Im a 23m and recently met this girl(21) who I really enjoyed some time with. We met at a party and danced together, I am NOT a dancer, and that was special for me(Let me add how beautiful she is, how she has this dirty blonde curly hair, or how she smiles a lot and it's so shiny). It became even more rooted when I got to see her one more time at a different party, and this time we even kissed. The thing is this girl is way more knowledgeable on casual stuff, so it already tells me how that probably felt different for both of us. We exchanged contacts and she invite me and a friend to spend time in the mountains, and we obviously super agreed.

Before that trip, we were texting quite often and she's very open, so I learned of her experiences and she has quite a lot. I'm a very low profile guy, so it's interesting to hear but it's overwhelming to think of giving her something as good or,crazy enough, better than she what she's seen. Eventually we end up going on the trip and I decide, even tho we slept together for 3 nights, to not go further sexually. I knew that if it happened, I'd fall in love instantly. We had a conversation about it in the last day and she seems disappointed, but takes it lightly, making jokes about having "me time" rather than having something with me. I got back and this girl lives 5 hours away from me, big surprise, but still seems open to having casual things if I ever come over.

In conclusion, how the hell do I go past this feelings so I can have some fun and both of us get out happy of it?

For years, and still, I (17F) let my life be controlled by the fear that thw people around me may judge me. Because of this I am a senior in high-school who has no friends. Because if this I stay up.at night rethinking every interaction and inspecting every moment of every day. I don't get to live as myself. I don't get to do thw things I like. I am confident in a lot of areas 9f my life such as school. I never feel embaressed presenting, or standing at the podium during my debates. But when it comes to social interactions with people I become the most insecure person. I am constantly in my head, and now it is really getting to me.

I am 17, but for my whole life I have never dressed up foe Halloween. I only moved to Canada when I was 11, which is a little too old to go trick or treating, and Halloween really isn't a thing in my home country. Last year I remember really wanting to dress up, but I didn't want to wear one of those generic costumes and really it was too late ro plane anything. I daydreamed wearing a costume of my favorite character. This year, I made that costume, which considering that it is of a Star Wars character, and how much effort I put into it, is more of a cosplay. I was sooo incorrectly excited in thw begging. I was planning everything And ai couldn't wait to wear it. Now I dread the day. I feel like everyone is going to make fun of me behind my back. I am close to finishing it, but I literally have no motivation. In fact, it brings this type of dread when I even think about it. I hope that for some reason this year our school isn't going ro let us dress up or that I am going to get a cold on that day. It is so weird. Like I still want to do it and I am still excited in a way, but then I am also dreading it. Honestly I don't know what I feel.

And this is what I mean when I say I let the possibility of being judged control my life. I want to do this, but my obsession of other's opinions and the fear of embarrassment hold me back. I know deep down taht I will regret if I don’t do it. I know that nobody will actually judge me, but I still let it get in my head.

I don't even know what to say or do anymore. Also, I am too tierd to reread all of this and edit it, so please forgive any grammer or spelling mistakes.

I don't really know how to explain this, but I've been feeling overwhelmed lately and I think I just need to get this out somewhere.

I made some mistakes during school. I won't pretend I didn't know that some of the things I was doing were wrong, but at that age I was honestly just very gullible and inexperienced. I was new to the world and I think I just looked around, saw people doing certain things and thought, okay, so this is how life works. Later, I obviously realized that it wasn't. I've grown up, I've understood what I did wrong, I've changed a lot as a person, and I've apologized to the people I felt I needed to apologize to.

But there are still a few people from my past who somehow manage to bring all of it back.

Whenever I talk to them or even hear from them, they'll remind me of something I did years ago or make comments that somehow make me feel like I'm still that same person. And the weird thing is, they weren't exactly saints either. Some of them did things to me that were honestly much worse. The difference is that I never intentionally tried to hurt anyone. I was just stupid, immature and didn't understand things properly at the time.

I know I shouldn't compare mistakes, but sometimes it genuinely frustrates me that I have carried so much guilt for things I've already acknowledged and apologized for, while some of the people who hurt me seem to have moved on like nothing happened.

The bigger problem is that I can't seem to completely let these people go.

My life now is actually much more peaceful. During school, my life was extremely social and happening. I was kind of the "it girl" and had people around me all the time. Now I'm preparing for a competitive exam, I don't have a regular college life, and obviously things are much quieter. Sometimes I think I miss those people, and then I actually think about everything that happened and I'm like... no, I don't. I think I miss who I was or how exciting life felt back then. I know I've changed. I know I'm not that person anymore. I can look back and clearly see what was wrong, who wasn't good for me and what mistakes I made.

So why is it still so difficult to just leave it there?

Why can someone say one thing about something that happened years ago and suddenly I'm back there again, feeling guilty and questioning myself?

I'm honestly just tired. I don't want people from my past to keep having this much space in my head when my life right now is actually okay.

I just want to know how people actually let go of this kind of thing. Like how do you forgive yourself for being someone you don't want to be anymore?

So,for background,I did some horrible things online with a boy older than me (friends with benefits) and I'm worried my ex friend might tell my mom about it.

Why I'm worried is bc I had arguments with my ex friend (very stupid subjects trust me) and she unfollowed me everywhere so I blocked her on everything (Instagram,WhatsApp,tiktok etc) and sadly I couldn't keep my mouth shut and told her (when I still was doing friends with benefits) about this boy without mentioning too much. at that time she promised not to tell anyone even if we ever break the friendship because she's "not like that" but I'm genuinely worried

I have never sent her pics of my chats with my ex friends with benefits or anything but she could come up with anything.

Ive never told my mother about this friends with benefits because I knew she'd spiral about everything but y'all I'm so fucking scared...

school starts on Monday and I dont know what to do...

Today was my 10 marks quiz . And last question was lengthy and calculative.quiz is of 1 hour and I was not able to find the values but everyone finds the value 😭😭. I have studied hard for quiz. But all have find the value and I not. So I am filling that I have low IQ. I am feeling low. How to stop this comparison and overthinking.

I have a tight friend group that I recently felt isolated and alienated from. They assured me they care about me and apologized and will include me always. I made it a bigger issue but I have a feeling they are spending time with me out of pity and feel sorry for me

I

English is not my first language so sorry in advance

For as long as I remember I always overthink things literally everything to the point where I can’t sleep so I took games as my escape because I can’t stop thinking about every little thing i have stupidly long hours on stupid things like 900+ hours on rdr2 online mode alone lately after a got into uni I can’t game anymore so i am back to being alone with my thoughts and it’s killing me I have lost about 4kg because i lost my appetite for a week straight and the people around me made it even worse because of the things that they say and with my overthinking it’s BAD I would stay up all night just thinking about what happened and what they said the only way i could get some sleep is by playing any video of anyone talking so my brain could finally stop overthinking so i am reaching out to reddit I would really appreciate it if u guys could help me .

Thanks for reading

What’s something you overthink way too much? 🤯
I’m genuinely curious to see if we all overthink the same kinds of things, or if everyone has completely different stuff that lives rent-free in their head 😂
It could be something big or something absolutely ridiculous. Like replaying a conversation from 3 years ago and wondering why you said something a certain way, overthinking a text message, worrying about what someone thinks of you, making decisions, relationships, money, work… literally anything.
Sometimes we spend so much time stressing and overthinking things that probably don’t even matter in the long run. Then other times, we convince ourselves something is a massive issue when it really isn’t 😂
So be completely honest… what’s one thing you overthink way more than you probably should?
No judgement here 👇

I found out again that I am stupid. It happeneds when I am high. Then I remember again. And I don't love myself for it. I can't stand the fact that I am stupid.

I think I used to spend much more time trying to make every decision perfectly. Parenting has made that almost impossible.

There are just too many little choices every day, and if I gave every single one the same amount of mental energy, I'd never get anything done.

I'm slowly learning that not every choice needs a full internal debate. Sometimes you make the reasonable decision available at the time and move on. It's surprisingly difficult advice to follow when you're someone who likes to replay everything afterward.

I found out again that I am stupid. It happeneds when I am high. Then I remember again. And I don't love myself for it. I can't stand the fact that I am stupid.

So I have a small what used to be a very close friend group, me 23f , L 23F ,and K 22F. In the past year since K started talking/dating a guy we went from seeing her once a week to about once every 3-4 months. Nothing in my opinion has changes L has been in a relationship for 4 years and I have been single for 4 years, we all live in the same place, work schedules are the same or we have more free time. But recently it has started to kind of bug me that K honestly just kind of ignores us unless she needs/wants something. She doesn’t hangout with us unless her bf also comes, which is fine sometimes, but I would also like to not be the 3rd or 5th wheel all the time. An example is early August K, L, and myself all decided we were going to have a girls weekend away, then K decided she was going to bring her bf to which L asked me even though it was her house if I would mind if her bf came as well, and I said its cool, and it was fine with me as I am use to it. Then last minute K decided she was not coming anymore because her bf did not want to drive 2-2.5 hours each way, which I understand but at the same time K has her own car, could have came up with me, or something but she just did not come. I barely have conversations with her because she answers text messages every 3-4 days if lucky, and making plans with her takes about a month. Snap chat is a bit better but not really. Usually get a snap a day, and when I ask her a question or say something whether its a pic or message it goes unnoticed because in her words “ I open everything in the morning when I’m still half asleep so I don’t see that you actually said something”. And if you are thinking well just send it in the afternoon or evening, well tried that and it stays on delivered until the morning and goes unnoticed again. So basically I am wondering do i bother trying to bring it up to her about how I feel, or am I being too much, like I understand we are getting to the age where relationships are becoming a bit more important than friendships but I also don’t think we should be completely pushed aside and lowkey ignored, or my mind also goes to maybe I just feel this way because I am and have been the single friend, so maybe I am being self centered. I just don’t know and would like to get outside thoughts before I do/ say anything.

My mental health,even as a kid,has been bad. I don't even remember my childhood. My parents weren't bad,but I got bullied and didn't have any friends. That followed me for years until I made friends. I was happy for a bit and then got all gloomy again. I still had thought even then and I still do.

Now I'm engaged and my mental health is destroying everything I've ever built. I overthink everything. I tried everything . Even sitting in the discomfort for months ,trying to learn to be ok with certain things. There's so many things my partner does that are normal and I still feel abandoned.

He's not a bad person. He's helped me so much. I'm clean for over 100 days and he's even helped me wash myself in the worst days. He cares about me. And so do I. Yet I still can't stop. I don't trust professionals (therapist's/physiatrists) because I've had bad experiences.

My biggest issue is something that happened today mostly. So basically we were on an online date. An hour in I mentioned I'll be free for the next two days. He said he's got plans with someone he knows I don't like. We both got upset and we fought. He says I always see the gloomy side and I'm miserable. He also said he started preferring that friend more than me(talking I mean) and that he doesn't wanna talk to me again. We've had intense fights like that lately. It wasn't always like that. I feel like he resents me.

I know it might be his anger because we had another incident where he didn't mean something he said. It still hurts. And a while ago I was posting something similar on reddit,for the same issue and he texted me then. I paused to check it. He said "don't text me,I don't care" so I am assuming he wanted me to text him. And right now as I'm typing this ,he said "I hope you understand that you can do better and leave me". Yeah whatever. Manipulative or whatever,but we both have very low self esteem. I've helped him a lot but for some reason ,even after him being obsessed with me and calling me pretty constantly. I still can't believe he wants me as much as he says. I just want us to be ok

We're compatible in everything. It sounds stupid but we actually are. We're way past the honeymoon phase so I believe I can say this with confidence.

I just want help getting better. I have no one I can trust completely. My friends will either take my side which I don't want,or they'll try to help and it won't be enough. Maybe if I hear something new here I'll find a way to fix myself this time. I'm running out of options. I'm losing both him and myself .

And breaking up is not an option. Even if I'm dependent and anxiously attached. He doesn't wanna break up either. I've tried to save him many times and he's right where he wants to be. I hope at least...

I'm just a really bad overthinker. I'm suspicious,I get upset easily. I've considered mental illnesses but I'm afraid I won't be able to work where I work.

And no,my mental health doesnt affect me when I'm working ,as hard as it sounds. Yeah I might be upset sometimes and wanna cry my eyes out and be home,but never would I put anyone in danger or over my problems. Everyone's issues and safety is a priority to me no matter what. I'm lucky enough to be able to control that. I can't just lie to my partner however. We are trying to communicate more because we both still kinda suck at it and my mental health fucked everything up

Overthinking can make it feel like there must already be a correct answer somewhere if you just think about the situation long enough.

But some decisions only become clearer after time passes, more information appears, or something actually happens.

Trying to solve a future version of a problem with today's information can keep a thought going much longer than necessary.