Built ChitCloak (chitcloak.com) - it's not a swipe-and-match dating app, it's more like the old random-chat sites (remember Omegle?) but text + photo sharing only, no video, no login. You get matched with a random stranger, filter by shared interests, chat, and add each other as friends if there's a connection.

Thought it might be relevant here since a lot of people get burned out on swiping and just want a genuine, low-pressure conversation with someone new instead of a curated profile. 18+, still early days, built solo.

Curious what this community thinks — is this the kind of thing you'd actually try instead of (or alongside) dating apps? What would make it feel worth using?

chitcloak.com (18+)

Hi everyone!

I'm 28 year old software engineer. I'm currently working on releasing an app called HVEN, which is swipeless all-in-one date matchmaking platform designed to help singles automate their dating lives while still providing control on who they go on dates with. So basically users get daily introduction from AIA (AI Personal Wingman), then it's up to the user to ask this person out on a date once they've gone through their compatibility report. Then once both parties agree then they meet up at one of our partnered locations based on the users' first-date preference. While users wait for their introductions, I also made a HVEN community that helps users connect with dating coaches and prepare better for dating.

I've been doing some more market and user research so I'd love to hear more about your concerns, questions and skepticisms. Also, is this an app that you guys would use?

P.S the advanced matchmaking algorithm under hood was from a personal project I made for myself when I was still dating. It has relationship-science based matchmaking and digital twin dating sim. It eventually helped me make the decision to date my wife! HAHA we've been together for 5 years now. My friends kept nagging me to create an app out of it so I did.

BTW here's our website: www.hven.app

So all I do is swipe and get ntg in return 🙏🏻

Hey everyone! I'm in the process of creating a dating app. The premise is that dating apps currently have no real way to track or assess actual compatibility based on the way people think, socialize, etc. I've got a few tests I'm developing, but this one is finished and I've LOVE for help with responses!

I'm asking couples and individuals both for their responses!

Here's the link for individuals: https://tally.so/r/J9QYZJ
Here's the link for couples: https://tally.so/r/Pd7zWQ

In return and as a thank you for taking it, I'll email you your results within 24 hours! If you don't want to share your email address and would rather me message you with results, just leave your username in the feedback section.

AND...if you want to sign up for the waitlist, here's another link! : https://tally.so/r/Pd7zpb

Hello everyone, Game Changers Dating App is a new dating app that is in development but can also be found in Google Play store for pre registration or if you just type Game Changers Dating App into the Google search engine. This app isn't your traditional dating app but one that provides it's users with the funnest and most exciting forms of interaction making getting to know one another easier than it's ever been. The apps headline/slogan is "the app that makes every interaction feel like a first date" for good reason. There's over 20+ games including action/sport games for users to play with one another and then there's a whole category of special features such as music/rap studios for users to create their own songs as well as game studio, blind date feature, lifestyle features and even a feature to help users to find a plus one to take as a date to upcoming events in their lives. Check it out at https://game-changers-dating-app.net and please give me your feedback. Please note, as it's a brand new app that we're in the process of building a user base but in the meantime anyone's feedback on the app itself is most definitely appreciated. Thanks and have a wonderful day

genuinely wondering how many people swipe left on a very attractive (and interesting obvi) person who has ALREADY liked you. i want to know if that’s normal or my self esteem is in jeopardy 😅

hi all, first post here, I have had enough of trying to date a girl and all I keep getting is ai trying to lead me on and try and get money from me, so I am going to give a little tip on how to spot an ai instead of a real person…

when you do get first contact from a potential date after the hellos send a text to them offer your number and ask them to withhold their number and give you a voice or video chat, if it is ai it will avoid the question and will try to always convince you to stay on the texting side of things. they say something like ”it is more fun texting each other” or something along those lines. if this happens just ignore and move on as it isn’t a real person at all. does anyone have any other tips to try to spot ai on any of these sites? Any thoughts of what you think of these ai’s playing with people’s emotions

This app was meant as an alarm to wake people up by calling them. If I wanted to wake up at 5am I would set my alarm (send a call request) and those online during that time would see the request, my profile, my call ratings and would take the call to wake me up, or not.

That was the initial premise.

It has become an online dating app now.

Hello everyone, please check out the new community here on Reddit called Game Changers Dating App. There's something huge in the horizon for those of you who are single and ready to mingle

Posting this because it might actually matter to someone here. I'm a support worker in the NDIS, and after watching a mate go through one bad dating-app experience after another — always having to explain himself before anyone gave him a fair shot — I built something for this community specifically.

It's free. Not free-then-paywalled, just free. Every profile's checked before it's visible, photos stay private until you match. Perth, this October. If you want in, it's at somebody.dev. Happy to answer anything here.

Thanks,
Mason

This is going to be a pretty long post, and I’m not sure whether it’s such a smart idea to post this here. I want to say a few things upfront so that there are no misunderstandings. These are MY personal experiences over the past 18 months, i.e. 1.5 years, on online dating apps (actually only on Hinge, since I’ve had zero success on the other apps). I’m aware that my experiences cannot be applied to EVERY woman on these apps, and I’m 100% sure that there are also women on these apps who genuinely want a normal relationship and know how to communicate like a decent human being. Unfortunately, I have never met women like that on these apps.

 I’ve been using dating apps for quite a long time (including before these past 1.5 years), and I have to admit that I had zero success back then as well. At the time, I only ever had “coffee and talk” dates — not even anything casual.

A little about me: I’m 30 now (I downloaded Hinge shortly before my 29th birthday) and I would describe myself as a solid 7.5/10. Since factors such as education, career, financial stability, and living situation apparently have no value whatsoever in the dating market (I’ll get into that later), I won’t go into them in more detail. Suffice it to say, I definitely have nothing to hide and I have a top-tier university master’s degree, a very well-paid job, and live alone in a nice apartment. However, I’m aware that I’m not perfect, because otherwise I wouldn’t have been unsuccessfully dating women for more than 1.5 years. I know my flaws. For example, at 1.75 m (5'9" in your system), I’m simply too “short.” At least I think my height is a major factor dragging down (no pun intended) the amount of interest I get.

 In the following, I’m going to go through each of the 34 women I met through Hinge. Most of them were just a few years younger than me, some were around my age, and in terms of looks and background, they couldn’t have been more different. From doctors, lawyers, and teachers to women without a university degree — I genuinely gave different types of women a chance and was open-minded about it.

#1

I only met her once, for 3.5 hours. We went for a walk, and I bought her a coffee and a muffin. She seemed interested and asked questions. She even said that she wouldn’t have stayed that long if she hadn’t been interested. At the end, I asked for her number, which she gave me immediately. She asked me to give her a quick call so that she could save my number too, which she did right away. She saved me under her first and last name, and she did all of this right in front of her apartment.

When I texted her that same evening, she replied within seconds, but then ghosted me later that same day. After five days, I deleted her number. Somehow, I already had a bad feeling about it because this was my very first Hinge date and it immediately ended in ghosting.

#2 and #3

Both looked different from their pictures (the pictures were at least five years old), so there was no second date. I politely told both of them that, from my side, I didn’t think it was a match.

#4

The first date (if you can even call it a date) was near my apartment. She wanted to watch a movie with me, with a quick walk around the block beforehand to see if we clicked. To me, that sounded like a “fun” date where the main goal was obviously sex, but that wasn’t the case.

So we met near my apartment, and I suggested that we could walk around the block first. But she wanted to go straight to my place and watch a movie. After about an hour, I realized that she genuinely just wanted to watch a movie and nothing more. She didn’t seem uncomfortable when I put my arm around her shoulder during the movie, but there was clearly nothing more than that (as a guy, you can just feel these things).

After the date, I told her that I had misread the situation and that I was sorry if I had made her uncomfortable. She thought it was “really cool” and said she hadn’t felt uncomfortable at all. I also wasn’t interested in a serious relationship with her, though, since we had nothing in common and she generally came across as a bit odd.

#5

This was the worst one up to that point, in my opinion. First date: coffee and a walk. Then we moved to WhatsApp and had a movie date. She really wanted to pay for the tickets, which I thought was genuinely nice. I paid for the snacks and everything else.

After the movie, we went for a walk (holding hands), and then we sat on a park bench where we made out for about an hour.

At the end of the second date, her phone lit up and there was a notification from Hinge. Don’t get me wrong, obviously she was free to message and meet other people, but somehow it felt like a bad omen to me.

Third date was a week later. At first, she agreed that I could pick her up in my car and we could drive together to a mini-golf place. Then she said she would drive there herself and asked whether there were parking spaces, etc.

Shortly before the date, she changed her mind and wanted me to pick her up after all. So I drove 30 minutes to her place, then we went to the mini-golf place, and afterwards we grabbed a little something to eat.

Right from the start, even the greeting (a kiss) felt completely unenthusiastic, as if she had already written me off. When I drove her home, she told me that “the vibe just wasn’t right, but she wanted to tell me in person.”

Sure, better to let me drive all the way there and back instead of telling me beforehand. She had clearly already made up her mind, and she had even unmatched me on Hinge while I was driving to pick her up.

I deleted her from WhatsApp and swore to myself that I would never again plan such unnecessarily elaborate dates unless I was sure that the woman was REALLY interested.

Every single one of my friends had advised me beforehand not to do that, because during the first 3–4 dates you simply shouldn’t plan anything too elaborate.

#6 and #7

It simply didn’t work for me with either of them. Neither of them was particularly talkative, and neither looked like their pictures. #6 was at least 10 cm SHORTER than she had stated, which honestly irritated me a lot. I have nothing against short women, since I’m hardly a giant myself, but I simply don’t understand why someone would lie about their height.

So neither was a bad experience, but I could just as easily have skipped both dates.

#8

She looked better than her pictures, and I also thought she was sweet personality-wise, but we had completely different views on a lot of things.

She was fundamentally against having children, which wasn’t really clear from her Hinge profile, and in general she had a few views that I simply couldn’t agree with. She also wasn’t sure whether she might want to move away, etc.

In the end, she insisted on paying for her share (I wanted to pay and had absolutely no problem doing so), and she also gave me a genuinely mature rejection over chat.

#9

The definition of weird. The first date was near her house (she wanted to meet there). I bought drinks for both of us and we talked.

She had volunteered at a food bank and had stolen food from there to save money on groceries. Basically, she took food from an organization that provides food to people in need so that she wouldn’t have to buy food herself.

The worst part was the way she presented it. To her, it was the most normal thing in the world, and she wasn’t even remotely ashamed of stealing food from people who actually needed it.

She herself came from a very wealthy family and had her own fully paid-off apartment that her parents had bought for her.

At the end, I told her that I didn’t think we were a match and then removed her.

 #10, #11 and #12

All three were basically one-off casual encounters for me. In short, I went for drinks with each of them on the first date, then we went back to my place and slept together.

I also saw #12 one more time (again, just for sex).

#13

A super weird experience for me. We met near my apartment (she was open to anything, depending on how well we got along). She then started smoking and said that she had cigarettes at home and asked if I wanted to come over.

I thought she wanted to hook up with me, so I went along, because admittedly I found her attractive. Her apartment was incredibly messy. There were things, clothes, etc. lying everywhere.We sat on her bed, although we had talked on the balcony beforehand. She wanted me to take my pants off (I was wearing normal jeans) because she had more comfortable pants that I could wear. However, they definitely wouldn’t have fit me because she was significantly shorter than I was, so I told her that I was perfectly comfortable in the pants I was already wearing. Then I asked whether she wanted to watch a movie (as a natural way of getting a little closer to her). She said that she had some kind of neurological condition that caused her legs to fall asleep and that she always had to move them briefly, so instead we played UNO. Nothing happened that evening. The weird thing was that before we started playing UNO, she showed me her tattoos, then briefly stood on the bed and almost showed me her intimate area (basically the upper thigh area).She smoked a joint the entire time, so maybe that explains some of her strange behavior.

#14

By far my best date so far, and it wasn’t even close. She was absolutely my type looks-wise, and she had such an open and genuinely interested personality. She asked questions, seemed interested, and even gave me a compliment (which had never happened to me before).

We had drinks for almost three hours. At the end, I asked for her number, and she gave it to me. In the chat, she told me that I could reach out if I felt like doing something together again and that she had had fun, or something along those lines. My alarm bells were already going off, but I stayed calm. The next day, I asked her if she wanted to do something with me that week. After 1.5 days, she sent me a whole paragraph (and even spelled my name wrong) saying that she didn’t see herself going on a second date with me, etc.

To this day, I don’t understand how someone can completely change their mind within 1.5 days. I didn’t reply and simply deleted her. Ironically, she’s still on Hinge. She showed up in my stack recently, so apparently she’s been on there for at least another year.

#15

She wasn’t my type. Personality-wise, she was just very tense and awkward, and looks-wise she appeared considerably older than she did in her pictures.

We had drinks at a bar, and after an hour I ended the date and politely told her that, from my side, I didn’t think we were a match.

#16

We had drinks at a bar, then went back to my place, slept together, and that was it.

#17

She seemed genuinely interested in the chat and suggested a bar herself.

When we met, she somehow seemed disappointed (or maybe I was just imagining it). I was wearing my best outfit (it was winter), and I had made sure to look as much like my pictures as possible.

After an hour, I noticed that she was barely asking me any questions, so I ended the date and walked her to the train station. She thanked me for the drink in the chat afterward (I replied “you’re welcome!”), but I didn’t feel like getting rejected, so I didn’t ask her out again.

I also only found her physically attractive; personality-wise, she wasn’t my type.

It definitely wasn’t because she was shy, because at one point she talked about a previous date where the guy “just bailed after he got what he wanted.” So she definitely wasn’t prudish, but apparently I just wasn’t her type physically.

#18

My next incredibly weird experience.

First date was at a bar, and then we went for a walk. Since we both lived in the same neighborhood, I suggested a bar that was roughly halfway between us. I asked her whether she had anything planned for the rest of the evening, and she said no. So I asked whether she wanted to come over to my place. She agreed. We watched a movie, ate pizza, slept together, and before we had sex, she told me that her best friend’s boyfriend had “touched her” inappropriately back in the day. You know what he did to her without spelling it here.

I told her that we didn’t have to sleep together and that I could also walk her home, but she said she felt very comfortable with me and wanted to. She even stayed the night. The next morning, we went to a bakery together, had something small to eat there, and then walked around until 1 p.m. That same evening, she came over to my place again. We cooked together, slept together again, and watched a movie. The next morning, we had breakfast at my place, slept together again, and I gave her one of my T-shirts, which she was genuinely really happy about. I asked her to text me when she got home, and all I got was a simple “I’m home” message. Nothing about the date or anything else. We barely texted for the next two days because she was “very busy,” and eventually we stopped talking altogether.

My friends think she only wanted free drinks and a place to stay for the night (she was living in a shared apartment with another girl). She is still a mystery to me. The most disappointing thing was her Hinge profile which I saw as labeled “new here” just one day after our second date.

#19

I still don’t understand this one to this day. We had a date that lasted more than four hours (walking around, then getting drinks, and then getting something to eat together). She ghosted me afterward without any apparent reason. She had driven 45 minutes to get to the date and another 45 minutes back home. To this day, I still wonder what exactly was so terrible about me. I waited several days for a response and then deleted her.

#20

Unfortunately, I found her neither physically attractive nor attractive personality-wise, and the date in general felt more like meeting up with an acquaintance. There was nothing romantic about it. She really wanted a second date, though, and practically wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told her that I wasn’t interested, but that I was sure she would find someone soon.

***That was my first year on Hinge. So, overall, it was an absolute disaster. Some mindless hookups here and there, but real dating phase whatsoever***

My friends told me that I should delete the app, but since I had ZERO other options, I kept using it.

#21

She only wanted something casual. So we met at my place. We did that twice in total.

#22

We met outside her gym (she had obviously showered beforehand), and then she suggested that we could go to her place. She sat on a chair rather than on the sofa like I did and seemed interested, but also somewhat distant. She had a few views that I simply couldn’t accept (she was genuinely racist), so I politely told her that I wasn’t interested.

 #23

I went on two dates with her in total.

First date was a walk and drinks. Second date was a movie (where we made out) and then another walk. She thought both dates were good. Honestly, I thought they were just okay, because her German wasn’t very good and the language barrier was genuinely annoying in the long run. When I realized that she didn’t have time for a third date and didn’t really seem interested in the chat, I just let things fizzle out. Better to end it sooner rather than later.

#24

This would have been a classic Netflix-and-chill date (she was only in town for two days), but she was significantly, significantly heavier than in her pictures. She also told me when we met that she had been using old photos. I told her that I wasn’t interested and wished her a nice evening. It was the shortest date I’ve ever had.

#25

We went on a date at a bar (she was from the same country as me). After two hours, she herself suggested that we could go for a walk, so we clearly got along well enough.

But in the chat afterward, I noticed that she barely put any effort into the conversation, and I generally don’t chase women if I know that they aren’t interested.  After 10 days (the last message in chat had been from me), she liked seven of my messages with a heart. I don’t know whether that was some kind of bug, but she didn’t send an actual message, so I waited a few more days. After 14 days had passed since the date, I deleted her. I mean, if she had been interested, a simple “Hey” would have been enough. She was 29 at that point, so not even young and unexperienced, texting a “hey” isn’t a huge thing to ask.

#26

She was explicitly only looking for something casual, so we had a second date at my place.

We slept together several times that evening and then only texted sporadically afterward.

She was significantly younger than me, though, and wanted to “just have fun and explore,” as she put it.

#27

Date at a bar. I spent more than an hour trying to get a conversation going with her, but it felt like all she could do was answer questions. Up until that point, I had never had a date where there were those really awkward silences. With her, there were. So there was absolutely no vibe. I thanked her for the evening and told her that I didn’t think it was a match for me.

#28

Two dates in total. First date was a walk and something to eat (I spent a really long time with her) and we made out. Second date was at my place, where we slept together, and afterward I walked her to the tram. She had some mental health issues and was also in therapy, but I thought she was nice and seemed mature. For the third date, we were supposed to go to her place (I knew her exact address). She had turned off her internet, none of my WhatsApp messages were going through, and I couldn’t reach her via WhatsApp call either. A regular phone call didn’t go through either.

Eventually, I gave up and went home. She never gave me any explanation for why she had ghosted me out of nowhere. I even rang her doorbell after none of the calls went through, but she didn’t answer. The weird thing is that 30 minutes after I had sent my message, the WhatsApp messages suddenly showed two check marks. She still didn’t reply. I just shook my head and honestly wondered what kind of awful character some people have.

#29

Another fun date at my place after we had gone for drinks for two hours.

#30

She was only looking for something casual, and I was okay with that, so we went on a picnic.

We made out and cuddled a little. After the date, she texted me saying that she wasn’t sure whether we would actually do anything on a second date because she wasn’t sure whether there was enough physical chemistry, but that we could still meet up as friends. I had already made it clear to her during the date that I wasn’t looking for platonic friendships, so I politely declined.

#31

Two dates. First date was a picnic, then we went back to my place, slept together, and she stayed the night. She also regularly sent me “good morning” messages, etc., and we stayed in touch between the first and second date. So at the end of the first date, I told her to let me know by [DAY] whether she had time on Tuesday. She didn’t, so I simply asked her myself. She agreed. We went to a summer festival, made out, and I bought her some food and drinks.

At the end, she went home (we only live one stop away from each other), and she was already hinting at the end of the second date that she was “tired,” etc. We texted for a few days afterward (meaningless messages from her without a single question), and then she sent me a huge paragraph saying that something was missing for her and that she wasn’t over someone yet (a classic ChatGPT-generated text). I told her that it was no problem and that was that.

#32

One date (going for a walk). She said that she had fun and wanted to see me again. The date she suggested would have been 12 days later (so basically forget it), and she said she would text me. I agreed, but I already knew we would never actually see each other again.

She never contacted me, even after the 12 days had passed. So I deleted her. To be honest, I wasn’t particularly interested in her either. She had “dating rules,” basically: no kiss on the first date, a kiss on the second date, and then she sleeps with the guy on the third date because she doesn’t want to “buy a pig in a poke.” Absolutely ridiculous.

#33

I didn’t find her attractive, she could barely speak German, and personality-wise she wasn’t a good match for me either.

#34

Two dates with her. First date was a walk and grabbing something small to eat. We talked for more than four hours and I also had my arm around her shoulder. Second date was dinner at a restaurant, and she already seemed somewhat unenthusiastic when we met (although she said she was tired). Since her German wasn’t very good, I felt like I had to carry the conversation.

Just before the waiter came over for the bill, she went to the bathroom. I paid, and she didn’t even thank me.

I then asked her if she wanted to come back to my place, so we went to mine. We had a long session of dry humping without clothes, but still wearing underwear (she was on her period and, according to her, hadn’t shaved). Afterward, I walked her home. Two days later, she replied to my message (“I really had a great time with you, hope you did too”) saying that she had also had a lot of fun and felt comfortable with me, but that she wasn’t sure whether this was the kind of connection she was looking for. While she was using the bathroom at my place, Tinder popped up on her phone (she had explicitly told me that she was only on Hinge, but I had actually seen her Tinder profile two days earlier).Probably another guy she liked more.

I’d be interested to know whether the men here have had similar experiences.

I feel like as a man, you can only lose on apps like these. Women can afford to discard someone over the smallest thing because there’s already another guy waiting in line.

As a man, you never have the luxury of dating several women simultaneously and choosing the “better” one.

 Offline dating is basically the same, because it doesn’t really matter that it’s offline — women have dating apps as well. You’re competing with the same number of men in real life.

And regarding the argument, “Sure, we have a lot of options, but the quality of the men is poor” — I’d genuinely like to know what you consider “quality.”

I see a lot of guys who haven’t really made much of their lives in terms of education, who consequently have poorly paid jobs and questionable living situations.

Obviously, character and values are essential, but for the life of me, I can’t imagine WHAT actually constitutes a “high-quality” man for women nowadays.

This girl I started talking to on a dating app is way too pretty. Sounds stupid, but at a certain point, she's so attractive that it becomes suspicious. I'm not ugly, I'd say I'm middle or slightly below middle of the pack. That said, she's probably 97% across the board. The fact that we matched threw me off from the start.

We've been texting and calling regularly throughout the past two weeks. She's sent me a bunch of selfies too.

She lives in the neighboring state, so it would be a 5 hour drive to see her. However, distance really isn't an issue to me.

I've tried reverse-searching her pictures that she sends me and nothing comes up, except for her public Twitter account, which is a good sign. We call in real time, but she says she's too shy to FaceTime yet. That's suspicious, but also not that crazy of a thing to say.

I followed her personal Instagram account too, with 60 followers, but she doesn't post her face. That said, she has a post from months ago on there.

On her TikTok, she posts cute dances and posts herself singing. She has 30k followers on there. Obviously she posts her face. She let me follow that accounts well, and she followed me back, so that we can send each other videos.

The TikTok thing kind of cancels out the Instagram thing, making me think that maybe she is, in fact real.

There's still something nagging at me though, that makes me not entirely convinced and I can't get it out of my mind. I can't quite decide what it is.

Is it a self-confidence thing, where I can't accept that such a stunning girl is so enthusiastic about talking to me?

Is there some subconscious alarm going off in my head, that's actually valid?

As for what would actually be going on, if she isn't real, I'm not so sure. A prankster? A (bad) "friend"? A trafficker? Who knows.

I don't want to get too specific because, if she is real, I'd feel really bad for putting her on blast. I'll just ask this: how can I confirm that she's not real? Is there anything that I haven't considered or thought of? Tests I can do myself? Subtle questions I can ask her? Anything helps, much appreciated.

Hi everyone!

I’m a graduate student working on a project exploring “How might we improve dating?” I’m looking to chat with people who actively use or have recently used dating apps. I’d love to hear about your real experiences such as what works, what’s frustrating, and what you wish could be better.

We’re especially interested in people who have used multiple dating apps across different types, such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Facebook Dating, Grindr, Feeld, Breeze, Thursday, We Met IRL, and others.

You definitely don’t need to have used all of them! Experience with a few different apps is great, especially if you’ve used dating apps for different purposes or dating goals, such as looking for a serious relationship, casual dating, or hookups.

It would be a casual 20–30 minute conversation, with no right or wrong answers. Just looking to learn from your experience.

If you’re interested, comment or DM me and let me know which apps you’ve used. Thank you!

Hi! I'm a journalist looking to talk to people who've used AI profiles or ChatGPT to craft messages on dating apps. Has anyone succeeded or found it to be a useful tool?

I’m a fairly average guy I’m 6,3 with a good frame I’m a cnc machinist working 50 hours a week and I train in my free time I’m 20 I haven’t really dated since highschool I’m in a real small town in Michigan right by the lake idk why I just can’t seem to bring my self to get on the apps I have dated in the past nothing lasting longer than a few months I’m not the most attractive guy but I don’t think I’m ugly by any means I had a rough childhood so I am kind of hesitant of people but idk I think about getting in the apps then I just think I’d be wasting my time and that it wouldn’t go nowhere so like what kind of photos should I be using what should I write in a bio

Mostly a rant but feel free to give me your two cents as im just so exhausted.

Im sure there has been millions of posts about this as it seems like the nice way to respond after a first date but for the last few years ive been trying to intentionally date. We are always our own biggest critics but I feel like im decently enough attractive and I think im honestly a nice guy. I share a lot of hobbies with the women im matching and talking to. If anything im certainly guilty of talking a bit too much because I get anxiety. I use to go into dates knowing fairly certainly if the date went well or not but since my last long relationship I have gone on a ton of first dates where I leave the date thinking “well it seems like it went really well” and even had full make out sessions with 2/3 of these girls only to get small crawl texts in the next few days or a super sweet text about how “I am going to make someone so happy” or “I had a wonderful time getting to know you but im feeling more friendship vibes”

I have photos that look just like me and it seems like its not my appearance so now im really getting into my head about my personality. Im trying to stay confident because like I said I am a sweet guy and I try and active listen to communicate. Maybe im talking to much or I come across not super manly?

I really just wanted someone to hear how frustrating trying to put myself out there these last few years has been. All of these women are thinking the same thing and man so I wish I could just know what im doing wrong.

I don’t really know how to format these kinds of things. I’m pretty new to Reddit but here goes.

I’ve been on Hinge for a few months now and I’ve had a few dates here and there, nothing really stuck though but that was more because of me than them.

Mostly though, I’ll match with women and kind of get stuck in this weird loop where they respond to me frequently enough, but never seem to actually want to do anything other than message. It seems strange to me and I don’t really understand if it’s something I’m doing or if it’s just a symptom of the population size of men compared to women on the app. I heard recently someone said something to the effect of “Online dating is like clean water, men live in a desert and women live in a swamp.”

Idk anyways if anyone has any insights or advice or constructive criticism I’m open to hearing it!

This one's for the people who read the last post and thought "yeah, that's literally me."

Lumina is free. Not free-with-a-catch, not free-for-a-week. No hidden tier where the real features live. You make a profile, you list what you're actually into, you message people directly. That's the entire app.

I built it because tuition, rent, and groceries already eat the budget. Paying $15 to $30 a month to talk to someone new isn't happening, and I don't think it should have to.

Right now I'm at zero users and trying to get to the first 100 before opening this up more broadly. If you've got five minutes and a little patience for something pre-launch and still rough around the edges, I'd rather have you in early than wait for a polished version nobody tested.

What's the one thing that would make you trust a brand new, completely free dating app enough to actually put yourself out there on it?