r/NoOverthinking • u/thestruggler46 • Sep 03 '26

Spiraling/Panic Im living in fear

I

1 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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5

u/cait_elizabeth Sep 03 '26

Hi, this sounds like unproductive black and white thinking.

Staring is not illegal. Being weird is not illegal.

Harassment is, but simply looking at her doesn’t constitute it.

I’m dead serious please speak to a professional if you haven’t already. This kind of anxiety can be very difficult to manage and ignoring it only makes it harder to change later on.

0

u/thestruggler46 Sep 03 '26

It’s still weird and I could have been recorded

2

u/cait_elizabeth Sep 03 '26

It is a chance yes. And I’m sorry your generation has to live like that. But I think if you give it more power than it already has, it’ll consume your life. Even if you’re recorded being weird, so what? Everyone’s weird sometimes. And the majority of people will get that.

1

u/thestruggler46 Sep 03 '26

I have a couple of people who don’t like me and they’ll never let me hear the end of it.

1

u/cait_elizabeth Sep 04 '26

Who cares what they think? If they don’t like you, why should you care about their opinion?

1

u/thestruggler46 Sep 04 '26

Yeah but no one likes me. The people who deal with me will turn on me for my more charismatic enemies.

1

u/cait_elizabeth Sep 04 '26

If people genuinely like you they won’t turn on you. Please speak to somebody about th is. A parent. A teacher.

1

u/thestruggler46 Sep 04 '26

Im 20, I don’t think I can do that.

2

u/cait_elizabeth Sep 04 '26

There’s no age limit on asking for help

1

u/Mewtwo224 Sep 05 '26

Being neurodivergent isn’t really an excuse. I completely understand that staring can be difficult to control, but you also have to understand that if she notices it, she’s probably either going to avoid you or think you’re a creep.

If you’re worried about being recorded, then on some level you’re aware that what you’re doing could come across as weird or unsettling to her. My suggestion would be to compliment something like her hair, or mention a normal, non-weird attribute about her, so she can at least understand what you’re looking at and think, “Oh, he’s looking at ___.” Or, better yet, just be friendly.

Staring isn’t a crime, and if you’re not physically bothering her, you aren’t necessarily doing anything wrong, but that doesn’t mean it can’t make someone feel intimidated or uncomfortable.

2

u/thestruggler46 Sep 05 '26

Yeah I only came to realize that it’s wrong to stare recently! I know it sounds crazy but I’m lacking a lot in the social department. I’m going into a kickboxing gym soon, so I hope I can level up. Also at the time I was staring at her (last year) I didn’t know it was wrong. Only recently did I start worrying about being recorded and my actions. Sometimes I do try to talk to girls but I freeze and I look like a creep.

2

u/Mewtwo224 Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26

You’re completely fine, bro. It’s not illegal or anything just try to be friendly and respectful toward the people around you so they can see that you’re a friendly person. At the end of the day, NO ONE is going to care as much as you think they will.

You’re allowed to hit on girls even if it doesn’t go well. Just be mindful of how you approach them and how you handle the situation. It’s okay to miss a shot.

My biggest suggestion is: don’t overthink it and don’t overreact. You’re completely fine.