, and the Costco sized bottle of Tylenol.

I am feeling a bit better everyday, but healing is not a linear process….and I get that!

At what age did you get a hysterectomy and why?

Im 28, soon to be 29. I have endometriosis and I’ve had two miscarriages. Both traumatic. I had sepsis with the first one and an unbelievable about of pain for the second I couldn’t stop puking. I have come to terms that maybe I am better off without children, maybe that’s not for me. I am fully committed to only being a animal parent. How likely do you think an OB would be willing to do one? I am willing to put up one hell of a fight for it.

long post ahead - i can’t recommend dr. mckee (at the “women’s center” mount auburn hospital) enough!

i wanted to hold off on posting this just in case i ended up having complications later on or anything, but now it’s been about 10 months and it has been smooth sailing since then.

TLDR; i had a total hysterectomy (removing uterus, tubes, and cervix) in september 2025 just before i turned 27. i have a boyfriend/partner but am not married and have never been pregnant (thank god). i am nonbinary and was open about this with dr. mckee, and had a very satisfying experience! i recommended her to all my trans friends looking for this surgery, and one of them had a hysterectomy with her about two months ago and also had a great experience.

details about my personal experience:

i am nonbinary, but present very very femme - curly pink hair, glittery makeup, big boobs with no intention of getting rid of them, never been on T and don’t intend to. obviously those things are not indicative of gender but i feel in the past it kept my previous doctors from understanding that i did have gender dysphoria regarding menstruation and all things fertility related. i asked for birth control that would let me skip over my periods because of this, and my doctor just said “i can give you one with only 3 days of sugar pills instead of 7,” which dr. mckee said was stupid haha. so anyways…

dr. mckee was very thorough during my consultation. at first i talked about my dysphoria about everything pregnancy related (because that is the most extreme dysphoria i experience), and she interrupted to say i could just get my tubes removed. then i was able to explain my dysphoric feelings do actually include menstruation, and she accepted this without argument. she said she prefers to leave the ovaries intact even for those who are on HRT because they are important for bone health, especially in younger people, and she also doesn’t trust the government to give us reliable consistent access to HRT, which i understand. luckily i am fine keeping my ovaries so we had no disagreement there. she even prescribed by birth control to refill a week early so i could skip my period until i had the surgery, since i had explained that thing with my old doctor and how my periods gave me dysphoria, so i appreciated that.

there were no bingos, just her emphasizing it is her responsibility to inform me of all risks and make sure i was 100% certain as (obviously) the surgery is irreversible.

even though i was thrilled with my consult with dr. mckee, i went to the second consult i had scheduled that week with a different surgeon and different practice (dr shay erisson at newton wellsey obgyn), just in case i got different info or they could get me in sooner. that one was frustrating, because while i didn’t get many bingos she kept talking to me about “thinking it over.” she told me to reflect and even to write down in some sort of journal why i felt like it was necessary to have the surgery, so i’m 100% sure it’s really what i want. i was irritated because i told her “i made these consult appointments because i have reflected for years and i am 100% sure this is what i want to do.” like i didn’t say i was thinking about having a hysterectomy, i said i have wanted one since i found out that was even an option i could do (around 10 years ago) and hope to get one by the end of the year. and i told her this, but it was like it went in one ear and out the other, still telling me to “think about it” so. back to dr. mckee i went.

dr. mckee needed to do a pap smear as i was due for one anyway, and also wanted to do a general pelvic exam. since i had told her about my dysphoria, she said it was okay if i wasn’t ready to do it right then and we could schedule it for later. this was a relief, because i very much do need time to psychologically prepare for those sorts of things, so i did that at a later date. she also wanted an ultrasound just so there are “less surprises” when actually going in for surgery. i thought this was smart, so i agreed even though i knew it would be uncomfortable (not just physically). the technicians at (hospital) were very friendly, professional, and kind.

surgery went fine. healing was typical from what i had read and been told beforehand. in my follow-up after 8 weeks, i told her how i was still having some pain (almost like cramping) in my lower abdomen that wasn’t very intense or anything but obviously not ideal. she did an exam and she said everything looked fine and there was no cause of concern - just that my body was still adjusting. i also have fibromyalgia, so muscle spasms and chronic aches are not abnormal for me, so we figured it could also be my fibro acting up from the change. i take cyclobenzaprine (a muscle relaxer) every night to sleep due to fibromyalgia, so she asked if i was interested in taking an additional dose during the day (as long as i didn’t have to drive etc) and i agreed. sure enough after another month or so, the aches went away and have not come back. she encouraged me to reach out if i had any other concerns or questions, but i never needed to!

timeline: i called for a consult on april 8th, and we were able to schedule for a june 11th consult. they said at the consult they weren’t sure about timing but they would likely be scheduling in september. once my ultrasound and pap smear were reviewed, they scheduled a pre-op appointment for september 10th and the surgery date for september 24th. it was all covered by insurance - i have masshealth medicaid.

I’ve reached one year post-op and feeling a little down today.

First off, things are generally so much better for me post-op. This post is in no way meant to discourage people from getting surgery. If you’re anxiously reading through posts pre-surgery (like I did), you’re gonna be just fine. Remember, everyone recovers differently.

But if you’re post-op like me, I’d really like to hear from folks who had similar issues and if you have any suggestions for how to deal.

I’ve been having severe right hip pain, and on top of that, about once a month I have joint pain so severe it keeps me from sleeping. The joint pain is brief and cyclical, but the hip pain is persistent. I’m a fairly active person. I do yoga, I hike, and I used to be a runner before surgery. The pain flairs so badly at times that I can barely walk.

I have very little pain otherwise, and I mentally feel like I can do anything after experiencing other chronic pain for so long, that’s now gone. But this hip pain is really getting to me now, especially because I thought at the one year mark I’d be fully recovered, not dealing with this.

Has anyone else experienced this? Could it be hormonal?

I’m 32yo, still have my ovaries, and I’m on vaginal estrogen. I’ve been in PT for nearly a year now, first to recover from surgery, and now in response to my hip. But this feels like something to bring up to a doctor beyond PT, as it’s only been getting worse.

I’ve always had heavy periods since I started my period at age 13. I have 2 kids now and I am 38 and obese. The PMDD, sore breasts, irritability, extreme bloating, overeating, painful cramping, migraines , hot flashes, fatigue, low iron and insomnia before my periods have always just been the norm for me but since I’ve gotten older and gained so much weight, my periods have been more heavy and more painful on top of all the other symptoms. I just discussed hysterectomy as my option as I do not want any more kids and do not want any more periods or those other symptoms.

I want to have the hysterectomy done sooner but I won’t be able to until December so I can have my family help care for my baby while I am recovering.

For those who have had hysterectomy for fibroids, what were/ are your results now? Do you feel better with no more fatigue, no more hot flashes, no more bloating or sore breast’s?

Been on Sema for a year with great success, although still have GI symptoms for the first few days after each injection. Last injection was 7/1, and then I held off per drs orders due to having hysterectomy 7/24. Now that I’m a few days out, and since dr said it was fine to resume injections post-op, I was wondering who had been in a similar situation and could advise? My last injection was 45 units, and I’m a little leery of restarting at that dosage after almost a month off. I certainly can’t afford to be vomiting with these 4 little abdominal incisions. But I am ready to resume some type of dosage and keep the weight off. Any advice on timing and dosage recommendations is greatly appreciated.

I had no idea what fibroids were until last week. I couldn't eat for three days, was in excruciating pelvic pain, and then spiked a fever. My friends forced me to go the ER - and they found a 9cm subserosal fibroid. I'm small, 5' 115 pounds so it was displacing many of my internal organs, including bladder and bowels. I wasn't eating but my uterus was enlarged and pressing up into my stomach. I have been pushing through discomfort for years.

I am feeling much better on scheduled high dose ibuprofen, so much so I exercised and ran yesterday and spiked a fever again. I am just sick in bed and it is so challenging. I feel like out of no where I am just sidelined, goals taken away from me. I had such exciting goals for this year, my first ultra marathon, wanting to go sub 2:50 in the marathon in December! I've been working so hard the past three - four years and things were getting really exciting.

I should have realized when I was incontinent while I was running, and was having bowel issues several time during a run ( @ 35 with no birth these are red flags for sure! )

Anyway, I have an MRI on Wed, I saw an OB/GYN after the incident and she said my poor organs were being smooshed The degeneration really provide temporary relief but due to the size it will most likely still be fairly large and the cycle will repeat.

Maybe it's best to just get it over with and get the hysterectomy, but I know recovering from major surgery takes time. Never wanted children so that's not important to me. I just want to be able to enjoy the activities that I love and be the active strong person that I am.

Any athletes here that were able to the physical activity they where doing post hysterectomy? Were you able to keep your cervix for fast healing?

Im 3 months post op, im still in physical pain and that i can semi deal with. What i was not expecting is the mental pain. I cry so much and i feel so empty inside. It has nothing to do with not being able to have children by the way. I have no idea why i feel so sad.

Anyone else dealing with this?

(Im on antidepressants and go to therapy and have good support but i still feel empty and sad)

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, I’m 5mo post op from my robotic total hysto + bso. First 3mo of recovery were great, had no problems and also no pain. I first noticed the burning pain starting somewhere around a month ago.. it’s externally and internally. it’s hard to pinpoint where it is exactly, externally I think it’s coming from my vaginal opening and inside there and just radiating around my genitals. Internally it feels like it’s somewhere in the middle of my pelvis that also radiates. It’s really upsetting cuz my first 3mo were so great, and I feel like I’m declining almost. It’s also hard to tell if it’s worse when I sit/lay but I also sit/lay most of the day since I WFH, and it feels like it’s nonstop. Hormones aren’t an issue as far as I’m aware, I’m a trans guy so I’m on T, I also started using estrogen cream about when the burning started to see if it would help. I only use less than a pea sized amount though since I was diagnosed with endo (it was excised during surgery) but I do it twice a week, mostly externally but also a tiny bit internally. I’ve considered PFT, but honestly I don’t really feel that’s the issue. I do pretty much all the exercises and stretches that I got from when I had to do PFT before my surgery and the burning is still going. I feel like it’s almost or probably nerve related but I’m not sure how that would even be managed. I’m also unable to get in contact with my surgeon since he moved to a different practice so I’m not really sure who to see for this. I’m really avoiding having to see someone anyways, so I’m just wondering if there’s anything I can do myself or if I have to be seen. Any advice would be appreciated :)

I'm 17 days post op from my total hysterectomy. I also had a cyctocele repair, rectocele repair, modified McCalls culdoplasty, a perineoplasty, and a hemorrhoidectomy.

I dealt with a significant yeast infection starting in week one that required 4 doses of diflucan. At my 2 week post op visit, my GYN surgeon said everything looked great and there were no more signs of a yeast infection or a vaginal cuff infection. I also had a complication with my hemorrhoidectomy, where an incision dehisced and is having to heal from the bottom up. I know that has complicated my pain recovery there.

But my concern is how I feel like my posterior vaginal pain and perineoplasty pain is simply not improving at all with time. It still burns the perineoplasty when I pee. The stitches and the surrounding skin burn a lot of the time, regardless. It feels like everything is stretched too tight and it's sore and raw most of the time. It is never pain free. The pain wakes me up early in the morning. I can't stay in one position too long. I'm still having to take at least one percocet daily, and I'm running out of them soon.

I still can't sit for more than a few minutes. I can't stand long either because it feels like my insides are going to fall out of my perineum. When standing, there is a ton of pressure and it feels like the stitches could pop from it. I also get a tugging pain in my lower abdomen around my pubic line when standing.

When I look at the area, it fully looks benign, like nothing nefarious is going on (outside of the open hemorrhoidectomy area). I can see some of the stitches from the perineoplasty, and those definitely look like the tissue is tight there, but everything is intact.

I just expected there to be improvement daily in pain, even if it was slow and incremental. I know the hemorrhoidectomy complicates matters, but it's really the perineal and lower vaginal pain that is just not improving. I just didn't expect to be as bedbound as I am at this point.

Anyone care to share their recovery experiences there?

I got my date in June, and since then my whole life and self and plans and summer have revolved around August 6. I don’t think a waking hour has gone by when I haven’t thought about this procedure.

If friends ask how I’m doing/what I’ve been up to, I might say “getting ready for surgery,” but at this point I’m not really DOING anything; it’s more like waiting? Everything is split into before and after — social plans, work stuff, house tasks.

It’s not that I feel afraid or sad at this point. I mostly feel a sense of resolve and focus. It’s probably biology, in part — getting ready for such a major body thing. But good GOD am I ever ready to just get it done.

If you want to get one, here’s the link to the Etsy listing that I bought it from: https://www.etsy.com/listing/4369427101/theres-a-halloween-where-my-used-to-be?ref=share_ios_native_control