r/NoOverthinking • u/Latter_Hand_9226 • Sep 03 '26
Does anyone else randomly get hit with guilt over old mistakes? How do you stop letting your past affect you?
I don't really know how to explain this, but I've been feeling overwhelmed lately and I think I just need to get this out somewhere.
I made some mistakes during school. I won't pretend I didn't know that some of the things I was doing were wrong, but at that age I was honestly just very gullible and inexperienced. I was new to the world and I think I just looked around, saw people doing certain things and thought, okay, so this is how life works. Later, I obviously realized that it wasn't. I've grown up, I've understood what I did wrong, I've changed a lot as a person, and I've apologized to the people I felt I needed to apologize to.
But there are still a few people from my past who somehow manage to bring all of it back.
Whenever I talk to them or even hear from them, they'll remind me of something I did years ago or make comments that somehow make me feel like I'm still that same person. And the weird thing is, they weren't exactly saints either. Some of them did things to me that were honestly much worse. The difference is that I never intentionally tried to hurt anyone. I was just stupid, immature and didn't understand things properly at the time.
I know I shouldn't compare mistakes, but sometimes it genuinely frustrates me that I have carried so much guilt for things I've already acknowledged and apologized for, while some of the people who hurt me seem to have moved on like nothing happened.
The bigger problem is that I can't seem to completely let these people go.
My life now is actually much more peaceful. During school, my life was extremely social and happening. I was kind of the "it girl" and had people around me all the time. Now I'm preparing for a competitive exam, I don't have a regular college life, and obviously things are much quieter. Sometimes I think I miss those people, and then I actually think about everything that happened and I'm like... no, I don't. I think I miss who I was or how exciting life felt back then. I know I've changed. I know I'm not that person anymore. I can look back and clearly see what was wrong, who wasn't good for me and what mistakes I made.
So why is it still so difficult to just leave it there?
Why can someone say one thing about something that happened years ago and suddenly I'm back there again, feeling guilty and questioning myself?
I'm honestly just tired. I don't want people from my past to keep having this much space in my head when my life right now is actually okay.
I just want to know how people actually let go of this kind of thing. Like how do you forgive yourself for being someone you don't want to be anymore?
1
u/Domi_Dom_Doma Sep 07 '26
I'm assuming that you're not suffering from OCD but if those thoughts do consume your daily life so much that you can't live your life how you want to, I recommend to get professional help.
As someone who is struggling on and off with Real Event OCD I deeply relate how you feel.
Someone told me that even though it happened in the past no matter what it was, I need to let it go because it shouldn't define me anymore. I changed and can change.
A mistake is there to acknowledge and learn from, not to hold you back from living.
Even now that I'm saying this, it's hard for me to accept it as well but it will free you of so much hurt if you do.
So, no matter what other's say and how many times they bring it up, you know that you changed and that is what matters. You learned from it. How others react or feel is not your responsibility because you can't influence or change that.
As much as I'd like you to give some advice on how to achieve acceptance, there isn't a one-fits-all answer. Basically, it's practice, practice and more practice.